Dreams...about exes?!

Everyone goes through weird dreams at one point or another. I don't mean ambitious dreams, but I mean nightmares/dreams in your sleep.

Our brain is a very interesting mass of muscle, tissue, fat, veins, arteries, nerves. We can't control what we dream about in our sleep, especially once we hit the REM part of the sleep cycle.

Sometimes if we're too stressed about something, we dream about it that same night. I find that when I'm really exhausted, I don't dream of anything. It's just 8-9 hours of blank space.

I think it was about 18 years ago (18!!!) that I dreamt about the Backstreet Boys. This was the time that BSB was doing worldwide tours and they were pretty much number 1 in everything. I had won a contest to hang out with them for the day and was allowed to invite a friend. They had this indoor playground (yeah, don't ask) similar to that of McDonald's, but it was a lot bigger. Big enough for adults to play and crawl around in.

Anyways, I remember we went on the tour bus with them, got to check out their studio for recording their songs, and got to check out their mansion that they were staying at. And I believe also a ride in their jet. Yeah, it was an amazing dream.

It was so amazing that the first night I dreamt, the dream wasn't finished when I woke up. I was disappointed. Truly disappointed because I wanted the journey to continue.

That same night, my dream had continued onwards until the end of the trip. That was the first and only time that I had a continuous dream on 2 separate nights. Never again did I have another dream like that. So I still remember it to this day, and how I was able to get so close to Nick Carter!

My other dream was when my mom decided to buy an Infiniti QX80. It's the ugliest SUV I've ever seen in my life, and in real life she would agree as well. But in this dream, for some odd reason, it was her dream vehicle that she thought would be best to carry the family around. We could use this for long road trips with family, it was so spacious and had all the latest gadgets. She was willing to buy it and keep it for as long as it would last.

Of course when I woke up and told her about it the next day and showed her a picture of the QX, she started laughing her butt off. Because she would never buy an ugly thing like that.

Then of course there was the dream about M. When he came alive in my dream, and I was able to spend that few precious moments with him before he went back to Rainbow Bridge with his friends. I'll never forget that one.

Now of course I've had many dreams over the years, and many of them I don't remember now because there were so many. I only really remember the recent dreams.

Has anyone ever had dreams about their exes? I have. It's not because I miss them, or think about them. It just happens I've had dreams about them. And like I mentioned before, we can't control what we dream about.

The longest relationship I've had was about 3.5 years. At that time I thought I would settle, everything is all dandy. But it wasn't the case. I broke it off, and never looked back. I do remember that a few months later, I got a text from him. Checking up to see how I was doing. Now this was after I was being spied on a few times because I was trying to move on. So of course I never replied back. To me, it was almost like a taunt.

But then again, part of you wonder are they really being genuine? Do they really care to know how you're doing? So many what ifs, but they will never get answered.

Anyways, I know I've had a few weird dreams about him. Some of it was about getting back together or catching up. I usually brush it off because he's moved on and so have I. Recently I had a dream about him again. This time, it felt like the dream lasted way too long. As if it lasted my entire sleep.

On a normal day basis I don't think about him, I don't think about the past. I don't keep in touch with him; haven't spoken to him since the day I said goodbye. I shouldn't be having dreams about something that I never think about. But I did. It was almost like a nightmare.

This time, the dream started off with me emailing him to see how he was doing. I didn't know if I would ever get a reply back. And guess what. He replied back! Said everything was fine. He was happily married and had a newborn, along with a cat. That was weird because in real life he was allergic to cats.

After a few emails back and forth, I noticed he had uploaded a group picture of us on Facebook, then had captioned MY name, and started making fun of my nose. In real life, I was never a fan of my nose. Some Asians have slightly bigger noses than others, and I guess I was never happy with mine. Maybe this was a sign of my fear?

This was when I got pissed off and emailed him back, asking what the hell he was doing. That after all this time, why would he do such a thing to make fun of me when I hadn't even done anything to him. That I would never do such a thing to him. After that he changed the caption to "hanging out with my precious princesses". Weird again.

Shortly after that, we both agreed mutually to meet up to see how we were doing with life etc. When we met up, he seemed happy. We joked about his newborn, and how tiring it was to raise kids because he never really wanted kids. Then he talked about adopting a cat because...I'm not sure why. I can't remember.

We laughed and joked, and that's when he leaned in to give me a kiss. SUPER WEIRD. The dream ended off with him saying "you know, your mom still needs to back off from your independence."

WEIRD.

I woke up in a jiffy. It was on my mind for a while. Not because I've dreamt of him cheating on his wife with me. Ew no thanks. But it bothered me because it was a reminder of him asking how I was doing, and I never replied back to him those years ago.

Dreams and reality. Sometimes it's hard to mix the both of them. There are times dreams are partially true, but most of the time they're just dreams. I did have a dream about an exam one time, that I got 54% which is considered a fail. In reality when I got my results, it was actually 54% (the passing grade was 60%) so I did fail that test and had to redo it. THAT blew my mind.

There are the exes that you never talk about. Then there are exes that you can get along with. Then there are the ones that you wonder how they're doing. I think out of my own "good will", I do wonder how they're doing. Especially the ones who you cut contact with. There will always be that one tiny bit of curiosity, to see how they're doing. In a way, they did help shape the person you've become today. They did care for you, they got to know you as a person, and perhaps at one point you were ready to settle with them.

But perhaps that's why it's called the past. That's why they call it moving on. It's just weird that I've had dreams about this particular person the most.

Maybe it's because I've been stressed at work lately too. Trying to get things done before Christmas. I just found out the big boss has put me in charge of the entire unit for the next few days. Something I didn't expect. Since last night, I've been working on the assignments and because of the opening of a new unit, names have been shifted and there's a huge area of error happening if I don't go through hundreds of names properly. I went home with a plan for Christmas eve: to get my staff out as early as possible.

Maybe...maybe I'm just stressed. But this weird dream had nothing to do with my real life stressors.

Anyways that was my weird dream as of late. I wish I could dream about Chanel bags instead, that I had won the lottery or something. Or save the world from all the bad people. But nope.

I just wish we could control what we dream about each night.