Chanel Experience/Reveal

I first fell in love with the classic medium double flap over a year ago. But as the price increased to ridiculous amounts, I just couldn't justify dropping a huge amount over what I could've bought 100 reasonable purses for that amount of money.

As the months went by, my focus shifted from a double flap to something more miniature. It is called the wallet on chain (or WOC for short). The WOC is basically what it is: a wallet with a long chain attached to it. They do try to make enough space so you can fit your essentials inside, but you won't be able to fit your entire life inside it. I'm used to carrying a lot of things with me, both necessary and unnecessary items, so this is like downgrading from a mansion to a rental room, so to speak.

There are a lot of companies out there that make WOC. For example, YSL, Gucci, Prada (on the luxury end) and Coach, Kate Spade, Tory Burch (on the contemporary end), so there are a variety of choices and styles to choose from. It all really depends what you want in terms of style and material. And also what fits your budget.

Unfortunately, with Chanel's ridiculous price increases ever so often on purses, the WOCs are also affected by the price adjustment. Seasonal pieces come and go but the classics will always be classics.

I fell in love with the classic piece. There are a few in the classic line, but the most common one was the caviar leather with the small CCs up front by the button closure. To me, that was what everyone had if they had to have a WOC. You can match it with any wardrobe, from casual to elegant nights out. I wanted something classic but a bit different than the rest. Something different but fun in a chic way.

As soon as I saw a picture of it on the website, I knew I had to get it. And I aimed for many months for that goal.

Unfortunately with M's passing, I had to put a halt to it. I actually forgot about it completely for a while because I was so preoccupied with his loss. After some time had passed, I tried to refocus and aim for that goal. It was unsettling, because this would be my first WOC purchased without him being here. Because of that, this is how I will remember this piece, and it will forever have a place in my heart.

Yorkdale's Chanel had 2 WOCs in stock in the style that I wanted. Unfortunately as I took my time to figure out whether to wait or not, one got sold. Now there was one left. I figured it is the Christmas rush, and who knows when the price is going up again. Who knows when they will get another stock in, as these WOCs only come in limited amounts.

The SA (Keisha) took her time with me, and let me try out all the WOCs and different styles that I was debating. I was really stuck between 2 classics, but the ultimate decision was how it would look on me. She was really patient with me and allowed me all the time in the world to try it out, and then gave me time to decide. She gave me her card and if I was ready, to give her a call.

That same day, I decided to go for it. It was purchased roughly around the same anniversary date as when we took M home 18 years ago.

Ladies and gentleman, this is my reveal. This is in memory of M.

The famous black bag that it comes in.

 (Don't mind the terrible ribbon wrap. I had to unwrap it first to make sure everything was there before retying it)

Another view of the box wrapped up.

Up close of the beautiful Camellia flower. Usually it's in white, but maybe it's the Christmas season, so this one came in silver. Again, I like how it's different than the rest. It just makes it more memorable.

After the ribbon was removed, it's just a plain black box. I ended up sticking the Camellia on the front.

The package that it comes in: care cards, receipt with its own envelope, and dustbag.

Here is the WOC wrapped in the dust bag. It's a nice, soft velvet-like material. Very nicely done.

Ok, the moment of truth....

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Here it is.

I wish there was a specific name for it, but from what the site says, it is called the WOC in quilted calfskin with a long chain, as part of the Cambon style. This is the front view. It is not a puffy material like the lambskin, nor does it feel that delicate. It has a matte finish to it, but it is smooth and has a nice touch to it. The front CC is in patent leather, so it does have a shine to it. The CC logo is off to one side, half cut off, unlike the other classic ones with the CC in the middle. It looks weird in pictures, but in person I fell in love with it. I'll include more info at the end of this entry.

The back view. The Cambon WOC does not come with a back pocket, like the other classics. As much as I wanted a back pocket, it was a small sacrifice I could live with. As what SA said, Chanel tries to vary their WOCs. So not all WOCs will have back pockets.

This is a side shot. Hard to see all details but you can tell it's not very wide. You can either carry this as a small bag, or put the chains inside and make it a clutch or use it as an actual wallet. 

An overview of the inside. This is what made me fall for this WOC. Because the interior is a bright pink. The classics come in a signature burgundy or sometimes even black interior. But I wanted something different. Not all WOCs will have the same interior colour.

The flap shot. So there is a zipper compartment that goes all the way down to the end of the purse. Some people put money in there, or their authenticity card, or some important documents. To me, it just feels it's too much work to put stuff in there. Most likely it will remain empty. I haven't thought of what to do with it yet.

There are 3 separate compartments aside from the card slot holders. There are 6 card holders, along with a main compartment to put your phone, keys, lip stick, make up, perfume or whatever small essentials you may carry. 2 open compartments can be used for flat storage. The third is a zipper compartment where you can put coins and bills inside.

Up close view of the zipper.

My attempt at making a heart with the long chain. Failed pretty bad, but I'll try again in the future. Beside it is the authenticity card and care card.

As you can tell, the chain is long but there are many ways to wear this WOC. This is just one way. Similar to a double flap bag. 

The CC in patent leather.

So just a summary of the information:

Name: Wallet on Chain in quilted calfskin leather

Collection: Cambon

Theme: Signature

Size: 19cm (length) X 12.5cm (height) X 3.5cm (width) 

Made in: France

Hardware: Silver

Closure: Snap closure button

Exterior: Calfskin leather with patent leather on the CC logo. No back pocket. Long leather chain intertwined with silver hardware, non-detachable.

Interior: 6 card holders, 1 main compartment, 2 flat compartments, 1 zipper coin compartment, 1 zipper deep compartment

Ways to wear: cross-body, over the shoulder (long chain), over the shoulder (double short chain), clutch (chain inside)

Thanks for reading. And if you are reading this M, just know that you are non-replaceable. Nothing in this world can replace you, and nothing in this world can bring you back to me. A bag will not bring you back, but it will serve as a reminder that you are always by my side, wherever I go. You will forever be in my heart. 

M is home. Welcome home :')

Good news everyone.....M is finally home :')

It has been an agonizing 3 weeks since he's passed. Each passing day, I feel like a knife has stabbed me in the heart. Because I always wonder when he's coming home again. Or if they got the ashes mixed up with another pet. It's the fear of the unknown that makes the brain run wild, set all emotions high, and break a person down.

I'm not sure whether all vets are like this or not, but when you cremate your pet, it takes about a week for the ashes to come back home. If you decide to have a special urn for your pet, it supposedly takes a bit longer in order to get the urn specially made. For M's case, it took 2 weeks, plus another 4 days because we were deciding which urn to choose.

Heading to the vet today was emotional. It rained earlier on so the roads were wet, but the weather was still gloomy. It reminded me of the day we took his body to the vet to send for cremation. Almost exactly 3 weeks ago, it was a gloomy rainy weather too. It brought back a lot of memories/flashbacks to that day, and that's why it was emotional.

When we got inside to pick up the urn, they had labeled the bag with M's name on it. The urn was wrapped in tissue paper, along with a clear bag. The engraving with his name on it was included as well, along with a memory poem. It was up to us how we wanted to stick it on the urn, so that was really thoughtful of them. It also came with a certificate and a sympathy card from the crematorium to say that this was indeed M's ashes, and that he was cremated with honour and respect.

After paying the vet, we said our goodbyes to the secretary. And I believe this is what set both my mom and I off emotionally. Because the lady had said maybe see you in the future if you decide to adopt another kitty.

I believe she meant well. But for us it was still too early for that. Getting another kitty right now would seem that I'm betraying M. I'm not sure what the future holds, but for now the mourning and acceptance has not happened yet. And it won't be fair to another kitty to not feel the love from the family.

The urn sits on top of his favourite cat condo, which was purchased about 17 years ago. Right beside it is a digital photo frame with his photos over the years in a slideshow, and a stuffed orange cat plushie I had bought my mom for Mother's day.

Although he is now officially home and with us forever, there is still the pain that remains: physically I can't see him. It still hurts, and it feels like part of me died with him when he passed. Hopefully with time, and now that his urn is home, it will be a bit easier to start accepting the truth. But just with any death of a loved one, it's hard to forcefully accept it. The images of him in the last few hours will forever be engraved in my head, but hopefully with time, the 18 years of memories will diminish those last few hours and replace it with happier times. 

Thanks to everyone for being so supportive during this time. We are just blessed and grateful that he is home, just in time for Christmas. That's the only thing we wished for this Christmas...for him to be home with us. 

Random Thoughts

With Christmas just around the corner, there are many things to be thankful for. For example: life, family, food, water, clothes and shelter. Be thankful for the things in life. Everything else that comes after that is just extra stuff. It's a time of love and giving, and to celebrate Jesus' birth on Christmas Day. Let's not forget to put the Christ in Christmas.

Lately because of what's been happening, life became a blur. Work was just work. School course was just meh. Eating became a chore, not a necessity. Sleep became non-existent. Tears became a habit. Going outside for walks became a scare. It all became stress.

And then of course I got sick.

