Happy Easter weekend to everyone out there! May we take this moment to realize what a blessing life is. Thank God for being so merciful to us, and for giving each of us life.
Have you ever wondered why a good amount of the population these days are getting sick? When I mean sick, I don't mean the flu or the general cold. I mean cancer. Organ failure. Kidney disease. Hypertension. Diabetes. Hyperthyroidism. Diabetic neuropathy. Diabetic retinopathy. Liver failure.
It's an interesting topic, one of which the answer won't be so straight forward.
It was a question asked by an older couple to me, and one who was suffering from a few combinations of the above. Why is it, that with all the technological advancements in this day and age, people just seem to be getting more and more sick? The diabetic clinics are filling up fast. So are the hemodialysis programs. Same with cancer clinics. What is going on? Why all these advancements in medicine and technology, and yet people are getting sick starting at an early age?
At this point, there really isn't one answer. But I believe there are a combination of answers. And this is what the couple and I talked about.
A brief overview in terms of life and the medical issues that happened:
The couple had met years ago and married. One was Canadian, and one was European. I won't go into detail how they met, but the debate was whether the wife would move, or the husband would move, in order to be with each other. Eventually the European husband moved to Canada to be with the wife.
They had plans to start traveling the world (they were at a retirement age) once they settled here, and were going to spend the rest of their life together. However, things took an unfortunate turn when the husband got sick about a year ago. There was already a previous history of hypertension for years, along with diabetes. His kidneys started to fail, and he developed diabetic retinopathy, eventually leading to blindness.
Instead of traveling and seeing the world together, they are now both trying to understand the disease process and why it took a nasty turn, resulting in blindness.
This is when the conversation got interesting.
We had brought up several topics together: genetically modified foods, processed foods, lack of exercise, lack of activity, technological dependence, and isolation.
The huge one these days is processed foods. What are processed foods? They are foods that are high in sugar, sodium, or fats/trans fat and have been pre-packaged and sealed in order to preserve it longer (using chemical preservatives). For example: bacon, granola bars, instant noodles, soda drinks, fruit snacks, dry fruits, margarine, cheese, frozen dinners, to name a few. They are available in every corner store, in gas stations, at supermarkets. They are pretty much available everywhere, which is the scary part. They are, what I call "ready to eat" foods. Why are these such bad foods? Well, as I said above, they are (sky) high in sugar, salt and trans fat. Those 3 are the main culprits in having a bad diet, resulting in various medical issues from diabetes to hypertension to hyperlipidemia.
There has been warnings before on processed meats like bacon, salami, ham and hot dogs and reducing these amounts, as they could lead to (colorectal) cancer. There is still on-going research into this area though. Do I believe that processed foods can harm one's body and lead to various health problems? Absolutely. We are seeing it everyday in this population. When it comes to getting a patient history on their diet, that's when everything will click, and then we start to see why they have become so sick.
It is always important to eat foods in moderation, and to reduce the amount of processed foods in our daily diet. Reducing the amount of sugar, salt and trans fat and replacing it with healthier choices (fresh fruits, vegetables, whole wheat) will help in the long run. You know that saying "homecooked meals are the best"? Well, yeah because everything you prepare, you can control how much salt or sugar or oil needs to be added to your own food. When you are at a restaurant, you can't control the amount of oil or salt that is added to your dish. Hence why eating outside all the time is definitely not a good thing for your body.
Lack of exercise and lack of activity. Back when I was in grade school and high school, we had gym class everyday at different periods. It was one of my favourite classes growing up. I was involved in cross country running, and track & field competitions. It was pretty much my exercise everyday, and I felt good about it health wise. Nowadays, I don't know if they do have gym classes everyday, but looking at North Americans (especially America), you can tell physical activity is no where near the top of the list. Why is that? I also think it's because of technology (which I will talk more about below).
The general guideline for exercise is 30 minutes of physical activity per day. If you want to lose a lot of weight and be fit, then obviously it will have to be more. That will need motivation, concentration, and time. Judging by how busy our lives our these days, 30 minutes seems like a lot to most people. And that's the other thing. Our lives are just so busy (whether it's with school, work, spouse, kids, parents/grandparents, babysitters etc) that we tend to overlook the 30 minutes because we're just so damn tired. After an entire day of working and running around, cooking and cleaning, a lot of us would just want to sleep. Not work out for 30 minutes.
