Crime Shows

I rarely watch TV, as ridiculous as it sounds. The influence came from my grade school teacher, who didn't allow her 2 daughters to watch tv on weekdays. She told my mom during one of our parent teacher interviews, and from that point on, my mom decided to put that rule on me as well. That was about 20 years ago.

I probably watched more tv when I was at the babysitter's place than when I was at home. Growing up it was about those extracurricular activities: piano lessons, skating lessons, swimming lessons. Eventually I got used to it. I think I remember way more tv shows when I was a kid versus when I hit high school. Lamb Chops, Barney, Power Rangers, Rugrats, Reboot, Simpson's...there were probably a few others but those are the ones I can recall very quick.

That's why when friends come up to me and ask me about the latest ad they saw on tv, or about the latest shows, I look at them with a deer in the headlights look. Because I really have no idea what they're talking about.

Now with constant access to the internet at your fingertips, it is way more easier than cable tv. It's insane how technology and internet have really took off since the late 90's and early millennium. I still remember the elementary school days where I had to use dial up internet in order to go on the internet. The connection got lost immediately when someone picked up the phone. It was always a pain when I was playing Flight Simulator 98, and flying with people online. Ahhh, good times.

I was surprised how much Youtube has on their search engines. Before it was all about short clips back in 2005. Nowadays, there are movies, shows...it's crazy. Which brings me to shows on Youtube.

I've always been into crime drama or crime shows. There's just something fascinating about it. But I think what really intrigues me is the mind of a killer. How did they end up getting to that point, what was their family history like, what was their upbringing like, their childhood etc. I never thought about going into criminology or forensic analyst, but it would be an interesting field to go into, although a very stressful and emotionally draining one.

This brings me to a few shows that I have been addicted to lately: Scorned, Love Kills, The First 28 Hours, Deadly Women, Deadly Affairs, Happily Never After and Behind Mansion Walls. These shows all are inspired by real life crime, bringing them to life. The first time I saw one of those episodes, I thought they were made up stories, but when I did more research on some of the most interesting crimes, they were actual crimes.

All the crimes have people from different backgrounds, and what I mean is upbringings. But it's very similar in terms of theme. A lot of the crimes I've noticed involved a third party, or money. It doesn't matter whether they come from a very wealthy background or not. We may think the super rich family life is perfect because they can buy whatever they want, but it is far from that. Money can make a person evil, from both the inside and outside.

I wrote a post last year about money and cheating. It's pretty much a common theme. Someone may have a lot of money, to the point they don't even know what to do with it. But then there are some who do have money, who will pay for a good time, regardless if they have a spouse and kids. It's about the selfishness and wanting to make themselves happy. Or getting a high so to speak. And when you have all the money in the world to buy whatever you want, it's tempting. Then you lose control. Once you've done a crime, it's impossible to just pay your way out of it, especially when it comes to murdering a spouse or family member. At that point, it doesn't matter how much money you have in the bank account because you'll be in jail until you die.

So from what I've seen and read, spousal abuse and murders don't just happen in the lower or middle class, but it can happen to the rich as well. I find it much more deadly when it involves a super rich powerful person because they can lie their way out of things or pay for people to be quiet, because they have the resources for it. Doesn't make it right, but you can see how evil the human heart really is.

Behind Mansion Walls was pretty intriguing because it focuses on crimes relating to the super rich. Not just millionaires, but billionaires. They owned many properties, cars, yachts...things that working class people only dream of owning. Yet we see even as millionaires or billionaires, they still want more. A common theme is that one spouse is a self made millionaire, while the other spouse is a regular working class person. Maybe they got bored of each other, or a third party was involved, but when it comes to divorce, the millionaire does not want to split their income with their spouse (especially if there's no pre-nup agreement). Instead of splitting 50/50, they rather kill their spouse and keep their earnings. Through investigations, the truth is revealed. Bottom line is, it's all about money.

I can see why (I mean anyone can see why) while battling a divorce, they wouldn't want to split 50/50, especially if you are super wealthy. You made or inherited all your income. Why should you pay half of that to your spouse who is leaving you? It's yours after all. But I would rather do that than kill them and then go to jail for life for murdering them. Who wants a life in jail until they die?

