Don't be a F*ckboy/girl

Single? Ready to mingle? Casual encounters? Fling? 

Those are pretty much the "in" thing in this day and age. 

I was reading an article online about the dating world in this day and age. How both girls and guys complain that the dating world lately has merely just been a "hit and run" type of thing. Or what the new words they call f*ckboy and f*ckgirl.

Yes, it's very hard to find the right one. It's not like picking candy in a candy store. It's more like finding a needle in a haystack. You don't just pick someone off the street and say "Yup, he's the one" without actually getting to know them first. The problem with people these days? They don't get to know one another first. By this, I don't mean physically taking clothes off to inspect body parts type of knowing. I mean actually getting to know that person: what they like or don't like, how they think, how they communicate with you/others. 

These days, it seems like both girls and guys jump into bed first to see if they are good in bed. Dating further will depend on how they perform in the sack. Considering this is more of a casual thing, it is no wonder so many girls (and guys) complain that they are being neglected or have their phone calls/texts ignored by the other party. 

Come on. Grow up people. 

The new trend with this Tinder thing, swiping left or right, or going on random dating sites, it's a scary thing. Yes we all get busy with life and don't have time to go out to actually meet people. So now online dating is the new trend. But seriously, you end up meeting a lot of messed up people online. Especially when they are always behind the screens for most of the day. 

I'm not saying you will always end up meeting a murderer online. Some people actually do find love online and live happily ever after. But with people's mentality these days on casual encounters, don't expect to find true love right away online.

I know someone (and I'm sure most of you know someone like this), who connected with someone online, met in person and got to know them. The guy seemed nice at first, but then when she tried texting him or calling him, he would take centuries to reply. The girl would get stressed and wonder what she did wrong, then seek help from girl friends. Eventually the guy would text back and say "oh hey what's up. I was working on my car." Yeah...all week?! Couldn't even say hi?

And that's the thing. If a guy really cared about a girl, he would call her to say hi or see how they were doing. Girls love that. A text, sure. But a phone call means much more than just a "hi" over text. Eventually we found out the guy was talking to a previous love interest and hanging out with her. Yet he had no clue why it made my friend mad. Didn't see anything wrong with it. Eventually the friend moved on and met someone else. 

There was no communication between the friend and the guy for a while, until the guy started asking the friend to hang out. The friend said sorry, I've moved on. The guy's response? "What, we don't talk for 3 weeks and then now suddenly you're seeing someone else?" Well yeah. If you really cared about a person, you wouldn't wait 3 weeks to then message them and say "sup". At that point it becomes way too late to pour out your feelings for that person.

That's a f*ckboy move right there. Ladies and gentlemen, please don't be that person. Those people are the reason why there are so many broken hearts and broken trusts out there.

With technology at our fingertips, it is easy to hide behind the glass screen from people we don't like or don't want to deal with. It is also easy to stalk those that we are interested in. It can go either way. 

What have I learned? You can't force love on someone. You can't force someone to love you back. You can't force yourself to love someone either. With these dating sites, I avoided them like the plague because I don't believe in love on dating sites. I believe that when the time is right, the person will show up when you least expect it.

So for those that are on Tinder for fun, or to ruin other people's lives by setting them up for disaster, I hope one day you will learn your lesson about love. If your attitude is as such, don't be complaining to your friends about why this chick or dude is not getting back to you or talking to you. Your attitude will reflect on the final result. 

If you go into the dating world with an attitude of just messing with people's minds, or just do a "hit and run", then don't be surprised when the opposite sex refuses to talk to you or hang out with you anymore. Don't be complaining to your buddies about what a bitch she is, or what an asshole he is, because you're the one who instigated the whole thing in the first place with your attitude. 

The reason why she acted like a bitch to you? Because you used her and dumped her on the side to see another chick. Yeah, of course she'll be mad at you. What are you expecting, a hug? In your dreams buddy.

He's acting like a complete dick to you? Maybe you should stop acting like a gold digger or talking to other guys behind his back. Or maybe he is a complete dick to everyone. You don't need people like that in your life. Next!

I still have friends who are single and are happy. I also know singles who aren't happy either, and wish they could find the one. Is there anything wrong with either? I can't be the judge of that. Sometimes it's a choice to stay single, but most of the time it's just hard to find the right person. It takes a lot of effort and energy to make things work well between two people. It's not like 1+1 and boom you're done. It takes two to tango.

Then there are the ones who spend money on chicks and hope the chicks love them back. But then when it doesn't they all call them gold diggers. Well first off buddy, you can't buy someone's love. So even though you do all this for a girl, and she doesn't feel it (the love I mean), that's not real love. The real love is having that emotional and mental connection first. I don't know how many times I've had guys complain that "Yo I spent this much amount on this girl and she don't love me bro. What a gold digging ho. Screw her."

Remember what I said earlier? It's about the attitude. You go in with the perception that if you buy someone things, then maybe they will like you back. Complete wrong attitude to start with. If you start with that, prepare to have bad end results. Not just in your bank account, but overall relationship. As I said, you can't buy someone's love. 

If you are clearly interested in getting to know someone, take them out for a coffee or a meal. The guy should pay for the meal. But girls, please don't order the most expensive thing on the menu. Be considerate please. 

If you make it to the second/third date, that's awesome. But some girls also continue to go on dates with guys in hopes of getting free meals all the time but don't really care about getting to know the guy. So guys, be aware of that too. By this time, you should have an idea whether you want to pursue this person any further. If either side don't feel any clicks by this point, there is no point going further in having more meals or coffee time together. You are both wasting time. 

Attitude. It plays a huge role. If you don't have the right attitude going into the dating game, then don't be surprised when you get played. A lot of good people with great attitudes have been hurt because of those who have terrible attitudes, or f*ckboy/girl attitudes. 

So please, for the love of God and everyone else on this planet, don't be a f*ckboy/girl.