But this is the weird thing. In the Baby Boomers era, an average family would have 5-7 kids. Yet the parents still worked, and still managed to feed that many kids. They were generally healthy, and yet they were still ok! These days we struggle with 1 or 2 kids, and we get burnt out. Heck, even single people still struggle! Why is that?
Part of it has to do with society and also the ridiculous amounts we have to pay for housing these days. The average home in Toronto has already hit $1 million. How is a young professional suppose to afford that after graduation? With the housing prices going up, and our salaries remaining the same, it is no wonder so many young people these days work over time, in order to pay for the essentials. They burn out, but still try to work. And that's when their bodies start failing. Combined with poor diet, and lack of proper exercise, it is no wonder this population is going downhill. All because of increased taxes, housing, utilities. The essentials.
But wait, what about technology? Yes, technology is a great thing. I mean they found ways to identify people's DNA at crime scenes, so it has come a long way. Computers and internet have come a long way too. Telephones went from cords to cordless to cell phones to bluetooth. Advancements in medicine has come a long way. Cures for diseases are here (or for some of them). So why is it a bad thing?
When we come to rely on technology too much, and in this case I mean cell phones and laptops, heck internet, we become more and more isolated from our families and friends. Doesn't make sense? Ok let me break it down.
When we are so focused on our cell phones (look at all the young people these days, including me), we are all glued to this bright screen of radiation. I'm pretty sure most of us aren't looking at pictures we took from our cell phones, but rather browsing the internet. We are glued to social media. Facebook. Instagram. Whatsapp. Yes, we have friends (and even strangers) connected to us, so technically we aren't "lonely". But think about it. We are all glued to our phones at dinner in front of our parents. At parties. At school. At work. On the bus or subway. Heck, even in the car. There are people around us, yet we are still on our damn phones. Did we all forget how to talk to each other like normal human beings? We have become so isolated from the real world, that we have been sucked into this virtual world, and think we are still in the real world because our friends are there. But they aren't physically there. We don't like showing our phones to our parents, or even boyfriends or girlfriends because of "privacy reasons". Yet we are still so glued to it that we forgot how to interact in the real world. That to me is isolation. Any type of isolation in the long run is not good for the human mind or the body.
This is also why I chose to not have data on my cell phone. People think I'm lame for not having data, or think I'm so "old school". But I have two reasons why I don't have data. 1) I get to save more money each month compared to my friends who have data and 2) I do not want to be connected to the virtual world 24/7. In a way, it's my way of having self-control over technology. This gives me a very good excuse to talk to people, to see friends and actually talk to them in person, and also spend time with family. I give my full attention to people at dinner, because I have no reason to check my phone for any social media updates (unless I am on-call for work). Before I go out, I check Googlemaps to make sure I know where the heck I'm going. I don't rely on GPS too much because sometimes it takes me to the wrong location, so I use what I have best: my brain. I memorize the map. And I still get to my destination without difficulty.
If we let technology take over our minds and our daily routine, it is no wonder we "don't have time" for physical activity, or for proper diet. If we can take the same amount of time that we spend on social media/internet on a daily basis, we can apply that same amount of time on physical activity and proper diet daily. I can guarantee you that you will be amazed at how much time we all waste on the internet.
When we all combine all the issues above to our daily routine, we can see how there could be huge problems for us in the long run if we don't change some of our habits. One day may not seem that bad, but when it becomes a daily habit, the body suffers. You may not notice it right away, just like the couple I mentioned above. But once the problems all hit, it will hit very hard. And it will be too late to reverse all the medical problems. Once you go blind, or once you lose a limb, you will not get it back.
We can all help ourselves by contributing to our own health, and avoiding the unhealthy habits and diets.
Sunday, March 27, 2016
Thursday, March 24, 2016
Louis Vuitton Reveal
Hello fellow readers. Guess what?
