Chanel Reveal

Alright, so if you read the CarsnPurses blog (or follow me on IG), you probably saw that I went on a shopping spree. Yes. Yes I did. This is my birthday gift to myself (and it's not until next year, so I splurged too early).

Great news. The bank no longer owns the purse. WHOOPEEE!!!! IT'S MINE!!!

A little background story:

Last year I had aimed to get the WOC (which I did) and sadly it was around the time that M passed. I then made it an aim to get it in memory of him, as well as add charms to it because Chanel didn't have a cat theme or anything in any of their collections last year. To this day, the WOC serves as a huge memory to me, and has much sentimental value.

Sometime last month as I was browsing the Chanel website, I came across a bag with...what do you know. A cat theme. It hadn't hit stores yet, but it's in the Fall/Winter 2016-2017 catalogue so it was going to arrive in stores pretty soon.

This is what I find so weird. It's all the timing. It's been almost a year since M has passed, and I'm still depressed about it. Yet lo and behold, I see this bag that makes THE perfect memory for him even a year later. It's almost like a dream come true, that Chanel decided to have this theme. It's all I've been waiting for, for the past year, and who knew. Who knew..

My experience:

I had called the Chanel boutique to ask if this particular bag had come in but for a while they kept saying it didn't come in yet. Finally after a couple of weeks of not calling them, I gave it one last shot and called. They had it!!

So off I go to the store. I had just finished work and was pretty much dressed in work clothes (a t shirt with scrub bottoms - thankfully I was in charge that day and not touching anyone). The staff greeted me and helped me right away.

The SA was very friendly with me. I had given her the serial number as well as a picture of the purse. She said they definitely had it! So she brought one out from the back and showed it to me. She encouraged me to try it on, wear it in all the different ways and to take my time.

Then we started having a conversation about pets. This is where it gets emotional for both of us because she's a pet owner as well. She also experienced her pets passing on, and dealing with the loss of it.

We definitely spent more time talking about our pets and memories than the purses. I was really impressed that our conversations lasted as long as they did. I didn't feel pressured to want to buy anything, even though I knew what I was going to get. But it made me feel that I was appreciated as a person, and not just another commission tag.

In the end, I really did appreciate all the help she gave me, as well as our long conversation. I bought the bag of course. My bestie and I were then escorted to sit in the waiting area while they wrapped my bag up.

Before I left, I asked to take a picture with the SA, because she was just pretty amazing. And I always take pictures with the SA that made my experience a positive one.

The reveal:

So the moment is here! Now, this may not be to everyone's taste but that's what makes us different and unique. I wanted something different from everyone else. Although I would've loved to have a classic, I still think it's a classic to some degree, with a bit of a twist.

When I first saw this online, my first thought was this is waaaaaay too busy. But over time I have grown to love it. So if you think it's ugly or too busy, that's ok. I learned to appreciate it for what it is, because it serves as a memory of what I had before.

The beautiful black box with the white ribbon and camellia flower.

The magical black box!

Opened up the box, and there's the black tissue paper sealed with the Chanel sticker!

It's a flap! But which one?! 

The care booklet package, with the history book.

Sneak peak. Thumb's up.

There she is! Medium classic flap in light gold hardware, in fabric print.

Here is the back. Because it's a classic flap, there is still the back pocket.

The inside is gold leather.

The infamous CC logo!

So there you have it! My new bag to serve as a memory for M.

Some details:

Company: Chanel

Collection: Fall/Winter 2016-2017

Style: Classic Flap Bag 

Size: Medium

Material: Printed fabric

Colour (exterior): Navy blue, gray, gold

Colour (interior): Light gold

Hardware: Light gold

Made in: France

Dimensions: 6.3 x 10.2 x 2.8 inches / 16 x 26 x 7 cm

Product Number: A01112 Y61093

Exterior: Turn lock closure, 1 back pocket, 1 chain which can be used for over the shoulder, chain can be doubled up to make it shorter.

Interior: 2 pockets, 1 lip stick pocket, 1 main compartment, 2 flat compartments, 1 small zipped compartment, 1 extra flap to cover.

I have not used this bag as of yet, because I'm not technically suppose to use it until next year (we'll see how long this will last). It is pretty light weight. Just like with any product, the fabric is also delicate when it comes to colour transfers. Hopefully that won't happen. The quilting is still puffy, which is awesome, not flat as I thought it would be. 

Cleaning the product would take some patience and time. It is recommended to not wipe the fabric if something spills on it. Rather dab it dry, otherwise there will be a risk of colour transfer. 

Hope you enjoyed this little reveal and review. Stay tuned for a what's in my bag review! (maybe next year, who knows!).

Random Time!

Greetings all.

The moment you've all been waiting for: a moment of randomness! This is where I just write about anything random that pops into my head. It doesn't necessarily have a theme. Just anything that I've noticed or experienced lately.

I'm so darn tired these days. I work almost everyday, but lately it's just been the mental stress. Making important decisions on a constant basis that impacts someone's life. It's a lot of "I hope I made the right decision" moments. A lot of last minute changes as well that requires mental alertness to fix things right away and not screw up. A lot of days I end work late and don't get paid overtime for it. And a lot of times I don't take breaks because there is always something happening. I would be lucky to have a washroom break to take a piss but that's about it. Sometimes I'd go almost 20 hours without eating anything. I would eat my lunch for dinner, and then maybe a bit of dinner later on if I was still hungry.

Either way, it's destroying my body. I may not even know it now because "I'm still young" but everything is starting to slow down. Thankfully I'm almost done and can take a break soon so that's something to look forward to.

I was driving home today (and let me tell you, it's a terrible idea to be driving home after not eating anything since the previous night) and I could feel the rage inside me. The last minute lane changers (because of these dummies, I can't make the traffic light!), the slow slow drivers in the left lane, the people who don't signal when they change lanes or turn, the dumb pedestrians who can't make up their minds if they want to cross the road or not, ESPECIALLY when the road is clear for me to go, but these slow ass mofos are taking their sweet ass time to decide whether to cross or not, distracted drivers (eating, or talking on the phone, putting on make up..you get the idea), and the list goes on.

My trend of aggressive driving increases when I don't have anything to eat. It's been like that for the past 5 weeks because yes it's true, I haven't taken much breaks when I'm in charge of a unit.

My goal was to also lose weight during these past few weeks because of stress. I don't feel any different than 6 weeks ago though, so that sucks. I'd lose a few pounds (mostly due to water imbalances) but would gain it after a day of eating. Definitely not the proper way to lose weight though.

I called the store and I almost jumped for joy because the handbag I've been seeking is now in store! WOOHOO!!! I'm so excited! This is pretty much the only positive news I've heard all week. Anyways I still have to try it and see if it's really to my liking or not. Then I will decide whether it's a go or no.

Just over a week ago, I bought the "girl on the train" novel because I saw a trailer of it prior to an outing and I wanted to see what the hype was all about. I finished the book pretty quick and then saw the movie.

You know, it was only halfway while reading this book that I realized each chapter was from a different character perspective. Yes, that's how slow I was. I got so confused because I thought the main character was crazy. Then I realized no, it was from 3 different perspectives. Right. I need to re-read it.

The book itself in the beginning sort of dragged on. It didn't start picking up until about 3/4 of the way through. However, I did like how everything played out.

The movie, starring Emily Blunt, was just like any other book-to-screen adaptation: they cut out lots of parts from the book, and it also becomes difficult trying to portray the character's thoughts into the movie. I liked how they cut off unnecessary things from the book though, and got straight to the point.

Just like the book, the beginning did drag on a bit. It seemed repetitive (almost like Twilight when Bella kept saying oh my goodness repeatedly), but it showed the struggle of an addict as well (in this case, alcoholism). There were quite a few themes going on in the book: alcoholism, divorce, cheating/unfaithful, and how these all affected a person psychologically. Then of course came the whodunnit aspect.

Would I recommend? I try to not read critics and what they say because what I think is obviously different than them. For me, I like to see how things impacted someone from beginning to end and what made them do the things they do. The novel/movie delivered that aspect so if you are into that, then I'd recommend it.

