Not sure how many of you watch that show "The View" (I've watched clips of it on Youtube in the past), but there has been recent controversy about what they said this past week regarding nurses.
On September 14, the 4 ladies at the desk were discussing the Miss America pageant and the various contestants on the show when they stumbled upon Miss Colorado, Kelley Johnson. If you haven't watched the clips that have been circulating all over social media, Kelley came onto stage in her nursing scrubs with a stethoscope around her neck, and talked about nursing and how her patient made an impact on her as a nurse, and what it's like to be a nurse. Each contestant were to showcase their talent in front of the nation, whatever it may be, and Kelley decided to talk about nursing because it's her talent. Nurses all around the globe saluted her for what she said and did.
The View however did not express the same gratitude.
Michelle Collins and Joy Behar, two of the hosts of the show, were hoping for a nice monologue from Kelley but instead thought she was "reading her emails" so to speak. Then Joy asked why she was wearing a "doctor's stethoscope" around her neck. These comments have made nurses and doctors around the world pose with stethoscopes around their necks and have taken over social media websites, to stand up for nurses and what they do.
The View have tried to apologize since the comments were made public, but it was a half hearted apology that many people still do not accept.
I am by no means pissed off by the comments, because I've heard worst things being said about other people. But I am appalled by how in this day and age, there is still the misconception of who doctors and nurses are and what they do. It really affects how the younger generation will choose their career and their interpretation of how doctors and nurses should be. Social media plays such a huge role these days, and if young people are influenced by it, they will start believing what is said is true.
I understand it takes 4 years of undergrad and another 4-5 years of medical school to become a general doctor, and it could take many years to specialize in a field when you become a specialized doctor. It is a very long journey that requires a lot of work, time, knowledge, money, stress..you name it. Nursing generally speaking takes anywhere from 2-4 years (RPN - RN) and a Nurse Practitioner would require another 2-4 years on top of that (Masters is now recommended before another 2 years of NP). When you think about it, it takes 8 years to either become a doctor, or a nurse practitioner. The path is not easy either way.
Yet people still think that nurses are just doctor aids. In reality, nurses are the backbones to the health care system. Nurses are the ones who are by the bedside everyday, assessing the patients first thing at shift change. They are the ones reporting any abnormal findings to the doctors. If nurses really had less knowledge than doctors, they wouldn't be allowed to assess patients in the first place. Why not just hire 8 doctors to run the unit and get rid of the nurses? If all units in the hospitals did that, the hospital would go bankrupt in less than a day.
Doctors and nurses (along with pharmacists, social workers, PT/OT, dieticians etc) all work together as a team for each patient, to make sure their road to recovery is a successful one. No one is trying to climb to the top to succeed as the "hero" for discharging a patient home. No, it's a huge team effort to make one patient's recovery a success story.
As for the "doctor's stethoscope" comment, I can elaborate.
A few years ago while working on the unit, a patient had gone unconscious. Prior to that, he had vomited a huge amount of blood into a basin. He had a history of esophageal varices (enlarged veins in the esophagus leading to the stomach), and based on this, there was a rupture. It becomes an emergency situation. There was no doctor on the unit, so the ICU doctor was called and he came running. I had felt the patient's pulse slowly decreasing in strength and eventually stopped. CPR was initiated but it was found on record to not do CPR, so it was discontinued. The ICU doctor came to assess, but he needed a stethoscope. He didn't bring his. I had mine at that time so I lent him mine. He declared the patient dead. With the "nurse's stethoscope".
Point is, it doesn't matter who has it or wears it. Because both doctors and nurses have stethoscopes for the same reasons, and we work together to assess a patient's condition. It is not for decoration, but it is a symbol of hope, and help. Assessment skills are key to life or death. But in most situations, it is the nurse who is by the patient's side when their condition deteriorates. It is the nurse's job to assess and determine whether further action is required. It is the nurse who is the main communicator to the rest of the team when it comes to patient conditions.
Nurses are more than just a doctor's sidekick. They are also not doctor juniors, or "those who are not smart enough to be a doctor" (my favourite!). They are health care professionals who went to school and have to remember a vast amount of knowledge. On the ward, nurses become the doctors, the pharmacists, the OT/PT, the dieticians, the waitresses, the technicians...all combined into one. It sounds crazy, but I can't tell you how many times a patient has asked me about certain drug interactions, or what food they can or can't eat, when could they start walking again after surgery, and if I could fix their TVs and remotes.
So hat's off to Kelley Johnson. I admire your speech and your wardrobe that night. You are beautiful and talented with a heart of gold, and I give you props for what you do as a nurse. Keep up with the nursing career.
As for the ladies on the View, I'm just saddened that you would still use misconceptions of the health care system to gain an audience and to make it a laughing matter. I hope one day you will see what nurses and doctors really do to save your loved ones, or yourselves. And I hope you will learn from that.
Thursday, September 17, 2015
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
What matters the most?
Yes it's been a while since my last post, but at least it wasn't an 8 year gap between posts har har har. Life is busy when you have a life.
When you meet someone who you have waited for, for a very long time, everything starts to fall into place. It might not make perfect sense (and everything may not make sense in the very beginning), but as time goes on and you look back at how everything fell into place, you start to see a huge plan that was inspired by God above. We may not ever understand why some things happen in life, or why they happen, but know that the Man above can see everything, can feel everything, and can make a huge difference in your life if you truly believe in Him. So I thank God for bringing the good and the bad people into my life. Life has its ups and downs. If it doesn't, you're dead (i.e think of flatline and ECG).
So a topic that came to light was...what matters the most? It's such a broad topic, but in today's society, what matters most is money. Everything is getting more and more expensive. Homes are becoming almost impossible for young professionals to buy. Base car prices have become more expensive, and you get less standard features. You want more? You have to pay to play. Premium designer handbags have also increased in price (if you are a handbag lady). The products are still exactly the same, same materials, same logo. (The real question is: do you really need the best to make you happy?). So what to do when people see all this? I need more money. I need to work more. You spend more and more time away from your family, your spouse, your partner. You are now a work horse, who is on the brink of burning out.
This potentially can lead to infidelity. You see someone at work or near your workplace who works just as hard as you, but flashes their wealth in people's faces. At first you don't think much. You have a loving partner and family who really matters to you. But as you spend more and more time away from home, and start staying later at work to make more money, you are now exposed to your colleagues more than your own family. Your colleagues have now become your biggest influences. You start to see, heyyyy this guy or girl is living the life. I want that in mine. It's all about the excitement and the emotional attachment. One thing leads to another and boom, you just got yourself into some terrible hot boiling water. And I don't mean that in a sexy way. You end up throwing your entire life away for something so temporary, so material and so meaningless, that it could just disappear faster than when you first met up. What for? All for a potential to be with someone who could spoil you with material things, or for a brief moment of excitement, or for emotional support. What people might not know is that person might be doing it to everyone else around them. So it's not just you that he or she is pretending to spoil. Money is the root of all evil (1 Timothy 6:10).
Girls...yes we do have a soft spot for nice things. Nice cars, nice purses, shoes, manicures, clothes. So when a dude rolls up in a Ferrari or Lamborghini, the first thing a girl thinks is "this dude has money". The first thought is never "he seems to be a really genuine nice guy who cares about his loved ones." Girls are suckers for nice fast cars. And the above two are perfect examples of cars that girls know very well. It shows wealth and power, and a potential for gold diggers. So if you're a real smart gentleman, going on a first date with a girl in a low key vehicle is key. It protects yourself from being hurt in the long run. Don't be stupid and bring out a Murcielago, because you are inviting someone you barely know into your bank account. Unless you don't care and want your bank account drained.
I saw a prank video a while ago with some dudes who used a Ferrari 458 Italia to pick up random girls. Whether this was planned ahead of time or not, it shows that girls are suckers for exotic cars. The guys drive up to an area, and start telling random girls that they are bored or whatever, and ask the girls if they want to hang out. Initially they say no, because they are complete strangers. As soon as the guy points to his bright red 458, the girls' reactions change. "Oh is that your car?! Ok sure let's go for a ride!" This was probably meant as a joke, but in reality, stuff like this does happen. Maybe not as direct, but when girls see nice cars, it's just about the bling.
You hear of girls or women who are with wealthy guys, but yet the guys don't treat them well. Sure they get spoiled with gifts and cars and what not, but they don't have that emotional connection at all. Why do they stay? Because money. Because gifts. Don't get me wrong, there are girls who don't care at all about the wealth. But from what society has been shown through media, tv shows, movies, this is the influence. Girls and guys are now being influenced to believe that if you meet someone with wealth, then that's all that matters. You deserve nice gifts by a wealthy man or woman. When you have the mindset of "you deserve all the best material things in the world", it is difficult to turn around and walk away.
So what is the point of all this? It's all about the mindset and priorities in life. If you want to get to know money, then you will spend as much time to get to know money. If you want to get to know a person, you will spend as much time with that person to get to know them.
It's sad how in society today, people are judged based on how much material things they have, not how much care and love a person can provide in a way that cannot be physically measured. You can't measure 5 grams of love, or $100 of hugs and kisses. It shouldn't matter about what they have, what car they drive, what purse they wear or where they got their manicures. What really matters is the connection between two people through common grounds. If you start off with very uneven ground, and try to build a skyscraper on it, it will topple and fall over. You can't build the world's biggest buildings and skyscrapers if you don't start off with the same foundations. In a good relationship, there has to be that common ground. And you both build up from that ground. There will be obstacles along the way, just like if there is a beam that is too short or too big to fit in a particular corner of a building under construction. But you work together to make sure the beam is the right measurement to continue building, and to make a solid foundation so it doesn't topple over. In the end, both of you have built an empire and you celebrate your achievements together.
Another is how you were influenced by those around you. I am fortunate enough to be surrounded by loved ones who could care less about having the great material things in life. We are blessed with basic needs in life: shelter, food and clothes. Everything else that comes is just an "added bonus" so to speak. It's not needed, but it's just an extra thing on the side. When you meet a person who shares the same common foundation as you, that itself is a true blessing. Everything else that comes after, whether it's cars or whatever else, those are just extras. Those are not the main force that should drive two people together.
So ladies, if you ever find yourself being showered with gifts by some guy that you just met and barely know, that's a huge red flag. Please run for your life. Don't look back and don't let those gifts blind you. A real man would not do that. A real man would take time out of his busy day and talk to you to get to know you better through conversation.
Finding "the one" is not like picking out gummy bears in a grocery store. It's freaking hard. The more you think about it, the harder it is to find that person. Eventually that person will walk into your life when you least expect it, and perhaps in ways in which you never imagined. Life is funny sometimes, it's interesting. We will never understand 100% why everything is the way it is, but one thing for sure is trust in God and He will lead your way. And when you look back years later, you will start to see and understand the bigger picture.
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
Random Post Again..
Soooooooo..who is bored and wants to read some random things? Me!
