Hospital care

Recently I had the unfortunate experience of being in the ER with a family member, and then getting admitted for observation. Compared to the last time that a family member was admitted couple years ago, this time around the service was crap.

Yes, we live in a first world country, where our health care is suppose to be the best. It's free after all right? 

It's utter crap and it's just getting worse. Take this from someone who actually works in health care in Canada. Health care isn't free. We basically get taxed out of our butts and that goes into everything that you see is 'free'. Refugees? Yes, we've basically paid for your stay AND your salary here. Which is why our country is in the dumps. 

Anyways, back to hospital experience.

We went to ER on a Thursday evening, and was pretty much in ER for just under 24 hours, before getting a hospital bed. The sad thing is, I'm not surprised at all that it took that long. If anything, that's a pretty good time (compared to others). It's definitely not acceptable, but it is what it is. Now, this is a well known hospital, one of the best in the country (if not the world). But depending what you're in for, you could be in for a long haul. If you aren't dying or bleeding to death, then you will be sitting in ER for 20+ hours until you get a bed. And that's if your condition is serious enough to warrant a hospital bed. 

I can't even tell you the name of our ER nurses because we never really saw them much. They came to take a set of vitals. And that was it. You could die in the chair and they probably won't even notice, because the nurses are getting pulled left right and centre. At night, there are maybe 2 rounding doctors who have to check 3-4 separate units in ER to assess patients. On top of that, if they get a trauma case come in, they get pulled. So it can be a very busy night. 

Which is why if you're in ER alone, those are the worst cases because no one is there to observe except for other patients and families that are around. I'm fortunate that I can take the time off and accompany my family member and stay with them all day and night to ensure they remain alive while waiting for a bed. It has come to that point in this country, to ensure survival, you really should have someone with you in ER. It's sad, but it's more scary. 

Once we got a bed and went to the unit, the unit was located very far from the main building. In the words of my mother, it was like the poor side of the hospital. I mean, it is an older section of the hospital. We are grateful we got the bed, but this was just the beginning. If you thought distance was an issue, this barely touched the surface.

The unit itself was built like a square. The nursing station was in the middle, while the outer portion was surrounded by hospital rooms. Just like every other unit, the nurses rotate throughout the week. You may not even get the same nurse the next day. That's just the reality of it. I introduced myself as a health care professional whenever I got to meet the nurse for the day (or night). When they hear that, they either get super anxious, or super happy. Anxious being a trouble maker family member, or happy because I actually help them, and that is what I did. 

The issue with that is, when they see you being very helpful, they don't check in as much on your family member. The moment my family member required assistance to the bathroom (for example), the second family member was there to help, but given that there was an IV pole to push, along with the family member being unsteady on their feet, it would be a lot safer if extra help was on hand. They called for a nurse to come. The response? Oh, stay inside for now, we will be there. 

When it took a while, they realized that the nurses were giving each other report, one shift to the next. No one cared to check in on the patients' request to use the bathroom. Instead, the family member struggled with all the equipment and the mess left behind in the bathroom. They had a risk of falling, and yet, not a nurse went in there to check.

Basic nursing 101. If your patient is calling you for help, doesn't matter if it's to go back to bed, or go to the bathroom, you GO and CHECK on them. I don't care if you're giving report. You tell your colleague that you have to go check on your patient, you'll be back, but feel free to continue reading my report. What ever happened to basic common sense in nurses? 

I get it that we are all busy. I'm a nurse and I've been in situations where I had to cover an entire floor of 30 something patients with 1 colleague. But if someone called for me to use the bathroom and I was giving report, I'll be running into that room quickly because the last thing I want is to have a patient attempting to walk themselves and then falling out of bed trying to do that. 

The nurses these days, what is happening? Is everyone on Tik Tok trying to make a buck or two on their shift, and forgetting you have lives in your hands? Is it really that difficult to go check in on your patient to help them to the bathroom? If you find it annoying or if you rolled your eyes, then don't be a nurse. Find another profession to do. But just don't be a nurse.

The most aggravating thing is when my family member tried to use the bathroom, and attempted to get out of bed, but lost their balance and fell to the ground. This room was also right in front of the nursing station. Family member did end up calling for help, and that's when FINALLY the nurses came in and assisted them back to bed. 

I understand that not all eyes will be on every room at every waking moment, because sometimes the nursing station is empty, that all the nurses are with patients. I can't blame them for not watching and seeing said family member fall down because they can't be sitting there just watching a room for their entire shift. 

This obviously is a systemic issue. It's not just a hospital issue, but it's really a domino effect, and that starts from the higher up. Hospitals are all underfunded. Yes, they may do fundraising events, or have donors donate huge amounts to the hospital. Reality is, do we actually see any of it? Do we see the money? Does it reflect on each unit? No, it doesn't.