Besides, I'm not a person who supports divorce. Mark 10:9-12 states:

Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” 

10 When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. 

11 He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 

12And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”

There is a reason why God does not allow divorce (unless the spouse commits adultery); we can see how much heartache and issues divorce can cause to many people. We can see how much money couples have to input into divorce proceedings, lawyer fees, miss work because of court dates, and it's even harder when it involves children, because now there is also child support involved, along with who gets custody of the children. It becomes even harder when it's a messy divorce. Did God intend for all this to happen? No. Because we ourselves stray our hearts away from God. We chose to "follow our hearts" and not with our minds. We shouldn't be blaming God for our problems, because we are the ones who created the problem. We are the ones who strayed away from His warnings and commandments. God wouldn't want us to go through that, so that's why He created this commandment, because He loves us and cares.

Once again, it really depends how you see money. Money can be seen as two ways: temporary materialistic thing or a bad addiction. For some people (or a lot; I don't have stats on it), money is an addiction. There's a difference between being addicted to money, and being frugal with your money. There are times I am frugal with money, but then there are times that I need to buy something on the spot (say for example, like sanitary pads or food) and I don't really think about trying to compare 10 stores to see which has the better deal. I'll just buy it because I need it now. With money addiction, it's all about getting as much money as you can, whether it's through legal or illegal means. As soon as a portion of money is gone or missing, you try to do whatever you can to get it back, legally or not. Money ends up driving your life. And that's the life that becomes dangerous.

My initial theme of the post took a turn, but in a way it was suppose to branch out a bit. I used to watch CSI, along with Law & Order: SVU, but they are only entertainment shows, not real life crime drama investigations. I find the real life crime dramas much more fascinating because it involves real crimes. They analyze the crime from different angles and really go in depth into the history of how it led to the crime. For those interested in the field of criminology, it's a good start to learning and also helps with basic assessments of a crime.

Coping Follow-Up

Time really flies.

It's been almost 2 months since M has been gone. In terms of coping with his loss, I'm not sure if it's been improving or not. People have said I've improved, but I feel like I haven't. 

I don't even know which stage of grieving I'm in to be honest. I don't think I've fully accepted the reality of it all, because part of me feels that he's still sleeping in the closet and hiding from us. But part of me is saying he's gone already, he's not here anymore.

It's been difficult trying to find new routines, in order to cope with his loss. I feel guilty for doing it since I don't want him to think I'm forgetting all about him and moving on with my life. The morning routine is the most difficult because I would be the first to wake up and feed him breakfast before I go to work. When I wake up now, there's a sense of loneliness. There is no more meowing for food, no more rubs against the leg for a pat. And it becomes really difficult making my own breakfast, without making his first. 

Mom and I used to take turns changing his water bowl in the mornings after his passing, as it was our routine for many years. It hasn't been changed for some time, but I can see the water levels becoming lower and lower as it evaporates over the days. It hurts to see, because it's a strong reminder that he isn't coming back to eat his food or drink his water. Part of me still thinks, oh he's thirsty today. Good boy, he's drinking. 

Going out shopping with the folks is one thing. We have a habit of splitting up to shop, then meeting at a certain time to go home together. And for many years, we would always meet up at 5pm or so, because we had to go home and feed M dinner. It is still very similar to this day, that we would still meet up right before dinner to go home. But there is no one to go home to. We either go out and have dinner, or go home and make dinner. There is still that routine that hasn't changed.

I haven't had many dreams about M since his passing. It's probably because most nights I never get a full night of rest and go into REM. I would get angry or stressed when I didn't dream of him, whereas my folks would dream of him, and tell me about their dreams that he is in a happy place now with other cats. It felt like he didn't care about me or forgot about me. But I knew that wasn't the case, because I was still so hurt that I couldn't fall asleep properly. 