I bought another item. Except this time I went the "used" route. Usually I buy my items through the retail stores, but this item is no longer sold in stores. It was a limited edition run from a few years ago (exact date I'm not too sure).
I had seen it online on a consignment shop a few weeks back, but missed out on the opportunity to buy it as it sold very fast (and I mean it sold within 30 minutes of being posted). The colour was in the pomme d'amour, vernis leather (or patent leather).
I was looking for a small coin purse so that I could fit in the Chanel WOC. The WOC is already limited in space, but putting my keys right into it could potentially ruin or scratch the leather inside. The current key holder I have (from Coach) is a bit bulky so it doesn't fit in the WOC. Plus I have tried fitting coins in the zipped compartment of the WOC, along with my bills, and it's difficult sorting through both bills and coins in a small compartment. I figured maybe it would be best to have a coin purse to go with it and keep the coins separate from the bills.
The debate to myself is whether I should use this as a key holder or as a coin purse. Or both, if that's even physically possible. I'll have to play around and see.
The debate to myself is whether I should use this as a key holder or as a coin purse. Or both, if that's even physically possible. I'll have to play around and see.
So when I saw it available again on the consignment shop, I knew I had to jump at the chance.
Here it is, a LV reveal:
It came with the original shopping bag. Yes, the top sticker had already been ripped by the original owner.
The dustbag that it came with.
Tada!
Some up close of the chain endings with the keyring and lock.
The heart shaped coin purse in violette monogram vernis leather.
The interior.
The care booklet it came with.
Another shot.
Last shot, with all the items it came with.
Detailed summary
Brand: Louis Vuitton
Name: Heart Shaped Coin Purse
Hardware: Gold
Colour: Violette
Size: Length 4" x Height 4" x Depth 1"
Size: Length 4" x Height 4" x Depth 1"
Material: Vernis Leather (or patent leather)
Style: Monogram
Ways to wear it: On the wrist, in the purse, or even hang it on your purse as a purse charm (although this one is cool, it seems a bit long to wear as a charm)
Shout-out to Jodidays Closet for the item. As I mentioned a few posts before, Jodidays Closet is an online consignment shop based in Toronto. All the items go through an authentication process before it is sold to the public. It is a one woman company (!) and she is very efficient with replies and communication. She is also on Instagram under the same name.
There are a couple of ways to order the items if you are located around the GTA. You can do a local pick up, but you would have to email her first to say you want to do a local pick up. A 40% deposit is required to do the local pick up. The other option is to buy the item directly via PayPal, and then have the item shipped to your place. However, there is a shipping fee of $25. Currently, she ships to anywhere in Canada and the USA.
I did the local pick up route, so it was a matter of matching schedules to pick the item up. I would definitely recommend her for purchasing used luxury items. She also does consign items as well, so if you have any luxury items that you don't use anymore, you can email her for quotes. Depending on the item and value, there is a certain percentage of commission based on how much the item is worth, and how popular the item is in the market.
Thanks for reading! I'll do an update in the future on whether it's a good match for the WOC or not. Otherwise I would probably just use it in a purse.
Saturday, March 19, 2016
Steelcase Tires Review
Since it is still March, and it is Fraud Awareness Month, I will continue with this review of Steelcase Tires.
Steelcase Tires & Mags is exactly what you think it is. They sell tires. Steelcase Tires
A brief overview of how I got in contact with them:
Back in early 2015, I was suppose to purchase a set of tires from a person we shall call A (how convenient because his name begins with an "A"). A had initially told me he had an old set of G35 tires that he had kept and didn't need them anymore. The summer tires that I had were going bald so I needed a set. At that point it didn't have to be brand new, but just something so I could use when it came to swapping out the tires. At this point, I had the understanding that I would get A's old G35 tires. This was in March 2015.
By the way, I am not making this up. I do have the text message conversations but for the sake of potential tampering, I will not post it up.
As the days went by, I get a message saying A is on his way to Buffalo to pick up the tires. That was April 2, 2015. It confused me because I asked him what happened to the G35 tires, and why Buffalo. He then told me they were old/bald and not good. Ok...but couldn't you have consulted me beforehand that you were now doing a plan B? Which then he told me he had to go out of his way to get it for me. Ok, well that's not my problem.
