April Fool's?

Happy (belated) Easter! 

CC = Christ has Conquered the grave!

Happy April everyone.

This year I didn't do any pranking on family or friends. It just didn't seem right this year. Last year I tried pranking my parents and recorded it.

They were both in the kitchen when I came in (filming of course), announcing that I was dating....a girl. I had met her at work, and we became friends quickly, and then started falling in love. I told her I was sick and tired of dating men, so I figured let's give women a try. My mother's initial response was this look of confusion, then telling me I still had to be careful who I befriend. But she probably didn't really know what I was trying to get at. At the last moment, I said I was lesbian.

She continued on with her house work.

That's when I told her April Fool's?

My dad was listening in, and he basically asked "Is she Chinese?"

Good to know my dad has a sense of humour!

I couldn't think of anything for this year though. Originally I was going to ask a girl friend whom my parents have never met before, and ask her to come over. And we'll start touching each other or something, and I'll tell them see, I have a girlfriend. But no one was willing to volunteer sadly. My hands are dry and cracked but it doesn't mean I have a rough touch! (Ok, maybe I do).

Onto reality, it's been just over 4 months since M passed. I still have my random break downs, and they come at random times. It could be over the smallest things too. A lot of times though, it's flashbacks. Flashbacks to the last moments of his life. That part is forever etched in my head and it will never go away. I don't think I will ever fill that void in my heart again now that he's gone. There will always be that emptiness.

Which brings me to the topic of death. I was listening to a sermon last week by pastor Tom, in relation to the death and resurrection of Christ because it was Easter. For those who don't believe, bear with me as I break it down to the best that I can.

We all have different perceptions on how life occurred, and what it all means. So it will really depend on the basic foundation of a worldview. In one view, the heavens and the earth was created from the very beginning by God (Genesis 1:1), added the land and the seas, day and night, stars and vegetations, then animals and then humans. He also added these creations were "very good" not once, but six times (Genesis 1:10, 12, 18, 21, 25, 31). He never once said his creations were "bad". Everything was created perfectly in the beginning. There was no death in the beginning. It wasn't until when Adam and Eve sinned against God that death was brought upon all. Human rebellion brought a barrier between God and humans.

The good news is that God came into the world as the Son (Jesus Christ), to offer himself as a living sacrifice so that we may be saved from our sins, remove that barrier, and spend the rest of eternity with Him. Before in the Old Testament, humans had to offer animal sacrifices to God in order to make peace with Him. Now we don't, because He already died for us. Not only that, but rose from the dead. That's the key part: Christ defeated death. Anything that we offer to Him now would be a slap to His face. But we are given this opportunity to have this personal relationship with Him, and for eternity. Your physical body dies, but your soul lives on. And that's what makes us who we are today. What better way to spend it with our awesome God, creator and saviour forever?! Better than winning the lottery, that's for sure!

I remember a quote from Ken Ham (Answers in Genesis founder), when someone asked him: If your God was all so powerful and all loving and caring, why isn't He here on earth to fix the problems?! Why didn't He come down to save us?

Ken's reply: He did come down to reveal Himself to us. And we nailed Him to the cross for it.

Brilliant answer Ken. Bang on. (AIG)

So going back to the topic of death, Tom brought up a really good point. When people die peacefully in their sleep, is it really that peaceful?

I don't know how many of you have dealt with someone dying or taking their last breath, but I can tell you it's anything but peaceful. Because death was never part of God's plan, I see death as a downfall. In today's society, death is a "normal" thing (then again, who determines what is normal and what isn't? When we all have various starting viewpoints, everyone will come to a different conclusion. So really, what is normal?). Someone dies, you mourn then move on with life. And the cycle keeps going until you die. What a life eh?

I have seen and been with patients who were on the verge of death, and ultimately taking their last breath. The path is definitely NOT a peaceful one and I can just imagine what goes on in their heads. It's unfortunate we won't be able to know what really goes on in their minds, but think of it like this:

Your body is basically shutting down. All your organs are failing. You (your soul, your mind) is screaming in pain, feeling very afraid. You just want to escape from it all. But you can't scream. Because all the nerves in your body are starting to lose sensation. It is unable to deliver information from the brain to the rest of the body. Breathing changes. Each breath can take up to 20 seconds. Sometimes you can hear fluid accumulation in the lungs (in congestive heart failure, as the fluid backs up into the lungs). You start to go unconscious. Family tries to shake you awake but you can't open your eyes. You can hear them, and feel their touch, but you can't say anything back.