I finally got a chance to clean my Tiffany charm bracelet. I've noticed it starting to tarnish a bit so I decided to clean it with the polisher the store had given me with the gift. And damn, it worked like a charm! It's so shiny now. However, my charms are all scratched up because it keeps banging against the bangle. So I was unable to remove the scratches, but overall, the tarnish was gone. The cleaner has a weird smell to it. Definitely should open the windows next time when I clean it.

The older we get, the less tolerable we are to alcohol. At least that's with me. This past weekend was probably the most I've ever drank in my life. It started off with a cousin's wedding. It was beautiful of course. And then I saw him.

Now, this would make sense if you had read previous blogs (and this one goes way back to my terrible date stories). So I didn't know this particular person would be invited but I guess it's a small world. This was the one who had a crush on the Chinese Mafia girl and was trying to get at me as well.

Well, let's just say he wasn't seeing the Mafia girl anymore but he had another one with him, and who was 2 heads taller than him. I laughed, and I couldn't stop laughing.

I needed a drink. Or maybe a few more. Knowing that I'm light weight, I had to be careful not to get too carried away. I believe I had 2 beers and a tequila shot, and I was pretty much done for the night. Anything more and I'd be puking.

Right after the wedding, I went to another birthday party and had another drink, and played a game, which the loser has to drink. It was pretty fun, time of my life! Then I got home and passed out.

Next day there was another gathering. I had probably a couple of beers then had to stop because it was getting late. But both days I was pretty flushed. Because Asian glow baby! I was in a happy state. That was my limit sadly.

The following day, I had a bit of a headache and just didn't want to work. But I forced myself to plow through the day. To others that may seem miniscule. To me, that's enough drinking on my end. My worst moment was in Paris, when I had drank a champagne bottle, along with maybe 1/3 of red wine from a bottle. I knew what was going on around me and remembered what happened. I was also extremely flushed. Then of course I puked my guts out in front of my folks. Let's just say they were not impressed.

The following day I had the worst hangover. It was also the first day of my lovely period, and of course I had to have the worst cramps. Took a narcotic, and puked again. We were in Luxembourg and I didn't enjoy any of it because I just felt like crap. That was the first and only time drinking until I puked and I didn't enjoy it one bit. So I will never understand how some people enjoy doing that every weekend. It baffles me.

I've had a few near misses when it came to drinking. Two events I remember the most were at a bachelorette party and at a wedding. The bachelorette party included pre drinking before heading to a nightclub. I believe the entire night I had 6-7 drinks which included 3-4 shots of something. Then I fell asleep on the lounge sofa in the club. When I woke up, the club was closing and the wedding party was trying to get me up. Good times.

The wedding time I had a couple of drinks and shots as well. Then I passed out on the sofa. What's with me and passing out on the sofa after having a few drinks?!

Anyways those were the wild days. It's funny because those were not during my high school or university days. I just know I'm a cheap date when it comes to drinks.

What's with the Samsung 7 phone battery over heating/exploding? My experience with Samsung has been nothing but mediocre. The first and only flip phone I owned from Samsung was over 10 years ago when smart phones were still non existent. That phone was like iron. Still works to this day. The S4 that I had died within the year. The screen went nuts after 6 months and then it just died. Part of it at the end was my fault when I threw it on the floor after an argument. But prior to that, the screen was all weird and could've given someone seizures if they kept staring at the screen.

The battery sucked. It would always die so fast and then it would over heat. After that experience, I decided to stick with my iPhone, which I had for 5 years and had no issues of it over heating. The only time it over heated was when it was a hot day, and it was in my purse. The phone gave me a warning that it was too hot, and I couldn't use it, so it had to cool off before I could use it again. The first and only time I've seen that with the iPhone.

And look. It's still in one piece, unburnt. Yay iPhone!

Don't get me wrong. There are plenty of great companies out there and products. I used to hate Apple because their Mac computers back when we were in elementary school were always having problems. They only looked cool with the different colours but that was about it. I was always a Windows person.

Problem with Windows started happening when I went to high school. During the high school years, my computer always had some sort of virus and thus, I would lose my home work or pictures that I took over the years. I still remember my final year, I had just uploaded all my prom pictures and had all my last assignments saved/handed in, and one day they all disappeared. Just out of the blue. Turned on my computer and desktop was BLANK.

Like how the hell? What the hell Windows! DAMN YOU! I was pretty sad I had lost my prom pictures. I still have no idea where the SD card is. Or maybe I had uploaded them all and then deleted them off the camera. I really don't remember.

University was no different. I had a laptop, which I spilled hot chocolate on after a week of owning it. Got it fixed but it never really worked the same after that. It was always slow, and over heated. Eventually after 5 years I got rid of it. Worked and saved up for a Macbook. Never looked back because it's been almost 6 years and it still works like a charm. No viruses or anything crazy happening.

My mom's phone case had cracked and broke after barely 5 months. Not sure how that happened but we went to the Asian mall of all Asian malls to go shopping for another one. There was a sale happening so she chose a Hello Kitty case, which is AWESOME because it's pink and cute. Plus it looks much more durable than the previous one. So I'm happy we found one she likes and enjoys.

I also found out that there is a place there that sells hot and sour soup. Geez, they used to sell it everywhere and now it's so hard to find. I'm not sure why. Maybe something in there is unhealthy? I don't know. Either way, I'm just so darn happy I found a place to go to for that soup.

A few days ago, the Mustang club had gone on a cruise in the outskirts of Ontario. Lo and behold, one Shelby lost control and crashed. I kid you not. This actually happened. The owner had only gotten the car 3 weeks prior. From what witnesses have said, the driver was driving too fast in current weather conditions and lost control, flipping his car a few times. Driver and passenger survived with minor scratches.

Yes, weather nowadays is getting colder, the summer tires don't grip as well, so don't drive like a douchebag. Simple. Mustang driver or not. It's not the time now to be showing off on the streets how fast your car can take a corner or do a straight away. Especially when you don't know your car very well. I just smack my head sometimes seeing these people on cruises, showing off and then flip over. You may think it never happens on cruises, but it does. This is probably the 4th or 5th time I've heard a car flip over in the past year while on cruises.

Check your tires. Check your car. Check your ego. Seriously.

Alright time for bed time. :)

Mental Stress

Finally a day off! You don't know how excited I was for this day to come.

The last couple of weeks have been madness at work. It just seems that the longer you stay at one place, the more busier things get. It's not the same as before and it's not "easy" as before. At least that's how I feel.

They have trained me to be in charge of the unit, and let's just say it is tough. I knew it would be a lot of work for the in-charge, but this was just beyond ridiculous.

From the perspective of those who may think they know but they really don't, they assume the in-charge sits behind the desk all day, doing paperwork. So the paperwork should be easy to do in 8 hours, while the rest of the unit is busy running up and down the hallways, trying to attend to patients or give treatment etc. It makes it look like the in-charge is way easier to do versus being on the unit with 3 patients.

In reality? It's definitely not the case. Especially on day shifts!

It sounds easy trying to prepare the patient and staff assignment for the next day: go through the list, make sure everyone is on the list, assign staff to the patients, and done! Sounds easy right?

What people don't know is that in between those 8 hours, there is a phone call every minute or so, interrupting my chance to get my paperwork done. Maybe I'm still new to this, but it does get very annoying and distracting with phone calls ringing every 30 seconds. At least half the time, the phone calls are for me. So over half the time on my shift, I am on the phone with someone.

Then there are staff who come up to me to complain about assignment workload or what not, and then it takes time to figure out how to balance it out. Which takes time away from what I should be doing: tomorrow's assignment.

Transcribing doctor orders over the phone is also another common occurrence. The communication between doctors and I have to be accurate and carried out accordingly for the client.

Of course there are situations that can throw you off for the entire day: if someone doesn't show up for their treatment, if someone refuses to have their treatment etc. Their absence opens up a spot for other candidates. You don't have much time to think before you have to pull someone else to that empty spot to get the entire program flowing for the day. The goal is to not have any empty spots in the day time, in case something happens in the evening and they need a spot.

The worst is when you have a code happening on shift. As charge, you have to take charge and delegate to your staff on what to do. That's the scariest part. Having to do that, as well as trying to revive someone back to life. It's a lot of stress.