At first I thought maybe it's the flu. But I know my body's response more than the doctors. Although it is flu season, I knew this wasn't the flu. It was sickness induced by stress. Weird thing is, it always happens around December to January. I always get stressed around this time for some reason. And of course I always get really bad colds around this time too. I remember one year when I was sick for the last half of December, sick during the transition to the new year, recovered for about a week, and then got sick again until mid March. That was probably the longest duration of being sick with a cold/lung infection/ear infection/vertigo. It didn't help that I was straight night shifts too.

So word of advice: stress sucks. And night shifts don't help your recovery either.

At least I achieved something I haven't achieved in years. I managed to finish all my course work in about 6 hours. After I had enrolled in an online course to complete my certification, M passed away a few days later. It was really difficult to focus on readings and school work (and is still difficult now), but I knew this had to be done. M saw all the hard work I had put in my courses over the years. I'm pretty sure he wants me to finish and complete this certification, even if he isn't physically here to celebrate with me when I complete it. 

So for weeks I didn't touch my course work. Until last night when a major assignment was due. I said...crap. I have a lot of catching up to do. And away I went to read articles, decipher them, discuss them with classmates online, submitting discussions and all my assignments (totally screwing one up in the process. Had to rewrite everything again using different references). By 11pm, it was all done. I looked at everything and said...no way. I'm done?! It was time to eat dinner.

When your body and your brain is so focused on finishing a bunch of things, it just goes into adrenaline mode. You can't feel hunger. So I was surprised how hungry I was after working away for most of the day without eating. Haven't done that in a long time.

It would be nice to take walks around the neighbourhood or around a mall just to cool off the brain, but you know, these days it's so hard to predict what would happen. With this whole ISIS that's going on, or just random attacks from some random stranger, it's almost like you can't even step out of your place without being attacked by someone. Going to malls is now a scary thing. After the discovery of a crashed Mercedes C-Class a week ago around Yorkdale Mall, and police finding sniper equipments, along with ammunition, it's a scary thing. And then a random stabbing at STC. Then another random stabbing in the underground PATH by a 40 year old TD bank financial advisor...mind you, she is very educated. You would not think that it's possible, but it is. A smart, well educated woman, who looks very professional and pretty, and is now wanted for attempted murder. 

With Christmas coming near, and shopping malls becoming more packed, it becomes a scary situation. If someone really wanted to harm people, and I mean a lot of people, a mall would be a target. I don't want to sound too pessimistic or scare people, but that's what puts me off on going to malls now. Even driving around the city, you never know who will be driving beside you. It's almost like you have to arm your own car with bazookas and aim at the bad guys.

It sucks. I really love malls. I like window shopping; walking around the mall is calming for me. And now it's like you have to watch your back because you never know what is lurking behind you (aside from a secret admirer or stalker or something).

Speaking of which, there's that TV show called Stalker. Watched the first season and it FREAKED ME OUT! The worst is I would always watch the show at night by myself in the dark. So it didn't help the situation either. Eventually I get creeped out if I turned off the screen light and turn around to sleep, and BOOM! There is a creepy man looking at me. So far it hasn't happened yet, so maybe it's just my imagination.

So back to malls and shopping. I had set my eyes on this nice WOC, but had to put that to a halt because of the mourning period. It just doesn't seem right at all to go out and shop after a death. So I don't know. Maybe when some time has passed, I'll aim for that goal again. But for now, it just doesn't seem right to just go out and shop to forget about things or distract myself.

I read in the news about how the Toronto police had arrested people for allegedly working an auto theft ring, which ships cars out to Nigeria for transporting illegal weapons and drugs. The cars were high end SUVs and CUVs which were all brand new. They were all stolen from driveways less than a month of ownership from unsuspecting owners. There was someone who had worked for Service Ontario, who had access to all the new registered cars, all the VINs and then the addresses of these owners. He would pass the information to a key maker, who encoded those vehicle specific VINs to make the keys (I wish I knew more about how that was possible but I'm not techie), and then pass those keys to the suspects, which then would wait until owners were asleep, before accessing the cars. There would be no indication of the cars being broken into, since they had a copied key. The cars would then be shipped to Nigeria, sold for half their value, and then used for illegal purposes.

Man, I still like CUVs. But it really puts me off from buying one in the future, because of the high risk of it being stolen. It's also another reason why I tell friends and family to buy coupes or convertibles. Because you can't fit anything in there. You can transport a dead body, but you can't transport an entire army of dead bodies. Plus you can't fit a bazooka, because it's probably bigger than a coupe. HA!

One year I bought a box of diapers for a family member. This is a standard sized diaper box. I could not fit it in the coupe's trunk. I had to put it in the passenger seat. So if I can't fit a box of diapers in my trunk, how will people fit a bunch of weapons and ammunitions in there?! See my point? Buy a coupe. It's so useless it's awesome. It will become a problem if I ever have a kid because the poor kid will not have any diapers to use. 

So a few weeks back, I was driving in the evening on the lovely 401 when about halfway through my journey, I noticed a very distinct headlight in my rearview mirror. It was the new 2015 R8 V10 coupe in black with red accents. I've seen pictures of it but never saw it in person until that night. I thought it would go around to pass me and drive fast off into the distance but it stayed behind me for a good 20 minutes. When I changed lanes, he changed lanes. When I got back into the right lane, he followed. It was kind of cool to see. I was doing the limit and so was he (or she). It wasn't until we got to the highway splitting part that the R8 changed lanes to pass me to get to the on ramp. It was so cool to admire. Then some jackass in a white TL (I think, my memory becomes fuzzy after seeing the R8) decides to change lanes and tailgate the R8. The R8 never really budged. Just continued to drive normally. What do you expect dude? Race against the R8? Ain't happening.

I can respect those super car owners who drive normally in traffic and not drive like the world is going to end. Because to drivers like myself, it's cool to cruise beside or in front of those super cars. It's a beautiful machine to observe. It's just...so cool. Of course I concentrate on not crashing either. But I'm not one of those to whip out my camera to take pictures of every super car that passes by. For me, seeing and driving beside one is already pretty surreal. When you're fumbling with your camera and trying to focus on the car and get a pretty picture, you take away that real life experience of seeing it with your own eyes. And nothing beats that real life experience.

Speaking of super cars, I put on my wish list for secret santa for a Lamborghini Huracan. A real one. I feel sorry for whoever got my name. But just for jokes, everyone who is involved in the wish list ended up putting random things (along with their real wishes...you can totally tell which is real and which is fake). So for mine, I put a Huracan. I would be really surprised if I saw it on my driveway, but that's just wishful thinking.

I had my first experience with Kijiji the other day and it was bleh. I can understand now why people say it's sketchy because it can be. Lots of low ballers both online and in person too. I had to deal with a Jewish man, who was trying to pass off my item to his wife as "brand new" when it was slightly used. Kind of cheap and sneaky if you ask me (no offence). So unless I am really desperate to sell stuff online to random people, I will try to avoid at all costs. Just not a very good experience. 

Anyways that's all I can think of right now. Waiting for M's ashes to come home is taking forever. Hence why it's been stressful lately too.

Cheers to everyone. Stay safe this coming Christmas. God bless everyone.

Losing a Companion

So how do you deal with the passing of a loved one, or a companion?

The answer is....well, there really isn't one straight answer. I believe it's dependent on a lot of things.

I'll be focusing on the pet aspect. Prior to my cat, M, I haven't had any pets. Except a tank of goldfish. And as a kid, I learned that goldfish's life span did not last very long. But that's the thing. I never really had that connection with a goldfish. With a cat or dog, it becomes more on an emotional level and you get that sense of connection.

As a kid, I've always liked cats. I tried to like dogs but I was scared of them. Maybe because the neighbours had big dogs that looked intimidating. But maybe it was that intimidation that also made me liked cats. I'm not exactly sure. But I knew that I had (and still do) have the heart for cats. There was something about them that really drew me towards them.

I remember going to shopping malls and in some malls they have pet stores which allow you to touch kittens. As a kid, that was the most exciting thing about going to the mall: touching a kitten! Every time my parents took me to the mall, I had to go to the pet store and stare at the kittens. If I was lucky, I would pet one. But my parents wouldn't allow me to get one from the pet store. They had taught me that there are other kittens who look exactly like pet store kittens, but they are put somewhere else. And that somewhere else turned out to be a shelter. I remember asking what the difference was. Aside from price difference, the one that got to me was that those in the shelters are unwanted kittens. And in my tiny brain as a child, I thought what! That's so mean, why would people not want these kittens? Why would people just throw them there when they are tiny babies? What about their moms? It broke my heart. I knew I had to go and save one if that's what mattered.

You know what they say about kids? That they have some weird sixth sense that just can't be explained? It's sort of what happened too when I went to select a kitten from the adoption agency. On that day, there were some kittens but not a huge amount. After looking around, I didn't really see one that I felt connected to. But when that second round of kittens was delivered, I went to check it out again. I saw this tiny orange tabby that hid behind every kitten in that kennel. And for some odd reason, I chose that one. The other 3 kittens had their noses up against the cage, meowing in unison, as if saying "pick me!" yet that fourth kitten was the only one who did not say anything. Never uttered a meow. It just went to hide in the back.