Ok let's start off with some fashion stuff. Some random stuff I was looking up online. I happened to look at Christian Louboutin shoes because they have that cool black and red concept going on. I usually like to wear black (because it makes me look skinnier) and maybe some colour accents so it doesn't look like I'm going to funerals all the time. So I thought, well it would be cool to get a pair of shoes that have black and red on them. Louboutin's came to mind. Of course the price is a bit ridiculous for a pair of heels. Second is, they don't have any style that I like. Some platforms are cool, but I can never pull off the pumps look, because my feet just won't fit in those pointy heels. Thirdly, I will probably trip and fall on my face wearing heels that high. As cool as they look, they probably don't fit my profile.
I don't know how many of you check out the Purse Form, but that place is purse heaven for all the ladies (and maybe some men) out there. I go there to research bags before I buy, especially if it's a premium designer handbag. So props to TPF for being such an informative website. Then there are times when I get bored, I'll surf the forum for random topics being discussed. I still look at Chanel here and there, but knowing the ridiculous price increase, I can only daydream about it. In the meantime, I have plenty of other bags to decide over at home.
The next thing is health care related. One thing that comes to mind is, when you are checking to see if a patient's fistula (or their life line) has finished clotting, make sure you stand off to the side of the patient, and not in front of them. Because blood will come squirting in your face. Not that it happened to my face, but my scrubs got splattered with blood. A fistula is like an artery (even though it's a big vein); every time the heart pumps, blood will squirt out. The first time that it happened to me all these years. So definitely everyday you learn something new. It was definitely a scary moment for everyone. But thankfully the patient was ok.
So this week, I have eaten at Pho about 4 times with 4 different group of friends. I always order the exact same item and the exact same size. It's pretty sad. It shows that I'm not very adventurous with pho food. But damn, that MSG is so good. I know after this, I have to boycott Pho for the next year. Yeah, who am I kidding. I admit, I have a pho-king problem.
Did you know that Hamilton is home to over 100 waterfalls and cascades? If you didn't, you should go do some exploring and hiking. You don't need to travel thousands of miles to see a beautiful view. You can get it locally. But fair warning: wear comfortable clothes, running shoes, bring water, and be prepared to do a lot of hiking and climbing over rocks. But it's so worth it!
I was driving near a mall a while ago, had my windows halfway down, listening to music (not blasting it, but when I listen to songs I like, I tend to go to LALA land), minding my own business when this black Civic sedan pulls up in my blind spot. We are both waiting at a red light by the way. So as I'm quietly jamming to my music, I hear a couple of guy voices. I thought, well I don't remember this song having guys just randomly talking in the background. But I just ignore it. Then the voices got louder. I swear for the life of me, I was mad at my music for messing up. Then I realized it was the guys in the Civic trying to talk to me. Right. So I lowered my music, and look over. They are like, Heyyyyyyyy how's it going? You have a nice ride! I said thanks. Then the driver asks for my number. I looked at the traffic light and said, it's a green light, bye! No offence but 1) I don't give out my number to complete strangers 2) especially at a traffic light and 3) sorry but you look very jailbait to me.
Who gets foot/leg cramps on a daily basis?! I do! Well, maybe not daily but enough to drive me nuts. This is due to cold weather, sleeping in a funny position, or wearing heels that are too high for me or I've been in heels for too long. Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night by bad leg cramps? Yeah it's the most painful thing ever. I've woken up in tears because of it. I blame my stupid stubborn childhood, for not drinking enough milk and not getting enough calcium. Turned to juice and pop, and it just makes everything worse. Sugary drinks and carbonated drinks = no good lah. So yes, I also get bad foot cramps while I drive, hence why I would be terrified to drive stick shift for a very long time. If you ever see me drive with a foot in my lap, it's probably because I'm trying to get rid of my foot cramp. It's not because I have a foot fetish. Then again, safest bet is to just pull over and get rid of the cramp.
Dating and relationships pfft. The topic was briefly brought up lately, and it really set me off in a bad way. Probably due to my past experiences, and people pretending to be your friends when they really aren't. They just talk false things behind your back to other people to make themselves look better. Those people are obviously trapped in high school forever and have some self confidence issues that they blame the entire world for their problems. The older we get, the more immature people get so it seems. Or maybe I'm just looking in the wrong area. Yeah, that's probably it.
CNE is opening this Friday! Who's excited to go?! I know it's the same every year, and admission gets more expensive as the years go by. But I think it's all about the vibe. It's something you can look forward to, to spend time with your family, friends, go on a nice date or something (and if it goes unwell, you can run into the crowds and get lost), and try some funky foods. This year, they have introduced some sort of dessert and poutine mixed together?! I don't know man. Poutine is already freaking awesome by itself. But mixed with some sweet stuff, I don't know. I think foods should either remain sweet or salty, but not a mix of both. I'm not a fan of tasting two different tastes: makes me nauseous. But anyways, I don't go because of the food, but because it's nice to spend a day with people who you care about and vice versa.
Countdown till vacation begins! I can't wait. At the same time it's nerve wrecking because I need to finish my project. To finish the project it's best to take a few days off to work on it, but it's impossible because I work almost everyday. This sucks. The life of a procrastinator.
The more I look at my car, the more I appreciate her. Actually, the more I appreciate God for creating us and giving us the gift of intelligence to make such beauties like cars. I mean there are times that yes, the coupe does make me mad, but it stems from all the experiences of modding her. Otherwise, she ain't that bad at all. She doesn't argue, talk or fight, she sighs by opening the blow off valve, she farts via the exhaust and doesn't care what people think, she's so pretty she turns heads wherever we go but is already taken by me. Yes, now if I can find the guy version of that, it would be awesome. Except the farting part.
Speaking of which, a good friend is in the early stages of creating a car group that will hopefully be enlightening to those who are Christ followers or seeking to know Christ. We shall call it CFC. It's in the early stages of development, and I have met those who are interested. I am proud of what they have come up with, but they definitely thank God for making it possible. Stay tuned as it is in very early stages of development.
Recently I decided to prank my parents. This was after going to the Taste of the Danforth for some food with a friend. We waited in line for this wrap that everyone said is sooo good. Except the line up was sooooo long. By the time I got to the front, I was close to passing out. Probably due to heat, having not eaten for a while, dehydrated, and being in a huge crowd. So anyways, after that near passing out ordeal, my friend saw a painting studio that offered free painting for the night. You basically have to try and copy the painting of whatever painting was displayed. The artist would be there to help guide you on paint strokes and blending. So she dragged me to go paint that flower. This is nerve wrecking, especially when you have crowds passing by and looking. It's intimidating. At the end of the night, my painting looked like a 4 year old did it.
With the prank, I decided to show my mom and ask her how she thought of it. Her reply was that it was very ... nice. And colourful. So I offered random information: I bought it from the Danforth, it was $50, in support of the local artists. That's when she freaked out. $50?! You got jipped! Are you crazy! What a waste of money! Mommy knows how much painting costs and $50 is too much for that! It looks like a child painted it! I had this all on video, so I was trying not to laugh. Eventually I couldn't stop laughing, so I told her I didn't pay for anything. It was free. And I drew it. That's when she said she would hang the painting on the kitchen wall. I said no, I don't want the nieces to see it, and then get embarrassed when they find out auntie painted it. So she said she would put it up in the basement, where no one sees. Thanks mom!
The next day, I asked my dad the same question about the painting. My mom decided to be on this, so we pretended I paid money for it. Except dad went straight to being honest to saying it looked like a child painted it. And it was not worth $50. He wouldn't pay more than $2 for it. My parents are awesome.
Anyways I think that will be it for tonight. Time to have some cereal.
Ok let's start off with some fashion stuff. Some random stuff I was looking up online. I happened to look at Christian Louboutin shoes because they have that cool black and red concept going on. I usually like to wear black (because it makes me look skinnier) and maybe some colour accents so it doesn't look like I'm going to funerals all the time. So I thought, well it would be cool to get a pair of shoes that have black and red on them. Louboutin's came to mind. Of course the price is a bit ridiculous for a pair of heels. Second is, they don't have any style that I like. Some platforms are cool, but I can never pull off the pumps look, because my feet just won't fit in those pointy heels. Thirdly, I will probably trip and fall on my face wearing heels that high. As cool as they look, they probably don't fit my profile.
I don't know how many of you check out the Purse Form, but that place is purse heaven for all the ladies (and maybe some men) out there. I go there to research bags before I buy, especially if it's a premium designer handbag. So props to TPF for being such an informative website. Then there are times when I get bored, I'll surf the forum for random topics being discussed. I still look at Chanel here and there, but knowing the ridiculous price increase, I can only daydream about it. In the meantime, I have plenty of other bags to decide over at home.
The next thing is health care related. One thing that comes to mind is, when you are checking to see if a patient's fistula (or their life line) has finished clotting, make sure you stand off to the side of the patient, and not in front of them. Because blood will come squirting in your face. Not that it happened to my face, but my scrubs got splattered with blood. A fistula is like an artery (even though it's a big vein); every time the heart pumps, blood will squirt out. The first time that it happened to me all these years. So definitely everyday you learn something new. It was definitely a scary moment for everyone. But thankfully the patient was ok.
So this week, I have eaten at Pho about 4 times with 4 different group of friends. I always order the exact same item and the exact same size. It's pretty sad. It shows that I'm not very adventurous with pho food. But damn, that MSG is so good. I know after this, I have to boycott Pho for the next year. Yeah, who am I kidding. I admit, I have a pho-king problem.
Did you know that Hamilton is home to over 100 waterfalls and cascades? If you didn't, you should go do some exploring and hiking. You don't need to travel thousands of miles to see a beautiful view. You can get it locally. But fair warning: wear comfortable clothes, running shoes, bring water, and be prepared to do a lot of hiking and climbing over rocks. But it's so worth it!
I was driving near a mall a while ago, had my windows halfway down, listening to music (not blasting it, but when I listen to songs I like, I tend to go to LALA land), minding my own business when this black Civic sedan pulls up in my blind spot. We are both waiting at a red light by the way. So as I'm quietly jamming to my music, I hear a couple of guy voices. I thought, well I don't remember this song having guys just randomly talking in the background. But I just ignore it. Then the voices got louder. I swear for the life of me, I was mad at my music for messing up. Then I realized it was the guys in the Civic trying to talk to me. Right. So I lowered my music, and look over. They are like, Heyyyyyyyy how's it going? You have a nice ride! I said thanks. Then the driver asks for my number. I looked at the traffic light and said, it's a green light, bye! No offence but 1) I don't give out my number to complete strangers 2) especially at a traffic light and 3) sorry but you look very jailbait to me.
Who gets foot/leg cramps on a daily basis?! I do! Well, maybe not daily but enough to drive me nuts. This is due to cold weather, sleeping in a funny position, or wearing heels that are too high for me or I've been in heels for too long. Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night by bad leg cramps? Yeah it's the most painful thing ever. I've woken up in tears because of it. I blame my stupid stubborn childhood, for not drinking enough milk and not getting enough calcium. Turned to juice and pop, and it just makes everything worse. Sugary drinks and carbonated drinks = no good lah. So yes, I also get bad foot cramps while I drive, hence why I would be terrified to drive stick shift for a very long time. If you ever see me drive with a foot in my lap, it's probably because I'm trying to get rid of my foot cramp. It's not because I have a foot fetish. Then again, safest bet is to just pull over and get rid of the cramp.