My pet peeve with this is having the evening charge come up and ask why so and so such thing wasn't done. I should've had time since I had extra staff on days. I just wish they were in my shoes to experience what I deal with on a daily basis.

I've learned a few things in my short time being at the desk:

1) People think I know everything so they come up and ask a billion questions. Of course if I don't know, I'd ask someone else. But that's the general attitude, especially from the newer staff.

2) There will always be that one person who looks at me as competition and will try to boss me around. In every place you go, there is always going to be that one bad apple.

3) Priority. A lot of things that happen on the unit is all based on prioritizing what's more important.

4) Flow. It's all about the flow of the unit. The goal is to keep it flowing and not stop.

5) Goals. There are a few but the big ones are that a) aiming to get as many treatments done in the day time versus evening, due to less staff being on evenings b) creating empty spots in evening or "float" staff in case an emergency occurs.

6) Reading and filtering over 500+ names is not easy. After a while, everyone's names start looking the same and it becomes impossible to find the names on paper.

7) In one day, our unit treated over 210 patients. No wonder it was hectic.

8) Last minute decisions. This goes with prioritizing, especially when there are no-shows. It does cause a lot of stress because I will always question my decision on whether it was the right call or not.

9) Communication. I find a lot of units lack this basic necessity. Every unit gets busy with their own thing, but to keep in touch with other units about transfers or discharges is probably the biggest problem. A lot of times I have to do my own assessment and investigation to find patients have been discharged home or vice versa (in hospital) without notification, and I would have to update our master list, as it will become critical to planning the entire schedule for the next day.

10) Respect. I respect my coworkers as much as they respect me. I know they have a busy day ahead of them and try to help/accommodate as much as I can.

11) Dislike. I know I won't be a fan to some people. Not everyone will like me based on how I operate a unit. I have to accept that.

12) Mental stress. This job takes a lot of mental stress from making critical decisions all day. It has drained me (I come home after a day of not taking any breaks or eating = I crash at home). It leaves no time to do anything except sleep and rest.

13) Learning. It is a huge learning experience to see how a program operates and work. No work day is the same thing. EVERYDAY is a learning experience.

14) A new found respect for the in-charge. I knew they were busy, but I didn't really know until I was behind the desk. Honestly, props to all those in-charges out there. It's tough work.

Closure

It had been an emotional week for one reason: M.

I took the weekend to start cleaning and throwing old things out or stuff that I didn't need anymore. As I was doing that, I noticed mom was also cleaning. Except she was cleaning M's items.

Ever since M passed away almost 10 months ago, we never touched his items. His food trays remained there, his clean litter box remained in the same spot, his carpet he used to sleep on in the kitchen. All the memories.

She was slowly cleaning it up.

I couldn't take it. I tried to not think about it, but the more I thought about it, the more hurt I felt that we were packing it away. It was difficult to deal with, but it was also hard for mom, as she really took care of M over the years too. So it was just as hard for her to deal with.

As the cleaning came to an end, there was a small cabinet that we wanted to throw out, but we had to clean the contents of it first.

We took it out, and it was cat collars, leashes, toys, and a small file of his medical records. As we went through each of the items, we both started crying.

The tears just came. There was no control.

It still hurts to think about it as I type this entry.

I ended up bringing all the items to a shrine we have made for him on the cat condo and stored his items there. I couldn't bear throwing those out. It belonged to him.

That same night, I ended up in tears. The next morning was the hardest. Waking up super early reminded me of the past when I woke up early for work and fed him food. Now as I walk downstairs, I don't see his litter box anymore. I walk into the kitchen, and I don't see his bowls or carpet anymore. What remains there is a small table with a phone on it.

I cried.

It was too much visual stimulation all at once for me to handle. I haven't seen an empty spot in the kitchen for the past 18 years. It was tough to accept, but I knew it was also the final closure.

And that's what was missing all this time: the final closure.

I don't know if I believe in closure, or these final closures. To have closure is to move onto the next chapter or a completely new path. But emotionally, I still struggle with letting go of the past. I feel that it's a betrayal to move on without M. It sounds dumb, but it's just how I feel.

It's been slowly getting better. I just have to not think too much about it. But when I do, that's when the tears come. Just taking it day by day again.

A for Effort

What's up everyone! It's been a while since my last post. Apologies as life has gotten pretty busy, mostly related to career development.

When I look back to the beginning of summer, it was nuts. If I had done all this 6 years ago, it would've been slightly easier but then again, I can't really say. I just can't believe summer is over. Just as I was about to start hitting the beaches in a bikini, sipping on alcoholic mix beverages, the cold weather has already hit the city and less humid days. What in the world! Now I have to think about putting on snow tires soon. How sad.

Rewind back to the start of summer 2016: I applied to a second job, I challenged my final course and got the go ahead to write a massive essay, and applied for the leadership program offered at work. I really had no idea what to expect. I didn't feel too confident in anything because maybe I'm just too old for all this. Or maybe the thought of M is always at the back of my head. He was here when I got my previous jobs, he was here when I passed my previous courses, he was here when I started my leadership roles. But now he's not here anymore. 

Recently, the newest addition to our family, a beautiful purple-pink fighter fish named Nemo, passed away yesterday. Less than a year of receiving him as a gift. The fish was bought from other family members to help cope with the loss of M. And now Nemo is gone too. 

My mind was so focused on family, that these career things didn't really phase my mind. If I got it then great, but if I didn't that's fine too. 

Eventually, I did hear back from all 3 by the end of the summer and I successfully got accepted to the second job, I passed my essay/will be receiving my post graduate certificate and recently got accepted to the leadership program for the year. It was a crazy summer, but in the end, I'm glad it's over.

Do I feel proud of the accomplishments? Somewhat. I don't know what to feel because it took a lot of sacrifice to family, from friends, from all my loved ones. There was time spent apart from everyone because my mind was pretty much just a workhorse machine. It was only focused on work and achievements. In the end, the mind is so exhausted, it just doesn't feel anything anymore.

I've missed out on hanging out with friends, something I used to do all the time and almost every weekend. I've missed out on going shopping with family, on weekend getaways, on small mini trips. It was almost 20 years ago when we had a class assignment and had to write to one travel vacation spot. I ended up choosing Muskoka, and I remember getting pamphlets from them to come visit. Mom has always wanted to go since then. It's been almost 20 years and she still mentions that we still have to visit. Of course I kept telling her yes, we should go this year! But every year, there was always something.

Take for example last year. We were suppose to go, but then after getting accepted to present at the national level, I spent many hours trying to prepare research and presentation that summer passed, and we didn't go. This year, I had booked off vacation time to bring them there, along with to other cities. But due to orientation weeks at the second job, I had to sacrifice my vacation time to attend orientation. Now that winter is coming, it will be hard to explore the city in cold weather. There is still time, but now it will really depend on the weather.

You see, when you're too career focused, you lose out on many of life events. I was taught to work hard and do my best, and whatever happens will be in God's hands. I do put in effort, but I think the past year has been really difficult dealing with M's passing that I tried to only focus on my career development. It was my coping mechanism, because it is still tough to talk about M to others. M's memory will always be with me, but when I think about the last hours, it still breaks me down. Every time I have a fight with loved ones, my mind flashes to M and his last few hours and it breaks me down even more.

I needed something to distract me, and I chose my career. Unfortunately I believe it was imbalanced because I was too focused on career development that I overlooked everything else in my life. My social life suffered, and so did my health. But I didn't give up.

Every year is always different. A year ago, I was still prepping for my presentation, I was training staff, I debated on taking more courses, and M was still here. This year, all those have been completed except M isn't here. My mood was excitement and happiness last year. This year, it's been solemn, grief, sadness. 

I wish I could turn back time and change certain things, but I can't. I can only try to move forward and see what life brings. This new journey has begun, and it is exciting and frightening at the same time. My only hope and goal now is to not let it become so unbalanced that I forget what life is really all about: love. 