And to this day, I can't explain why I chose him. Kids just know. But I'm so happy that I did. Because for almost 18 years, M brought us so much joy. He survived past the average life span of a cat. I have known friends who owned cats for barely 2 years before it passed. And they were so heartbroken. At that time, I kept saying to myself...I hope I won't ever have to go through something like that.

"That" is what exactly? I think part of it was dealing with the death of a pet. I mean yes, as a child, I believed that life in the physical form is temporary, but we all have souls that live forever. I knew my goldfish died and that was it. I had grandparents who also passed away, same with friends and family friends. But there's just something so different when you are so close with your pet, that when they pass away, you feel as if the whole world just crashed down on you.

And that's how the past 2 weeks or so has been. It really felt like my world came crashing down on me. All the plans that I had, the goals that I dreamt of, the Christmas plans for this year...they all came to a halt. I have never mourned for any human to this degree. I have never cried for a human for this long. I have never felt so heartbroken over a cat.

I believe the degree of mourning has also to do with how close you come attached to your pet. In my case, I was attached to M from day 1, which was 18 years ago. From the time I selected him, to the time he was brought home, to all the time spent playing with him, training him, talking to him, cuddling him, crying to him, celebrating with him...he became a little brother to me. And I felt that I had to protect him and take care of him. When you see your pet as a family member (even though they are not from the same gene pool), you really do feel that emotional connection with them. When you treat them well and love them like your own, they will feel it. And they will return that love to you.

Just like humans, pets get old and get sick. They may have to take medication for their condition or go in for expensive treatments or surgeries. As a pet owner, you do whatever you can to try and sustain their life. Because they are family. And you do whatever you can for family. Then there are times of regrets. If I had done this earlier, would they still be alive? If we had gone to this vet earlier, he wouldn't have had so much bloodwork done. The Ifs, Buts and Whens. Those still eat away at me every single day. Being in the health care field, I felt useless and hopeless that I couldn't do anything to save his life. I help other people that I don't even know to have a better life, yet I couldn't save M's life. People tell me he's had a long life, and in human years he would be close to 100. So he's had a great long life because of us. But that's the thing. Those very last hours of his life, I wish I could have done something to help him.

Which brings me to euthanasia. It's such a debatable topic, but in the end it really depends what your grounds of foundation come from. When pets are going through terrible suffering and end of life crisis, vets always recommend euthanasia. It just puts them out of their misery. If only pets could also speak. I wonder what they would say.

In M's case, he was going through congestive heart failure. CHF occurs in humans as well, and similar to lung cancer, there are 4 stages. Stage 1 being the "pre heart failure" phase which can be controlled via medications, diet and exercise, and then there's Stage 4, which is the final stage before either a heart transplant or palliative care. CHF can be controlled and maintained, but there is no cure, unless you go for a heart transplant, and even then there is no guarantee. In cats, it's similar that CHF can be controlled via medications. Unfortunately in M's case, the diagnosis of CHF was too late for him. He was already in Stage 4. No amount of medications would have helped him at this point.

Vets have the obligation to notify the families about various choices when it comes to situations like this. In M's case, it was either 1) do all the tests, monitor him overnight but can't guarantee if he will survive through the night or 2) euthanasia. The choice of surgery was not even mentioned, as the vet didn't think he would make it through the night, let alone surgery. So when you get that bombshell right in front of you at that moment, wouldn't you start freaking out? I know I did.

It's a bombshell because less than 24 hours ago, he was still walking and breathing fine. He was still eating and using the washroom. 12 hours prior, he didn't look so good, but after a Lasix shot, he looked better. And then gradually, I noticed he didn't look as good as before. By 8pm, he looked terrible. By 10:25pm, he passed away.

The vets and technicians involved in M's care saw and knew he wasn't doing so well, and he didn't have much time (although the vet estimated his maximum life span at that point was 2 days). But because they've seen many cases, bad or worse, they've always suggested euthanasia to put the pets out of misery. And they continued to push that on us, during a time when we were still trying to figure out what to do. When your emotions run very high at that point, you may not be able to think straight. So sometimes the vet's suggestions make sense at that point.

However, my family and I didn't feel it was right. Part of me still had hope he would make it through the night. I wanted to be with him one last time, if indeed this was the last time I got to see him. If we kept him overnight at the hospital, all of us would not be able to be there. Maybe one person, but wasn't a guarantee. The vet said he would call to update us on his condition during the night if that's what we wanted. But we didn't feel right leaving M there by himself. If he passed, he would pass away alone.

When I look back at our decision to bring him home versus leaving him there for the night, or euthanize him on the spot, I didn't look back at that with regret. Instead, I'm thankful that he passed away with his family surrounding him. And that he passed away naturally. We didn't need to speed things up, we didn't need to end his misery, and he didn't suffer for very long before he passed.

I just wished cats could somehow speak to us, as weird as it is. But it's that last moment, if you could only get that confirmation from them....a confirmation which says "I love you, thank you for doing this for me, instead of giving me the needle", then it would put me at ease. That it was the right thing to do, and that it would be easier to move on.

But to this day, I'm not sure if that was the "right" thing to do. Was I selfish for not putting him down? Was I too greedy for taking him home instead of leaving him at the hospital? Again, the ifs and buts continue to haunt.

The most important thing though is the promise that we were taking him home. If we had told him that and left him at the hospital, he would be heartbroken. But we didn't. We didn't break that promise. We promised him we were taking him home and we did. Even though he was in distress, he knew we were all there for him. And I believe that's why he passed so quick. He felt the love from us, yet he still fought hard to spend his last few minutes with us.

It's still not easy to this day, as our daily routine of 18 years has now changed. Everything in the house reminds us of him. From the grass to the basement, from the enclosure to the car...everything reminds us of him. There are no more wake up calls of meows (or in my case, M used to open my door to come and wake me up...but now my door remains closed), no more waiting by the front entrance to welcome us home, no more nails clicking against the floor when he walks, no more nagging us to open the door to get a whiff of fresh air, no more waiting for me to get out of the shower, no more changing food bowls. Now it's just....empty. And eerily quiet.

People say things do get better over time. It just takes time to mourn and grieve. But when you've had a pet companion that lasts for over half your life, it becomes really difficult. Especially when they have been in your life since childhood. The grieving process is where it will take the longest time. Hopefully in time, I will have accepted that M is now in a better place, away from suffering.

Uber vs. Taxi

Most of Torontonians know about today (or I mean yesterday's) protest in the downtown core, where taxi drivers from all companies gathered to protest the operation of Uber.

What is Uber? In short, it's a transportation network company and uses an app on your phone to call for nearby Uber drivers to take you to your destination. From what people have said, it's more reliable than taking traditional taxis.

There are a few downfalls. Most important is insurance and licensing fees. Unlike taxi companies who pay for insurance and license to operate, Uber drivers are not licensed to operate taxicabs. So taxi drivers have complained that this is unsafe and illegal practice. Due to continuous competition, taxi drivers also lose out on profit to Uber drivers.

Ok, I understand that taxi drivers are unhappy because other unlicensed taxi drivers out there are stealing business and making more profit but not following protocol. But to hold up downtown traffic, which by the way affected all major routes and highways in Toronto, does NOT solve the issue of having Uber drivers. Not only that but those who rely on taxis to get them to work found that they were unable to find taxis because...well...they were all protesting. So of course what did they do? Call Uber! There have also been clips of some unethical practices from the taxi drivers themselves.

For example, one taxi driver accused a driver in a Civic sedan of being an Uber driver, carrying a passenger in the backseat. The taxi driver stood in front of the Civic, holding up traffic behind. He then started to try and smash the window and open the door. The driver tried to take off, but the taxi driver decided to hang on for dear life onto the door handle of the Civic. This was all caught on camera and broadcasted across various networks.

It sort of reminded me of the time when the car in front of me did not know how to drive properly. Approaching a 4-way, the guy in front of me stops, and then takes off. And then stops...IN THE MIDDLE OF THE INTERSECTION. No pedestrians, no traffic. He just stops. If he had a heart attack I can understand, but he was very much alive. After I stopped and started to go and almost run into him, I give a honk. But he just sort of drove slow, then stopped. At this point I was already late in picking up someone, so I decided to go around him. Then he starts honking like mad. I ignored him and continued on with my journey.

I stopped at the office, and thankfully my dad was sitting beside me in the car. Because the next thing I know, there is this loud knock on my window. And this angry man is yelling at me. Telling me that I'm a dangerous driver, and that I shouldn't be driving. Maybe because I'm a female? Who knows. Then he threatens to report me to the cops and tries to "memorize" my plates, at the same time still trying to yell at me, and telling me he works for security. This was my breaking point. I came out, loaded with my....umbrella. Pointed at him, and said "YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO DRIVE PROPERLY YOU PIECE OF CRAP. GO BACK TO DRIVING SCHOOL. AND BY THE WAY, DON'T EVER TOUCH MY CAR EVER AGAIN!"

At that point he just walked away. That's right. FEAR THE UMBRELLA!!!! But seriously, if someone punched my car, that's like punching me, and I will retaliate. Except next time it's with a bat.