The other night, I did have a dream about M. He wasn't there in my dream, but the theme was about him. Our family had moved out of town, and got a huge home. I think it was because we couldn't cope with his loss anymore and decided to move. I don't remember how the new home looked like from the outside, but the inside was beautifully decorated. Huge foyer that led to the kitchen. Before the kitchen, there was a nicely decorated Christmas tree, with wrapped presents under the tree. I remember the feeling of being free from the city and now in a quiet small town area. But then a sense of loss came upon me. We had this huge place, but M wasn't there. And that's when I started crying. I remember I dropped in front of the tree and just started crying.

Then I woke up.

To me, it meant quite a few things. He passed away before Christmas. 18 years ago, we took him home a few days before Christmas. We had celebrated so many Christmases together over the years. Even though in my dream we had this huge place, it didn't mean anything considering M was no longer here with us. You can have all the money in the world, but it will not bring back a family member who has passed on. So this is why I don't see money as a drive for me, because I can't bring him back with it. Money can only stay here on this planet, but you can't take it with you when you pass.

You know what they also say? That we tend to dream about stuff that has been on our minds for so long, or stressed about, that it plays out in our dreams. For me to have that dream, after months of not having dreams...it tells me it's always on my mind. 

To this day it's still very hard to deal with his loss. I haven't seen many friends since he's passed. Part of it is because I don't want to spread my grieve onto their lives. I didn't really celebrate Christmas or New Year's. I only talk about my true feelings with a couple of people. My sense of happiness is gone. I haven't done anything I used to enjoy before his passing (piano, hip hop dance, car stuff, even purse stuff). It just feels empty. I do feel a lot of guilt though: wishing I could have spent all my free time with him, debating with myself whether sending him to the hospital was the right call, debating whether I did all that I could to try and save his life...it goes on. 

The next one to overcome is my birthday. I don't have plans to celebrate it; if anything I just want it to be over and done with. It's just hard to be celebrating something without M by my side, since he was always here. Work can only go so far to distract me from reality, because at the end of the day when I come home, reality hits me. I still break down almost everyday, mostly at home and sometimes at work during break time. It is also when no one is around that I have bad break downs.

Who knew losing a furry pet could impact our entire life. Mentally I knew he was getting old and one day was going to go, just like the rest of us. But emotionally, it's very hard to accept. They say it takes time, but it's also when the mentality and emotions mend together as one, in order to finally accept the truth. 

Miss you M.

Break up, Back up

Most of us have gone through at least one break up in our lives. Some maybe not, but that's ok too. Some have amicable break ups. Some have terrible break ups, and unfortunately some people lose their lives while trying to break up. Everyone has different views on how to break up, or how to deal with a break up. There is really no "right" answer, but there are different ways you can cope with it, and ultimately the most important thing is that you move on and so does the other person.

Nowadays, there's a trend that I see (or maybe it's just me). People who break up but then try to sue each other in court for money. Or try to go after your ass over gifts that were given to you. Once again, it's all about money. 

This is what I don't get. Why waste all your resources and money trying to fight and sue...to get more money? I can understand if it's over quite a bit of money, like 10K or more. But over a few hundred bucks, I would just leave it and move on. Life is too short to be fighting over ridiculous amounts of things and in the end, you will still die and still leave all your materialistic things here on earth. 

I'll give you an example from my experience. Considering I've never dealt with anything at this level before, I will share with those who have never encountered this before, to shed some red flags from the beginning of a (bad, unhealthy) relationship.

First off, if you start off a relationship being showered with expensive gifts, that's a red flag. You can't buy someone's love. You have to have that mutual respect and connection with someone first. Someone who can understand you, make you happy, can talk to you and connect with you on many levels (emotionally, mentally, spiritually). You don't need to buy things to make a person happy. Being there for them, someone to talk to, can already make them smile.

Second, if they are telling you wishy washy things (i.e not answering your question directly, avoiding eye contact, making up a bunch of excuses), they are lying about something. When you catch them in a lie, and they deny it by making up excuses, they are lying to your face. Being honest is such a huge thing, because that's how you develop trust with someone. But when they are always lying, you can't trust them. Simple. The biggest lie that I was ever told was him having a job, when he didn't have one. Why did I not catch on? I have no idea. Probably because I was too nice and trusted that he was a grown ass man who knew what he was doing with his life, when it was the complete opposite. You'd expect a man in his 30's to know what he's doing with his life, but not this one. He still relied on mommy to clean up after himself.