My ARCT Journey

I don't think I've ever blogged about my journey to ARCT. Here goes:

What is ARCT? It stands for Associate of the Royal Conservatory diploma in performance and teaching in music, the highest academic standing awarded by the Royal Conservatory of Toronto. I had no idea what that was when I was 6 years old. I briefly remembered that when I was a little girl, I saw someone at church play an amazing repertoire and I wanted to be like her when I grew up. She was playing it fast, and I was amazed at how fast her fingers were moving across the piano.

I don't remember much when I was little (I have selective memory), but I was told my first quest to learn piano was around 6. Mom was excited that I wanted to learn something new and was willing to put me through lessons, but dad was not so eager. The family did not have any musical background, except for my brother who was learning organ years back, and he ended up quitting. Although he was good at it, I guess he didn't have the passion to continue. Dad didn't want to see another one of his kids quit so perhaps that's why he held back in letting me learn, because this meant having to buy a piano. Instead, I was told to learn the organ. But I didn't want to learn the organ. I wanted to learn the piano.

Fast forward 2 years later. I was 8 when finally, the decision to have me learn piano was granted. A beautiful Kawai gloss black upright piano was bought for me to learn. I finally began my journey as a pianist. In the beginning, it was somewhat easy but confusing at times. It was a combination of learning the keys, and trying to learn the basics of piano theory. Little did I know piano theory would be a pre-requisite to advancing to ARCT.

The requirements for piano (or what they call practical exams) vary from time to time because they keep changing the repertoires every few years, so my memory and experience with my repertoires are probably ancient compared to 2016. Just like school textbooks, I don't think there's a huge change in previous repertoires. Songs mostly remain the same, except maybe they add a few more in, or took out unpopular ones. Who knows what they decide.

I don't remember when I took my very first practical exam. All I knew that it was for Grade 3 Practical and I ended up with First Class Honours. I was proud of myself for doing that, but scared to death during the exam. In the beginning grades, there is one examiner. You play 3 songs or so from memory, and do skill tests as well (scales, playback, clapback rhythm). The passing grade is 60 (I believe it still is).

The next exam I took was Grade 6. Same thing except now they increased the amount of songs you have to play and memorize. You lose points if you have to go back to look at your songs. You lose points for playing wrong notes when it comes to songs, scales, playback, clapback etc. This takes practice. I mean a lot of practice. As you advance further up into the grades, the amount of time and practice increases. Before I'd practice 30 minutes a day. Now it was looking at about 2 hours (and mind you, this is during school time too so it would need to be divided into school home work and piano home work/practice).

Now, this is where the hard part begins, because this is when they really started introducing piano theory. Before I thought theory was optional; I didn't have to do it. But now, it was a requirement if I wanted to take it further with my studies.

I finished Grade 6 and skipped Grade 7. This was the turning point. I switched teachers. This was also the time I was finishing grade school and in the eyes of my parents, it was unacceptable that I was just entering Grade 8 piano. They got word that a spot had opened up at another piano teacher's place. A family friend had just finished Grade 10 piano, but was unable to continue her music studies due to university. She had to quit, so this left an open spot. My mother signed me up right away.

I was really sad to leave piano teacher #1 because she was so nice to me, gave me candy and stickers when I did well, in order to encourage me. Every week I'd look forward to receiving stickers. So I was pretty heartbroken that I would not be looking forward to that from this point on.

My first lesson with teacher #2 was alright. It was like doing an audition, and examiners may give you another chance. That type of feeling. Lesson #2 followed and that's where my hell of a journey for the next 4 years began.

The first words out of my teacher's mouth? "You didn't practice this week." My reply? I had a school trip to Ottawa for my graduation so I wasn't home for 3 days. His reply? "Well you still have 4 other days to practice."

I was shocked. My mom was not. Because she knew he was a strict teacher. She knew I needed this kick.

The days of stickers and candies were gone. I was in my pre-teens, entering the terrible teenage years. The rebellious years. I wanted to fight back but couldn't because well, I wasn't paying for these lessons. I had no job. I had no career. I was just beginning high school. I didn't want to become a bum for the rest of my life.

My piano teacher also became my theory teacher. He was a manager by day, and a piano/theory/violin teacher by night. It was incredible. And scary.

This was also the start of my theory journey. I hated theory. I didn't understand why I had to learn all these weird rules about writing composition. It's not like I'll become a songwriter for famous singers so I hated it with a passion. I knew I was definitely not the next Beethoven, so why should I learn about composition? The problem was, I had to learn it in order to do practical exams. As a kid, I didn't know about it until I was already in it. I thought it was just piano exams. I didn't know I had to write theory exams too!

By this time I had already finished my second theory exam with teacher #1 (or what they call Rudiments 2). My teacher asked how much I got. I think it was 82% and I thought I was proud of it as a 13 year old. His response? "That's it? My students got 100%." Yup, way to ruin a 13 year old's confidence in music. But it also showed something too: he is hardcore and serious about these exams and wants the best for his students.

At the start of lessons, the teacher had asked my parents what the goal was for me: to play for fun, or to get something out of it. My parents wanted me to get something out of it, the diploma. And so he laid out a plan for me for the next 4 years. When I should be taking theory exams, when I should take the practical exams. It was my life for the next 4 years. He makes a very good point as well. If you want to succeed in getting your ARCT in music, you must do it before university, because otherwise you will have very little to no chance due to being busy in school.

When I look back now, I've known people who got it before university, and one person who got it after university. There was no in between. University courses already take a toll on time, so it will be impossible to put aside 3 hours daily to practice piano and theory.

By 14 years old, I knew what I wanted: to graduate with an ARCT.

In the time frame of 8 months, I had completed both my Grade 8 and Grade 9 practical exams, both with first class honour standings, as well as two theory exams. It was the fastest I've ever completed a set of exams. The outline of equivalency is on the RCM website but just to summarize, each practical exam comes with a number of theory exams if you want your certificate for that particular grade.

For example:

Grade 8 certificate = grade 8 practical exam + rudiments 2 theory.
Grade 9 certificate = grade 9 practical exam + history 3 theory + harmony 3 theory.
Grade 10 certificate = grade 10 practical exam + history 4 theory + harmony 4 theory + counterpoint +  analysis 5 theory (or equivalent to that degree back in the day).

Not only do you get certificates for piano, but you also get certificates specific to theory. So Grade 5 Theory would have the equivalent of grade 5 harmony, grade 5 history, grade 5 analysis, all of which are separate exams that you have to write during the course of the year.

Examinations come 3 times a year: Spring, Summer and Winter. During my years in high school, I was writing exams at least 3 times a year, with one practical in between. This is on top of the midterms and final exams in high school.

One great thing about piano exams is that you can use that towards your high school credit, so I did that for sure to balance out my time line, as well as take extra courses. But it is a lot of work and it will take up most of your time.

Grade 10 piano takes about a year and a half to complete on average, and all the theories have to be completed within 5 years of doing the grade 10 piano examination, otherwise you will have to redo grade 10 again. This is a requirement in order to advance further to ARCT. Grade 10 is probably the hardest level to complete because of all the songs you have to memorize, as well as the skill set involved. The overall average to pass grade 10 is 75% or a 70% in each of the skill set (i.e scales, playback) in order to advance to ARCT. If you fail at scales or one of the subsections, you have to retake it and pass it in order to advance. In a way, it's good because you're given another chance but it is time consuming because you have to wait until the next examination period to do it. You can't just do it online or apply whenever you want. You have to wait 5 months until the next exam period (which is a waste of time in my opinion).

My teacher had recommended me to learn a Grade 10 song while learning Grade 9, and I used a Grade 10 song as one of my lists for Grade 9. I never knew you could do that, but in the long run, it makes it a bit easier for the preparation for the next level. So for Grade 10, I used a song from ARCT as one of the list (there's List A, B, C, D, E and Studies subsections). In a way, it was like fast tracking.

Depending which ARCT you decide to do (either performance or teacher), performance is purely just piano songs. You play 6 songs, all memorized, in front of 2 examiners for an hour or so (this will depend on how well you play, how long your songs are, as well as if the examiners are tight on time). The songs are each on average about 14-16 pages long so yes, you will be sitting down for at least an hour of playing almost non-stop. Teacher's will include skill set as part of the exam, although I'm not sure if they changed the outline of that now.

