Thursday, November 06, 2014

It's 2014. Where are the girls and their cars?

You are in your (insert whatever car you drive here), just cruising in the city when you get a text from your buddy saying "Hey _____! There's a huge car meet at ____ and ____! Come check it out! Our car club is heading there in about 30 minutes!"

Great, you say to yourself. Assuming you are a single guy, you get excited because maybe you'll get to meet a hot car chick for once! You are tired of heading to all these meets and all it is, is really a big sausage fest. But maybe just this once, you'll meet someone decent. Someone who shares the same passion as you: the love for cars.

You get to the meet, and once again, most of the drivers are guys. The girls that have attended are either someone's girlfriend or one of those Got Ass? models. Very rarely do you see girls who are single, pretty, and drive their own modified cars. It's like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You still chill around with your car crew before dispersing from the meet to go home and rest up. 

Now, you wonder where this is going. I will break it down for you.

I'm a chick who drives a modified coupe. I call myself a car enthusiast. I have attended car meets from the east end of the city to central and then west. I started off attending my first car meet back in 2010. I met some cool people and knowledgeable people (or so I thought) and continued to attend weekly meets. The east end meet died off, and I found another meet closer to home and started attending those meets instead. Once again, I met some nice people. I have attended charity car shows and regular car shows in the past. The guys at the meets all thought I was a nice person and wanted to help me gain more knowledge in the modifying world, which is great. It's like I found some gurus that could guide me into modifying cars peacefully.

But here's the problem. They would want more than just your friendship. And when you reject them, all hell breaks loose. Suddenly, you are dealing with a wailing 6 year old who wants his candy but you refuse to give him any candy. 

Would a girl really want to get together with someone who wails and acts like a 6 year old? No thanks. And this is why I don't date guys in the car scene.

Don't get me wrong, there are some decent guys at these meets. But I'd say most of them, if not all, would already be taken. And because of that, I wouldn't want to get close to them; you wouldn't want to send off the wrong message would you? 

From a girl's perspective, and one who has been to these meets for a couple of years, there are a few things I can list out why a girl would attend these meets:
1) To interact with others who share the same passion for cars
2) To learn more about car modifications, and how they work
3) To cruise with people who drive the same car as you (like how cool is that?!)
4) To take photos of cars (sharing a passion for photography)
5) To be part of the small community of girls who have a passion for cars

You see, none of the above have anything to do with getting into someone's pants. Then again, this is coming from a car enthusiast who is a girl (and my passion for cars is just one passion).

Now, if I can summarize why guys attend these meets, this is what I observed:
1) To see who has the faster and better car
2) Boosted ego (hey, not just my turbo, but gotta boost my ego too!)
3) To share your vast knowledge of cars, or so you think, but really you have absolutely no clue what you are talking about
4) To meet hot chicks
5) To get laid by hot chicks
6) To start drama and rumours within the circle of the club when hot chicks rejects you
7) To start drama with hot chicks' boyfriend(s)
8) Or if you are really normal, you just go to meet new friends

Basically, it's all about the ego for guys. And you wonder why there are less girls in car clubs/meets. 

There's a difference when a girl poses on your car to take pictures in a bikini versus a girl who drives a modified car to a meet and calls it her baby or project. If I was a guy, and I saw a girl pull up in her modified car, I would appreciate it. I believe it is all about the mind set and how you interact with the girl. But this is the sad part. Most guys (not all) do not know how to appreciate that nor do they know how to keep a conversation. The easiest way is to look at the chick as another dude and just start talking to her like if she were a dude. But that could only go so far before you realize this dude still has boobs, wears heels, wears nail polish, and takes a purse every where they go.

All the girl really wants is appreciation. Appreciation for her passion in cars. Appreciation in her knowledge of cars. Appreciation that she wants to learn more about cars (if her knowledge does not surpass yours already). But most importantly, appreciate who she is.

So the next time you see a girl at a car meet, don't go running to her with your pants down your legs and your ding dong drooling all over the place (so to speak), and hope that she may fall in love with you. Because I guarantee you that will not end well. Instead, get to know her as a person first. She is human, she has feelings too. Oh yeah, put your damn ego under your bed before you step out of the house. Showing off your car knowledge to her until she dies from boredom is not going to win you points. Communication is a two way street, so you have to hear her out as well. And if you decide to help her out with modifications and installations (and continuously telling her she doesn't need to pay you back for anything), don't expect anything more than a hug or a high five in return. Especially if she has no interest in you as a potential date. If she is a great friend, then I really hope she would at least take you out for a meal.

So to all the guys out there, who let your ego get the best of you: You need to change the way you act around the ladies. I'm not saying go and change yourself, but you can change the way you interact with others and change the way you react to situations. We are raised and live in a society that is all about violence, swearing, being the biggest thugster, being dominant, and letting your ego get the best of you. You want to be the unique one? You do the exact opposite of what was mentioned above.

The hot chick at the car meet rejected you? Or the hot chick decided to go out with someone else? Don't react by swearing at her or by spreading rumours about her etc. That is grade school reaction. You want to be a real man? Then act like a real man. Accept it and move on. Other guys are acting like jerks and being stupid? Or having e-penis wars online? Don't join in. The more you feed the fire, the bigger the fire. So unless you want to burn yourself, then I suggest you stay away from that non-sense.

To the ladies out there, who are car enthusiasts and attend car meets and clubs, I applaud you. There are not many of us out there so I high five each and every one of you for being brave and being a part of a male dominant hobby. Show the guys your on-going projects, and continue to do what you love to do: modifying cars.
To the ladies who are car enthusiasts but who have not attended any meets or clubs, I encourage you to check it out if you have any meets or clubs available in your area. If you don't want to go alone, bring a friend or someone you really trust to go with you. If you are married, I hope to God you wear your wedding ring, and bring your husband. If you are single but don't want to get hit on, wear a ring anyways. What I'm saying is, be prepared for some leg humping. But also prepare your minds as well. Don't let any of the sweet talking get to you.

I am thankful for the good and bad experiences from the meets I've attended. I've met people who were nice, backstabbers, liars, thieves and plenty of douche bags. There are plenty of acquaintances but no good friends in the end. All I can say is, my car meets and clubs are behind me, and that is one chapter of my life that will close.


Cheers!

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