So if you suspect something weird about your dating partner, trust your gut instinct. It is almost always right.

So the break up happened, you wash your hands clean. You move on. 

Or so you think.

Normal people would take their stuff back after a break up. This one didn't. It was a bunch of excuses of why he was unable to come pick up his stuff, even after giving him a week's time to pick it up. Well, too bad so sad. Doors locked. 

If your ex's items remain in your hands after a break up, and you have given them ample time to pick it up but they don't, or they never show initiative to pick it up, you have the right to do whatever you want with it. Your house, your choice. You may choose to throw it out, or sell it, or whatever else you want to do with it. 

I have friends who think I'm way too nice, because I actually took the time and MY OWN ENERGY to move all his crap and drop it off at his family's place. I didn't have to, and I'm pretty sure most people wouldn't do it, but I really did not want any of his items around. So what's yours is yours. What's mine is mine. 

You would think after all that crap, I could at least move on. But NOPE! THERE IS MORE!

If you get any emails, letters, phone calls from the ex, threatening to take you to the cops if more items were not returned, don't take any of that crap. Let's be real here. First off, the cops aren't going to do anything. This is a civil matter. Cops would not get involved if one person left their stuff willingly at another person's place and didn't have it returned, unless you stole something from your ex or their families, or if you set their house on fire or something criminal. Then that's when cops will get involved.

If your ex gave you gifts during the relationship, or even after a relationship and didn't expect anything back (like money for example), then that's considered a gift. I'll give you an example. I was given a wallet, and was told it was bought long ago and it finally arrived in the mail. That was last year. This recent letter now suddenly says it was for his mother. So let me get this straight: if you got a gift that was intended for someone else, why would you give it to Person B?? You just dug yourself your own grave if you want to try and sue Person B to get that item back. 

If they want the gift back, they cannot rely on the police to get the gifts back, even with receipts and invoices and what not. This has now become a civil matter, where it would have to be settled in small claims court. So technically, yes, you can be sued. I know, so stupid right? It better be worth it to sue then. Because not only does the other party have to pay to file a claim, but then they would have to hire a lawyer, and if they lose they will have to pay a bunch of court fees. In the end, the fees would be much more than the amount of what they're suing for. As I said, it better be worth it.

So ladies and gentlemen, if you ever receive any threatening emails or letters saying you will be arrested or charged with theft (because the ex decided the gift to you months ago is no longer a gift anymore), don't believe that bull crap. You cannot be arrested or charged over a gift. Receiving a gift and keeping it is not breaking the law. It's like saying a guy buys his girl a 20K diamond engagement ring, but they then broke up. The guy initially doesn't want the ring back, but 6 months later decided he wants it back. Well, too bad. The girl can do whatever she wants with it. She can sell it, keep it, give it to someone else, or give it back to you. If you do not act on it first thing after a break up, then that person can do whatever they want with it. Take it as a loss. The guy cannot go to police and have the girl arrested for theft because it was a gift. He can sue her for money if he chooses, but he cannot have her arrested as this is a civil matter. She did not break any laws.

It's easy to say I wish I never met that person, because they ruined my life. I see everything as "God has a reason why they were introduced into my life." It might sound crazy, but it takes time to understand it all. Sometimes I won't even recognize it until a few years down the road when I see the bigger picture. I may not understand why this sap came into my life right now, but when I see the big picture later on, I will see it and understand it.

This is why I recommend people to just move on with their lives. If you really have some important things to pick up after a break up, do it right away. Don't wait until 8 months down the road. The most normal thing is to pick up stuff soon after a break up, and just move on. Don't even look back. Suing for money is not your problem; it's theirs. Suing is a waste of time for many reasons: wastes lawyer time, waste of time waiting to get a court date, wastes YOUR time (because YOU'RE the one who has to lose a day of work), waste of money and resources, waste of brain cells fighting back and forth.