ARCT takes about an average of 2 years to prepare. On top of Grade 10, which is an average of 1.5 years, you are looking at about 3-3.5 years to prepare for 2 grades in order to graduate. If you have an excellent teacher like mine, as well as have the mind to push yourself, you can do it in 2.5 years or less. This would require a lot of daily practice. An average of 5-6 hours of practice time daily is needed. And yes, you would have to really prioritize your school work, so finish all the homework at school, and leave the rest for piano. I had planned for spare periods in between my school schedule so I used those spares to practice piano at school.

I'm not the greatest pianist of all time, nor am I a gifted one. I knew I needed practice, so that's what I had to do. If I knew I was going to be out for the entire day on a weekend, I woke up early to practice. I don't mean 8 or 9am. I mean 4am. Yes I have woken up at 4am to practice piano, until about 7 or 8am because I knew I would be out for the entire day. I can't remember exactly how much I practiced because I always regretted that I could've practiced more. It could've been around 5-6 hours, but when your mind is so concentrated on music, you lose track of time.

Unlike the rest of the practical exams, the ARCT passing grade is set at 70%.

Once I got the letter for graduation, I was overjoyed. It's the most amazing feeling in the world to finally finish everything. It had taken me 10 years from the start of learning, to the finish line but I was so happy it was over. In 4 years with this teacher, I had completed 4 practical exams and 8 theory exams. If it wasn't for him, or for my folks, or God above, I wouldn't have completed it. I would've just given up like the rest.

The key to this success? Don't give up. Always have a plan. You may think the negative words and comments are there to throw you off, but in a way, you need to see it as a motivation. You need to use that as motivation to keep pushing forward. Whenever I hit a wrong note, my teacher would slap my fingers, and hey, IT HURT! I got yelled at, slapped, given the most negative feedback I could think of. I had gone home crying after lessons before, thinking I was a complete failure. I wanted to give up so many times. It was not worth my time to practice and then get negative feedback. I saw the amount of time and money my parents had invested in this activity of mine, and I knew they wanted to get something out of it. They had told me if it was too much, then I should quit. This came at a crucial time of high school finals and university applications. If this was too much, then quit and focus on school.

Keep in mind these lessons were not cheap. Piano lessons can vary from $20/hour to as high as $75/hour, and that's just piano. Then there's theory. You could be paying as high as $140 per lesson for 1.5 hours. It's a waste if I did this for 4 years then quit. I wanted something out of it as well.

So I kept going. I wanted to make them proud. I wanted to make myself proud. And I did. Not only did I receive my ARCT (and the first one in the immediate/extended family to do so), but I also graduated high school, and got accepted to university and program of my choice all within the same month. It was not an easy journey, but it was one that I will always remember for the rest of my life, and one that I can pass onto future generations.

My dad reminds me every time I hit a wall in my life: If you ever feel like giving up in anything in life, always look back at the time you got your ARCT. If you can do that, you can do anything in life if you put your heart and mind to it. Don't give up, but just try your best.

It's been over 10 years since graduation, and these words still stick with me. Thank you all who have been here with me through this journey.

Pet Peeve - Empty Lot

I'm sure most of you have this pet peeve when you enter an almost empty lot, you park somewhere, and this random car comes up and parks RIGHT BESIDE YOU.

Come on, of all places you could've parked, you HAD to park beside me.

Here's my story:

I was in my folks' car driving to a grocery store, when on the way there, the under tray piece from underneath had cracked and flown off. The grocery store was not too far away so we pulled in to inspect. The parking lot was huge, and there were about 10 cars parked near the front of the store. No big deal. Folks pulled up not too far from the front and parked.

At this point, there are no cars beside us or behind us, but they were around, parked I mean. I got out to inspect underneath to see which side had flown off and how bad the damage was. It was at this point a black Dodge Caravan came into the lot and decided to park beside us. When there were hundreds of other spots out there. He could've parked 2 spots away, but NOPE. He just HAD TO park beside us.

The part that pissed me off the most? As I was inspecting and had my head in the wheel, and trying to not bend over so much, the driver honks. Why? Because I was in the way of his parking spot. Almost like to say "watch where you're going lady! I could've killed you!"

I gave him the most bitch face look I could give anyone who crossed my path, and told him off in Mandarin, calling him a crazy sh*thead and that he was an idiot for not parking elsewhere when there was so many other spots around.

The guy was stunned.

I think his wife was equally as stunned. During this time frame, he did not get out of his van, but the wife did and walked quickly into the store. Finally, after determining which part of the under tray was damaged, my folks and I walked into the store as well. We grabbed whatever we needed then headed back out.

At this point, the driver was no longer in the driver seat. He must've been so terrified to leave his car alone. He probably thought I would destroy his car.

Come on. It's a Dodge Caravan. Why would I touch that. It already has its crappy build quality and issues so it will break down on its own, regardless if I touch it or not.

Soon after we came back to the car, the minivan couple came out as well. Damn. I couldn't do anything to his van (not like I planned to anyways. I'd get my ass kicked). Nothing happened after that, except that I gave them another death stare.

Before, I would've let it slide because I'm just so nice like that. But after you've been taken advantage of many times by people who supposedly "care" for you over the years, you eventually don't trust anyone and aren't nice to anyone anymore. Your mind just gives up and says, screw you all. If you're in the wrong, I'm going to make sure you know you're in the wrong.

It annoys the crap out of me when the other person is clearly in the wrong, but they blame it on the other person. It's retarded. Do they not teach people anymore to accept fault when it's clearly their fault? To not blame others when it's clearly their own fault? The attitude of this society scares the living crap out of me. I wouldn't want to raise kids with society's attitude like that. I rather tie my tubes and sterilize myself than to raise kids in this messed up society.

Hopefully he will learn his lesson to not park beside someone when an entire lot is empty from now on. I doubt it because he's Chinese and Chinese people never really learn their lesson (coming from an Asian background, it is true to some degree).

But seriously. Empty lot. Come on.

Prada Saffiano Wallet

As mentioned previously, I had purchased an item from the consignment shop, jodidayscloset (www.jodidayscloset.com), located in Toronto, Canada. The prices are fixed in Canadian dollars on the website and her Instagram, so don't try bargaining with her to get the price down. The prices are based on the popularity of the item in the luxury market.

What made me decide to get this item? A few factors. The first one was because I've been looking for a similar sized item for a while, but couldn't justify buying it brand new. I didn't need it to be brand new because it was something I would be using everyday, so it was going to wear down regardless. Second, I had a similar one but in a different colour. I sold it a while ago because of a certain douche bag. Hilarious because it was "for his mom" but given to me months prior. Right. Thanks for the free money! Third, I saw the colour and knew I had to get it.

I had hopes I would see it via the consignment route. The item is currently sold out on Prada's website (at least in this colour), and I haven't been shopping at the local malls lately so I don't know if they are really sold out or not in stores. I just kept waiting, and waiting. Lo and behold, I saw it pop up on the site. And lucky for me, it was a colour that could match with my collection! I knew it was the right time. 

It was bought in early 2015 by the previous owner. Condition was 9/10, with some darkened areas around the corners, but overall it was still in very good condition. The leather has softened over time which is great. Hardware has no scratches, still shiny. It came with the original box, bag and authenticity card as well as a receipt. 

So here's my reveal: Prada Saffiano Wallet in Peonia (or peony pink)!

 Comes with the bag, box, authenticity card, and receipt.

 Tada! 

 Holds up to 10 cards, as well as a back compartment and bill compartment.

 The bill compartment. My pet peeve would be that now the bills will come out all folded up versus flat. I like flat bills.

 Comes with coin compartment.

 Reminds me of a diary book for some reason.

 The size comparison between the Prada and Coach long wallet (which I've had for over 3 years).

Finally, my peonia/peony pink collection from Prada.

Some details:

Name: Saffiano Metallic Gold Leather Wallet

Company: Prada
Style No.: 1M1225

Colour: Peony Pink

Size: 14cm (length) x 9.5cm (height)

Features: steel hardware with metal lettering logo, snap closure, 10 credit card slots, 2 document pockets, 1 coin compartment with zipper closure

Price: $650 (brand new) plus tax

Hope you enjoy this review/reveal. If you are looking at the consignment route for any luxury items, contact Jodi at jodidayscloset. If you are local, send her a message to say you can pick up locally, and you won't get charged for shipping. Two big thumbs up!

