What matters the most?

Yes it's been a while since my last post, but at least it wasn't an 8 year gap between posts har har har. Life is busy when you have a life.

When you meet someone who you have waited for, for a very long time, everything starts to fall into place. It might not make perfect sense (and everything may not make sense in the very beginning), but as time goes on and you look back at how everything fell into place, you start to see a huge plan that was inspired by God above. We may not ever understand why some things happen in life, or why they happen, but know that the Man above can see everything, can feel everything, and can make a huge difference in your life if you truly believe in Him. So I thank God for bringing the good and the bad people into my life. Life has its ups and downs. If it doesn't, you're dead (i.e think of flatline and ECG).

So a topic that came to light was...what matters the most? It's such a broad topic, but in today's society, what matters most is money. Everything is getting more and more expensive. Homes are becoming almost impossible for young professionals to buy. Base car prices have become more expensive, and you get less standard features. You want more? You have to pay to play. Premium designer handbags have also increased in price (if you are a handbag lady). The products are still exactly the same, same materials, same logo. (The real question is: do you really need the best to make you happy?). So what to do when people see all this? I need more money. I need to work more.  You spend more and more time away from your family, your spouse, your partner. You are now a work horse, who is on the brink of burning out. 

This potentially can lead to infidelity. You see someone at work or near your workplace who works just as hard as you, but flashes their wealth in people's faces. At first you don't think much. You have a loving partner and family who really matters to you. But as you spend more and more time away from home, and start staying later at work to make more money, you are now exposed to your colleagues more than your own family. Your colleagues have now become your biggest influences. You start to see, heyyyy this guy or girl is living the life. I want that in mine. It's all about the excitement and the emotional attachment. One thing leads to another and boom, you just got yourself into some terrible hot boiling water. And I don't mean that in a sexy way. You end up throwing your entire life away for something so temporary, so material and so meaningless, that it could just disappear faster than when you first met up. What for? All for a potential to be with someone who could spoil you with material things, or for a brief moment of excitement, or for emotional support. What people might not know is that person might be doing it to everyone else around them. So it's not just you that he or she is pretending to spoil. Money is the root of all evil (1 Timothy 6:10).

Girls...yes we do have a soft spot for nice things. Nice cars, nice purses, shoes, manicures, clothes. So when a dude rolls up in a Ferrari or Lamborghini, the first thing a girl thinks is "this dude has money". The first thought is never "he seems to be a really genuine nice guy who cares about his loved ones." Girls are suckers for nice fast cars. And the above two are perfect examples of cars that girls know very well. It shows wealth and power, and a potential for gold diggers. So if you're a real smart gentleman, going on a first date with a girl in a low key vehicle is key. It protects yourself from being hurt in the long run. Don't be stupid and bring out a Murcielago, because you are inviting someone you barely know into your bank account. Unless you don't care and want your bank account drained.

I saw a prank video a while ago with some dudes who used a Ferrari 458 Italia to pick up random girls. Whether this was planned ahead of time or not, it shows that girls are suckers for exotic cars. The guys drive up to an area, and start telling random girls that they are bored or whatever, and ask the girls if they want to hang out. Initially they say no, because they are complete strangers. As soon as the guy points to his bright red 458, the girls' reactions change. "Oh is that your car?! Ok sure let's go for a ride!" This was probably meant as a joke, but in reality, stuff like this does happen. Maybe not as direct, but when girls see nice cars, it's just about the bling. 

You hear of girls or women who are with wealthy guys, but yet the guys don't treat them well. Sure they get spoiled with gifts and cars and what not, but they don't have that emotional connection at all. Why do they stay? Because money. Because gifts. Don't get me wrong, there are girls who don't care at all about the wealth. But from what society has been shown through media, tv shows, movies, this is the influence. Girls and guys are now being influenced to believe that if you meet someone with wealth, then that's all that matters. You deserve nice gifts by a wealthy man or woman. When you have the mindset of "you deserve all the best material things in the world", it is difficult to turn around and walk away.

So what is the point of all this? It's all about the mindset and priorities in life. If you want to get to know money, then you will spend as much time to get to know money. If you want to get to know a person, you will spend as much time with that person to get to know them. 

It's sad how in society today, people are judged based on how much material things they have, not how much care and love a person can provide in a way that cannot be physically measured. You can't measure 5 grams of love, or $100 of hugs and kisses. It shouldn't matter about what they have, what car they drive, what purse they wear or where they got their manicures. What really matters is the connection between two people through common grounds. If you start off with very uneven ground, and try to build a skyscraper on it, it will topple and fall over. You can't build the world's biggest buildings and skyscrapers if you don't start off with the same foundations. In a good relationship, there has to be that common ground. And you both build up from that ground. There will be obstacles along the way, just like if there is a beam that is too short or too big to fit in a particular corner of a building under construction. But you work together to make sure the beam is the right measurement to continue building, and to make a solid foundation so it doesn't topple over. In the end, both of you have built an empire and you celebrate your achievements together.

Another is how you were influenced by those around you. I am fortunate enough to be surrounded by loved ones who could care less about having the great material things in life. We are blessed with basic needs in life: shelter, food and clothes. Everything else that comes is just an "added bonus" so to speak. It's not needed, but it's just an extra thing on the side. When you meet a person who shares the same common foundation as you, that itself is a true blessing. Everything else that comes after, whether it's cars or whatever else, those are just extras. Those are not the main force that should drive two people together. 

So ladies, if you ever find yourself being showered with gifts by some guy that you just met and barely know, that's a huge red flag. Please run for your life. Don't look back and don't let those gifts blind you. A real man would not do that. A real man would take time out of his busy day and talk to you to get to know you better through conversation. A real man would set his alarm clock at 4am to wake up and call his loved one at work while she's on break to talk. ^___^

Finding "the one" is not like picking out gummy bears in a grocery store. It's freaking hard. The more you think about it, the harder it is to find that person. Eventually that person will walk into your life when you least expect it, and perhaps in ways in which you never imagined. Life is funny sometimes, it's interesting. We will never understand 100% why everything is the way it is, but one thing for sure is trust in God and He will lead your way. And when you look back years later, you will start to see and understand the bigger picture.