Dating and relationships pfft. The topic was briefly brought up lately, and it really set me off in a bad way. Probably due to my past experiences, and people pretending to be your friends when they really aren't. They just talk false things behind your back to other people to make themselves look better. Those people are obviously trapped in high school forever and have some self confidence issues that they blame the entire world for their problems. The older we get, the more immature people get so it seems. Or maybe I'm just looking in the wrong area. Yeah, that's probably it.
CNE is opening this Friday! Who's excited to go?! I know it's the same every year, and admission gets more expensive as the years go by. But I think it's all about the vibe. It's something you can look forward to, to spend time with your family, friends, go on a nice date or something (and if it goes unwell, you can run into the crowds and get lost), and try some funky foods. This year, they have introduced some sort of dessert and poutine mixed together?! I don't know man. Poutine is already freaking awesome by itself. But mixed with some sweet stuff, I don't know. I think foods should either remain sweet or salty, but not a mix of both. I'm not a fan of tasting two different tastes: makes me nauseous. But anyways, I don't go because of the food, but because it's nice to spend a day with people who you care about and vice versa.
Countdown till vacation begins! I can't wait. At the same time it's nerve wrecking because I need to finish my project. To finish the project it's best to take a few days off to work on it, but it's impossible because I work almost everyday. This sucks. The life of a procrastinator.
The more I look at my car, the more I appreciate her. Actually, the more I appreciate God for creating us and giving us the gift of intelligence to make such beauties like cars. I mean there are times that yes, the coupe does make me mad, but it stems from all the experiences of modding her. Otherwise, she ain't that bad at all. She doesn't argue, talk or fight, she sighs by opening the blow off valve, she farts via the exhaust and doesn't care what people think, she's so pretty she turns heads wherever we go but is already taken by me. Yes, now if I can find the guy version of that, it would be awesome. Except the farting part.
Speaking of which, a good friend is in the early stages of creating a car group that will hopefully be enlightening to those who are Christ followers or seeking to know Christ. We shall call it CFC. It's in the early stages of development, and I have met those who are interested. I am proud of what they have come up with, but they definitely thank God for making it possible. Stay tuned as it is in very early stages of development.
Recently I decided to prank my parents. This was after going to the Taste of the Danforth for some food with a friend. We waited in line for this wrap that everyone said is sooo good. Except the line up was sooooo long. By the time I got to the front, I was close to passing out. Probably due to heat, having not eaten for a while, dehydrated, and being in a huge crowd. So anyways, after that near passing out ordeal, my friend saw a painting studio that offered free painting for the night. You basically have to try and copy the painting of whatever painting was displayed. The artist would be there to help guide you on paint strokes and blending. So she dragged me to go paint that flower. This is nerve wrecking, especially when you have crowds passing by and looking. It's intimidating. At the end of the night, my painting looked like a 4 year old did it.
With the prank, I decided to show my mom and ask her how she thought of it. Her reply was that it was very ... nice. And colourful. So I offered random information: I bought it from the Danforth, it was $50, in support of the local artists. That's when she freaked out. $50?! You got jipped! Are you crazy! What a waste of money! Mommy knows how much painting costs and $50 is too much for that! It looks like a child painted it! I had this all on video, so I was trying not to laugh. Eventually I couldn't stop laughing, so I told her I didn't pay for anything. It was free. And I drew it. That's when she said she would hang the painting on the kitchen wall. I said no, I don't want the nieces to see it, and then get embarrassed when they find out auntie painted it. So she said she would put it up in the basement, where no one sees. Thanks mom!
The next day, I asked my dad the same question about the painting. My mom decided to be on this, so we pretended I paid money for it. Except dad went straight to being honest to saying it looked like a child painted it. And it was not worth $50. He wouldn't pay more than $2 for it. My parents are awesome.
Anyways I think that will be it for tonight. Time to have some cereal.
Thursday, August 13, 2015
Break-up Violence
Slight warning: this is a very long read. If you hate reading, you can click the link below and watch the video, or just scroll to the numbers at the bottom. I tend to get carried away with writing when ideas hit my head, and so it becomes a novel.
I've watched quite a bit of the episodes when I have some down time from work and projects. This particular episode called "Loved to Death" really drew me to the topic of dating and breakups because everyone goes through that at least once in their life. This episode reflects on a young couple, recently graduated from high school and taking the next step in their life (college/university) when both their lives were cut short. One was murdered, and the other would spend the rest of their life in jail.
Lauren Astley was an 18 year old graduate from Wayland High School. She was a talented musician and tennis player, and was looking forward to attending Elon University. 19 year old Nathaniel Fujita was a talented football player for Wayland High School and had gotten a football scholarship to attend Trinity College, a childhood dream. Nathaniel was Lauren's first boyfriend.
Lauren was murdered by Nathaniel on July 3, 2011. Because Lauren's family and friends were very tight-knit, her lack of communication between the time she finished work until late in the evening drove everyone to suspicion. Everyone was trying to get a hold of her, and soon her father reported her missing to the police. The following day, her body was found in a shallow marsh by a passerby. A bungee cord was tangled in her hair, and her throat had been cut.
Lauren and Nathaniel had been dating for 3 years when she broke off the relationship a couple of months before she was murdered. Nathaniel turned to drinking and smoking weed as he could not cope with the break-up. He drifted away from friends and family and would not listen to anyone. He was diagnosed with major clinical depression. Finally, it was Nathaniel's mom who suggested to Lauren to talk to him. Lauren, being the caring and kind-hearted person that everyone knew her to be, agreed to try and talk some sense into him, because she still cared about him as a friend. When she visited him at home, he was home alone. She had not told friends she would be dropping by to visit him, so no one knew where she was at that point in time. Little did anyone know, Lauren included, that her act of compassion and concern would drive her to her death.
It didn't take very long for police to get a search warrant for the Fujita house. They found bloodstains from the garage to the kitchen sink. Bungee cords. A mud-stained pair of shoes. And in a small attic opening above Nathaniel's room, they found blood soaked sneakers and clothes. The blood tested positive for Lauren's DNA. He was found at a cousin's house and arrested for murder. He was sentenced to life in prison with no chance of parole in March 2013.
Right after the sentencing, Mr. Astley stood up, in tears, and walked over to Mr. and Mrs. Fujita and gave them a hug. They embraced and cried into each others' arms. This is the part that really got to me, because in murder trials, you normally don't see the victim and suspect's family embracing each other. If you do, it's very rare. It's more or less pointing fingers at each other and hating each other. But in this case, Mr. Astley did the complete opposite, and showed compassion for the Fujitas. He wanted to share his care and compassion with them because he knew they had also lost their son. Both families were shattered in different ways, because none of their kids would be coming home ever again.
According to the American Psychological Association (APA), 1 in 3 Americans between the ages of 14 and 20 report being abused by a partner. In the world of social media, digital abuse is becoming more prominent: 1 in 4 dating teens report being harassed online or through texts by their partners. When we look back to Lauren's situation, he did exhibit some behaviour that were enough to cause some concern. Friends have reported that during their relationship, he would exhibit jealousy. He wouldn't allow her to speak to guys when he was around. He was possessive of her. Her friends didn't like him. That's enough of a big red flag. Shortly after the break up, he had tried to contact her via text and in person to give him a second chance, but she would not agree to it, and told him to leave her alone. Nathaniel did not know how to deal with this. Instead, he killed her because she wouldn't give him what he wanted: to be with her.
A guy who exhibits extreme jealousy is very insecure and is obviously going through some issues. I once dated a guy who was very insecure and was always jealous when a guy friend talked to me. Another guy friend had bought me a gift for Christmas, and he had gotten jealous because he had bought the exact same gift. Except he had gotten me another 50 million gifts as well. Yet that one gift set him off, and he made sure his face showed he wasn't happy. The gift exchange happened at a friend's house, and my friends saw that side of him and did not like what they saw. It's a bit embarrassing because you have to act like a babysitter and say, are you ok? Don't cry. And then deal with a puppy face the rest of the night. It's guilt-driven. It makes you feel like you should acknowledge your partner's feelings, and then blame your friend for buying the gift for you. It's stupid.
It might seem funny at that point, but when I look back at everything, it's really a small part to a bigger problem. I'm no relationship expert, but I do know enough when someone is being emotionally abusive or being manipulative. Emotional abuse is very real. It has been reported that emotional abuse is worse than physical abuse because you don't see the bruises or damage. Emotional abuse destroys one's self esteem and confidence and could take many years to gain back, whereas bruises and broken bones heal from days to months. I don't want to see it that way: abuse is abuse, no matter what it is. They are all serious, and need to be acknowledged because it hurts people in many ways and lingers on for years to come.
Another guy I once dated didn't show the aggressive side until a few months into the relationship (together for over 3 years). At first it was all lovey-dovey. That's the honeymoon phase. But once the introduction to friends started, that's when it got a bit odd. When I wanted to hang out with friends, he would get mad. And say things like "Why are you always hanging out with them and not me?" even though we just hung out a couple days ago. When I invited him to friend events, he would complain and say something negative about my friends, or he would show signs that he wasn't interested in going, and that I should hang out with him. It was a constant battle. I did not want to lose my friends over some boy that could easily walk out of my life. But this was my first "real relationship" so I did whatever I could to make him happy, yet balancing my friends and family as well. Let me tell you, it's tough work. But it becomes tougher when it's a one way street, and not two ways.
I didn't know too much at that point, but I didn't see it as a red flag. I saw it as, oh just a normal behaviour. That's just the way he is, and I should accept people the way they are. And that's the thing with people who get emotionally abused: You are made to believe that everything you do or say is wrong. As years went by, it progressed to something that I wasn't sure if this is what I liked, or if I was happy. Or if this was what I wanted for the rest of my life. You know, when couples get asked by other people "So tell me why you fell in love with this person?", the normal response would be to start listing out everything that you loved about that person, and to do it with conviction. I couldn't. I couldn't find one thing that I loved about him. Now that was a big red flag in my face. And that's when I started to wake up.
It took a few tries to break it off. Because each time I tried, he would say something to lure me back. I was being manipulated and I had no idea. Things would be ok for a while, and then an argument would ensue all over again. It was a deadly cycle. Deep down I knew what I had to do, but when I encountered the situation, I was told I'm weak, it's my fault. I should be the one mending things. Nothing is ever his fault. This is all my problem. If I break it off, I would never find anyone like him again. Damn straight, I don't ever want to deal with an emotional abuser ever again!
The break up part is always the most difficult because both sides have invested a lot of time into a relationship, and when things don't work out, then it just doesn't work out. You're incompatible. We were incompatible from the beginning, yet there was still some hope that things would work. But if you're incompatible from the beginning, it's best to not start anything. If you just break it off, earlier the better. But I can tell you, it's easier said than done.