No break up is worth spending thousands of dollars. Because in the end when we all die, we can't take our money or worldly possessions with us. Why kill yourself over something stupid when you should be living your life? Be strong, live a life worthy of your calling, and don't let threats like this stop you from being who you are. 

Steps to Premier Designers

The shift from contemporary designer to premier designers products can be a huge step for a lot of girls and women. For some, it is easy. For most, it's a huge step which requires a lot of planning and work.

People can get intimidated by premier designers. I know I was one of them. I was always afraid of walking into those high end brand stores, because I felt that I didn't belong. I felt those stores would only cater to the ultra rich or elite. But you know what? There is no way they can tell. They are just regular people working a job, trying to sell products. They were not trained to scan everyone's minds to see if they are billionaires or not. If you know what you want, you walk in like a champ and go for it.

People may think premier designers are only geared for the super elites, and only for them. That's what they want us to think. It's almost like university programs. They raise the standards so they can filter out those who do not reach the minimum requirement, and keep those who have higher grades. But this doesn't mean only "smart people" can stay in the program. There are gifted students, and then there are students who work and study 10x the amount of others because they want to be in the program. That's how I see it: you want to get a premier designer item, you achieve it by working 10x as hard. Anybody can have it; it's a matter of the mentality of getting there.

Everyone has their own experiences on how they get to premier designers. Everyone will offer different advice on how to get there. My advice and opinion is just one of many. But there may be a common theme. These steps are just guidelines; not necessary to follow exactly step by step.

1) Savings
This is a general way of saying "watch how much you spend." Start from the very beginning of when you start working. For example, summer jobs as a student. Don't blow all your earnings on a purse that summer, or don't blow your first paycheque on a designer item. It's nice to feel that you're the first person within your peers to own a premier designer bag. But if that continues to occur each summer, you will regret it in the long run. Besides, impressing people can only go on for so long. Eventually, people will get tired of it, think you're a snob, and distance themselves. Why should you impress other people? It's a waste of time and effort.

So start saving early. Use whatever opportunity you have to put it aside for your future.

2) Pay your bills and budget accordingly
This is quite obvious. Do not let a premier designer bag obsession take control of your life, including your everyday living and bills. Pay your bills first: mortgage, rent, insurance, car, hydro, cable, cell phone, property taxes, groceries. Once you've done all that, whatever you have left, put it aside. It is much harder when you have a home to pay for, because all your earnings (if not most) will go to bills. When you're a student with no mortgage, pay off your student loans first (if you have any). Focus on the important bills first. Bags will always be there, so there is no rush to get them. You rush, and you will regret it.

I once knew of a dumb dumb who did not know how to budget at all. Spent all "his" money (it was actually his mom's money) on expensive designer goods to impress people and girls. It got to the point that people didn't care anymore because he wasn't an honest person. And then he couldn't pay the basic bills. So not only did he bankrupt himself, but he bankrupt his family. Don't be like this dummy. Be smart, and prioritize your life accordingly.

3) Split savings
These days, there are banks that offer various chequing, saving, emergency fund and investment accounts. It's good to have it all and split them accordingly. These will be your main accounts. Then you can have a separate "splurge" account where on a weekly, bi-weekly or monthly basis, you put aside whatever amount you feel is comfortable in that account. For example, you put aside $300 a month, or $150 bi-weekly, or $75 a week. In 7 months time, you will have $2,100 saved up. You can either decide to get the item you really want, or continue to put in more. The more, the merrier.

4) Assess your financial situation

If a bag costs $2,000, will you be able to pay it off right away, or will it take you a month to do it? The best thing to do is to always pay it off as soon as you can. Give yourself a time limit. Depending on how much an item is worth, I give myself a 2 week limit to pay it all off. But most of the time when the bill comes, I pay it off right away so I don't have to worry about it. It helps to keep a good credit score by paying things on time.

Those are the main ones when it comes to the financial part. The best time to start saving and get a head start is when you're a student. 

