Remember when I said you wouldn't find me on any dating apps?
It still holds true to this day.
There is a but though. BUT......
In 2022, I did sign up for ONE app. It was not one of the very common ones (Tinder, Bumble or Hinge). I decided to give it a try. ONE TRY.
I lasted for about 3 weeks. Not even a month. And then I quit.
That's how disgusting these dating apps are.
Let's rewind back to sometime in 2022.
I decided to sign up, upload whatever pictures I thought would bring out my beauty, and figure out how to use the darn thing. Because it was a free app, it only allowed certain amounts of guys for you to view for the day. Then you'd have to wait 24 hours to get the next batch of guys. If I paid money, I would get to see every guy who had liked me and choose who to connect with. Sounds like a waste of money.
I saw all these hearts and likes in my account when I signed back in. Unfortunately I could not see them all because I'm a cheapskate and didn't pay for the app. But I figured I'll get through that list eventually. Someday.
There were a good amount of Asian guys on there. Some of them I recognized from school. I kept telling myself I should message them to say hi.
Let's forward to the ones who did match with me.
I don't remember how many I matched with, but I could count on one hand how many normal conversations I had with the guys. The rest were either weird, very desperate, or ghosts. By ghosts, I mean he would say hello. I'd say hello. His next reply would be 5 days later. Then on the last day before the messages expire, he would ask if he could have my number. UMMM I don't think so. I don't even know you. Goodbye.
The other one started off the conversation with "hey, want to meet up for coffee?" UMMM no, I don't even know you. No icebreaker? I get that people don't want to waste any time but this was way too fast.
Another was from a local church. We did have a pretty good conversation for the first few days. Unfortunately it died off on the last day before messages expire. But he did invite me to check out the English service one day if I was up for it. Thank you kind sir.
Of all the guys I spoke with via messages, I only ever met up with one guy for dinner. He seemed nice and decent. Except for the fact that he kept pushing to watch Turning Red at his condo. Maybe I'm not used to this current dating culture but I did inform him that I was not comfortable going to anyone's place on a first date. The fact that I had to repeatedly say it just showed how much this person really cared. Non existent.
Now we go into this whole "who pays for dinner on the first date?" I recalled asking him if he wanted to split the bill, but some guys end up footing the bill, which he did. I thanked him for that. We then agreed to grab a bubble tea, of which I said I would grab the bill. I'm not used to the whole "let's split 50/50". I think it's lame. If you invite me, you grab this bill. I'll grab the next. None of this BS 'let me pay you back $26.87. JUST NO.
It seemed like a good first date. But it wasn't the right click for me. Then again, I only met the guy this evening. Maybe I just need more time.
The night ended off with a thank you and a hug, and then one last invitation to go back to the condo for a movie. I politely declined and waved goodbye (as my mind was worried about making it to work the next morning).
The next few days we chatted on text. He asked if we could go for another date, and there was just something holding me back from accepting that. I didn't know what it was, but it just held me back. The next few days texting back and forth, he was quite open with sharing various food pictures and condo pictures, except I noticed he would say stuff like "I'm hanging out with my friend tonight. Her and I will just be chatting and watching a movie." It's 1am bro. What kind of chatting are you doing.
Another would be catsitting for a girl friend. Ummm you're catsitting for less than 12 hours? Doesn't make sense either. Cats will be fine without company for 12 hours.
While he was my longest connection on a dating app, it ended rather quickly with him ghosting me. When guys complain about girls ghosting them, it also happens to girls too! But I was so relieved it was over. I guess in this current culture, it's normal for everyone to be dating 25 people at once. There's no more of the "let me focus on one person first and if that doesn't work out, I'll just try again later with someone else." NOPE. No more of that.
My mind has not gotten used to this culture. The whole let's sleep with 25 people or more until I find the right person. No thanks. I don't want to have a relationship with a STD or STI. I'm good.
The next guy I never met in person. We had a good chat for days as well, until he stopped messaging for whatever reason. About 2 months later, he messaged to say hello!! It's been over half a year and I have not responded back.
After this, I ended up deleting the app for a few reasons. One, because of a family emergency. Two, because I realized if I wanted to go out and meet all these guys, I would have to make time out of my already packed schedule to meet these strangers. Unfortunately I couldn't commit to that. There was also no guarantee that they would commit either. Three, most of the guys on these apps are looking for something casual.
This was the beginning and end of my dating app adventure. I'm definitely not signing up for anymore. It was too much for my brain to handle.
Here's to hoping I can find love the normal/natural way (sans dating apps).