In this particular break up, I knew it would be a bad idea to go to his house and do it alone. It would just be bad face to face. He had a bad temper, and it's either his way or the highway. I was not sure what he was capable of doing, and I did not want to find out. I certainly wanted to be alive after I broke up. So I invited a girl friend to my house and told her my plan. I was going to do it via the phone. Normally I wouldn't break up with people over the phone. I always told myself that's the chicken way out. But it really depends on the situation. If you're dealing with an abuser, you want very little contact with that person. We had to discuss and plan everything out on paper to remind me. When I made the phone call, I don't remember what I said, but what I do remember is him trying to manipulate me once again. Guilt trip me, make me feel like I'm the one who was at fault for everything. My girl friend was by my side listening in, and writing notes, circling everything on the paper, and telling me to not cave in.
This was someone who supposedly cared for me, yet he would say mean things during our time together. The list below forms a variety of emotional abuse (verbal, rejection, put downs, being afraid, isolation, controlling money, bullying):
-You would be prettier with some make up on.
-Your mom's a bitch. And your brother's crazy.
-Your friend (so and so) wastes so much money. Why do you even bother hanging out with him/her? Such a bad influence.
-Your friend (so and so) is so annoying. I can't stand being around her.
-You can give me back my keys, and you can go f*ck yourself.
-Oh, look at her boobs. *every time we walked by a billboard promoting a woman and her bra*
-A boob job costs only this much. I would totally pay for it if you wanted one (excuse me, are you trying to imply something?!)
-Your religion is crazy. This is why I don't like going out with religious people.
-Why are you so weird?
-F*ck off
-When he tells me how to manage MY money.
-Being afraid to talk about something, for the fear of being yelled at or ridiculed because it happened before on various occasions.
If you ever experience stuff like that being said to you by your partner, those are NOT normal things. Get yourself out of that situation. Get help. When it comes to the break up point, don't do it alone. Always have a back up with you in cases of emergencies.
There are different ways to end a relationship, but one thing I do recommend people do, is to NOT go to one's house alone, when no one else is there. Let's go back to Lauren's case. If she had at least told her friends she was going there, and to have them as back up, she may have well still be alive today. Or if she had met him in a public place, with her friends around just to be safe. Then again, no one expected this to happen. I believe Lauren did not tell her friends where she was going that night because 1) she didn't want them to worry, 2) she didn't want backlash from them, 3) she figured she can help him become a better person if she saw him one to one because he still cared and trusted her. And this is how compassionate people think. They don't want to cause trouble or worry amongst friends and family, and figured things will be solved if it's a one to one session. The last thing on one's mind is to think about being killed.
I believe the emotional abuse and manipulation all stems from too many differences between a couple. When a couple is not on the same track in life, have very different goals in life or being chronic liars, always getting into arguments and never a proper solution, it will bring one side to become abusive. Once it becomes very abusive, it becomes difficult for the abused to leave the relationship. When you start to hear the negative words said to you every single day, you eventually become used to it and think it's normal. So you shrug it off. But it isn't normal. Eventually, all that negativity will start eating at you from the inside and tear you apart. One little argument can explode, and that's when things can become dangerous. There have been many cases where the partner has absorbed so much abuse, that they act out and kill their partners. Then they get sent to jail for life. It's not always the abuser that can murder, but the abused if they hit the point of no return. It's very sad.
After Lauren's case, her family and friends founded the Lauren Dunne Astley Memorial Fund, to raise awareness of breakup violence, and to also live out her legacy. Elon University also held a memorial for her in May during the graduation ceremony for the Class of 2015: to recognize one of their fallen. Lauren would have graduated university this year.
For more information about the organization, visit Lauren Astley Memorial Fund
Rest in peace beautiful lady.
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So what have I learned and what are some key things to absorb?
1) Don't ever rush yourself into any relationship. Who cares if all your friends have girlfriends or boyfriends, or are getting married and having kids? Be happy for them that they found their match. But don't ever rush yourself to be with someone just so you can tell people you're with someone. It's better to be single for the rest of your life, than be with the wrong person and be miserable for the rest of your life.
2) Relationships take A LOT of work. It's not just about having the status of a boyfriend or girlfriend. It's involving all your emotions, time, commitment, money, family, friends, career. Everything.
3) If you see many differences from the very beginning of a relationship with a person, or you are not compatible with each other, it's best to not even start a long-term relationship with that person. You're wasting your time, and you're also wasting that person's time.
4) Don't ever think you can change someone completely when you start dating them, because they won't ever change. They are who they are. So if you don't like them the first time you're with them, don't even think about trying to change them because it won't happen. They will change only if they want to change.
5) Manipulation and guilt-tripping is not normal in a relationship. As soon as you sense that, don't ever think you're crazy because you're not. Trust your gut feeling. Hurtful words and guilt-trips will NOT make you a better person. They will destroy you completely.
6) When a partner tells you that if you guys break up, they would commit suicide. And this is in the very beginning when you first date. Yeah, that's a sign you should RUN FAST.
7) It has been said to observe how your potential partner treats their family and friends (AND also your family and friends). If they treat them like crap, don't expect him/her to treat you like an angel. It can range from how they speak to each other, to how they treat each other and how they all deal with various situations. If they are always angry, violent and swearing a lot, that's not a good sign. If they are always quiet and never talk to anyone, or isolate themselves or have no friends, that's also another red flag.
8) It is normal for one to feel jealous here and there, but jealousy that involves giving people death stares whenever they look at your spouse, and become threatening is not normal. One that doesn't allow you to have friends of the opposite-sex is a huge red flag. If someone looked at my partner, I wouldn't take a knife and poke them in the eye. I would be proud of my man, and I'd show him off proudly. That's how men should react. Be proud of your woman and embrace her, but don't look at them as an object or trophy wife. And definitely don't start fights with random people off the streets. Huge no-no. That would be a pre-requisite to hitting your partner in the face later on.
9) If you ever go through a bad break-up (or any break-up for that matter), NEVER meet the person at their place or yours alone. I definitely recommend meeting in a public place, or have your friends nearby. If you can, drive your own car. Don't let them pick you up. Or ask a friend to drop you off and have them on standby. If it's really bad, just do it over the phone. Don't ever accept meeting in a secluded area to "have a peaceful talk". Always think the worst case scenario because your mind will be on guard. It doesn't matter if that person's an angel during the relationship. It has come to the break up point, and I'm pretty sure the angelic side won't be showing.
10) Don't ever take your friends for granted. Good friends are hard to come by and take years to develop. Embrace and honour them, because they will be there for you through thick and thin. They may not like that you're suffering through a bad relationship or bad break up, but they will always be there to support you. So be honest to them and tell them you need their guidance and help. There is no need to feel embarrassed in asking for help.
11) Don't take your family for granted. Parents are always annoying and always nag when they don't like your girlfriend or boyfriend, but they can see everything. They do it because they care. Yes, you need to live life and experience heartbreaks yourself, but it's crazy how smart parents are. In the end, they care about you and just want the best for their kids.
There was a case where a girl and her mom were very close (the dad had died when the girl was young). They were inseparable. The girl eventually met an older guy who wooed her. She felt happy and introduced him to mom. The mom had no issue with him until one day he was invited over for dinner, and they were having a conversation when the guy did not agree about something, and he slammed his fist on the table. That's when the mom felt concerned for her daughter and tried to tell her to break it off with him. The girl wouldn't listen. The more she hung out with the guy, the more she was influenced that her mom was the bad person. They came up with a plan to kill her, and that's what happened. The guy had told her to do it, and he would be the getaway driver. In trial, the guy denied being involved and said it was the girl's idea. They were both convicted of murder and sentenced to life imprisonment with no chance of parole. Now she has no parents, and the guy she supposedly fell in love with manipulated her and set her up for murder. She will spend the rest of her life in prison thinking about what she did.
If you are going through emotional, physical, or sexual abuse in a relationship, you need to seek immediate professional help, or confide in a very good friend about the situation. It's not an easy thing to do, but I can tell you there is nothing wrong in confiding or asking for help. You are doing it for yourself and for your own well-being. Remember that all those negative words don't make you a better person. They will destroy you over time. And once it destroys you, it becomes very hard to get back your old self. You need to get away from the source of the abuse. Stay at a friend or family member's house. Do not tell the abuser the whereabouts of yourself. Some abusers, depending how unstable they are, will start to stalk and make threats to everyone to find out the whereabouts of their spouse. When it escalates to that point, authorities need to be called. Do not wait. Threats like that need to be taken seriously.
If you know of a friend or family member who is in an abusive relationship, you need to reach out to them. Let them know that you're there to help. They may refuse or deny that there is a problem, but if the signs are clearly there, they need professional help. Even giving them a contact for professional help works as well. But also telling them you as a friend are there for support, it helps them as well. They may not see it right away (it can take years before they finally realize they're being abused), but when it comes to leaving the abusive relationship, they will know that you were with them all along for support. And that's what good friends and family do.
Wednesday, August 05, 2015
Workplace Violence
In early July of this year, there was an article published in the Toronto Star regarding nurses and the violence they experience at work. According to the study, there has been an increase in reporting assaults, whether they are physical/sexual/verbal abuse.
The link:
Workplace Violence - Nursing
Now I've heard from plenty of people who say nursing is an awesome job with great pay and benefits, and secure because nurses are needed everywhere. Especially with the Baby Boomers heading for retirement, this will open up plenty of opportunities for young new grads. However, schools fail to really explore the dangers of being a front line staff worker. A lot of young people are exposed to the superficial aspect of nursing, but do not know the emotional, physical and mental involvement in becoming a nurse. Plus, the violence that could occur while working.
People have told me that it's normal to experience violence in the workplace because of what I do. No, it's not normal. Any workplace should be free of violence. There should not be any workplace that tolerates violence or encourages it. Personally, I have been scratched, kicked, spat on, sworn at, threatened, grabbed and bitten by people that I was trying to take care of.
This is still an on-going issue and continuous battle that all nurses face in the workplace. Just recently, a patient had sucker punched my co-worker right in the eye, because 1) he was tired and 2) he had a headache and didn't like the nurse talking to him. The third I may add, there was a bit of cognitive impairment/delay. But does it make it right to punch someone? No, of course not. Especially when that someone is trying to help you. Some first aid was required, and security was called to escort the patient back to his room. Notifying the management and writing up an incident report was done. But yet this still occurs on various units. We may blame the illness for making the person act that certain way, but really, it isn't fair to the health care workers if we aren't protected by the workplace.
The fact that violence is escalating brings up a huge red flag. Something is obviously very wrong with the entire system if nurses are getting constantly assaulted, injured, and then having to take time off work. If only nurses could punch back when they get injured, that would make it fair. But they can't. They are the ones who keep the system together, who help take care of patients from their sickest to recovery stage. As soon as a nurse punches someone, there goes the trust in nurses. In the end, no matter how much abuse a nurse experiences, they have to suck it up and deal with it. Is it right? I don't think it is. But it's not like you can rewind and erase the event. The union can only do so much, and it would require constant complaints until something happens.