The only money that we see is when they built an entirely new wing or section of the hospital, the proof of where some of the money went. Or maybe one unit finally got a new bladder scanner from that money. Aside from that, where is the money going? Research? You've had decades to find a cure for cancer. We have the most advanced technologies, yet we haven't found a cure. But think about it. If they could actually find a cure, what's going to happen to the pharmaceutical companies? They'd go bankrupt. The nursing staff? The specialist doctors? Jobless. They wouldn't need any of us anymore. Pharmaceuticals would lose billions of dollars. 

So of course, they must have a cure already. They're just not saying it. Because hospitals would run out of business. And that's the thing. Hospitals are a business. It's not a centre of care and compassion. It's a very big business. They don't care much about retaining staff such as nurses or assistants. We are just a small pawn in a big game of chess. You don't like it? Leave. They will replace you in a heart beat.

Anyways, that's just me side tracking. But the overall hospital experience this time around was a lot worse than the other one I had that happened less than 2 years ago. It was also a lot worse than from 9 years ago when I was last there for my mother's case. So yeah, hospitals are definitely getting worse as time goes on.

I also think the nursing knowledge and care is getting much worse. I don't want to blame one generation, because from what I see, it's a mix of all generations. I don't know if it's because we don't give a crap anymore about patient care, that everything is just about making the big bucks (but really, we don't make big bucks...if we do, we get severely taxed). Or that the generation of nurses are just that incompetent and lack common sense - perhaps they see it from their colleagues and just follow along. 

I don't know what it is. But whatever it is, it makes me terrified to continue getting care in a hospital for any of my family or loved ones. I cannot rely on the hospital to provide care to my family. I would rather take an extended leave of absence to care for them at home. That's how unsafe I feel. 

To everyone else, as I mentioned above, I highly recommend ALWAYS going to the hospital with your loved ones. Don't rely on the hospital staff to care for your family. 

7 months post - op check

Now that we are in June, let's do a 7 month post operative check!

Can't believe it's been just over 7 months now. How have things been since the spinal operation? Well, it's definitely had it's ups and downs. 

Initially, I didn't feel so much of the pain and I think it's because of the pain killers that they had put me on. I had taken the equivalent of Naproxen during the early healing days. Oxy was also prescribed to me but thankfully I did not require it. I'm proud to say I didn't require any narcotics during this time. If anything, I would take a narcotic for menstrual pain. Now that's just crazy when your period pain feels worse than back pain. 

What I've noticed almost daily now is the constant muscle ache type of pain. It's not to say the surgeon was horrible at the surgery (actually, he is quite the opposite!), but it's the way the body heals after such surgery. The incision heals fast, but it's the internal portion of the body that will take time to heal (I'm reading it could take a year for internal healing). 

Each case is different. Some people fair quite well after 6 weeks and start skiing or snowboarding (although it's highly recommended after 3 months of healing). But some will take years to recover. I don't know where I currently stand, but I feel like I'm heading towards the 1 year mark of healing. And I'll tell you why...

Walking. For months I've been trying to increase my walking tolerance. The max that I have gone is about 1.5 hours. I would try to push to 1 hour 45 minutes and I believe I have done it once at the mall without taking a break or a seat. However, I haven't been able to successfully repeat it as when I hit the 1 hour mark, my back feels exhausted already. It's the type of feeling when you work out your back too much that it feels tired and somewhat burning, like you've burned too much calories. 

Standing. This one is in combination with the walking. But I find that if I just stand there and not do any moving, the exhaustion will hit much faster. An example of this is at work. I haven't gone back to floor nursing yet as I know my tolerance isn't the greatest. This time, it was different as our program received new machines, and this would require me to be on the unit to test it out, and utilize it more comfortably with our clients. Our changeover usually lasts about 2 hours, and this involves a lot of walking and standing, with some time for sitting to chart. I couldn't do the entire 2 hours of walking and standing. In between I had to either lean over or sit down and stretch until my muscles felt more loose before I could attempt to use the machines. 

Sitting. I have no problems sitting. But I know that I cannot sit forever and that I need to stand and walk to avoid further damage. I have noticed that if I do sit for a prolong period of time, my right knee locks up and it's VERY painful getting up to walk because the ligaments are all tensed up. For a period of time, my physio had to focus on my knee and my quads because they were so tense, and caused too much pain. 

Core building. The amount of times both the surgeon and physio have said this: strengthen your core!!! Last year I couldn't do it. I remember trying to suck in my core and not use my back for anything. But as soon as I sucked in my core, I could feel the tingly sensation going down my left leg. That was the result of the compression in the back. Post surgery, I made sure to focus on the core. Honestly, when you strengthen the core, it relieves the back of the tension. I do admit I still have moments during high pressure that I forget to use the core and end up using my back muscles. I learn pretty quickly that I cannot do that because I start to ache pretty much right away. 

Use. Your. Legs. Yes, with any lifting or transferring, USE YOUR LEG MUSCLES. USE YOUR GLUTES. I work with clients who sometimes can't help themselves, and as health care professionals, they trust us to help transfer them. It's really exhausting on our end when we have to do that and injure ourselves in the meantime. 