In conclusion, I think I'm a Prada girl. PG!

Day Off

I almost forgot what it's like to have a day off.

I stayed in bed for most of the day, because I just felt so exhausted. It felt good to not do anything except to sleep. I didn't feel productive at all with my life though, so that sucked. But at least I slept really well. 

I started watching The Mindy Project on Netflix. Now that show's addicting! It was suggested from a good girl friend of mine, plus when I saw a clip of the show, Mindy was wearing a classic Chanel piece. I had to watch it, for her and her handbag of course. Although she plays a doctor in the show, you don't have to be in the medical field to understand the show, because it's mostly a romantic comedy show which focuses on her (failed) love life. I find it similar to Ugly Betty, except from a medical perspective. Ugly Betty was an awesome show; it was sad to see it end but that too was also a very entertaining show.

Today was suppose to be the second annual Toronto Car Spotting meet at Erin Mills shopping centre, but that got cancelled because...I forgot why. It's now moved to next Sunday. That's ok though, I would've been way too tired to make it out. Unfortunately next week I'll have to miss it due to work. 

Starting tomorrow, I begin my marathon of working 13 straight days. I've never done this before, so keep me in your prayers that I don't break a leg by the end of this stretch. Hopefully I don't get sick either. *Fingers crossed*

Oh yes, I do have to share my purchase lately from Jodiday's closet. As you have probably read a while ago, I had used her to purchase consignment items from her. Authentic luxury items. I'll leave my next post to reviewing and revealing what I purchased.

Man, my leg kills. It feels like I've been doing leg day non-stop, that kind of burning feeling. But I haven't done leg day in a long time. This didn't start until yesterday while working halfway through a shift. I thought I slept kind of funny, but I didn't sleep on that side of my leg. So it didn't make sense. Then I realized, maybe it was the time I was helping to transfer someone. The hoyer lift wasn't working properly. 2 others and I had helped to transfer. I must've been in a funny position or something when I lifted. Never lifted with my back, but definitely used my leg muscles. Now my leg kills. It really feels like I pulled something because I can't walk properly. There is a non-stop aching feeling going down my leg, but primarily in the upper thigh part. Anyways I'll just keep an eye out for it and see what happens.

CNE is opening this Friday! Which I probably can't make it because of work. Gosh, work sucks.

Alright, time to go back to sleep.

Happy August!

Wow, it's been a while since I last blogged about something.

Things have been pretty hectic lately, with orientation, training, application and the final project essay to write, along with working pretty much everyday. Health becomes a priority during this stressful time, making sure I get enough rest and eat properly everyday, as well as get some sort of exercise like walking around the neighbourhood.

I'm thankful my body has not broke down by working so much and lacking sleep. For the very first time in my career, I have never worked 16 hours for 5 days straight, with approximately 5 hours or less of sleep each night and commuting between 2 jobs. Now I know what it feels like to be working 2 jobs. I know people who balance 2-3 jobs and I've always wondered how they managed to do it. Let's just say it's very tough, but you have to have a will to do it. A lot of them have children and family to support, as well as paying off life's crazy expensive bills with mortgages, electric utility bills, cable, property tax, you name it. To them, their family and children are what drives them to do what they do. They may be really tired, but they know they have to do it to survive.

Unfortunately with rising housing costs, as well as just costs in general to buy everyday items, having one full time job does not guarantee stability. I didn't understand what they meant, until I went through it. And they are right. By the time you pay off all the bills, you have very little to play around with, or save. This is why many take on a second job to save up or buy things that they've always wanted to get but couldn't.

For me, it isn't about the cost, or money that drove me to do what I do. I took on 2 jobs because I wanted to learn more about each corporation, the various policies and procedures, and see the differences between each site. In a way, I'd like to combine all the things I've learned at one corporation over the years and apply the knowledge to the second corporation and vice versa. Of course each corporation has their own policies to follow so it must be followed and can't be mixed up. That's the hard part. The longer you stay at one corporation, the harder it becomes to climb up and move on because you get so used to everything and everyone.

This is the most challenging that I have found in terms of learning and applying my skills. Because I got so used to the old ways, it's hard to learn different ways sometimes.

People think I'm crazy for taking on these jobs because it only leaves me one day a week to rest. That I need to enjoy life more, that I'm too young to be taking on 2 jobs etc. It's almost like going back to the book of Genesis, where God says we work 6 days and on the 7th day, or Sabbath day, we rest and honour Him. When we think of our great ancestors and how much they worked, we wonder how they managed to do all that work in 6 days! Of course lots of things changed over time and over the years. People have tried taking short cuts to work less but make more money. In reality, if it was really that easy, we would all be doing that, but majority of us still work most days and gain average salaries, or less. So I don't believe it when people tell me there are easy ways to make money and not have to work so hard. There is no such thing.

Yes, totally understand there's a lot of sacrifice that goes into this, in particular my favourite: sleep. But I know this will benefit positively for the future for me. All this hard work will eventually pay off. It's the transition period that's always the most difficult. But by God's grace I'm still surprisingly able to function without a cup of coffee (I never drink that stuff. Doesn't taste good in my opinion). What's better than having your body's epinephrine instead of an external caffeine stimulant?

Secondly, I haven't gone out much because of work. I try to but then I hear news stories about the latest shooting or fighting or something. It's ridiculous how you end up being fearful of stepping outside because you don't know if you'll be coming home alive that same day, due to someone else's stupidity or beef with their enemy. It just so happens you walk into their situation and get caught up. Thankfully it hasn't happened to me or to anyone that I know of. I remember one Saturday I was suppose to be off, but ended up working. I was suppose to go to Eaton Centre that day too. It was that afternoon that there was a shootout inside the mall, during the afternoon. It injured a few, and one died (I believe it was one of the enemies or target). Something as simple as going to the mall becomes a scary moment.

I know, maybe you might think I'm too negative and I should just go with the flow. Or simply paranoid. Maybe I'm all that. But I rather take my own precautions so that I don't have to get caught up in the wrong crowd.

Speaking of shopping, I decided to buy something via the consignment route. It was pretty much a spur of the moment. It's something I've been thinking of getting for a while, after selling my other item but I couldn't justify paying the taxes and the price that the company was asking for, brand new. Lo and behold, I found a listing and decided to get it. I will be sure to share with you all what I ended up getting!

Now I'm on the phone with Air Canada...I should say listening to their stupid long replay of lame music, trying to get a hold of a representative. I figured maybe if I call in the middle of the night I would have better luck getting an agent to help me with a flight. But nope. Wait time for an agent? 30-45 minutes! More like 2 hours. It's been almost 35 minutes that I've been on hold. Thank God for free minutes. I wouldn't pay a single cent to be put on hold with Air Canada. Never had to call AC for help before so this is my first time experiencing this. If I could fix it online I would, but I can't. This sucks. So I sit here typing and waiting...

This is nuts. I can't believe it's August already. I barely had time to enjoy the summer and now it's halfway done?! That's nuts. The weather lately has been a bit crazy, being way too warm. But then again, I'd prefer this over the snow. Actually wait, I like the cold weather. Not freezing weather, but it's got to be just right. Who am I kidding, this is Canada after all. The land of PMS-ing mother nature.

Hmm...I should do a review of Air Canada Reservations help line. So far they're getting a negative 100 for service, and I haven't talked to anyone yet.

Cruises. Right! I totally forgot if I had already wrote about the cruise to Wasaga Beach with the GTA GTR Club. The group hit the beach at the end of July for a nice cruise through the city and upwards to the country side roads. There are some really nice twisty roads up there. Didn't see any cops, and none of us got in trouble with anything. We used the Glympse app to keep everyone together and not have everyone lost. At some point, people did get lost because the group got split up briefly, so some time was lost because of people trying to find their way. Eventually all was good. We got to Wasaga Beach where we all parked together, took some photos, and went to the beach to set up a tent. Some of us strolled on the beach, some of us went to the Wasaga Beach Rib Fest. All I cared about was funnel cake. Except I didn't walk far enough to get one. Sad face.