Nursing schools barely touch on workplace violence, and if they did, it was only brief. They say one or two sentences that sound easy to say when they give a scenario. But until you are faced with that situation in real life, that one sentence they teach you to say may be useless. They should have included some self defence class in nursing school. I didn't learn about that until I started work. I thought it was kind of ridiculous that they would teach that, because they never mentioned much in school. Just a bunch of theory that I would never use in real life. But then I saw patients becoming increasingly violent towards the very people that are trying to help them. And then I understood why they needed to teach this course to all health care workers. I actually commend them for introducing the course to all staff before they start working.
Sometimes people let their guard down because hey, we see the patients and say, poor them. They are so weak, I have to help them. Let me tell you, looks are deceiving. The first time I worked in a lock down unit, I saw someone who looked like they needed help to dress for the morning. It was a tiny old woman. As I helped her, she was compliant and friendly. As soon as I bent down to put on her shoes, she gave a swift kick to my chest. I fell backwards, and had the wind knocked out of me. Now I understand that expression "I got the wind knocked out of me" because literally, that's what happened. Thankfully another nurse was nearby and assisted me and got this patient dressed. We had to remind the little old lady that kicking people was not allowed. You may think it's just a slap on the wrist, and it really is. Documentation is obviously necessary. But that's it. I can't deny her food or the washroom to punish her because that would just be inhumane.
Sexual abuse and violence also occurs quite frequently in health care. I remember while working as a student, I did a lot of night shifts on my days off school. I had a 12 hour night shift on one of the units, and nurses had warned me about the patient I was looking after for the night. He had made sexual comments to all the workers that were taking care of him. So they gave me a head's up. He seemed alright when I first saw him. His family came to visit and stay with him and he seemed calm. As soon as they left, that's when all the craziness happened. The attempts to climb out of bed, and the punching. Not only that, but if you were a female, he would try to grab the chest. The first time he tried to do that, I backed off. I remember telling myself, this was going to be a long-ass night, and a very brutal one. They teach you to say stuff like "that is inappropriate sir. Please don't do that again" in school, but when you are thrown into real life situations like this, that sentence doesn't mean jack. Now you might think, why not chemical restraints? Maybe some Propofol or Ativan. The whole point of having a sitter at night is to not use chemical restraints. However, it will be necessary if they go violent all night. I don't remember if he had anything to help him calm down. But I do remember half the night he was trying to climb out of bed. And it was my job to prevent him from falling out of bed. It was difficult already, but to have someone try to sexual abuse you while you try to help them, it takes guts. Giving him a shower in the morning was difficult because it requires you to be close to them. I had to stand about 5 feet away to prevent being grabbed. When the 12 hours had passed, I was thankful to be out of there, but felt sorry for the workers who had to deal with him for the rest of the day.
Abuse occurs in all aspects of nursing, predominantly in mental health. In January 2014, a nurse working for CAMH was brutally beaten by a patient, to the point he was unrecognizable. CAMH was charged, and so was the patient, for assault. The nurse could not return to work because of the injuries sustained. And yet I hear people say, well it's mental health. It's expected and normal for people to beat other people up because they're messed up in the head. No, it's not normal in ANY aspect. Just because they have an illness, it doesn't make it right in any way to go beating people up. No one should be afraid to go to work, and no one should expect to get beaten up at work.
Emergency rooms deal with a lot of violence towards staff. The crazy wait times, the delay in getting an answer fast. I think in this society of constant social media, exposure to violence in movies and being so self centred, our patience runs out pretty quick. If we don't get the answer fast, or the answer we want to hear, the first thing we do is resort to violence and try to hit something. That something is unfortunately the nurse at times. People don't realize that the doctors and nurses in the ER are probably running 12-16 hours (or maybe even more) on a regular day, dealing with many patients, and probably missing their dinner and bathroom breaks, because they want to get you the answers as soon as possible. You might peek around and see them sitting down and chatting, while you're waiting for results and getting pissed off, but what you haven't seen is the previous 10 hours of them running around. That could've been the only time they got to sit down for a few minutes to catch their breaths. So, take it easy. We know you're in pain and we hate to see you in pain. But please don't take out your anger on the people that are trying to help you. Punching them will not help either because you just knocked out 1 staff out of 10. And you just made them short staffed, which means a delay in reporting your results.
I don't want to scare potential future health care workers out there, but there are the goods and bads. They both have to be laid out on the table for you to decide whether it's the right career path for you. There are a lot of stuff that schools don't teach the young ones about what to expect in the real world. A lot of those will come with experience, but hopefully in a safe environment.
Workplace violence should be discussed more in schools. If they are to prepare future generations of front line workers, they should reduce the amount of useless theories taught in all 4 years of the program, and start introducing a course in workplace violence, including a self defence course. It's not to imply you get to beat people up, but it's to protect yourself, and also prevents the patient from harming others. They need to also touch base on the impact of mental, emotional, physical and sexual abuse on health care workers. It has become more prevalent and needs to be addressed. They need to stop showing the superficial stuff of nursing, and start emphasizing a pandemic that's hitting hospitals across the nation.
The link:
Workplace Violence - Nursing
Now I've heard from plenty of people who say nursing is an awesome job with great pay and benefits, and secure because nurses are needed everywhere. Especially with the Baby Boomers heading for retirement, this will open up plenty of opportunities for young new grads. However, schools fail to really explore the dangers of being a front line staff worker. A lot of young people are exposed to the superficial aspect of nursing, but do not know the emotional, physical and mental involvement in becoming a nurse. Plus, the violence that could occur while working.
People have told me that it's normal to experience violence in the workplace because of what I do. No, it's not normal. Any workplace should be free of violence. There should not be any workplace that tolerates violence or encourages it. Personally, I have been scratched, kicked, spat on, sworn at, threatened, grabbed and bitten by people that I was trying to take care of.
This is still an on-going issue and continuous battle that all nurses face in the workplace. Just recently, a patient had sucker punched my co-worker right in the eye, because 1) he was tired and 2) he had a headache and didn't like the nurse talking to him. The third I may add, there was a bit of cognitive impairment/delay. But does it make it right to punch someone? No, of course not. Especially when that someone is trying to help you. Some first aid was required, and security was called to escort the patient back to his room. Notifying the management and writing up an incident report was done. But yet this still occurs on various units. We may blame the illness for making the person act that certain way, but really, it isn't fair to the health care workers if we aren't protected by the workplace.
The fact that violence is escalating brings up a huge red flag. Something is obviously very wrong with the entire system if nurses are getting constantly assaulted, injured, and then having to take time off work. If only nurses could punch back when they get injured, that would make it fair. But they can't. They are the ones who keep the system together, who help take care of patients from their sickest to recovery stage. As soon as a nurse punches someone, there goes the trust in nurses. In the end, no matter how much abuse a nurse experiences, they have to suck it up and deal with it. Is it right? I don't think it is. But it's not like you can rewind and erase the event. The union can only do so much, and it would require constant complaints until something happens.
Nursing schools barely touch on workplace violence, and if they did, it was only brief. They say one or two sentences that sound easy to say when they give a scenario. But until you are faced with that situation in real life, that one sentence they teach you to say may be useless. They should have included some self defence class in nursing school. I didn't learn about that until I started work. I thought it was kind of ridiculous that they would teach that, because they never mentioned much in school. Just a bunch of theory that I would never use in real life. But then I saw patients becoming increasingly violent towards the very people that are trying to help them. And then I understood why they needed to teach this course to all health care workers. I actually commend them for introducing the course to all staff before they start working.
Sometimes people let their guard down because hey, we see the patients and say, poor them. They are so weak, I have to help them. Let me tell you, looks are deceiving. The first time I worked in a lock down unit, I saw someone who looked like they needed help to dress for the morning. It was a tiny old woman. As I helped her, she was compliant and friendly. As soon as I bent down to put on her shoes, she gave a swift kick to my chest. I fell backwards, and had the wind knocked out of me. Now I understand that expression "I got the wind knocked out of me" because literally, that's what happened. Thankfully another nurse was nearby and assisted me and got this patient dressed. We had to remind the little old lady that kicking people was not allowed. You may think it's just a slap on the wrist, and it really is. Documentation is obviously necessary. But that's it. I can't deny her food or the washroom to punish her because that would just be inhumane.
Sexual abuse and violence also occurs quite frequently in health care. I remember while working as a student, I did a lot of night shifts on my days off school. I had a 12 hour night shift on one of the units, and nurses had warned me about the patient I was looking after for the night. He had made sexual comments to all the workers that were taking care of him. So they gave me a head's up. He seemed alright when I first saw him. His family came to visit and stay with him and he seemed calm. As soon as they left, that's when all the craziness happened. The attempts to climb out of bed, and the punching. Not only that, but if you were a female, he would try to grab the chest. The first time he tried to do that, I backed off. I remember telling myself, this was going to be a long-ass night, and a very brutal one. They teach you to say stuff like "that is inappropriate sir. Please don't do that again" in school, but when you are thrown into real life situations like this, that sentence doesn't mean jack. Now you might think, why not chemical restraints? Maybe some Propofol or Ativan. The whole point of having a sitter at night is to not use chemical restraints. However, it will be necessary if they go violent all night. I don't remember if he had anything to help him calm down. But I do remember half the night he was trying to climb out of bed. And it was my job to prevent him from falling out of bed. It was difficult already, but to have someone try to sexual abuse you while you try to help them, it takes guts. Giving him a shower in the morning was difficult because it requires you to be close to them. I had to stand about 5 feet away to prevent being grabbed. When the 12 hours had passed, I was thankful to be out of there, but felt sorry for the workers who had to deal with him for the rest of the day.
Abuse occurs in all aspects of nursing, predominantly in mental health. In January 2014, a nurse working for CAMH was brutally beaten by a patient, to the point he was unrecognizable. CAMH was charged, and so was the patient, for assault. The nurse could not return to work because of the injuries sustained. And yet I hear people say, well it's mental health. It's expected and normal for people to beat other people up because they're messed up in the head. No, it's not normal in ANY aspect. Just because they have an illness, it doesn't make it right in any way to go beating people up. No one should be afraid to go to work, and no one should expect to get beaten up at work.
Emergency rooms deal with a lot of violence towards staff. The crazy wait times, the delay in getting an answer fast. I think in this society of constant social media, exposure to violence in movies and being so self centred, our patience runs out pretty quick. If we don't get the answer fast, or the answer we want to hear, the first thing we do is resort to violence and try to hit something. That something is unfortunately the nurse at times. People don't realize that the doctors and nurses in the ER are probably running 12-16 hours (or maybe even more) on a regular day, dealing with many patients, and probably missing their dinner and bathroom breaks, because they want to get you the answers as soon as possible. You might peek around and see them sitting down and chatting, while you're waiting for results and getting pissed off, but what you haven't seen is the previous 10 hours of them running around. That could've been the only time they got to sit down for a few minutes to catch their breaths. So, take it easy. We know you're in pain and we hate to see you in pain. But please don't take out your anger on the people that are trying to help you. Punching them will not help either because you just knocked out 1 staff out of 10. And you just made them short staffed, which means a delay in reporting your results.
I don't want to scare potential future health care workers out there, but there are the goods and bads. They both have to be laid out on the table for you to decide whether it's the right career path for you. There are a lot of stuff that schools don't teach the young ones about what to expect in the real world. A lot of those will come with experience, but hopefully in a safe environment.