What do I do when I feel my back muscles aching? First thing's first, I sit and I stretch my back. I don't ever hyper-extend anymore but I pretty much flex forward and just stretch. I do light back rotations, and of course do some squats when I can. At home, I use a heat pad. I didn't use the heat pad for a while given my incision was still healing but now that it's healed, I never thought I would need my heat pad again. But really, it's become my best friend again. Lastly, if I REALLY need it, I take Baclofen. I find it does help relax the muscles, but the side effect is another battle. I don't take the Baclofen during the day as it does make me super sleep and would impair my judgment. But at night? No problem. I would sleep like a baby through the night without pain. 

Although the surgeon has pretty much cleared me, I still take those words with a grain of salt. It takes 1 year to fully recover? Give it 2 years. 

Roller coasters. As much as I would love to go back on them, I know I physically shouldn't. And it would be a terrible idea to do it even now. Given the G forces and random drops and twists, it is no wonder why all coasters have a warning label before each ride that if you have back issues or spinal issues/surgery, to NOT ride any coasters. 

High heels. Man, just as I kept practicing to try and perfect my shoes, I had to put a halt to wearing them. Although the surgeon said I could wear them now, I prefer not to. Heels alter the spine tremendously, and if you fall, there's a risk of re-herniation (if not other injuries). I'll have to give it another 6 months or so before I attempt to wear high heels again, and having to learn how to walk in them again. 

Running, I used to be a runner, cross country in particular. It was my escape and my high. However, with the constant pressures from running (and perhaps uneven ground), it's considered a high impact sport that should be avoided after spinal surgery. 

All in all, I'm able to do more than last year, without pain. I'm able to walk for just over an hour now, versus 2 minutes. I used to be able to walk the entire Las Vegas strip, or just walk the entire day there without issues. Now? I know I have a long way to go, to get back to my base line. 

I still continue to do my physio, to continue with my stretches. I'm taking advantage of what I couldn't do last year. It's been a huge blessing to even do all this, knowing that things could've been a lot worse. Hubby has been my biggest supporter in all this: reminding me to sit, to take a break, and noticing if I'm getting exhausted, he would look for a spot for me to sit (or even carry me if he had to). 

Someday, I will get back to baseline. I just cannot give up. Just have to keep on moving forward. 

Happy 3 Years!

I'm going to try and not make this post too lovey dovey, but SORRY NOT SORRY if I can't help it.

I can't believe it's been 3 years since hubby and I first started going out. Honestly, the past 3 years have flown by so fast. There's a post I found on IG that pretty much sums up how I've felt since we started going out:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you don't date a f*cking loser.

I don't want to be condescending to my past that they were all losers (ok, maybe some of them), but every past gives you life experience. You learn about what you like and don't like in a life partner, what you can tolerate, and not tolerate. You grow as a person. You take what you've learned and apply it to your everyday life. 

If you have read my previous posts about love, you probably remember why this relationship is so much different than my previous ones. It's not because of some high school crush, or that they had an awesome car (hey BMW, I still love you, but not as much as him - sorry not sorry), but it's the way I am treated with love, with respect and most importantly: accepting my weird self. 

When I look back to our previous years of the "talking stage", I can't really tell you exactly when we first started talking. We talked years prior, but again, it was more of a respective colleague type of conversations. But I do recall us talking a bit more about the fall of 2022. Sharing car pictures and random life updates, working as a great team on the unit, having bubble tea with our other friends. I didn't think too much of it until May 2023 when things really started taking off. 

There has been so much that has happened in the past 3 years, where it tested out our love for each other. I'm sure there will be more challenges up ahead, but that is all part of life. It wasn't easy, especially in the beginning where we each had this perception of each other in our heads. The fear of saying something that would hurt the other. We have taught each other a lot, embraced our mistakes, apologized and made up, and we still continue to grow together. I think the biggest one of all is that he makes me feel safe, no matter what. It's not just protecting me from random strangers or falling items (yes, throwback to the PTN event when the backboard at the dealership almost fell on our heads but he had the greatest ninja reflex to see it from his peripherals), but the everyday occurrence that if something had bothered me at work, or my deepest darkest thoughts that randomly hit me, I could tell him and not be judged for it. This goes for the same vice versa. Just showing up for each other, and being there for each other really makes the bond so much stronger and different.

Things that were lacking in my past - it was finally all being shown to me at last. I wish I could explain and put it into words but I'm just so happy that I could giggle like a kid in a candy shop. 

Although things have been quite hectic this year and we didn't get to go on our annual anniversary trip, one thing's for sure: I don't really care where we go, or if we stay home - all I know is I'm super grateful to have him. 

Happy 3 years Anniversary babe :) 

Ladies, if you got yourself a good man, embrace him. Appreciate him. Don't be stupid and think the grass is always greener on the other side - if anything, that is the biggest downfall.