So going back to the Civic driver, I could just imagine the fear going through his head when some crazy dude comes walking up to the car and basically starts vandalizing it. He tried to get himself and his passenger out of the situation by not killing anyone.

Another clip showed an ambulance with its sirens on, trying to drive through a main street, when 2 taxi drivers in front of the ambulance would not move over. This was the one that pissed me off the most. As a health care professional, that is either life or death. And we want to try and save that person's life obviously. If that person had coded in the ambulance, they have 4 minutes to resuscitate before that person goes brain dead.  Doing CPR in a moving vehicle is not easy. But arriving in a hospital with way more equipment will help buy some time. So that's why what those 2 taxi drivers did, was very unethical. If that person had died before reaching the hospital, they should put manslaughter charges against those 2 taxi drivers. Absolutely ridiculous and unacceptable.

Taxi drivers are trying to protest their rights, but they are doing it the wrong way. They make themselves look like fools. Obviously not all taxi drivers are like that, but so far from what their reactions have been, they are not winning any hearts right now.

I have not had any experience with Uber so I can't say if it's been good or not to me, but I have taken taxis before, from drunken nights to airport rides home. Not only are they super expensive, but they are aggressive drivers, don't follow rules, and they don't stop the timer on time, so it requires me to pay more. The worst is when they didn't take my luggage out of the trunk. They just sit in the driver seat counting money. If it's part of your job description, do it. I'm not going to tell my physically challenged patient to wipe their own ass when they crap themselves. I'm doing it because it's part of my job description. So in a similar way, I'm not wiping my own ass here if I'm paying you to do it for me.

Thankfully there are no more drunken nights. I'm too old for those anyways. But if I could rewind back, I wouldn't take the taxi. I would drink, pass out in my car, sleep in my car overnight, and then drive home in the morning. At least with parking around the entertainment areas, you could pay until the morning and it will still be fine. I'm actually very fortunate and blessed that I can drive myself to places and not have to rely on public transportation anymore. It's come to the point where the only person I trust is myself (and God) in getting to places on time and in a safe manner. If for un-forseen circumstances my car broke down, my first call would not be to a taxi company. It would be to my folks or loved ones.

So, what's the solution? First one is stop acting like assholes. Second: don't make it a public protest like this ever again. You have an issue? Bring it to the table inside the office. But using stupid ways to garner attention through media is the dumbest way possible. Have some decency and some self respect for yourselves will you? You know Toronto is an embarrassment when the Chinese media picks up on the Uber/Taxi protest and broadcasts it to Asia. Now that's embarrassing.

It's been 2 weeks since my beloved cat passed away, and I'm still in mourning. But this issue and how taxi drivers are handling situations have made my blood boil. Now that I have finished my rant (sort of), I will return to my mourning. Peace out.

In Memory of M

This post is dedicated to my cat, whom I call "M", also know as "sexy boy" and "chicken".

When I was 5 years old, my mom had brought home a kitten from a coworker whose cat gave birth to kittens. I was super excited because it was so adorable and soft. Unfortunately as a 5 year old, I had no idea how to handle it. More like mishandled it. Plus dad was never a fan of pets so the kitten was given back the next day. I was very sad. I then asked my mom when could I have a cat, and she replied "when you turn 10".

Well, 5 years later I still remembered that promise, and when I was nearing 11, I asked....where's my cat? She then had the look on her face like "oh crap, how did she remember?! I didn't even remember?!"

In December 1997, my brother, mom and I made a trip to the Humane Society and went to look for a kitten. There was a small area where all the kittens were held and on that day, they didn't have many selections. After browsing through, I couldn't find a kitten that I really liked. We were on the verge of leaving when the staff started bringing a few more kittens. So we waited until they were unloaded. We stepped in once again to see. In this one kennel held 4 kittens. 3 kittens were at the door meowing and pawing. I then saw one orange/white tabby and said "that one!" Well, "that one" was hiding in the back behind the 3 kittens up front. He looked about a month old or less. So tiny, but so cute. He was adopted and taken home.

And from that day on, we called him M, sexy boy, and chicken.

The first day we brought M home, we got him to get familiar with the environment. So M started walking up and down the stairs, sniffing out where his litter box would be, and his place of sleep, food, everything. When my dad came home from work, you can imagine what his reaction was. "WHAT IS THAT THING?! AND WHY IS IT IN THE HOUSE?!"

This time though, all 3 of us said we are keeping M. He is staying and is our newest addition to our family.

The first night was hard because we didn't want M to run around or scratch anything, so dad suggested we put him in the basement. The entire night we heard M howling. The next morning, we told him he is never being put in the basement again. We moved his bed upstairs, closer to everyone. Eventually as we got used to him, and seeing he wasn't peeing or pooing everywhere, we all left our doors open for him to sleep with us.

M used to love jumping on my bed and walk over to my table and knock things over as he tried to pass through. There were times he didn't mean to, and then times he purposely did it so I would get up to feed him. But generally speaking, M was a good boy. He wouldn't start meowing until my foot stepped on the floor. If I was still in bed, he would just stare. He also had a habit of walking across the pillow, but not actually touching our heads. In a way, it was his sign of saying "I'm hungry, please feed me".

As a kitten, M loved attention. He would climb up to our laps during meal times and plop himself down and start sleeping. It was the most adorable thing ever. He did that mostly with mom, because he knew that she was mommy. It was all the warmth that kept him so safe and happy. There were times I fell asleep on the chair, and he would climb up and plop himself in my arms and fall asleep.

I remember the first time I saw him plopped on my bed. I almost freaked out because there was going to be a bunch of fur everywhere. However, that's what lint rollers are for. So we all got used to it when we found him sleeping in our beds. We just had to make sure we cleaned all the fur off. During the early years, he would take turns sleeping with all of us on our beds. I think knowing that he was around one of us for the night made him feel safer and warm.

I taught him how to open doors, just for fun. I never knew he would actually catch on to it, but over the years it benefited him when he was scared of guests and wanted to hide. This is why we called him chicken. Because he was afraid of people he didn't know. As soon as a doorbell rang, he would run upstairs, go to one of the bedrooms, and start touching the closest handle. Eventually he got the door open and he would make his hiding place there. He then used that to learn how to open closet sliding doors to hide in as well. Over the years, he made the closet his sleeping place if he didn't want to sleep in his bed.

M is an indoor cat but we let him out during the summer months for him to get some fresh air. The first few times we accompanied him outside to help him get familiar with the backyard, and also taught him to not go under the fence. He never climbed fences. One day, we noticed he hadn't come back for some time and went out to look for him. He wasn't in the backyard. That's when all of us got all panicked. We called his name, looked under the tree and bush, but there was nothing. We went back inside and were trying to figure out what to do next when we heard this weird knocking sound coming from the front entrance. We went to the front door, opened it, and we saw him standing on 2 feet, pawing at the outside enclosure door knob. He must have went under the fence and realized things didn't look familiar to him. He found a door, and started to paw at the door handle. Thankfully that door was our enclosure door. Since that day, he hasn't repeated it. M was so smart.

M gained weight during his early adult years and the heaviest was around 23 pounds. His appetite was really good. But we knew he had to start shedding some pounds as it was not good for him. We played with him more and made him run around more. M is just like a little brother. He was always so happy.

M never scratched furniture, never made a mess on the floor, never attacked anyone, never went through garbage and made a mess. He did drink out of the toilet bowl a few times, so we had to make sure the top was completely covered. After that he stopped doing that. But he was never a bad cat. He was a good boy who listened and he learned to not repeat the same mistakes.

A few years ago we noticed him throwing up undigested and digested food. At first we thought oh maybe just hairball, or maybe just cleaning out his system. But it became more frequent. The vet diagnosed him with hyperthyroidism, and they also noticed a slight heart murmur, because his heart rate seemed a bit faster than normal cats. He was put on thyroid medication, and dosing would have to be adjusted according to blood work results. In a way, it was like a human getting old and having to take pills for their health issues. It was sad because then it hit me...M is aging just like the rest of us. To me, he was still this small kitten we took home years ago. But as long as he was on the medication, he would feel better and live longer.

With hyperthyroidism, when the "T-4" levels become very high, it overstimulates the body's organs. It speeds up metabolism so M would eat a lot but would lose weight. His body was not absorbing the important nutrients and calories. It overworks the heart, which meant his heart was beating faster and working faster. It can also affect the kidney, which can lead to kidney problems. Thankfully his kidneys were normal. We saw M drop from 23 pounds to 8 pounds in less than a year. That's like saying someone who weighed 200 pounds dropping to 80 pounds. It was a huge ratio. But after starting the medications, his diet slowly improved and he started to gain some weight back.

Even on medication, he was still a happy boy. He wasn't as active or playful as when he was younger, but he was still so cute. Every time he saw me, he would try to run, or he would give up and lay down on the floor because he knew I was coming to carry him. Because I loved him so dearly. As I got older and busy with school, I was not able to play with him as much as when I was a kid.