Workplace violence should be discussed more in schools. If they are to prepare future generations of front line workers, they should reduce the amount of useless theories taught in all 4 years of the program, and start introducing a course in workplace violence, including a self defence course. It's not to imply you get to beat people up, but it's to protect yourself, and also prevents the patient from harming others. They need to also touch base on the impact of mental, emotional, physical and sexual abuse on health care workers. It has become more prevalent and needs to be addressed. They need to stop showing the superficial stuff of nursing, and start emphasizing a pandemic that's hitting hospitals across the nation.
Thursday, July 30, 2015
Prada Saffiano Double Zip Tote
Here is the unveiling of the new bag I have purchased, specifically for my conference happening this fall. Yes, I know it's still quite a bit of time away. However, with brands like Prada, Chanel etc., they do increase their prices near the fall. I also noticed there was a $30 increase since last month. So I decided to get it now before prices skyrocket like the stupid housing market in Toronto.
So the information below:
Name: Saffiano Double Zip Tote (medium), or Galleria
Number: BN2274
Material: Saffiano Lux Leather
Colour: Peonia (or Peony Pink)
Size: 33cm (Length) x 23.5cm (Height) x 14.5cm (Width); 14" (Length) x 10" (Height) x 6" (Width).
The Double Zip comes in 4 different sizes: Mini, small, medium, large.
Addition: Comes with a detachable shoulder strap
The Double Zip Tote, being one of Prada's classic lines and the most popular one, comes in 12 different colours as of today (July 2015).
Shopping Bag:
Unfortunately the Prada store did not have a huge shopping bag to fit my box. So they used a Holt Renfrew big pink bag to store my box, as you saw in the previous post.
Display/Storage Box:
The box it comes in is not in saffiano leather. But it is a heavy duty cardboard-like box that protects the bag inside. I was not happy this time around because the SA (Richard) did not stuff the box with tissue paper or have any nice wrapping. Instead, it was just the dustbag containing the purse. So during travel, the bag would have shifted. Not happy, especially after paying a premium price. I didn't know until I got home, so it was too late to complain.
As you can tell from above, the box is big. Even Stitch agrees.
Dust Bag:
Yes, all Prada bags should come with a dust bag. It's the same dust bag in white (like cotton) with leather straps to close.
Exterior:
Just like the BL0837 model, the leather material is saffiano. It is more durable, easier to clean and scratch resistant. It comes in gold hardware (and only gold hardware), with 2 leather handles to carry by the hand or arm. There are 2 snap closures on each side of the bag (in cases where you want to put a lot of stuff and need more room). Once again, this model does come with detachable shoulder straps for over the shoulder wear or cross body. People have said the cross body look doesn't work too well with the medium or large size tote as it doesn't look proportional to the body.
The shoulder strap also comes with its own bag. Pretty cute!
The shoulder straps can be attached to the inside of the bag as shown above. The "D" ring is located just across from the snap closures.
Bottom's Up:
Because of the structure of this bag, feet are a must. It really helps when you have to put your bag down for whatever reason, and to not have it topple over. So there are feet. 4 golden feet, with Prada embossed on it.
Keychain Ring Holder:
So just like the Top Handle bag, this bag does come with a keyring holder. I have not unwrapped it yet, but it's basically the same thing except in pink. You can choose to remove it completely (which I have) or put it in the slit shown in the main picture, but I find it tacky. I'm not a fan of the slit, but I can't do anything about it. I would prefer it to be solid with no slit. And just remove the keyring if I don't want it to dangle on the outside.
Interior:
The interior pockets are made of leather, along with nylon material with Prada all over it. Some people don't like the nylon part as it makes the bag look cheap and boring. Especially for the price you pay, people would have expected more. But I don't really mind it. Besides, who looks into the bag anyways? Besides yourself? Exactly.
This bag is very roomy. It's insane but I like it. There are 2 outside pockets with zip closures (here you can put your wallet, papers for work or something), 1 zip closure inside pocket, and 3 open pockets to put your cell phone or lipstick or pens.
Now how much can you fit? Below are a few shots of my random stuff that I just decided to throw in to see how much you can really fit. I have a 13" MacBook Pro and it fits inside. Only problem is the 2 snap closures have to be open. If you have an Ipad or Ipad mini, there is no problem fitting those in. You can have the 2 snap closures together.
Authenticity Card:
This bag does come with a card, and is stamped by the store when you buy it. In this case:
Final Thoughts:
I have not used this bag yet (ok, maybe once to dinner) but I can say that it's already a heavy bag due to the leather material. However, it's an eye-catcher because it's pink. I think people stare because it's either so hideously pink, or because it's a Prada. I'm not sure. If you are looking for something more classic, aim for a Nero or Cameo colour, or even Grey, or Cornflower Blue. Those are the more classic colours and can match your wardrobe, whatever it may be. If you want to be very girly, go for pink. But choice of wardrobe colour would be limited, because it's not like you can wear a yellow or lime green dress, and wear a pink bag. However, if you like very colourful things, then nothing is stopping you from doing that.
The Good:
So the information below:
Name: Saffiano Double Zip Tote (medium), or Galleria
Number: BN2274
Material: Saffiano Lux Leather
Colour: Peonia (or Peony Pink)
Size: 33cm (Length) x 23.5cm (Height) x 14.5cm (Width); 14" (Length) x 10" (Height) x 6" (Width).
The Double Zip comes in 4 different sizes: Mini, small, medium, large.
Addition: Comes with a detachable shoulder strap
The Double Zip Tote, being one of Prada's classic lines and the most popular one, comes in 12 different colours as of today (July 2015).
Shopping Bag:
Unfortunately the Prada store did not have a huge shopping bag to fit my box. So they used a Holt Renfrew big pink bag to store my box, as you saw in the previous post.
Display/Storage Box:
The box it comes in is not in saffiano leather. But it is a heavy duty cardboard-like box that protects the bag inside. I was not happy this time around because the SA (Richard) did not stuff the box with tissue paper or have any nice wrapping. Instead, it was just the dustbag containing the purse. So during travel, the bag would have shifted. Not happy, especially after paying a premium price. I didn't know until I got home, so it was too late to complain.
Dust Bag:
Yes, all Prada bags should come with a dust bag. It's the same dust bag in white (like cotton) with leather straps to close.
Exterior:
Just like the BL0837 model, the leather material is saffiano. It is more durable, easier to clean and scratch resistant. It comes in gold hardware (and only gold hardware), with 2 leather handles to carry by the hand or arm. There are 2 snap closures on each side of the bag (in cases where you want to put a lot of stuff and need more room). Once again, this model does come with detachable shoulder straps for over the shoulder wear or cross body. People have said the cross body look doesn't work too well with the medium or large size tote as it doesn't look proportional to the body.
Bottom's Up:
Because of the structure of this bag, feet are a must. It really helps when you have to put your bag down for whatever reason, and to not have it topple over. So there are feet. 4 golden feet, with Prada embossed on it.
Keychain Ring Holder:
So just like the Top Handle bag, this bag does come with a keyring holder. I have not unwrapped it yet, but it's basically the same thing except in pink. You can choose to remove it completely (which I have) or put it in the slit shown in the main picture, but I find it tacky. I'm not a fan of the slit, but I can't do anything about it. I would prefer it to be solid with no slit. And just remove the keyring if I don't want it to dangle on the outside.
Interior:
The interior pockets are made of leather, along with nylon material with Prada all over it. Some people don't like the nylon part as it makes the bag look cheap and boring. Especially for the price you pay, people would have expected more. But I don't really mind it. Besides, who looks into the bag anyways? Besides yourself? Exactly.
This bag is very roomy. It's insane but I like it. There are 2 outside pockets with zip closures (here you can put your wallet, papers for work or something), 1 zip closure inside pocket, and 3 open pockets to put your cell phone or lipstick or pens.
Now how much can you fit? Below are a few shots of my random stuff that I just decided to throw in to see how much you can really fit. I have a 13" MacBook Pro and it fits inside. Only problem is the 2 snap closures have to be open. If you have an Ipad or Ipad mini, there is no problem fitting those in. You can have the 2 snap closures together.
Authenticity Card:
This bag does come with a card, and is stamped by the store when you buy it. In this case:
Final Thoughts:
I have not used this bag yet (ok, maybe once to dinner) but I can say that it's already a heavy bag due to the leather material. However, it's an eye-catcher because it's pink. I think people stare because it's either so hideously pink, or because it's a Prada. I'm not sure. If you are looking for something more classic, aim for a Nero or Cameo colour, or even Grey, or Cornflower Blue. Those are the more classic colours and can match your wardrobe, whatever it may be. If you want to be very girly, go for pink. But choice of wardrobe colour would be limited, because it's not like you can wear a yellow or lime green dress, and wear a pink bag. However, if you like very colourful things, then nothing is stopping you from doing that.
The Good:
-Structured purse
-Material is very durable
-The option of removing shoulder straps
-Lots of compartments!
-Very, very roomy
-It has feet
The Bad:
-Premium price....just keeps going up. Just keeps going and going and going and going...
-It's already heavy while empty
-Shoulder strap could be a little wider
-Zippers take some time to break in. They are stiff in the beginning. I had to ask the SA to wax the zippers because I could not open the outside zippers. After the wax, it made a world of difference. Now it's easy to unzip and zip up.
Lastly, here is a comparison shot of the Top Handle Promenade and the Double Zip Tote (both in medium size), side by side:
Thanks for reading! Hope the pink did not blind your eyes.
Monday, July 27, 2015
It has arrived....!
Dun dun duuuuuuuuun!
Chilling in the trunk. Thought it would be too big but just made it.
A shot next to her neighbours.
Revealed! Well, sort of.
So the bag has officially arrived. Shout-out to Amanda the SA for helping me find one in the colour I want. Unfortunately I was not able to catch her while I went to pick up the bag, but Richard was able to help me retrieve it.
So here's the thing. I took my sweet time doing inspections on all aspects of the bag. I was probably in the store for a good 45 minutes inspecting and debating with myself before I finally made a decision. The bag was in great condition (i.e no leather peeling, no scratched hardware, no ripped nylon inside etc) but one thing that did bug me was a tiny piece of stitching had stuck out at the bottom. And that the zippers were a bit tough to open and close. But that issue was solved with some wax (yes, they use wax to help glide the zipper more smoothly).
I had a few choices. Either I stick with this and buy it, or I ask another location to ship me another one. Thing is, I'm not sure if it's a high end store thing or not, but if they see one store already has a bag of that model in that particular colour, they won't ship it out from the Bloor flagship store to another store. So this one was already shipped from the flagship store because the Yorkdale location didn't have it. Now that Yorkdale has it, the Bloor location won't ship a second one unless the first one was sold. I'm not sure if it's that reason, or maybe they will wonder why they have to ship 2 of the same colours in less than a week to the same store. Either way, it was my choice to wait or just buy it.