5) Research your item

Nowadays with the internet just a fingertip away, it is easy to research. If you are interested in an item, I would suggest doing some in-depth research online first before dropping your hard earned cash on the table. Depending on the premier designer, some companies like Chanel do not put up their prices on their website, whereas Prada, Louis Vuitton and Gucci have prices listed online. Designers such as Chanel figures if you can afford their items, then there is no need to put up the prices, because you can afford them regardless. It drives me nuts because it's such a snobbish thing to do.

When that happens, there are two options. You either call up the local boutique to inquire about a product and price (and they will give it to you right away) or you search up online to find a price. The most accurate is calling the boutique right away. That way, you have the baseline price. If you decide to go the used bag route, then it will give you an idea of what price a used item SHOULDN'T exceed. For example, when I was really interested in the Chanel WOC, I called up the local boutique to ask about price. It's less intimidating as you're not face to face with any sales associates, but because there are so many variations of WOCs, prices can vary so I would have to be detailed on the item description and serial number.

What kind of item are you interested in? Large tote? Medium shoulder bag? Small clutch? There are a variety of styles and sizes, so focus on what style and size you want. 

Depending where you live, sometimes the items are readily available, and then there are times you have to be put on a waiting list. Chanel and Hermes are known for putting people on wait lists. Chanel for their infamous double flap bags (whether it's the medium or jumbo) and wallet on chain (WOC), and Hermes for their Birkin and Kelly. Here in Canada, I've noticed products are usually available in Chanel so you don't have to be put on a wait list, unlike in the States where a lot of people wait for months to years for a product.

Once you have the price baseline, you can start researching online. One of the most helpful websites for designer handbags is The Purse Forum. It has all the contemporary and premier designers, with sub-forums and informative posts. There are prices from all over the world, pictures, you name it. The best place to do your research. 

Another one would be Youtube and Google. Depending on the item you are looking for, there are people out there who do bag or product reviews, and are willing to share with the rest of the world whether it's worth buying or not. There are fashion blogs that review designer products as well. 

There are also consignment shops, either international or local that have used bags for lower prices:

-Fashionphile (based in California)

-Jodiday's closet (based in Toronto)

-Love that Bag (based in Montreal)

-Yoogi's Closet (based in Seattle) 

To name a few. 

Be careful of sellers on Ebay, or Kijiji as the chances of getting a fake or replica handbag is high. You don't want to spend your hard earned cash on a fake bag. Nor do you want to spend any money on a fake bag, as the quality will not be the same as the real thing. It was also found that those who sell fake bags have ties to terrorism, human trafficking rings, and drug trafficking. So please, if the price is too good to be true, it is most likely a fake. Best thing to do is to save up and buy the real thing from a boutique. 

6) Trying it on

After you have spent all your time researching this product, now it's time to go in and try it on yourself. This itself can be intimidating for some people, as you may encounter non-friendly sales associates in the boutiques, or just being in the presence of a designer boutique is already scary enough. But don't be. Remember, you aren't necessarily buying the product right away. This is why it's called shopping, because you look around and see whether you like the product or not. If you don't, then you don't buy it. 

Once you've stepped inside, you may have a SA approach you to ask if you need any help. From my personal experience, Gucci and Prada had SAs that came up to me and asked if I needed help, whereas with Chanel and Louis Vuitton, you would have to approach them to get help. I guess it all depends on location and depends how busy it is inside the stores. Either way, if a SA does not approach you first, you can always approach them. 

This is when you ask them about the product you're interested in. The SA would bring out the product(s) for you to look at, so take this time to really check out the details. Try it on. Look in the mirror. This will be the moment of whether it suits you or not. Ask questions. By all means, try out various products. If it helps, bring in your best friend or husband for emotional support, and for advice as well. Spend as much time looking over the product. 

7) Dress code

This is a debatable topic, because people have different experiences. Those on the Purse Forum noticed that if one was to dress up very professionally, they did not get treated well. Versus those who showed up in casual clothing. I'm not saying you should go in a bathing suit with flip flops on, but I don't think it's really necessary to go in looking like a lawyer either. 

When I think about my dress code, I really didn't dress up glamourously in all my shopping trips. It was either a casual summer dress, or a sweater with jeans. There was one time my mom and I decided to walk into Chanel, and we were both dressed up that day. But no one approached us. To some people working there, if they see people too dressed up, they know people are trying too hard to look "rich". And that's what shoppers experienced too on the Purse Forum.