The RibFest was pretty small to be honest. There were 4 large booths, and a couple of stands for drinks but that was about it. Not like the huge ones they have within the city like Toronto or Mississauga. It was all good, we had some ribs and they were pretty good. Very filling but good. We headed back to the beach and tent where we dipped our feet in the waters. I haven't been to Wasaga in so long so I totally forgot how shallow the waters are. You could walk 500m and the water would still be at your knees. It was a nice, refreshing way to cool off during a warm day. Eventually it was time for us to depart, so the group left together, took some rolling shots, and then parted ways.

Alright, about 50 minutes later, an agent is finally on the line! Got my ticket changes done, and the lady is pretty nice, although I am not happy about the money difference I have to pay. Otherwise it went smooth.

*NOTE* Don't buy airline tickets for friends, especially if they are ones who back out. Long story short, one of the friends was suppose to go on a trip earlier this year with a group of us. My girl friend had gotten my ticket already, and considering I couldn't get points, we both thought buying for our other friend was a good idea. I could collect my points then. This friend had said he would go on the trip with us and was super excited, and I did tell him I'd buy it because of points purposes, and that he would pay me back (which he did). Lo and behold, he backs out at the last minute. I cancel his ticket, but of course I can't get a 100% refund because it was more than 24 hours since the booking.

I could still use this credit towards my next flight, which I did. However, because the booking was under his name, but the payment was under my name, and now I need the tickets under my name, it's an extra $100 to change the name. Ridiculous right? That extra $100 cost me more than the difference I have to pay for the flight. Lesson learned. And oh, I want to strangle that friend.

Alright it's been a long day and long night on the phone. Time to get some much needed rest. Good night all you lovely people!

Busy Bee

Hello readers!

Sorry it's taking forever to post things. It's been crazy busy the past few weeks with applications, project essay, scheduling and finally starting a second job/career.

Lots of things happening in the news lately, especially with these mass shootings. No where you go is safe these days. It's kind of sad how you can't even go to McDonald's to get food without being shot. Stay safe everyone. It's unfortunate the world has come to this point.

Work has been pretty nuts lately dealing with critical situations and what not. I'm just glad I have a few days off from the chaos to focus on my research paper.

So that's the latest update. When I have a bit more time to sit down and write a theme, I will do that. In the meantime, hope you all have a good rest of the week!

Homelessness

As you drive downtown, or uptown or wherever you're heading and you stop at a stop light, you suddenly see this guy (or girl) sitting at the corner with a sign or a bucket collecting change from people.

At red lights, they usually get up and go through the traffic, asking for change from drivers who are stopped. Depending on people, they could give them change or not. You feel bad for them so you roll down your window and give them $5. They say thank you, you say no problem. The lights turn green, and off you go.

You may feel relieved that you helped someone with a basic breakfast, or part of it, but what you may not realize is how long they've been standing at that corner, or what scheme they have in their heads. Or how much they've collected all day. It's also none of our business what they do with the money that we give them. Drugs, prostitutes, food, clothes. We wouldn't know.

Homelessness is a real issue, and I have volunteered before at a homeless shelter so I do see the struggles that people face. We do whatever we can to try and help them get back on their feet, and start life over again.

Problem is, it's the fake people that ruin the desire to help those who really need it.

What do I mean by that? I have read/seen on the news how privileged people pretend to be homeless, dress up as homeless, and beg for money at street corners. At the end of the day, they take whatever they make back home, and use it to their own advantage.

There was a male dude (I believe it was in Toronto) who was caught on the news for pretending to be homeless. The crew had followed him from the street corner to his two storey home (and it was a pretty nice home), and tried to interview him. The guy was very reluctant, swore at the news crew, and threatened to call the police on them for trespassing onto his property.

This guy had worn dirty, old ripped clothes, made himself look disheveled, and fooled everyone. At the end of his "shift", he changes into his dress pants and dress shirt to go home.

This is not the first or only story about "fake homelessness" but it seems to be on the rise. This already gives the "privileged" people the perception that no one is to be trusted, so they stop helping those on the streets.

This is also the part that boils my blood, because it's also privileged people who take advantage of those in need, in order to gain something more for themselves. In the end, we have no clue if we should help or not, because we don't know if they're really homeless or just taking advantage of everyone else and the system for the homeless.

My experience of volunteering at the homeless shelter while in school really helped to open my eyes with what they really go through. Mental illness. Broken families. Drug addicts. Some of them had privileged lives before and lost everything because of gambling debts, or drug debts. There is already that stigma while they try to get their lives back together. 

And now it's becoming even more harder; people may not want to help, because they don't know if they're really in need of help or not. 

Life isn't fair. True. But we all need to play a role in making society a better place to live in. Not take advantage of each other. People say animals are so smart and so caring. We are given the gift to be dominant over animals, vegetables and plants; we do have the heart and the knowledge to be better than animals and plants. Because right now with our actions, we are worse than animals and plants. Do you really want to be compared to an elephant or a venus fly trap plant? A cucumber? 

As a hard working citizen, I want to be sure that my hard earned cash is going towards someone who is really homeless and needs it to get back on their feet. I pay enough taxes (damn you government!) and I'm sure the rest of you do too. I'm also sure you would like to see your hard earned cash go towards something positive (although we may never know). Not towards someone who clearly doesn't need it, to fund their shopping spree on cigars or watches.

Club Mannerisms

My rant today is about mannerism.

This one pretty much stems from helping others, but not receiving the same respect back, instead being thrown under the bus. I'm pretty sure all of you know at least one person who does that to everyone or have done that to you at least once. Those people aren't really your friends. They are just there to use you to gain more respect for themselves.

I really do feel sorry for those people, people who use people to gain something more for themselves. It really is a sad world we live in.

Anyways, to give you a brief overview of what I mean, I will break it down to you on events that happened in the past month, and you will see why I feel the way I feel.

Let's rewind about 3 (almost 4) weeks ago, when a car club was going on a rally. Almost all of these rallies have sponsors, and so in order to promote these companies, the clubs have decals made and stick them on the cars.

SO was to also go on this rally, but there's a lot of prep work that goes into it: car cleaning, putting on decals, packing etc. I knew SO needed to get the decals put on by the club, so off we go to meet the members and get the decals put on. Now, here is where it gets "too nice".

We both offered to help the club put on the decals for their trucks that will be accompanying them for the rally. It takes a few hands to make it work, especially if it's a huge decal that spans half the length of the truck. So we figured the more people, the faster this can get done and the faster that people can get out of there since it was a hot day.

What should've been a 10 minute stay turned into a couple of hours or so, because we helped them with the decals. They said thanks at least, but didn't sound too genuine.

Fast forward about a week and a half or so. There is a huge photo shoot event happening with 2 car clubs at the local airport. This is in combination with the above club. SO and I are responsible for one club, and the other club is responsible for their members.

Most of the members from our club had arrived already and were already waiting at the gates to get in. Once all the things had been organized inside, SO was responsible to direct the cars to park, while I was responsible for getting the members through the gate. Members from the other club were also at the gate, responsible for their members entering.

After a head count, pretty much all of our members arrived on time and were already parked. We were waiting on a couple of cars to come in, but they were far away. So we told them that once they arrived at the gates, just call one of us and we will let you in. At this point, our duty at the gates were done. However, the other club had members they were still waiting on (and I mean more than 1) cars so they were still manning the gate. SO and I go back to the main event to check out the event and see how things are going. Our last member arrived safely, so all was accounted for our group.

About 3/4 of the way through the event, we get a message from the host of the venue, yelling that no one was manning the gate, and no one had told security that they were leaving the gate.

(To clarify: this was at an airport, so when no one is at the gate, anyone will be able to sneak in and go on the runway. Liability becomes a huge issue, and the venue will get in trouble for it if someone is injured or killed).

Here comes the best part: the founder of the other club member tells this host that it was SO and I's duty to man the gate. That we were responsible for it and it was our fault that we didn't tell anyone that we left the gate.

This guy, the very same guy we had helped to put stupid decals on his stupid club trucks just threw us under the bus.