I am also told this particular colour is limited in this size (as of today, there are only 3 in Canada. Not sure how true that is). I'm pretty sure it's just their tactic move on selling their items because this particular bag is one of their most popular lines. But I can understand maybe why the colour is not a popular choice, because people go for the more neutral look, like Cameo or Nero. So the colour I picked is obviously not a popular one. Plus, the one at the flagship location was a floor model. The one that was shipped to Yorkdale was not, as everything was still wrapped.
Here I go, back to inspection. I managed to push the stitch back into the crease at the bottom so it's no longer an eye sore. It was not ripped or broken. Just a small loose loop. The bag won't break because of it, but it's hard to find the perfect "handmade" bag and not find any flaws. Maybe some guy's hand shook while stitching and made one stitch loose. No bag is perfect. It can be almost perfect but not perfect. After the stitching part, the top zippers were lined with wax. And then it became a lot easier to open and close via the zippers.
I am happy to say I accepted the bag and is now in my possession. However, my wallet hates me right now and is not talking to me, and probably won't talk to me for the next while. Below are a few reveal shots. I'll do a more in-depth un-boxing post and take better up-close pictures in the next post. So stay tuned!
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
Car parts or purse?
So I have been in dilemma lately in regards to what to get. Car parts, or another purse?
I had been looking at front lips, side skirts and a rear diffuser to replace the ones that were not returned to me when I asked multiple times. This is a problem in the car community, or maybe it's just me. When you ask people to help, and instead your parts go missing. Then when you try to trace them down, they either give many excuses or just disappear into thin air. I've had my front lip stolen twice on two different occasions for painting. What are the chances?! It's not like you can just break into their shop or house and take your parts back, since that won't be a very good track record. Yeah, car parts are a waste of money. Especially when they end up in the wrong hands, you end up spending double the amount to replace them. It's probably the reason why all my parts are mostly used parts from other owners. But to find all 3 used, in a timely manner will take some time. And who knows, by the time I find them, it's winter time. And then it's 2016. My goodness!
I've looked around and found brand new pieces to buy. But I am still in dilemma whether I should go ahead with it or not. The only issue is, those parts would have to be removed in winter time if I want to preserve it and not damage it, as it will all be carbon fibre. But do I really want to remove and put back each season? Plus, when it's being removed and put on so many times, I would be afraid it wouldn't tighten as much as before. You see? Dilemma. I would like to put the pieces on once and just leave it. But carbon fibre requires a bit more maintenance. And once it cracks, that's it. There goes my money once again. These parts require way more thinking than purchasing a purse.
Speaking of which, I have thought about another purse to add to the collection. If you had been keeping track of my posts, you probably recalled I wrote a brief post about Chanel and a pending order of a medium classic flap bag back in March (which I already removed). My friend and I had ordered via "someone" (I did know him personally) who said he had connections for a kickass deal. It sounded too good to be true, but he kept insisting it was for certain. And had "updated" me biweekly on the status of the bags. Well, it's almost end of July and I have not seen any pictures of its arrival. I already stopped believing back in May when the arrival dates kept changing. The lack of initiative to pick up the so called bags to deliver to me, basically ignoring every time I asked. Instead he made me feel guilty, or almost like guilt tripping. For what? I ordered bags, that was it haha. This is a business deal; either the item exists or it doesn't.
After persisting for pictures and what not, and not getting straight answers, I have come to the conclusion that the Chanel bags do not exist. If it was only me, I would be fine, but this involved my best friend as well. And when another party is involved, I get way more pissed than usual. You know the saying, never get in between a woman and her purse? (I sort of made it up) but yeah, that's pretty much this situation. It was a complete waste of time on both our parts. I had called up that "connection" friend (who, according to that "someone", supposedly had awesome connections to high end brands) and explained everything to him, and he really had no idea what was going on. This was all new to him. So in conclusion, that "someone" was faking everything. Making false promises on car parts and bags. Lying to everyone. So not only did I get screwed over with car parts, but now bags as well. Yeah, let's just say fancy doing business with you. People like that are sick in their minds, and need psychological help. I hope he seeks the help he needs.
Back to the potential car parts and purse. Now, I could get the parts AND the purse as well, but that would be bad for my wallet (and yes, I do make my own money to buy my own bags and parts). Probably a really bad financial decision too. So I have decided.....
Dun
Dun
Duuuuuunnnnnnn.......!!!!
Wait for it.....
Wait......
+1 for the purse.
Yeah, sorry for the disappointment. I figured the purse would be needed soon for the conference, and I needed something to fit a laptop and a binder, along with my other crap that I usually take. I could easily just bring a laptop case or one of those messenger bags to fit everything, but nah, I'm not a messenger bag type of girl. I rather fit everything into a nice bag with a carry on luggage and not have to worry about a laptop bag. That's more bags to carry! Plus this would be more useful than car parts. At least resale value would still be high versus car parts. See my logic? Maybe? This is partially why I can get indecisive with things because I tend to argue with myself about what's more logical.
The next step is colour. The best colour combo would be black with gold hardware. It's the most elegant look, and makes everything look more professional. Or black with silver hardware. I thought about it, but I don't want to pay for a plain look. If I choose a colour, I better be happy with it and use the bag more than once. Frankly, I need to add some bright colours to my collection. Most of my outfits are dark coloured, so buying a dark coloured bag would just blend in too much. So I didn't choose either of the above colour combination. Instead....I will wait to write a reveal and then you can see for yourself. Hopefully the colour will show up on camera.
The store I contacted did not have the bag in that particular colour, but they found one at another location. I asked to transfer it to their location. So it will be about a couple of days before it arrives and then I can take a look to see if it's up to my liking. Or whether I need to choose another colour. The problem with these bags? They come in too many different colours! I wish they would have a buy one get one free sale. Haha only in my dreams.
So there you have it. My decision at last. Stay tuned for an upcoming bag reveal! (well, that's if I'm happy with the condition of it)
I had been looking at front lips, side skirts and a rear diffuser to replace the ones that were not returned to me when I asked multiple times. This is a problem in the car community, or maybe it's just me. When you ask people to help, and instead your parts go missing. Then when you try to trace them down, they either give many excuses or just disappear into thin air. I've had my front lip stolen twice on two different occasions for painting. What are the chances?! It's not like you can just break into their shop or house and take your parts back, since that won't be a very good track record. Yeah, car parts are a waste of money. Especially when they end up in the wrong hands, you end up spending double the amount to replace them. It's probably the reason why all my parts are mostly used parts from other owners. But to find all 3 used, in a timely manner will take some time. And who knows, by the time I find them, it's winter time. And then it's 2016. My goodness!
I've looked around and found brand new pieces to buy. But I am still in dilemma whether I should go ahead with it or not. The only issue is, those parts would have to be removed in winter time if I want to preserve it and not damage it, as it will all be carbon fibre. But do I really want to remove and put back each season? Plus, when it's being removed and put on so many times, I would be afraid it wouldn't tighten as much as before. You see? Dilemma. I would like to put the pieces on once and just leave it. But carbon fibre requires a bit more maintenance. And once it cracks, that's it. There goes my money once again. These parts require way more thinking than purchasing a purse.
Speaking of which, I have thought about another purse to add to the collection. If you had been keeping track of my posts, you probably recalled I wrote a brief post about Chanel and a pending order of a medium classic flap bag back in March (which I already removed). My friend and I had ordered via "someone" (I did know him personally) who said he had connections for a kickass deal. It sounded too good to be true, but he kept insisting it was for certain. And had "updated" me biweekly on the status of the bags. Well, it's almost end of July and I have not seen any pictures of its arrival. I already stopped believing back in May when the arrival dates kept changing. The lack of initiative to pick up the so called bags to deliver to me, basically ignoring every time I asked. Instead he made me feel guilty, or almost like guilt tripping. For what? I ordered bags, that was it haha. This is a business deal; either the item exists or it doesn't.
After persisting for pictures and what not, and not getting straight answers, I have come to the conclusion that the Chanel bags do not exist. If it was only me, I would be fine, but this involved my best friend as well. And when another party is involved, I get way more pissed than usual. You know the saying, never get in between a woman and her purse? (I sort of made it up) but yeah, that's pretty much this situation. It was a complete waste of time on both our parts. I had called up that "connection" friend (who, according to that "someone", supposedly had awesome connections to high end brands) and explained everything to him, and he really had no idea what was going on. This was all new to him. So in conclusion, that "someone" was faking everything. Making false promises on car parts and bags. Lying to everyone. So not only did I get screwed over with car parts, but now bags as well. Yeah, let's just say fancy doing business with you. People like that are sick in their minds, and need psychological help. I hope he seeks the help he needs.
Back to the potential car parts and purse. Now, I could get the parts AND the purse as well, but that would be bad for my wallet (and yes, I do make my own money to buy my own bags and parts). Probably a really bad financial decision too. So I have decided.....
Dun
Dun
Duuuuuunnnnnnn.......!!!!
Wait for it.....
Wait......
+1 for the purse.
Yeah, sorry for the disappointment. I figured the purse would be needed soon for the conference, and I needed something to fit a laptop and a binder, along with my other crap that I usually take. I could easily just bring a laptop case or one of those messenger bags to fit everything, but nah, I'm not a messenger bag type of girl. I rather fit everything into a nice bag with a carry on luggage and not have to worry about a laptop bag. That's more bags to carry! Plus this would be more useful than car parts. At least resale value would still be high versus car parts. See my logic? Maybe? This is partially why I can get indecisive with things because I tend to argue with myself about what's more logical.
The next step is colour. The best colour combo would be black with gold hardware. It's the most elegant look, and makes everything look more professional. Or black with silver hardware. I thought about it, but I don't want to pay for a plain look. If I choose a colour, I better be happy with it and use the bag more than once. Frankly, I need to add some bright colours to my collection. Most of my outfits are dark coloured, so buying a dark coloured bag would just blend in too much. So I didn't choose either of the above colour combination. Instead....I will wait to write a reveal and then you can see for yourself. Hopefully the colour will show up on camera.
The store I contacted did not have the bag in that particular colour, but they found one at another location. I asked to transfer it to their location. So it will be about a couple of days before it arrives and then I can take a look to see if it's up to my liking. Or whether I need to choose another colour. The problem with these bags? They come in too many different colours! I wish they would have a buy one get one free sale. Haha only in my dreams.
So there you have it. My decision at last. Stay tuned for an upcoming bag reveal! (well, that's if I'm happy with the condition of it)
Monday, July 13, 2015
5 Years Ago...
I mean, a lot of things happened 5 years ago. The start of my career, the first big move from home, but the one that brings back memories to this exact day was the arrival of the Genesis Coupe.
When the Gencoupe was first released to the Canadian market, I had my eyes set on it. I knew that was going to be my first car. The rear end was the first thing that caught my attention. Price range was good for a first car, great standard features (the most basic I wanted was bluetooth, and folding mirrors). I had gone with a friend to test drive it in 2009 and I remember it was a Lime Rock Green 3.8GT in manual. Of course at that time I didn't know how to drive standard so he drove it. He reported that it was not as responsive as he thought it would be. He was disappointed in it. And for a while I sort of tried to dismiss it and maybe look for another car.