Eventually as time passes, the heart slows down, circulation decreases, and breathing starts to cease. The person will struggle to breathe. Tell me, how is that peaceful? There will be the moment when the person takes their last breath. And don't believe in movies when the person looks like they just close their eyes and dies like that, without a sound. Nope. The last breath is usually very loud and gaspy. For a moment you think they are choking on something, but it's a sound that you will never forget, because soon after it becomes eerily silent.

Honestly, there is nothing peaceful about death. When I reflect and have flashbacks of M's death (and come on, he isn't even a human), I saw him struggle the last few hours of his life. It was NOT peaceful. Watching your loved ones gasping for air, trying to breathe, and hearing that they are fighting against the fluid accumulation in their lungs, that is anything but peaceful. They probably know they are dying (both humans and animals), but they can't tell us. And that's the hardest part about death. Not knowing what's really going on in their minds.

When people tell me their loved ones died in their sleep, and they went peacefully, I nod out of respect and say my condolences. But again, there is no such thing as dying peacefully. Death is not natural, and was never part of God's plan from the beginning.

For me, yeah I totally miss M and I miss his presence. If only he could live forever, then it would make life much better. That goes with any loved ones in our lives. I do believe if it was a perfect world from the very beginning, there would be no death. Therefore M (along with the rest of the world) would live forever physically. However, this isn't the case.

There is still hope though. If we believe Christ is God, we can spend the rest of eternity with Him. Death will only be a temporary thing. Death shouldn't scare us, but it should prepare us for what's to come (and it won't be a sad thing!). Ultimately, it will come down to a person's choice whether they choose to believe or not. But one thing we know for sure, God's arms is always open to us. It's a matter of us accepting it or not.

Although death is a sad reality, there is one thing that I remember another pastor telling the congregation. It's not goodbye, but it's "see you soon".

Lastly, have I said it's already April? Man, where did the time go?! Weather is pretty crappy though. It's suppose to snow later today, and temperature will be hovering around the 1 degree Celcius mark. Hopefully the snow won't stay very long. Definitely will be driving like a grandma.

Now that spring (and soon to be summer) is here, any car plans? Not really. Originally I planned on wrapping the car, but the thought of having to detail the car first before wrapping it is making me do a double take. That plus the lack of time. One thing for sure though, the car is going for another tune. Not SFR. Not BTR. Still in talks about the cost and what not, but Genny needs another tune for sure. Otherwise it's just maintenance.

Speaking of maintenance, check your fluid levels people. I made a habit of checking mine on a weekly basis, except I missed out on one important one: the coolant. On the Genny BK1, the reservoir is situated at the front of the hood, but it's facing towards the driver. So it faces AWAY from the hood. To check the levels, you really have to lean your head in the engine (and yes, preferably with it off, otherwise your head/hair will get caught in the belt, and there goes your head).

After I had spent an arm and a leg fixing up the suspension, good ol' dad went to check the fluid levels. He then noticed something odd about the coolant. He opened the cap, and noticed there was basically no coolant in there. Well, it was hard to tell how much was left, but it was way below the "L" mark. I was only able to make out about 10mL of coolant in the reservoir. Let's just say thank God for my dad, for that moment in time. Otherwise who knows right now if Genny would still be in one piece, or burnt down on a highway somewhere.

Do I take responsibility for it? Absolutely. It's basic assessment that should've been caught. But here's the thing. I find it odd that after all these years of taking it to dealerships and various independent shops, and having friends work on it, no one was able to catch my mistake. And who will ultimately pay the price for the mistake? It would be me. So yes, very odd no one caught my mistake. In almost 6 years.

When I catch a medication error, or in one case, someone had mistaken my patient for theirs and started doing treatment on them (which by the way, it was different from my patient), will I stand there and watch? No, I have the duty to report an error, small or big. Technicians are like the doctors of the car world. The owner (me in this case) may not have caught an error, but it's also the technician's duty to inspect, which takes a few seconds mind you. In a way, they all failed in my eyes to do the most basic of basic assessments when I relied on them for treatment.

Aside from the boo boos and a potential tune, I have no clue what else to do. I still have yet to enjoy one proper month of driving with tuned Genny. And she's been with me for almost 6 years. So fingers crossed, I hope this summer will be a good one.