M was there through many of life's milestones. M saw me graduate from elementary school, from high school, from university, saw me achieve my piano diploma, my first job, and the start of my career, my first real relationship, my first car. M saw my brother get married, meet his "nieces" (because we always joked he became an uncle), saw him start his career as well, his first house. M saw my parents both retire, birthday milestones, anniversary milestones. M was truly like a little brother and a son to us. We have been so blessed that we could share many milestones with him.

On November 26, 2015 (the American Thanksgiving Day), I noticed him laying on the floor, very weak, and using his accessory muscles to breathe. Few days before, he didn't look as sick, but he was always sleeping. He walked mostly to the washroom, or to eat or drink. But most of the time remained in bed. And that's the thing, cats are good at hiding their problems. But this day was very different than the rest. We took him to the vet, and the vet found he had some fluids in his lungs. He gave him a Lasix shot to make him pee out the fluids. He was also prescribed a heart medication along with Lasix to help the fluid control, and to also help his heart. And that if he wasn't taking the medications, he would have to come back the next morning to get another shot.

He was brought home and urinated. Then he went back to his bed and started to sleep. But then his breathing was getting worse. He would be very restless, using all his accessory muscles to breathe. He would climb out of his box and lay on the floor, to be in various positions to help him breathe easier. Eventually he crawled to the vent. He knew there was air shooting out from there, and was putting his face over the vent to breathe. We took him to the hospital as this was a terrible thing to witness and experience. He was going into congestive heart failure, and it was affecting his lungs. They put him on oxygen and IV drips to help calm him down.

The attending vet came to us to deliver some bad news. His prognosis was very poor. He had multiple issues that even with all the tests and medical interventions, he can't guarantee he would live until the next morning. We had a couple options. Either keep him there for the night and pay all the fees to do the tests to sustain his life, or euthanize him. This was the most difficult decision of our lives. It hurt my parents and I that we had to come to this agreement and conclusion in a short time. There were many tears, and many uncertainties but yet we still had hope that he would pull through. That he would still be with us for a little bit longer.

Eventually we made a decision, but it was none of the above. We wanted to take him home. If he passed away, we wanted him to be at home and not in an unfamiliar place with a bunch of tubes and machines, and with no family beside him.

Of course the vet and technicians kept trying to tell us that was against medical advice. I didn't care. I signed the papers to release him. When they brought him back out in the kennel, they guided us to a smaller room, because they were still trying to convince us to put him out of his misery. It was at this point that we opened the door, and saw our sweet M laying there, his condition unchanged. He seemed to be breathing a bit louder than before. I saw his poor arm, bandaid up from where they inserted an IV. By this time I had lost it. I started to cry non stop. My parents were the ones consoling M, petting him, and telling him we are going home M. You're not staying here but we're bringing you home. And I think M understood because he tried to move his head so he could see us better, but he was so weak. We saw a tear shed from his eye and roll down his furry face. It was the most heartbreaking thing to witness.

We got him loaded up into our car and made the 15 minute journey home. Along the way, we kept telling him we are going home, we are going home. We are almost home M. We love you. We love you very much. Be a strong boy. You are a fighter. We love you.

About 5 minutes from home, as I was driving, I heard a loud sigh. And then silence. And I knew...I just knew at that point, he was gone. But they say, hearing is the last sense to go. So we kept telling him we love him. When we finally got home, we rushed inside to open the kennel. Unfortunately, M was already gone. But he was home. And that's the most important thing. We cried, we caressed him, and we told him he was so brave. He held on for so long, because he knew he was coming home. He was happy and relieved he wasn't staying in hospital. He was coming home to be with his family.

M died approximately at 10:25pm, November 26, 2015 at 18 years old, with us by his side.

Words cannot describe my sorrow and hurt. Here I am writing in tears, because I am still mourning. But I am hoping this would at least release some stress and sorrow. I want to share my experience of having a pet to people, because they are not just some animals that you feed and take care of. They become part of your family. And M was part of our family for over half my life, starting at a very young age. He had a very good and happy life being with us. I know things get better over time, and to look at the positives, but it becomes hard when you see them struggling during the last hours of their life.

But I do know one thing, that M is finally home. He's sleeping peacefully. And he will be watching over us. He loves us and we love him.

TTC & "You're too Young!"

TTC. The Toronto Transit Commission. Or what a lot of people like to call: Take The Car. I like to say Take The Chopper. To The Cars! Tik Tok Crap. Tick Tick Come-on!!!!!

It has been years since I took the TTC as an everyday transportation to school and clinical. I remember my dad telling me that when he took the RT about 30 years ago everyday to work, he said the tracks would freeze in winter, so shuttle buses would always take forever and were always crammed. Well, surprise surprise. 30 years later it's still the same.

I remember those days and it was not that long ago. 6 years ago! I remember the pain of waking up super early to get on the RT, transfer to the underground subway, and then transfer again, get off at my station, and then walk to school. It was best to wake up super early in case there was a delay in transit.

And that's the problem with TTC ever since it started operation. There are always delays. Signal issues. Old infrastructure. People cramming into the doors and then it further delays everyone. It goes on and on. The worst is fare increases almost every year. WHAT! IS! THAT! CRAP!

You get customers to pay extra every year, and the service remains the exact same as 40 years ago. CRAP. You would expect some sort of improvement after each fare hike, but it seems like things either remain the same or is just overall getting worse. Yet media keeps encouraging people to take the transit, save the planet, don't pollute. But why should I be paying for that and waste my time in delays when I could just walk or drive?

And this is exactly why I went from transit to car. I'm one of those rare chicks who actually love to drive. I am fortunate enough to have my own ride and to have enough funds to pay for gas and parking. So of course if I can save time and get to some place faster or at my own pace, then why not? I rather do that than cram myself into trains that need a desperate wash, or rather, people who have no idea what perfume is.

I am fortunate that I have the ability to rely on my own means to get from one place to another, and not on some outdated transit system in one of the most expensive places to live in Canada. Frankly, I am quite embarrassed to be living in a city with one of the highest cost to live in, and having a not-so-good transit system that is the only link between downtown and the suburbs.

Another thing I'm not a fan of: people telling me that I'm too young to have _______.

And what I mean by that is something medical. It can be something minor or something major. For example, I had a corticosteroid shot to my wrist because of an ossified loose body that was causing a great amount of pain when I moved my wrist. It came to the point that I could not grip onto a piece of paper properly. I could not twist the tubes at work. I couldn't untie my work gown because it was that painful. I just could not move my wrist.

Corticosteroid shot was one of the interventions, aside from physiotherapy and arthroscopic surgery. I knew physio was not going to help my situation, so it was recommended that I took the shot. I was told it would not be painful so I didn't need anesthetics, so I went along with it. I must say, getting an injection into a joint is PAINFUL. If you know of anyone getting an injection into a joint, ask for anesthesia. The pain lasted for about 2-3 days where I could not move my hand. After that, it was a lot better. Corticosteroid shots usually last about a year (at least for the wrist) before symptoms could return. It's been over a year, and my symptoms are slowly coming back, but at least I'm still able to move my wrist and do my daily chores.

When people hear that, they say "but you're so young!" Ok, yes I get it. But that doesn't help my situation. I already have a problem, I need to solve it. It really doesn't matter how old you are at this point. Point is, you have a problem, you need to fix it.

Same with when people come up to me and ask me to work 16 hour shifts. I think for a moment to see if it's worth it (i.e if I'm off the next day or for the next few days, then I would probably consider it). The part that I hate the most? "Oh but you're still so young,  you can do it! When I was your age, I pulled 16 hours all the time!" Thanks but this is 2015, not 1950. I know the limits of my body and when my body tells me it's burnt out, then I better listen to it and say no to a 16 hour shift. Plus I've noticed all the younger staff are actually burning out a lot faster than middle aged people. They are getting injured more, burning out, and having lingering long term effects on their health.

It's the whole perception of the older generation telling the young ones "well you're still young, you can do this. When I was your age..."

But when I look at the Generation X and Y in particular, I noticed a lot of the younglings pulling way longer shifts, not making more than their older counterparts, and yet burning out because they strive to become like their parents/older generation one day. We look at the older generations and how they managed to balance so many things, yet still work so hard, raise a family and not be crippled with medical issues. Why is it now that the younger generation is going through more burnouts and crippling issues?

There are probably many things that are contributing factors, but one of them that I really dislike and one that needs to stop, is this whole "you're too young" crap. Define what "young" means. Is there a specific age gap that we should all be looking out for? That if we fall under this "young" group, then we shouldn't have particular medical issues? We should always work 16-20 hours? No, I hate it when people say I'm "too young". It really doesn't make me feel any better. It actually makes me feel much more guilty because I can't do as much as other people. It doesn't encourage us; it discourages us.

So for everyone out there who are telling their younger generation that they are "too young" to be experiencing medical issues, you need to stop. You are not helping the situation. The person already has an issue. What's the point of rubbing a useless comment like that in their face when they are trying their best to deal with their situation? Just shut up please. You look a lot better with your mouth shut than uttering a sentence like "you're too young."

Pray for Paris

Friday November 13, 2015.

A group of Islamic State extremists took part in a series of bombings and shootings around Paris, France. The goal: to kill as many innocent bystanders as possible.