I looked around and decided, maybe the Altima sedan? Except I didn't want the 2.5L version. If I had to get the Altima, I wanted the 3.5L SR (used to be SE). Dealerships around town only had the 2.5L version available for test drives. I test drove it multiple times to see how it handled, and how the ride was. It was way too soft for my liking. The steering felt really loose. And I had to imagine each time that I test drove a 2.5L that the 3.5L would be a bit faster. So just imagine...just try...! And I couldn't. When I asked to test drive a 3.5L, they said it's very limited, because most customers request the 2.5. The 3.5 was not in high demand. If I wanted the SR, I would have to order one in and wait months for it. I didn't have months to wait, I only had a couple weeks before I moved to another city to work. So I couldn't wait for the SR, nor did I want to be stuck with a 2.5. Not only that, but the standard options were very limited. If I wanted bluetooth and folding mirrors, I had to buy packages. And when I calculated it, it was close to 40k for a 2.5L sedan. No thanks.
I tried the Sonata and same thing. The steering felt more loose than the Altima. Probably due to the assisted electric steering. It was a nice car, don't get me wrong. But something about it just didn't feel right. I knew in my heart that time that it was the Gencoupe I was set on. Love at first sight!
So off I went to test drive one in the base. It was already enough for me. I didn't want a sunroof, so the base was the only one that didn't offer a sunroof. I didn't like the stop/start button either; I'm more of a fan of the old traditional turn key ignition. I liked the steering a lot. It was stiff and I felt I was more in control of my driving. AND IT HAD BLUETOOTH AND FOLDING EXTERIOR MIRRORS!!! I was sold on this. But now the next step was to find a dealership that would offer me a great deal. I went to about 6 different dealerships before settling on the best deal.
Before making the final decision, my parents would try to persuade me from getting a coupe. The doors would fall off. It's too heavy. What happens if I got into a car accident with friends in the back? Firefighters would have to cut the roof to get them out. What happens when you have kids in the future? Space is limited. It's too low. What about winter? Etc. Anything in the books to get me to change my mind. But I didn't.
One that really surprised them was when we called up the insurance company to get quotes. If I had wanted an Altima 2.5 sedan, the monthly rate would be a lot higher than the coupe. At that time, very little information was known about the coupe. They had it divided into two categories. If it was a base model, or a non 3.8L, it was considered a small car. If it was a 3.8 or a 3.8GT, it was considered a sports car. The monthly difference was at least $100 difference. Plus the Altima has been out longer than mankind, so there would be a lot more data available. So that's when I shoved it in their faces and said HA! Hyundai is cheaper! NA-Na-Na-Na-Na!!!
So now that a final decision has been made on which car, the next step was colour. The coupes that were shown to me were red and grey. Maybe one had blue but not in the trim that I wanted. I asked for blue. They said they didn't have any but would have to allocate one at a dealership and ship it here, or if there was none, then I'd have to get it ordered and wait a few months. But I didn't have months. So thankfully the dealership that offered me the better deal had a blue sitting untouched in base. I swear, it was meant to be. Most cars had come in different trims other than base. It was difficult to find a blue in base. I looked at it, and said I'll take it. It took a few days to have it prepped for me, but finally when the day came, it was heavennnnnnnn!
The first thing it went through after pick up was rust proofing and detailing. So I had to spend another day without it. Finally when it arrived home, I wanted to just drive it. But my dad, being the awesome dad he is, had said to not drive it. It was so shiny, he didn't want to see dirt on it. So I drove it sparingly that week until the day I had to move. And that's when my adventures began.
So, that was 5 years ago. It's crazy how time flies. There's definitely been ups and downs in terms of modding this car. From cracked parts, to mediocre tuning, to stolen parts, to not giving back my parts. Oh wait, that's still considered stolen. But at least the car still runs.
In terms of stories, there have been compliments here and there. Especially in the beginning when people didn't know what car it was, or who made it. But even to this day, I still get those comments as well. I left the Hyundai emblem on, but removed the Genesis Coupe emblem so it would be easier to clean the car. The most recent story was yesterday. I saw a girl and her boyfriend (I assume) head to their car, but she was telling him something. And walked to my car. At one point I thought she wanted to take a pic with the car. I wasn't too sure. But I was already heading to my car to run errands. That's when the guy asked "Hey! We are just wondering what car this is?"And I told them. The guy said that she wants this car and that it looks really nice. I told her, don't give up on your dreams! Do it, you'll like the car a lot.
I think the weirdest ones occurred in the first year of ownership while I was still out of town. I had come out of work and noticed a slice of bread on my car, that had a few bites. It was left on my windshield. Maybe the person was in a rush to go home and didn't want their wife or husband to find out they had a slice of bread at the hospital, so they decided to discard it on my windshield. I'm not sure. This was way before it was modded so it was still stock. The next story was, I came out of my apartment one day and noticed some weird stain mark on my trunk by the Gencoupe emblem. It looked like somebody had thrown coffee all over the back. I guess somebody don't like Gencoupes! or Hyundai. Either way, not cool to vandalize other people's cars.
Any big plans for the coupe in the near future? Not sure yet. Sometimes ideas just hit my head and then I make a fast decision. Sometimes it takes months or years to make a decision. In the meantime, it's just pure maintenance. But one thing for sure, I ain't selling it.
So happy 5 year anniversary to my blue little monster!
When the Gencoupe was first released to the Canadian market, I had my eyes set on it. I knew that was going to be my first car. The rear end was the first thing that caught my attention. Price range was good for a first car, great standard features (the most basic I wanted was bluetooth, and folding mirrors). I had gone with a friend to test drive it in 2009 and I remember it was a Lime Rock Green 3.8GT in manual. Of course at that time I didn't know how to drive standard so he drove it. He reported that it was not as responsive as he thought it would be. He was disappointed in it. And for a while I sort of tried to dismiss it and maybe look for another car.
I looked around and decided, maybe the Altima sedan? Except I didn't want the 2.5L version. If I had to get the Altima, I wanted the 3.5L SR (used to be SE). Dealerships around town only had the 2.5L version available for test drives. I test drove it multiple times to see how it handled, and how the ride was. It was way too soft for my liking. The steering felt really loose. And I had to imagine each time that I test drove a 2.5L that the 3.5L would be a bit faster. So just imagine...just try...! And I couldn't. When I asked to test drive a 3.5L, they said it's very limited, because most customers request the 2.5. The 3.5 was not in high demand. If I wanted the SR, I would have to order one in and wait months for it. I didn't have months to wait, I only had a couple weeks before I moved to another city to work. So I couldn't wait for the SR, nor did I want to be stuck with a 2.5. Not only that, but the standard options were very limited. If I wanted bluetooth and folding mirrors, I had to buy packages. And when I calculated it, it was close to 40k for a 2.5L sedan. No thanks.
I tried the Sonata and same thing. The steering felt more loose than the Altima. Probably due to the assisted electric steering. It was a nice car, don't get me wrong. But something about it just didn't feel right. I knew in my heart that time that it was the Gencoupe I was set on. Love at first sight!
So off I went to test drive one in the base. It was already enough for me. I didn't want a sunroof, so the base was the only one that didn't offer a sunroof. I didn't like the stop/start button either; I'm more of a fan of the old traditional turn key ignition. I liked the steering a lot. It was stiff and I felt I was more in control of my driving. AND IT HAD BLUETOOTH AND FOLDING EXTERIOR MIRRORS!!! I was sold on this. But now the next step was to find a dealership that would offer me a great deal. I went to about 6 different dealerships before settling on the best deal.
Before making the final decision, my parents would try to persuade me from getting a coupe. The doors would fall off. It's too heavy. What happens if I got into a car accident with friends in the back? Firefighters would have to cut the roof to get them out. What happens when you have kids in the future? Space is limited. It's too low. What about winter? Etc. Anything in the books to get me to change my mind. But I didn't.
One that really surprised them was when we called up the insurance company to get quotes. If I had wanted an Altima 2.5 sedan, the monthly rate would be a lot higher than the coupe. At that time, very little information was known about the coupe. They had it divided into two categories. If it was a base model, or a non 3.8L, it was considered a small car. If it was a 3.8 or a 3.8GT, it was considered a sports car. The monthly difference was at least $100 difference. Plus the Altima has been out longer than mankind, so there would be a lot more data available. So that's when I shoved it in their faces and said HA! Hyundai is cheaper! NA-Na-Na-Na-Na!!!
So now that a final decision has been made on which car, the next step was colour. The coupes that were shown to me were red and grey. Maybe one had blue but not in the trim that I wanted. I asked for blue. They said they didn't have any but would have to allocate one at a dealership and ship it here, or if there was none, then I'd have to get it ordered and wait a few months. But I didn't have months. So thankfully the dealership that offered me the better deal had a blue sitting untouched in base. I swear, it was meant to be. Most cars had come in different trims other than base. It was difficult to find a blue in base. I looked at it, and said I'll take it. It took a few days to have it prepped for me, but finally when the day came, it was heavennnnnnnn!
The first thing it went through after pick up was rust proofing and detailing. So I had to spend another day without it. Finally when it arrived home, I wanted to just drive it. But my dad, being the awesome dad he is, had said to not drive it. It was so shiny, he didn't want to see dirt on it. So I drove it sparingly that week until the day I had to move. And that's when my adventures began.
So, that was 5 years ago. It's crazy how time flies. There's definitely been ups and downs in terms of modding this car. From cracked parts, to mediocre tuning, to stolen parts, to not giving back my parts. Oh wait, that's still considered stolen. But at least the car still runs.
In terms of stories, there have been compliments here and there. Especially in the beginning when people didn't know what car it was, or who made it. But even to this day, I still get those comments as well. I left the Hyundai emblem on, but removed the Genesis Coupe emblem so it would be easier to clean the car. The most recent story was yesterday. I saw a girl and her boyfriend (I assume) head to their car, but she was telling him something. And walked to my car. At one point I thought she wanted to take a pic with the car. I wasn't too sure. But I was already heading to my car to run errands. That's when the guy asked "Hey! We are just wondering what car this is?"And I told them. The guy said that she wants this car and that it looks really nice. I told her, don't give up on your dreams! Do it, you'll like the car a lot.
I think the weirdest ones occurred in the first year of ownership while I was still out of town. I had come out of work and noticed a slice of bread on my car, that had a few bites. It was left on my windshield. Maybe the person was in a rush to go home and didn't want their wife or husband to find out they had a slice of bread at the hospital, so they decided to discard it on my windshield. I'm not sure. This was way before it was modded so it was still stock. The next story was, I came out of my apartment one day and noticed some weird stain mark on my trunk by the Gencoupe emblem. It looked like somebody had thrown coffee all over the back. I guess somebody don't like Gencoupes! or Hyundai. Either way, not cool to vandalize other people's cars.
Any big plans for the coupe in the near future? Not sure yet. Sometimes ideas just hit my head and then I make a fast decision. Sometimes it takes months or years to make a decision. In the meantime, it's just pure maintenance. But one thing for sure, I ain't selling it.
So happy 5 year anniversary to my blue little monster!
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