The explanation was that he would help tune a club member's GTR and in exchange, that member had a set of tires that he wasn't using (he had apparently gotten newer ones so didn't need these ones) and it would be a direct swap. I asked how much it would be. Instead, A kept insisting it wasn't required because it was a direct swap. And he got offended that I would have to pay. Almost like someone saying "you can't appreciate the finer things in life". Well, it's not about that. This is a business deal nonetheless, not a vacation. Told me to save my money.
He had taken these new tires and my rims to Steelcase Tires for them to mount. That's the first time I heard of them. So from that point on, I had the understanding that 1) the tires were picked up from Buffalo and 2) they were picked up by A and then driven to Steelcase tires for them to mount my rims to tires. Are we on the same page with this? Ok good.
April 17, 2015 is when I saw the tires/rims. At that point he still refused my cash and I offered to treat him for dinner at least for helping. In between we kept touch here and there, and I had also asked for my front lip/side skirts back because A had them. He had offered to help take them to a shop to get it repaired and repainted. After months and weeks of excuses of not meeting up (i.e my grandpa fell on his face again, my mom's in emergency, my grandma can't breathe, I've been admitted to the hospital, I'm in Chicago, I'm in Montreal, I'm in New Jersey, my whole family is in emerg because they're all constipated etc.), I figured I wasn't getting any of my items back. That was my last straw, and that was end of June 2015.
I heard nothing but silence from him for months. It wasn't until I started moving on with my life that he suddenly reappeared. In mid September, I get a mail from A's mother (really? mother? Whatever happened to dealing with problems face to face like adults, without involving each other's parents? Are we grade schoolers or something? *rolls eyes*), asking about the tires.
What really confused me? The mail had said the tires were still outstanding. They weren't paid for. And now the shop is coming after me supposedly. I was also being threatened that my car would be impounded, until the tires were paid.
So let me get this straight. The tires were NOT from Buffalo? They were from Steelcase Tires. "Purchased" from Steelcase Tires in April 2015. The mother was smart enough to send me a copy of the invoice. Very smart actually, because it had the exact date, with the customer information and the price. None of which was mine. I was basically lied to. And now I have to pay the price for someone else's lies? No thanks.
I was really confused. I got an email from A later on saying the tires were from Steelcase Tires, and because I was not dating him at the time, the tires were not a gift. Not only that, he had typed out "regardless what I paid" (still have a copy of this email). It's hilarious, because on the invoice, someone had handwritten "A's girlfriend" on the invoice. We weren't together in April 2015, so who's A's girlfriend? Obviously It wasn't me.
It gets better. I get a call from Richard Boake at the end of October 2015, who runs Steelcase Tires with his dad. I've never met the dude before. Don't even know how he looks like and don't care, although Google really helped so now I know. Never been to the store before. Don't even know where the hell the store is located. Richard is asking me about these tires. I had explained to him that I was told these tires were a direct swap from Buffalo with another GTR member, according to A. Richard says well, no the tires are from Steelcase. He had gave it to A, and it was ok to take them first without paying. But now someone needs to pay up.
To put it simply, A had lied to both Richard and I. What he told Richard is not what he told me and vice versa.
Ok fine, I can understand a shop needs to get paid for their items. But here is where it all falls apart.
1) How is it MY responsibility that a shop owner DECIDES to give a SET OF TIRES to a customer they "trust" and not accept any upfront deposit or payment right away? A normal shop would have done that. If full payment is not done within that day, then you go after their ass. You don't chase them 6 months later down the road. That delay in time is very suspicious and shady.
2) The invoice never had any of my information. My signature wasn't there. There was NOTHING on this invoice to indicate my name or information regarding this "purchase". If they ever decide to have the shop change the invoice information to my name, that itself is a crime. That is forgery. If they do that, their asses will get sent to jail. As I said before, the mother already mailed me a copy. So legally, they can't change it.
3) I have all the texts and screenshots from my conversations with A and Richard. When I compare the two, both their stories don't really match. Hence why I feel like I'm being scammed by both of them. One email said they were paid for, and one text said it wasn't. This is why I said the stories are inconsistent.
