Sciatica...

For those who don't know, I've struggled with a bad back for the past decade. It all stemmed from an injury while assisting someone. One event has now led to a complete downfall during my young adulthood.

I have done physiotherapy to help alleviate some pain, but during crazy scheduling, it has been difficult trying to keep up with it religiously. Unfortunately my clinic has now closed down as the owner has retired. Since then, I hadn't had much time to look around for another, so I figured I would do my own little stretches at home.

So that's what I have been doing, especially lately with a lot of running around, and my back is in dying need of rest and stretch. That is what I did last week and I guess I must have pulled something during one of my stretches (maybe went a bit too far compared to the usual). The next thing I know, there is a sharp pain going down my back and my leg. Well...that's not good.

I immediately went to put a hot pad on my back. Normally it would resolve after a couple of hours. I knew something was wrong when I got up the next morning and had trouble getting out of bed. Things that I were able to do before, I was not able to do that particular morning. Putting on socks and pants became a challenge and probably the most painful thing. For the first time, I had to sit down and put socks on. My morning routine was slow that morning but I was still able to accomplish my tasks. The next part was getting into the car. Considering I drive a lowered car, it really didn't help me at all. Getting into the car was not an issue, but getting out was a struggle.

Going to work that morning (and looking back to this, I should've just called in sick), I took my time. Every step that I took, there was a sharp pain in my back that would radiate down my leg, all the way to my foot. It was not a nice feeling. It alternated between pain and numbness. Half the time I couldn't feel my leg. Sometimes my butt was in pain because of the nerves. All in all, it was a struggle.

The second worst thing to occur that morning were my allergies. I had stopped my Reactine for a few days as it was drying out my nose and of course I was getting nosebleeds. The allergies weren't so bad at home, but at work it was a nightmare. This particular morning it started off alright but within the hour, I was in a sneezing frenzy. Because of the constant back pain I was in, every sneeze became a painful nightmare. It felt good to sneeze but I had to force myself not to sneeze sometimes in order to save my back. Oh boy, when that sneeze came and it couldn't be stopped, I was crying in pain soon after. It's interesting how our body works; when we sneeze, we always think well it's just my lungs and nose. Nope, you use your entire abdominal cavity to expel all that air and whatever particles are irritating your nose. So for 8-10 hours, it was torture. And I was stupid for not carrying my Reactine with me. Eventually I got a hold of Benadryl, which was better than nothing at this point. I rather feel the drowsy effect than sneeze for another hour.

Normally I would try to hide my issues, but this time around it was hard to hide my limp that was ever so obvious to everyone. They asked if I was ok, I said 'sciatica'. And they all freaked out, saying I am way too young for this. Yes, I know I am way too young for it but what can I do? I have to learn to deal with it. That's all I can do. So please stop telling me I am too young for anything.

By the time I got home, I was quite relieved. My sneezing had stopped (I did take a Reactine to make sure). I took a shower (ahhh very nice for the back, very soothing), which took forever. And finally, I tried to relax in bed for a bit. When dinner time came around, I was hungry but my problem is...I could not get out of bed. First of all, I couldn't really move much without the pain shooting everywhere. When I had the courage to finally try to stand, I couldn't stand. I nearly collapsed and that scared the living daylights out of me. The problem was, I would try to stand but there was a sharp pain that went from my back to my feet and it just made everything so painful and numb at the same time. I had no strength to support myself. I did not want to take any further risk into harming myself so I ended up going back to bed ever so slowly.

Never in my life did I want to bother anyone to help me, but this time around I had to call my mom for help. She had no idea what was happening as I didn't tell her anything throughout the day, but when she came and saw me, she thought I needed to go to the hospital to get assessed. I guess that's how bad things became. However, I didn't want to bother her or dad and there was no way I would want to go to a hospital during the COVID. I don't think the staff could do much anyways so what was the point. Plus I didn't want to have them exposed to possible sick patients at the hospital so I begged her to not take me. She asked if there was any way we could go to a doctor, but given the circumstances I didn't think any clinics would be open except for the emergency department.

My next challenge was going to the bathroom. I wish I had the equipment to catheterize myself but unfortunately I don't and I didn't want to give myself a UTI. Thank God that I have one of those computer chair on wheels. It took me a while but I managed to transfer myself into that chair and rolled down the hallway using my arms as my guide. Unfortunately for me, the chair was too wide to fit the bathroom door frame. So this was the next challenge: to get inside the bathroom without falling over and cracking my head open. It went successfully, but it was pretty painful. Brushing teeth was a challenge because I couldn't stand straight. The toilet I won't go into much detail, except it took time to lower myself and raise myself up using my arms as strength. This really gave me huge insight into those who have lost both legs to various ailments and who really rely on their arms for transfer purposes. It isn't easy. I give them HUGE credit that they have to deal with it everyday for the rest of their lives. Don't take your limbs for granted (or your body as a whole).

I transferred myself back to bed. I was doing fine until I tried to reposition myself and must have twisted my back somehow. The next thing I know, I am screaming in pain. When that pain hits, the entire body just freezes. It's like a lightning feeling that goes up and down the entire body. The more you tense up, the more intense the pain becomes. It takes a lot of energy to close your eyes, ease your mind, relax your muscles, and let that pain try to go away on its own. That's what I've learned when I have bad flareups. There was one time I became so tense after one of the flareups that the pain just kept going and it felt like forever before the pain finally started to dissipate. It was at this moment that I decided I should take some time off work to recover. People would think I'm crazy for going into work if I couldn't even stand.

Sciatica is no joke. And it can hit anyone of any age. I really think we should stop labelling certain issues as "old people" issues, just like how disc degenerative disease can happen to anyone of any age. If certain trauma happens in a young person's life that they get DDD in their 30's, they shouldn't be told that they're too young to have it, and that it's an "old person's disease". Just like how officials say COVID attacks the older people. No, it can affect ANYONE of ANY age. So please, let's stop labelling things on certain people.

To this day, I still have numbness down one of my legs. It's something that I just got used to, and just learn to deal with it. Ever since that bad flare up, I have been feeling more funny things down my leg. It's hard to describe but the closest I can think of is when you hit your elbow/funny bone against something and you get that weird feeling going down your arm momentarily. That's as close as I can describe this feeling, except it is always there. It doesn't goes away and unfortunately for me, it will probably never go away.

For those who don't have back issues: count your blessings. Please take care of your bodies, of your back especially. Because once you injure your back, it is very difficult to go back to normal after an injury.
For those who are going through back issues: I understand you. We got this. Just keep staying strong, keep up with those massages and physio sessions. And please, just be careful too. We have one life to live, one back to deal with, one chance. Let's aim for recovery and not let it boggle us down.