The second time I went into Chanel to pick up a felt protector for the WOC, I showed up in my hospital scrubs. I got greeted right away actually. The lady asked if I needed any help, and I had told her my SA said it was ok for me to come in and pick up a felt protector, and if she needed to see my receipt, I had it as well. She never asked for it, but instead went into the back and got the protector for me. She came out and also helped me put the protector on the WOC.

So from my own experience, dressing casually but neat is sufficient. 

8) Final decision

So you've seen the product, touched it, tried it on, got all the advice, looked at all the details. Now it's the decision of whether you want it now or later. Or never. If you have to second guess yourself, then perhaps this is not the right product for you. If you have decided that this is the right one, and you have already assessed and met all the steps above, then go for it. 

Purchasing a premier designer product is always an exciting experience. It's one that you won't forget. When you have determined you are ready to buy, it becomes an exciting adventure. Treasure the moment, and definitely celebrate it with someone you love and care about as well.

9) Purchasing
This is the fun part (and of course the sad moment when you give your cash away). Most premier designer shops will have a waiting area where you can sit and relax, sip on some water or champagne while you wait for your item to be wrapped. It's the exciting moment when they step out with your bag.

10) Saying thank you
I have no idea how much commission SAs get when they sell a product, but depending how the SA is, I usually give them a thank you card along with a gift card of some sort. Especially when they go above and beyond to help me. Doing this will not get you on the VIP list; it's not about getting higher on the list. It's the small token of appreciation that can brighten up their day.

These are just some of my advice and experiences when it comes to shopping for designer goods. You can still apply this with contemporary designers, and with anything else. Thanks for reading.

Into the New Year

Happy New Year to everyone all around the world. May this year be filled with blessings from above, and exciting new adventures.

I have to admit, counting down with my folks was very difficult. It was depressing actually. And ringing in the new year was even worse. I don't think I've ever cried on new year's day. It was probably the worst new year's experience of my life. The answer is obvious: M isn't here anymore. Normally he would be walking around us when we count down, or sit on the stairs watching us. But whenever I look up from the TV, he isn't there anymore. It's an empty feeling inside, like you can't move on without having that person or pet around you.

I would go to malls to walk around and let off some steam. As soon as I pass by the pet food area, that's when I lose myself. I start balling. It just brings back memories and routines. I have to avoid pet stores and pet food area at superstores for the next little while.

That is also why I found it so hard to ring in the new year. Because I felt that I was leaving M behind in 2015. But as one family member put it: you aren't leaving him behind. You have him in your heart...he will always be there, and you carry him with you into 2016 and beyond.

I need to start remembering that and also start accepting that too.

This will be a few random thoughts, so I'll start that off as a new year post.

A couple days ago, there was an Air Canada flight from Shanghai, China to Toronto, Canada and while it flew over the Rocky Mountain area, the flight experienced severe turbulence. So severe that people were thrown from their seats up to the ceiling and back down to the floor. It was really bad that they had to make an emergency landing in Calgary to usher the injured off the flight for treatment. In total, about 21-22 people had injuries that needed to be treated. The flight then took off from Calgary to continue its final destination to Toronto.

Now there are talks about making seat belts on airplanes mandatory on all flights. I would agree with that. This is how I see it: when you are in a moving vehicle (a car), you wear a seatbelt. You don't take it off until you've parked. There is never an instance (nor does the law allow it) that once you hit the highway, you can unbuckle your seatbelt. Or if you are driving on the local roads, or country roads.

Same thing with an airplane. A plane is moving, not on the road, but high up in the sky where sometimes it's hard to predict how bad the turbulence can be. Yes, there are radars that pilots have that can tell them if it's bad or not. But really, sometimes you just never know. And when you hit that turbulence, it can become a madhouse.