4) My experience and "story" is exactly the same. It never changed, and it never will change.
5) The fact that I was not present when A and Richard interacted at the shop, it is NOT my responsibility to pay. I have confirmation with law enforcement as well regarding this matter. I had no knowledge of their meeting or interactions, because I was told they were from Buffalo, not Steelcase. If I had told A or Richard that I am interested in buying tires, and I sent A to pick them up for me, then yes, that would be my responsibility to pay. But that interaction NEVER happened. So therefore, I am not responsible. The only two people responsible and who should be fighting it out would be A and Richard.
After the initial phone call and conversation, Richard had texted me again to follow up what A had to say. This is ridiculous, as I am now the middle person communicating between A and Richard. Besides, I had cut off all communication with A. If you want your money, talk to A, not me. How the hell do I know what interaction you guys had? I don't know anything.
The most unprofessional thing about Richard and Steelcase Tires? The fact that when I told him it wasn't my fault that he decided to let go of a set of tires to his long time customer, and trusted him that he would get paid. That's when he got pissed at me. What did he say? Here, I type word for word:
"I don't give a shit anymore. I'm taking you both to small claims court. I don't care about your problems. You have the tires on your car and you are now aware that he hasn't paid for them. I have never encountered a less empathetic person in my life. Your willing I let a 3rd party go down for tires that are on your car because your boy friend lied to you. Real class act both of you are."
Honey, you obviously have not met someone empathetic or don't know what empathy is. Are you getting that confused with sympathy? Because they are two totally different things. And just to clear things up, my job requires me to be empathetic. I deal with life and death in a blink of an eye, so don't be telling me I ain't empathetic. You obviously aren't empathetic nor have any feelings except anger, playing the "I'm not guilty" game.
Small claims court? With what case? The judge would laugh at you both for wasting his time because I had no clue what was going on behind my back; whatever agreement was agreed upon, it was between A and Richard, not me, plus I have all the evidence I need on my side. I have the original conversation with A, and a copy of that invoice without my information on it. When they look at the text exchanges between Richard and I, they would be able to tell who the real douchebag is. Case closed. Money and time wasted.
Class? Really? What do you know about class? You obviously have no class considering that last message you sent me, nor how to talk to people properly. Bitch please, once you find the definition of class and act like you have class, you can come talk to me properly.
Would I recommend people to go to Steelcase Tires & Mags to get tires? No. I haven't even been to the shop before, and I still wouldn't recommend people to go. The fact that I have to deal with an unprofessional individual, who was butt hurt because the truth hurts, tells me he can't handle reality. It is also very unprofessional how he used vulgar language to someone he's never even met before, even if a potential customer. So please steer clear of this individual and this shop as a whole. Especially when they don't take responsibility for their own actions, and start blaming other people for their wrongdoing. I don't care if this individual is the best race car driver in Canada or is involved with fundraising foundations, he crossed the line with me. I stand firm in my view that Steelcase Tires is not professional, and will rip you off. Save your money and go elsewhere.
Again, how is it my problem that he let go of a set of tires without taking a deposit or full payment upfront? REMIND ME AGAIN? Only hooligans would do that. Real professional shops wouldn't. I don't care how good of a customer they are in the past. There are still shop rules to follow.
The 2 culprits to avoid:
I would recommend Tires23 (located in Mississauga) or Simply Tire (North York), as both have great reviews and both offer packages for different cars/clubs around the city.
Steelcase Tires & Mags is exactly what you think it is. They sell tires. Steelcase Tires
A brief overview of how I got in contact with them:
Back in early 2015, I was suppose to purchase a set of tires from a person we shall call A (how convenient because his name begins with an "A"). A had initially told me he had an old set of G35 tires that he had kept and didn't need them anymore. The summer tires that I had were going bald so I needed a set. At that point it didn't have to be brand new, but just something so I could use when it came to swapping out the tires. At this point, I had the understanding that I would get A's old G35 tires. This was in March 2015.
By the way, I am not making this up. I do have the text message conversations but for the sake of potential tampering, I will not post it up.