As of this day, 129 lives were cut short. Many more have been injured, and are still recovering in hospital. Some are in serious condition. Most of the fatalities occurred in Bataclan, where Eagles of Death Metal band (an American band) were playing a gig. The rest were at popular night spots for young people, and restaurants. 

Our hearts, thoughts and prayers go out to those who have been affected by this tragedy. We unite as one big family to support each other through these times, as a global unit. We weep for all the lives lost in such a terrible way. No words can describe the horror of what they had to go through.

Massacring a huge amount of people is not the way to gain control of the world, nor is it the right way to do anything. What do you gain from taking people's lives? Nothing. 

The Prophet Mohammed was used in satirical cartoons and broadcasted to the nation. Extremists became unhappy so they killed those responsible for misinterpreting the prophet. And now they decide to go after countries who go against the prophet, and their nation as a whole. 

Let me tell you one thing. People make fun of Jesus Christ more than the prophet. People use Jesus' name in vain on a daily basis. You don't hear people saying "Oh my Mohammed!" or "Prophet Mohammed!" when they accidentally burn themselves or drop a knife on their foot. When something surprises someone, the automatic response would be "Oh my God!" "Jesus Christ, seriously!" 

Do you see a bunch of Christians coming together and plotting to set fire to the world? Do you see them plot ways to kill a bunch of random people at once? Because they hear everyone using Christ's name in vain? No. We get hurt inside yes. But does it give us a reason to act in a selfish way? No. 

In 1 Peter 3:15 (NKJV) it says: But sanctify the Lord God^[a] in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear.

What in the world does that mean? It just means if people ask about God's existence, you are to prepare to give a defence. Not a war defence group, but an intellectual conversation. No where in the context does it say to gather an army and go kill everyone because they made fun of your God. 

I think people get annoyed with Christians because of the constant verbal arguments and disagreements when it comes to talking about God. People just want to avoid the topic all together. It's funny how we question or forget about God during our happy times, but we all turn to God when something tragic happens. And then blame Him for all the bad things, that US humans did against each other. 

I'll leave off with this one verse from Romans 12:21 (NIV): Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Pray for all those lives lost in this tragedy. Pray for those who have to live without their loved ones for the rest of their lives. Pray for the ones who believe in false idols, who are misinterpreting what is being said and taught to them, so that they may one day find God, and realize what they did was wrong.

A Clear Explanation

When someone is diagnosed with a chronic illness, it takes quite a bit of time and explanation for them to understand what they are dealing with, and helping them cope.

One of the most challenging aspects in working with people diagnosed with a chronic illness is compliance of treatments. As health care professionals, when we see patients refusing to accept treatments or not coming to treatments on a frequent basis, we get frustrated. Because we know the dangers if they don't comply with treatments. We think they are the stubborn ones. We think we have tried our best to tell them to come but it's their fault if they don't accept our help.

But we clearly missed out one basic step that we have all learned in medical or nursing school. Verifying with the patient if they understand what they were told.

In our current society, too many of us jump to conclusions based on one thing we see. In this case, because we see patients skipping treatment, we automatically assume they already know the side effects of missing treatments. What no one really does is following up with the patient the next time they come back to see if they understand the consequences.

Now, some patients do understand the consequences and are prepared to deal with it. But I would say most are not ready to deal with the ultimate consequence: death.

There are times that I have worked with patients and they start asking basic questions. Questions that should have been answered by the doctor when they were initially seen by them. Yet they are still asking me basic questions. But understanding a disease process is not like 1+1. It is anatomy and physiology complicated with pathophysiology. It will take time for someone to understand what is going on with their bodies.

As a health care professional, I have an obligation to teach and educate patients. I answer the basic questions that have been asked many times. Each person is different in their knowledge in the disease process, and each person will need a different explanation to help them understand it.

Here is a case study (this is to also help others who are in similar situations or need ideas to help patients understand what is happening to them):

A patient who has Stage 5 kidney failure (GFR < 15) and new to hemodialysis comes into the ER, short of breath, having chest pain, has edema in both lower legs and ankles. Blood pressure is high, at 180/110, heart rate of 98. Oxygen saturation is 90% on room air. Bloodwork shows Potassium: 7.2. Creatinine: 890. Urea: 25. Upon further questioning, you find out this patient has missed 3 of 8 treatments. The patient states he is new to dialysis, and each time he missed a treatment, he says he wasn't feeling well. So therefore he wasn't comfortable in getting treatment because he was too ill to go to the hospital.

The nephrologist has tried explaining to the patient blatantly that if they don't seek treatment, they will die. They will also not qualify for a kidney transplant because they are non-compliant with dialysis.

As a nurse, what do you do?

I can tell you the first thing of what you DON'T do. And that is assume. Do not assume the patient already knows everything. Do not assume they understand everything. Assumptions are the worst thing in health care, and it could get you into a lot of trouble.

The first step is to talk with the patient. Identify who you are (RN, RPN), and explain what you will be doing (I will be giving you dialysis treatment today because your blood work levels are very high). You then ask the patient open ended questions to see if they understand why they are getting the treatment. The best way to ask is: What has the doctor told you regarding the treatment? Tell me what are some things that the doctor told you.

This is a lot better than asking closed ended questions (Has the doctor talked to you? Do you understand it? Do you have any questions?). A lot of times, patients get anxious and scared to ask questions that they will simply nod. That is why it is up to the health care professionals to keep the questions open ended and keep the conversation going.

In this situation, the patient had stated he was new, and he didn't know what was going on. The first day of treatment, the nurse took him in and he was hooked up to the machine. And that was it. Now, sometimes it's also up to the nurse's judgment to see whether they are lying or telling the truth. We also have to look back at the 5 stages of grief:
1) Denial
2) Anger
3) Bargaining
4) Depression
5) Acceptance

When a patient first learns about their chronic illness, they will deny it. How can something like this happen to them? Why me? The next would be anger. They will get angry at anything and everything, even blame God for their illness. Then they will bargain. If I start to change my diet or exercise more, maybe this illness will go away and I'll get better. But when they realize this is a life long illness, they will hit depression. Eventually, they will accept the fact that this illness is real. They have it, and will have to live with it.

Now I can't say which stage the patient was in when he first came into treatment. But in the very beginning when everything is new, the patient will NOT remember everything that was said to them which include doctors, nurses, pharmacists, dieticians, social workers and coordinators. Everyone can say they already told the patient and taught the patient whatever needed to be taught, as well as paper handouts for them to read. But if the patient is in an anger or depression stage, do you think they would want to sit down and read all those papers? No, definitely not.

My first step is to ask the patient what they understand about their illness. See what they already know. Then you can assess what they don't know. And a lot of times, there are misconceptions or misunderstandings.

Explaining to a patient a disease process should not include difficult terminology. It has to be explained in a way that they understand, even draw out pictures if needed. The patient understood that being compliant to treatment is important, yet he still skips it. Why? The patient clearly said he wasn't feeling well. Because he felt unwell, he figured it was best to not force himself to get treatment.

Now comes the part of explaining what happens if they skip treatment. I used the blood work and his symptoms as a big picture. You can break it down to mini parts and then link it all together. For example:

1) Potassium is an electrolyte responsible for cardiac tissue (the heart). When there is an imbalance of potassium in the body, it will affect your heart. Your levels are way too high today (hyperkalemia; 7.2) hence why you feel chest pain and you are short of breath (hyperventilating). Too high or too low will result in your heart overworking and it could stop, leading to death.

2) Your kidneys are responsible for excreting potassium and other toxins in the blood. When your kidneys stop functioning and you stop peeing, the toxins build up, and you start to feel unwell. Hence why your potassium is also high. Because you have skipped out on treatment. There is no way for all those toxins to come out.

3) Since you have been feeling unwell at home, and constantly drinking lots of fluids (as we are taught to drink fluids when we are sick), your body is unable to get rid of the excess amount of fluids, hence why your legs are swollen. It is important to limit your fluid intake to 1L a day (show them a 1L bag of saline as an example).

4) Your blood pressure is very high because of all the excess fluid inside your body. It is important we get rid of that extra fluid to bring your pressure back down.

Keeping it in simple terms helps the patient understand what is happening to their bodies. Telling them they are experiencing hyperkalemia will not mean anything to them unless you break it down into simpler terms. It takes patience and a lot of feedback to help the patient understand. But telling them simply "they will die" will not help them take initiative to attend treatments. Scare tactics do not work on these patients. They need education and teaching.

After a complete breakdown of what dialysis is and what it does, and what kidney failure is, the patient was grateful that he finally learned the basics of his illness. He was able to tell me what I said, and stressed the importance of not missing out anymore treatments for his sake. It is the team's responsibility to follow up with the patient and their compliance to treatments. The teachings and education still need to be reinforced each time.

To wrap up, patients need a clear explanation of what's going on. Do not assume anything, but engage them in conversation to assess their understanding. Clear up any misconceptions or misunderstandings that they may have. Don't just lecture, but engage them and ask them questions as well to see if they understand. Lastly, as a team, we all need to work together to make sure patients remain compliant to treatment, and follow up with them to see how they are doing.

Asian Bus Tours

Do the names Taipan Tours, America Asia or Safeway Tours ring a bell? If you haven't been on those Asian bus tours, you should totally try it out one time.

