Awkward

Has anyone had family friends or friends of friends who try to set you up on blind dates, even when you're already taken? Yup. It has happened. And it's just awkward.

I've developed into the type of person who doesn't like to share my "relationship journey" (or whatever they call it these days) on social media. I feel that it's my personal relationship with someone, so why do I need to share it to everyone in the entire world? My happiness is my happiness. I'll put bits here and there because I like a picture, or I think it's adorable but I definitely won't flood the newsfeed with what we ate, which washroom we're using or our vacation pictures. 

Same with the workplace. I won't voluntarily share information unless someone asked (and even then, it depends on the question being asked). I'm not the type of person that will announce to the entire team or clients about my relationship life.

Which brings me to an awkward topic. I've had situations where people would try to set me up with someone they know, and I'm clearly in a relationship with someone else, because I don't talk about my personal life with people. So people have absolutely no idea. And then it makes it awkward.

One incident I remember: A co-worker really wanted to set me up with her son, saying he's a paramedic and good looking etc etc. She had no idea I was already in a relationship, so I told her it's ok, I'm already seeing someone. She gave this look as in "awwww". And I thought that was that.

Then I get invited to her holiday potluck with the rest of the coworkers. I went with my girl friend and we were having fun until that same coworker grabs me and says, COME MEET MY SON! 

Uh. Yikes. Awkward.

I guess she forgot? Or maybe she didn't understand what "I'm already in a relationship" meant. Maybe that's why there are so many cheaters in this world. One party says I'm married. The other just says ok great. So leave them. They don't care about anything else except themselves. Pisses me off.

Anyways back to my story.

There was another group of younger people there, which I assume are the son's friends. So at least it wouldn't be completely awkward. But feeling that I got split up from my girl friend was already tensing me up.

The son and his friends were cool. My conversation with the son was pretty short though. I don't remember his name. My attention turned towards another girl in the group because she drove the same car as I did. I ended up having the longest conversation with her instead and we talked about car mods, and what mods I have in mine, along with what mods she wanted. We were just so excited to talk about cars that we forgot about the party!

Nothing happened out of that event. Aside from the coworker asking how I thought of the party and of her son. And that's when I had to remind her again that I was taken. And then she's like OHHHHHHH well, that's too bad! I really like you and want you to be my daughter!

I'm flattered O_O

She's a lovely lady though. God Bless her soul. I hope for the best for her son and a potential wife material! From that day forward, she stopped bugging me about having me as her future daughter.

Which brings me to one of the latest encounters with a client.

I won't go into details but I had helped this client medically to get her better, and because of that, she was forever grateful and always thanked me whenever she saw me. This time around, we had a long conversation about treatments and how it would improve her overall health. It led to her asking if I was still single.

I said single as in not married yes. But I am seeing someone. And that's when she said, darn it. If you didn't, I actually have someone in mind for you!

And of course she went on and on about who this person was and what he did, where he was from, how many languages he spoke. Listing out everything. It's always awkward to have conversations like these, because I have to be professional about it as well. I can't make ugly faces or accept all the offers. 

In the end, she never bothered me about it again. But it's kind of weird how people are introducing people to me. My other younger colleagues don't get that much dating attention, but that's probably because they're already married, or seeing someone. I guess people just think all I do is work and have no social life (which is partially true). 

In Asian culture, if a woman is 25 or above, she's considered too old to be married. They're like the left overs, or those that men don't want anymore because something's wrong with them. It's a stupid misconception and a stupid mentality to follow because it's definitely not true. These days women work just as much as men do. It takes them much more steps to get to the same higher positions as men because of their gender. 

Now that my gap is closing to 30 pretty quick, I can say that most of my years I've focused on making my career, and building steps to move upwards. That takes time, a lot of energy, a lot of concentration and a lot of sacrifice. Although I have old school parents, I was raised to work hard, build a future for myself because I shouldn't depend on a man to do that for me. In old school days, wives had to depend on husbands for everything because they were always at home, raising kids. These days, women do both: raise kids and work.

My mind is way too focused on building my career that I can't depend on anyone else to do that for me, except myself. I can't rely on my partner or husband to do that for me, or my parents, or friends. I have myself, and I have God (if this is the right path and God-willing). Is there something wrong with me? Absolutely not. This is why I refuse to accept the Asian mentality of why 30 year old women are not married. If women between 25-35 are not married yet, take into consideration that they are probably working their asses off to build a future because they can't rely on a man to do it for them. 

An Asian coworker once pestered me how come I wasn't married with kids yet. This was when I just turned 26. I said, why should I rush? I'm still young. And of course she said when she was my age, she was already married with 2 kids. I said great, that was then. But this is now. She of course went on about having kids early because it's better. The risk is greater when you have kids later. Blah blah.

I did mention I wasn't into kids so it wasn't at the top of my priority list to bust out babies by 30. Since the age of marriage has been increased to well past 30, having kids later in life is way normal nowadays. Am I worried? Nope. Who knows. Maybe by the time I change my mind, they could grow babies at home in a tube, so I wouldn't have to worry about carrying one in my stomach. Awesome.

There was another time, someone had tried to introduce me to their grandson. This was back in the day when I was still single. I kindly rejected his offer but he was so insistent that he CALLED his grandson on the phone right in front of me. Then he went on and on about how he had this pretty girl that he wanted him to talk to. THEN HE HANDS ME THE PHONE.

Great. Now what do I do. Thankfully the grandson knew of his grandpa's antics and apologized for his actions. I said what do we do? Don't want to disappoint him either. So we agreed to meet up for a quick coffee, just so he could tell his grandpa he met up with me.

We kept the coffee date short, but we knew it wasn't meant to be. But at least it gave the grandpa reassurance. I lost touch with the grandson, but I eventually was told he found a great girl and married her. The grandpa was too sick to attend the wedding, and soon after, he passed away. God bless his soul. 

There isn't really a "right" way of dealing with awkward situations like these; I guess a bit of humor helps too. But I always thank them in the end for thinking about me. I must've had some impact in their lives for that to happen XD.