My habit while flying is that I always keep my seatbelt fastened. I don't care if the belt sign is turned off and it's ok to remove it, but I never do. The only times I unbuckle it is when I need to use the washroom, or after we land and it's time to get off the plane. Those are the only two times I have it removed, otherwise they remained fastened. My most recent flight trip hit bad turbulence to Vancouver, lasted about 20 minutes and it was bad. Not as bad as the above flight, but it was nauseating enough.

The part which baffles me is when the seatbelt sign comes on, and the flight attendants announce bad turbulence and for everyone to sit down in their seats, yet people still get up to use the washroom. HELLO? DO YOU WANT TO DIE? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ENGLISH? Actually, most if not all flights now have all types of languages, so DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND YOUR OWN LANGUAGE? PLEASE SIT DOWN AND FASTEN YOUR SEATBELT????

And then of course when they go flying against the ceiling, they start suing the airline for their injuries. All people care about is money and more money. It's ridiculous. Come on, the human bladder can expand quite a bit and hold a lot of pee. Nurses can go without peeing for 12 hours (their entire shift), so I'm sure you can hold your pee for an extra 20 minutes. I'm not saying it's safe or healthy to hold your pee for a very long time but at least obey this one command and sit your ass down with your seatbelt on. Follow the damn rules for once and stop acting like an entitled brat. Flight attendants have enough crap to deal with on their plate, so give them some respect.

Then there are the ones who stand up, as soon as the plane lands. WE HAVEN'T EVEN TAXIED OFF THE RUNWAY YET! What part of PLEASE SIT DOWN UNTIL THE PLANE COMES TO A COMPLETE STOP do you not understand??!!!!! Does it make it any faster if you stand up to grab your stuff from the overhead compartment while the plane is still taxi-ing to the terminal? NO! Because you still have to sit your ass down! Unbelievable. The worst ones are the Chinese. I'm not being racist here (considering my background is of Asian descent) but that's what I've noticed. And it pisses me off because it's those bad apples that make the entire race a bad race.

Kudos to the flight attendants for doing their best in getting things under control and dealing with stupid people all the time. I don't know how you guys and girls do it, but if I were a FA, and people said stupid things to me, I would throw juice at them.

Tonight we noticed a gentleman slumped over in his car beside us. The car engine was still running, with the lights on. His head was against the steering wheel, and it looked like he wasn't moving at all. First thought was, maybe he was sleeping? But it was hard to see if he was breathing because of all the winter clothes and jacket on him.

At first, we decided to try and honk our horn to see if the gentleman had any reaction. Nope, nothing at all. We became really worried. We didn't know this guy, but if this was life or death, we had to act fast. I got out of the car and knocked really loud on his window. I kept knocking until he finally reacted to it. He rolled down his window, and that's when I asked "Sir, are you ok?!" and his reply was oh yeah, just waiting for somebody.

My goodness, a sense of relief overcame me. I said, ok sir, we just became really worried, but glad that everything is ok. You have a good night sir! And he gave a smile to us.

It's just a depressing thought, if something happened to him on new year's day, and no one was around him. But I'm just really thankful that everything was ok. I do get moments of feeling sleepy when I wait for someone too, but normally people would lean back on their seats to nap, not forward.

Now that winter is officially here, and the cold freezing weather too, please keep an eye out for your family members. Especially the children and elders who are the most vulnerable in cold weather. If you notice someone sitting in the cold, who looks like they need a warm place to stay, direct them to the nearest facility that can offer warmth and shelter. If you notice someone in a car, whether it's running or not, and they look like they're slumped over, give a quick knock on the window to make sure they are ok. Every little action goes a long way for someone, whether it's family or a stranger.

I know, my tone lately has been all over the place. Pissed, sad, depressed, happy and helpful. I guess it's because of what's been happening the past month and a half. I'll just need time to accept.

Anyways, I'll just leave it at that. I haven't done much posting about car stuff lately because I haven't done much to the car (and plus it's winter so nothing too exciting). My next few posts will probably be something about purse buying, and pointers about going from contemporary to premier designers. It is mostly geared towards people who are not in the "super elite" or "ultra rich" groups (or whatever you want to call them) and ways to try out premier brands without going bankrupt. I have only read of one blog that does touch upon it, so I'll also chime in as well on the topic.

Stay tuned.