And then you'll start hating it.

I remember taking my very first bus tour when I was about 5 or 6 years old. It was with Safeway Tours back in the 90's. It was one of those USA tours where we went from NYC - Boston - Atlantic City - Washington DC - and I'm pretty sure a few more but I can't remember exactly. All I remember is there were a lot of buses. The 90's was the time that Safeway Tours boomed in the tourism industry. There were a lot of places to visit but I remember they allowed us a lot of time to look around, take pictures etc. The time on the bus was long, but at least there were frequent stops.

Fast forward to the current year. They are all still in operation but I've noticed Safeway has been "beat out" by Taipan. I have taken both companies in the past few years and I've noticed Taipan has more tours offered than Safeway. They are both still very fast paced, so I wouldn't recommend very young toddlers or children to take these tours as wake up calls are ridiculously early (some as early as 5:30am).  Also, the very elderly people. I don't know how they do it, but I assume because most of the trips are on long bus rides, maybe that's why majority are all older adults.

Which comes to my next big peeve when it comes to bus tours. Mannerism. A lot of the bus tourists are older generation who have immigrated from countries like Hong Kong and China mainly (some Taiwan) so what they think is normal may not be "normal" in our younger generation's eyes.

For example, when the tour guide is talking on the speaker, you will have people chattering. When the bus is still moving and trying to park, you have a bunch of people start standing up in the aisle, grab bags, and waiting to get off. When people are getting off the bus, they cut you off or don't allow you to enter in front of them. When it comes to attractions and line ups, they will bud in front of you. It's like they don't know how to form a line.

The best one is going to popular attractions and going to their washrooms. They have signs in the stalls where there are two pictures. One that says NO! and a sign with a person squatting on the toilet seat. The other one says YES! and it has the person sitting on the toilet.

It has come to the point where places in Canada and the USA have seen the unsanitary ways of using the public toilets that they have put signs up. It's embarrassing to those who are of Asian descent because when we see it, we totally know it was from "our people" from the older generations. We think it's gross. But to them, it was the way they were raised and taught as normal.

And that's the thing with multicultural countries like Canada. When we see people spit on the streets, take a piss in the bushes in full public view, squat on the toilets and make a mess on the seats with muddy shoes, or squatting in public roadside taking a dump in the sewage, our thoughts are "EEW NASTY! Immigrants!" But what we don't realize is that's probably how they were taught back home as totally normal.

The only thing I can think of if I see someone doing that or know of someone who does anything "weird" to my eyes, I would just say in this country, that is inappropriate. Maybe back home it was normal, but here, it is considered inappropriate. Just a head's up. Whether they choose to follow Canada's mannerism, that's up to them. But with older generation, it is very hard to change their ways. So don't be too surprised when you see any one of the above being done in public. 

Life is Amazing. Stress Isn't.

Everybody experiences stress at various stages of life. It can be a small amount, or huge, or a daily issue. But what really goes on when stress occurs? What happens to your body when you undergo stress? And what happens if it's a daily occurrence?

You know that saying "Stress kills"? Yeah, it really does. When you let stress get to you, it will break down your entire system. Just like if you keep pushing your car to its limits, eventually something will break. And it doesn't have to be a huge component, but it always starts with something small, and work its way to something much bigger.

When you look at the anatomy and physiology of the human body, it is amazing, yet complex. You see how the body was designed for purpose, how we are an amazing reflection of our awesome Creator, our God and our Saviour Jesus Christ. To me, it doesn't make sense that humans evolve from nothing. You can't leave chance to create a design, and for a purpose. We are all taught in school about evolution and the big bang theory and it is the only acceptable "science", but the topic of creation is considered "religion" and therefore banned from classrooms. If you think about it, evolution is a religion as well. It's called Athiesm. So for schools to be saying they don't teach religion and are not allowed, they are contradicting themselves. But that's another post for another day.

When I was about 13 years old, I accepted Christ into my life. Not because the church told me to. Not because my parents told me to. Not because my friends told me to. It was a few things combined actually. I had basic understanding of anatomy and physiology at that time, and biology was my favourite topic. I learned the basics of what a cell was, and memorized it, but really had no clue why I was doing it. I was memorizing all these things because that was part of the education system. And if I didn't do well, then I would fail school. Other than those two things, there really was no purpose.  It wasn't until my brother started teaching me the purpose of life. And when you can understand the purpose of life, everything starts to open up and make sense.

Anatomy and physiology, biology and chemistry, as confusing and annoying as they are, they serve a huge purpose in understanding the complexity of life. When you can see how everything works, and why they work, you start to see and understand that God is not just some fairy tale made up story. He did this for a purpose: to have a continuous relationship with His children. You see, you are a reflection of who God is. We will never be God, but our thoughts, feelings, actions, knowledge...they are a reflection of Him.

Human anatomy is very complex. And all systems serve its own purpose. What is amazing is all those systems compliment each other. So if one system fails, you have another system that compensates. Big bang theory or the evolution theory will not teach you that or explain why it does that. It just basically states life evolved from a big bang, which resulted in a cell. But when you really look at the anatomy of a cell, it is very complex. It's not something basic.

Let's look at something that all of us deal with on a daily basis: stress.

When we deal with a stressful situation, our body has what we call a "fight or flight" response. Sounds simple, but what goes on inside our bodies at that given moment goes faster than the speed of light.

The eyes and ears (along with your other sensors like fingers, toes..i.e your skin) send a signal to your brain. Your brain consists of a centre called the amygdala. Amygdala interprets the signal, and if it senses danger, it will send a signal to the hypothalamus.

The hypothalamus is like the control centre of a ship or a plane. It is here where the brain communicates to the rest of the body via a system called the Autonomic Nervous System (ANS). The ANS controls involuntary body functions such as increased heart rate, breathing, blood pressure, and dilation or constriction of blood vessels. The ANS further divides into two more systems: Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) and the Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS).

The SNS functions as the fight or flight response when it gets the danger signal. The PNS acts as the "slow down" response, or when the danger has passed. As Harvard Health puts it, it's like the gas and brake pedal of a car.

Once the hypothalamus activates the ANS system, it also sends a signal to the adrenal glands. The adrenal glands is where epinepherine is released into the blood stream (i.e adrenaline). This is where the physiological changes begin: blood pressure increases, heart rate increases, breathing increases, vasoconstriction occurs, your senses (hearing, visual) become more alert, more blood flow goes to all your vital organs. Epinepherine also triggers the release of blood sugar (or glucose) and fats from temporary storage into the bloodstream. This is to provide energy for the body while it's undergoing the stress response.

If the situation remains dangerous or very stressful, cortisol is released by the adrenal glands. This is to keep the body on high alert.

And all this occurs faster than the speed of light.

With prolonged stress or chronic stress, it is detrimental to one's health. The constant release of epinepherine can result in damaged blood vessels and arteries, resulting in increased risk of stroke or heart attacks. You can start to feel chest pain, or angina, because of the changes in the blood vessels due to chronic stress. High levels of cortisol results in increased appetite. This is why some people eat a lot when they are stressed, because of the high levels of cortisol in the blood stream, which leads to weight gain and obesity. That in itself leads to many health problems: hypertension, diabetes, athlerosclerosis, lipidemia, high cholesterol (to name a few), and thus if uncontrolled, can lead to kidney failure.

This is just a glimpse into one of the "basic" systems of the human body. I say "basic" because people think it's easy, but it really isn't all that basic or easy when you start to understand the anatomy behind it. It's not just one individual system, but all systems of the human body are intertwined. They compliment each other, and if one fails, it will affect the others. The others can only do so much to compensate before the entire body collapses.

Stress kills, yes it does. But we cannot let stress take over our lives. We have to start by looking after ourselves too. There are many ways to counter stress and it all comes down to whether we put our minds to make a change: our diet, our breathing exercises, yoga, physical exercise, removing stressors from our lives, having quiet time, finding good balance in our busy lives, getting enough rest and sleep, having great relationships with family and friends. All the little bits here and there help make a bigger positive picture.

And this is why I am amazed at life and how complex life is. I am amazed that God is not just some fairy tale person that you read to your kids before bedtime. He is real, He is here with us, and we are a mere reflection of who He is. It is up to us whether we want to get to know Him more in our lives or not. Everyone has their own ways of accepting Christ. For me, it was the topic of biology and anatomy/physiology of the human body that really awed me. Maybe not everything will make sense in life, but it's enough to convince me that God is real.

PSA: Fraudster

This is a public service announcement post about a fraudster in the GTA car community.

I met this guy back in August 2014.

He seemed nice and all at first, buying me stuff I didn't ask him to buy, as a way to show he cares. But no one buys expensive things when you first meet. People thought it was strange that it was happening but they said "as long as you're happy".

I guess at first I was, because it was sort of nice to get showered with stuff, but it was not in my character for people to shower me with random gifts. So it was awkward.

Then I saw the real side of him. The pathological liar and manipulator.