SO didn't know until the host of the venue told him what was said to her. Of course he became really mad. Not only that, but now the venue was charging extra money on each car that had entered because of this unmanned gate. Tried to bargain it but to no avail.

Alright, whatever so the event was over. We got our pictures. It's all over I guess?

Not really. Because I was still pretty mad about how SO was treated. The bitch mode came high on when we saw our club pictures being promoted on the models' personal page, but promoting the other club. Not only that, but our club watermark was half missing.

To clarify things even more: both club members paid for the models and the venue. Nobody sponsored anybody during this event. This was a paid event. It wasn't like one club paid for everything and the rest got in free. Nope, EVERYONE and I mean EVERYONE paid for this event and for these models.

So to see SO's hard work being stomped on and not getting club acknowledgement, it made me fume. I think if you saw your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend put in a lot of work in planning and helping to get things organized in the club, you would want to acknowledge their hard work. My reaction is just like any other normal human being's action.

I called out the lady with barely any clothes on, and said it was a joint event. And to also acknowledge both clubs as both clubs had paid for her, along with her other scantly clothed friends, to attend this photo shoot (AND I AS WELL. I CAN'T BELIEVE I PAID FOR THIS. I'M NOT EVEN LESBIAN).

Then this lady had said she was told to just show up by the other club, and that it was sponsored by them. Hence why she kept promoting the other club. Ok, well that ain't her fault. But it's definitely the other club then, for being sneaky bastards - to try and claim everything as theirs. Their event, their models, their hard work, their money, their time. You name it.

And come on. There is no such thing as "our models". What, do you own them? If that's the case, might as well consider yourself a pimp, because pimps own prostitutes. Models are models. They don't belong to anyone.

People now think I'm a complete bitch for being a bitch to the models and the other club. But if you were in my shoes, you'd probably do the same: You'd stand up for the one you care about because you don't want to see their hard work being thrown down the toilet. I'm not trying to gain fame from this, or try to win tickets for some lame event. I'm just trying to stand up for what's right.

I'm told that I have no class, I'm an asshole, immature. You name it. Haha once you're in the "car scene", you're pretty much all of the above. There are other ways I could've done it, but this was the path I chose and this is what I had to deal with. My thinking hasn't changed, my outlook hasn't changed these years. I'm still nice to people, but it really depends.

If people are using me to gain what's best for them, then screw them. Dragon lady will come out to haunt you in your dreams. I'm a pretty mild dragon lady. I know of worst ones than I. So I'm really not all that bad.

I don't regret what I've said. I don't regret the event happening. I don't regret standing up for someone who I care about. I don't regret anything. Because this really shows the real side of some people, if they're genuine or not. That's how you learn if they are real friends or just people out there to use you and do business. From this event, it was all about business from the get go. It's just unfortunate that the nice people got dragged into this, and got thrown under the bus. And you wonder where all the nice, genuine people went.

They died when they got run over by the bus.

Some tips?

1) Learn manners. Isn't that what mom and dad taught when we were kids? I find it scary that some 4 year olds have way better manners than 50 year olds. It's sad, really sad. And scary.

2) Say thank you. I mean really mean it. Not like a HMPH THANKS!

3) Don't go throwing people under the bus, because it will come bite you in the ass later on.

4) Don't take credit for all the work when you know another person also put in time, effort and money into the same damn event. Acknowledge them as well. Don't be an asshole.

5) Stand up for what you believe, and for your loved ones. Sometimes the best thing to do is to keep quiet, but when you know that your loved ones have been stomped on, don't stay quiet. Stand up and fight for them.

6) Don't plan car events with another group.

Louis Vuitton Experience

This is a very belated post. First off, Happy Canada day to Canada! And Happy 4th of July to the USA!

Things have been quite busy lately, whether it's job related or cruise related (mostly work related), hence why posts have been quite delayed lately. However I am a bit more active on Instagram (@carsnpurses) as I have pictures uploaded at least twice a day if I'm not too crazy busy.

Last month, I decided to check out the Louis Vuitton store, because 1) I finally found a purse that I like and can see myself wearing a lot 2) It's multifunctional 3) Louis Vuitton has been having price drops in the past month (weird right?!) 4) This will be my very first LV bag.

Now I had decided to wait and wait, hoping the price would go down even more. However, bags are like the stock market: you just never know when it will go down or up. The bags will never go out of style because it is a classic, so I wasn't in any rush to get it.

But it just so happened that on the day I purchased it, there was the GTA GTR Club cruise that was taking off from Yorkdale. Members were given about 1.5 hours to meet at the parking lot before setting off on the cruise. Lucky me, I got there just after 12pm, and the first thing I did was hit the shopping mall. Well, of course I said hello to my honey first, gave him a hug, and said "Ok I'll see you in a bit, gotta go get that purse!" Of course he rolled his eyes at me, and said to come back by 1:30pm otherwise my butt would get left behind. Yikes ok!

Here I am running in the parking lot, and finally into the mall. I speed walk, because slow walking just doesn't do it for me. I hadn't eaten at all in the morning, but it's ok. Get the purse first! Then whatever time I had, I'll wolf down food.

Got to the LV store. Things haven't changed much, and since I was in a rush, I went to the first lady I saw standing there, and said I wanted to get a purse. She paged a lady named Stephanie to come assist me.

Stephanie was very friendly, down to earth and out-going as well. We had a great conversation about the variations of purses that I wanted. Initially I thought the PM would work well for me, and she asked if I wanted to see the MM as well, but I refused and said PM would be fine. Boy was I wrong.

She had brought out the PM for me to see, but it was in the wrong style (monogram instead of damier ebene). After the small confusion, I got what I needed and ran to get some food, then ran back to the GTR meet, where they were departing shortly thereafter.

I went home that night, opened the bag, and tried to fit all my essential items that I would take on a night out. Man, it took some effort. Couldn't even fit my long wallet in the bag! So I had to downsize. But even when I downsized the wallet, it was still a struggle. I did the upside down challenge to see if the flap would let go, and all my stuff did fall out (oops).

So I knew I had to get the bigger size.

I called up LV and explained the situation, saying if it was possible to upgrade the size. Stephanie put on the MM on hold for me until I could come in to pick it up. The day I picked it up, I realized it was the wrong style that was reserved. So that had to be clarified and fixed. It took a while as they have to go through the system and do some changes before going to get it. I guess it has to do with inventory and what not.

Overall, it was a great experience. Some shops are very strict on handbag returns and exchanges as there are a lot of people out there who try to swap the real with the fakes, and return the fakes to the actual store. I was a bit nervous about it as it was my first time exchanging a bag, but they were very good with me. There was a lot of verbal communication to clarify things so to me, that was the most important.

If you are ever at the Yorkdale location, ask for Stephanie. I also saw online that people have recommended her as well, and I was lucky to have her as my sales associate.

Here below is my new honey: LV Favorite MM.

 The front metal face plate. It scratches very easily. I still have the original wrapping on it.

 Details on the gold hardware.

 The back view. There is no back pocket.

 The interior. Loving the red!

 This is what I was able to stuff in there. Credit cards, coins, money, lipstick are all in the black Coach pouch.

 This is how it looks after I stuff it up.

 With the flap closed and with the gold chain hanging out or...

 You can always tuck away the gold chain inside.

The side view after all the items are inside. You can see it still retains its shape and doesn't bulge out like crazy.

Favorite MM with the Juicy Couture Viva La Juicy perfume bottle.

 Favorite MM with some accessories.

Favorite MM with the Holt Renfrew 2015 Bear.

Just a glance:

Company: Louis Vuitton
Name: Favorite MM

Style: Damier Ebene (available in Monogram and Damier Azur)

Material: Canvas

Size: 28cm x 17cm x 4cm (length x height x width)

Straps: 1 short gold chain that can be detached on one side to hide inside, and 1 shoulder strap made in cowhide leather which can be detached completely. Strap can be worn over the shoulder or cross body (although if you're tall, the bag will hit you just above the waist).

Interior: One big compartment to fit all the items, with 1 interior flat pocket (you cannot fit an iPhone 5 inside it)

Closure: Magnetic closure

Hardware: Golden hardware/brass

Can be carried: on the hand, wrist, shoulder or cross-body