Not only did he lie and try to scam 4 of my friends whom he barely knew, but he was lying to them about everything. When you lie to my friends, especially those that I have known for a very long time, you basically lie to me. And I don't like that. I'm a loyal friend who will call you out when I find out. Seemed like he was trying to destroy my friendships.

He had my front lip and side skirts as he offered to get it fixed and repainted. The front lip and side skirts were bought by me and paid for. It has been over 6 months now and I still have neither. I have asked for it back via FB, Whatsapp, text, and calling over the months but each time it was:

1) I'm in Jersey

2) I'm in Chicago

3) my grandpa fell on the ground and I gotta send him to ER

4) I'm not feeling well

5) I'm at the doctor's

6) my grandma can't breathe

7) I sent my mom to the ER because she isn't feeling well

8) I overslept

As you can tell, a variety of excuses. My favourite is the medical ones because it's like the entire family has taken over the Emergency Department in one day.

Then when I asked again, he said he threw them out and bought me new ones. WHO THE HELL BUYS NEW PARTS FOR SOMEONE WHO NEVER ASKED FOR THEM? This is not a matter of trying to be nice to someone. This is now making that person pay for parts that they never asked for, on top of paying for paint. This is the part that got me very mad, because if other people don't know about it, they will get screwed over.

And then of course a month later he says they are my original parts. So which is true? You end up not believing anything.

In the car community, he is active in the GTR forums (Battalion30Five etc), VQ Nation (G35/37) and GTA Motorheads (variety), and was trying to get into the Genesis community. He will also pretend to have access to good prices in anything else, like purses. Beware of him if you decide to do business with him. Whether buying parts, ECU tuning, motor build etc. Doesn't matter what he tells you or if he appears knowledgeable in everything. Once you give your money to him, you will either 1) not see it again 2) not see your parts 3) not see either again forever, or for a very long time.

If he has worked on your car before (and for free), you will be ok for a while, but then your car will start breaking down one by one. Ultimately in the end, you will be the one having to pay for all the parts and damages on the car. He will start making excuses to not fix it, or delay in fixing it, and you will have no choice except to go to an independent shop, and spend an arm and a leg (maybe a kidney, and part of your liver) fixing the problems he caused.

People have dealt with him before, whether in person or online, and found that he was lying about everything. Unfortunately a lot of people have also lost money because of him and are continuously pursuing to get money back. This isn't just $50 he owes to people, but rather in the thousands.

He makes fake promises on building your motor, getting you the best parts in town, all for a reasonable price. In reality, he doesn't have it. If he demands a payment or deposit upfront, don't pay him. A receipt is never issued, so you won't have proof he took your money. And that's the thing, if he has gained your trust, he won't issue a receipt. Because you trust that he will get the parts in. But don't trust anybody in business. Any transaction that is done, you demand a receipt.

He doesn't have any social skills. He buys things to impress people with money he doesn't have. You can't buy friendship or love with material things. This is not a proper way to make friends. Considering a lot of people have been scammed by him, you can tell he does this for a living. A mastermind in manipulation, lying and making lots of excuses.

LADIES: BEWARE! He will try to act all nice to you, buy you all the nice things in life (pretends that he buys them but in reality, it's his mother's money he uses), and once he gains your trust and you invite him into your life, you are basically screwed because YOU will be the one paying for all living expenses, because he doesn't work. By the way, if you date him, you will not be the only girl that he has on his side. He's a chronic liar and a cheater.

The best part is if he can't handle you, he will get his mom to do it for him. So instead of dealing with him, you will be dealing with his mother. This is a guy who is mid 30's, telling his mom to clean up after him. Unless you want to go that route, I suggest you not start any business with him.

When things are too good to be true, believe your gut feeling that things won't be right.

You're welcome.

Drunk Driving. Not Acceptable!

How many of you know someone who thinks they're so macho that after a few drinks, they say they are ok to drive home? Whether it's at a party, or a club or whatever. I'm sure all of us know at least 1 person in our lives who did or does that at least once a week. Or maybe we all did that once and that was it. Never again.

Unfortunately, sometimes that one time could be the last time for the rest of your life.

There have been many sad stories about drinking and driving accidents, but this one hit close to home. This family is a relative of a friend of mine who I went to school with. She has lost her uncle and her 3 cousins from a drunk driver.

Neville-Lake tragedy

On September 27 just after 4pm, the Neville-Lake family was driving from King City to Brampton when their van was T-boned by a SUV driven by an intoxicated driver, Marco Muzzo. Muzzo was coming back from his stag party.

The van's driver, Gary Neville was killed instantly. His grandson, Daniel (9 years old) died later in hospital. His other grandson and granddaughter, Harry (5) and Millie (2) died shortly after midnight at the Hospital for Sick Kids. The children's grandmother and great-grandmother were transported to hospital with serious injuries but are recovering.

The parents of the 3 children are devastated. They only found out about the accident when the mother, Jennifer, turned on the TV and saw the accident scene. Her father (Gary) was already an hour late in dropping off her kids. Jennifer had called her parents' cell phone but no one was picking up. That's when she turned on the TV and recognized her van.

While in hospital, Harry and Millie were unresponsive. The only thing keeping their little hearts beating and them breathing were the ICU machines. The doctors and nurses had put their beds together, so the parents could lay there and say goodbye. Just after midnight, both children succumbed to their injuries. They passed away holding hands, with their parents beside them.

This is the worst nightmare for any parent to experience.

One intoxicated driver has taken the lives of 3 children and 1 adult.

Muzzo comes from a very wealthy family, with an estate worth over $1.1 billion. I have a feeling that justice will NOT be fair because of the wealth. Because we can see that those who are super wealthy can get away with anything. He has expressed remorse on what he did, but has not said much in terms of whether he will plead guilty or not guilty for driving under the influence.

He has had 7 previous driving convictions, ranging from talking on a cellphone while driving to speeding. Yet he is still driving. Those are not criminal convictions, but depending what the moving violation tickets are, all he has to do is pay them. And of course his insurance would go up. But as part of a billionaire family, who cares? Sure, your insurance rate will be a lot higher than the rest of your friends, but hey your inheritance can pay for it.

Muzzo is facing 18 charges including 4 counts of impaired driving causing death.

I see two issues with this case. One is about how wealth can be a huge influence, and the second is how our law still does not see drinking and driving as a serious offence. So the final conviction will not be a 25 year sentence to life imprisonment.

Here is a second example.

Wijeratnes family shattered

On August 5, 2012, the Wijeratnes family of 3 was driving back from Florida to Toronto when a car was speeding down the wrong way on Highway 427, driven by Sabastian Prosa. Prosa's car slammed head on with the Wijeratnes' car. Jayanatha and his daughter Eleesha were killed. Antonette was hospitalized and recovered. Prosa had been out drinking that night and was found to be intoxicated.

His conviction? 5 years in prison and 8 years banned from driving. The verdict was reached today.

Many people would read this and think what the hell is wrong with our law and society today. Even us citizens, we don't know what the hell is wrong with our own law.

We have MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving). We have RIDE spot checks and programs. We have constant messages and ads everywhere saying to take a taxi, call a friend or take the transit when we drink. To drink responsibly and be responsible. Yet people still drink and drive and shatter families. Why is that?

In the end, it's all about the law and the convictions. If the law for drinking and driving was as serious as murder, I don't think people would try to attempt to play with the law. People see the drinking and driving law as a slap on the wrist, because it really is just a slap on the wrist.

Yes people still murder people everyday. Sometimes it's a harsh penalty, and sometimes it's not. But it doesn't make it right to murder in the first place. That's why there is a law; to have some order in society. If there was no order, it would result in chaos.

People may say, well murderers have the intent to murder others. But drunk drivers only have the intent to drive home alive, not kill people. Sure, but if you have the intent to kill someone, that's first degree. If you have the intent to drive home intoxicated but cut someone's life short by accident along the way, that's manslaughter in the form of "impaired driving causing death" category. Either way, it's still a criminal offence. It's just one carries a maximum of life imprisonment, and the other is 14 years.

We see the consequences of drinking and driving and how it could shatter many lives. Yet people do it on a daily or weekly basis. Because we think we are above the law. We are macho enough to defeat alcohol and still force ourselves to drive. We want to prove to others that we can tolerate alcohol. That it's not a drug.

Please. A liquid, powder or pill that can alter your state of mind and judgement is considered a drug. Alcohol is a drug, whether you accept it or not.

So before you get into your vehicle after a wild night of partying and drinking, think about the lives you could cut short if you lost control. A vehicle becomes a weapon and can ultimately kill someone. Who cares if you have to pay extra for a parking ticket overnight, or if your car got towed. Those are all material things. Lives cannot be bought or replaced. If you can't pay for it, then you shouldn't even be partying in the first place. If you can pay for a night of drinking alcohol, you can pay for a parking ticket and you can pay for a taxi home.

The two mothers above will never get back their spouses or kids/grandkids ever again. Because of the irresponsible actions from two people who decided driving drunk was a good idea. Of the stories I've read, it seems that 98% of drunk drivers escape injuries and walk out fine from the accidents they caused, while they shatter other people's lives.

So yes, a harsher penalty and a change in drunk driving laws need to be done. Because right now, drunk drivers are walking free from their selfish acts.