As the days went by, I get a message saying A is on his way to Buffalo to pick up the tires. That was April 2, 2015. It confused me because I asked him what happened to the G35 tires, and why Buffalo. He then told me they were old/bald and not good. Ok...but couldn't you have consulted me beforehand that you were now doing a plan B? Which then he told me he had to go out of his way to get it for me. Ok, well that's not my problem.
The explanation was that he would help tune a club member's GTR and in exchange, that member had a set of tires that he wasn't using (he had apparently gotten newer ones so didn't need these ones) and it would be a direct swap. I asked how much it would be. Instead, A kept insisting it wasn't required because it was a direct swap. And he got offended that I would have to pay. Almost like someone saying "you can't appreciate the finer things in life". Well, it's not about that. This is a business deal nonetheless, not a vacation. Told me to save my money.
He had taken these new tires and my rims to Steelcase Tires for them to mount. That's the first time I heard of them. So from that point on, I had the understanding that 1) the tires were picked up from Buffalo and 2) they were picked up by A and then driven to Steelcase tires for them to mount my rims to tires. Are we on the same page with this? Ok good.
April 17, 2015 is when I saw the tires/rims. At that point he still refused my cash and I offered to treat him for dinner at least for helping. In between we kept touch here and there, and I had also asked for my front lip/side skirts back because A had them. He had offered to help take them to a shop to get it repaired and repainted. After months and weeks of excuses of not meeting up (i.e my grandpa fell on his face again, my mom's in emergency, my grandma can't breathe, I've been admitted to the hospital, I'm in Chicago, I'm in Montreal, I'm in New Jersey, my whole family is in emerg because they're all constipated etc.), I figured I wasn't getting any of my items back. That was my last straw, and that was end of June 2015.
I heard nothing but silence from him for months. It wasn't until I started moving on with my life that he suddenly reappeared. In mid September, I get a mail from A's mother (really? mother? Whatever happened to dealing with problems face to face like adults, without involving each other's parents? Are we grade schoolers or something? *rolls eyes*), asking about the tires.
What really confused me? The mail had said the tires were still outstanding. They weren't paid for. And now the shop is coming after me supposedly. I was also being threatened that my car would be impounded, until the tires were paid.
So let me get this straight. The tires were NOT from Buffalo? They were from Steelcase Tires. "Purchased" from Steelcase Tires in April 2015. The mother was smart enough to send me a copy of the invoice. Very smart actually, because it had the exact date, with the customer information and the price. None of which was mine. I was basically lied to. And now I have to pay the price for someone else's lies? No thanks.
I was really confused. I got an email from A later on saying the tires were from Steelcase Tires, and because I was not dating him at the time, the tires were not a gift. Not only that, he had typed out "regardless what I paid" (still have a copy of this email). It's hilarious, because on the invoice, someone had handwritten "A's girlfriend" on the invoice. We weren't together in April 2015, so who's A's girlfriend? Obviously It wasn't me.
It gets better. I get a call from Richard Boake at the end of October 2015, who runs Steelcase Tires with his dad. I've never met the dude before. Don't even know how he looks like and don't care, although Google really helped so now I know. Never been to the store before. Don't even know where the hell the store is located. Richard is asking me about these tires. I had explained to him that I was told these tires were a direct swap from Buffalo with another GTR member, according to A. Richard says well, no the tires are from Steelcase. He had gave it to A, and it was ok to take them first without paying. But now someone needs to pay up.
To put it simply, A had lied to both Richard and I. What he told Richard is not what he told me and vice versa.
Ok fine, I can understand a shop needs to get paid for their items. But here is where it all falls apart.
1) How is it MY responsibility that a shop owner DECIDES to give a SET OF TIRES to a customer they "trust" and not accept any upfront deposit or payment right away? A normal shop would have done that. If full payment is not done within that day, then you go after their ass. You don't chase them 6 months later down the road. That delay in time is very suspicious and shady.
2) The invoice never had any of my information. My signature wasn't there. There was NOTHING on this invoice to indicate my name or information regarding this "purchase". If they ever decide to have the shop change the invoice information to my name, that itself is a crime. That is forgery. If they do that, their asses will get sent to jail. As I said before, the mother already mailed me a copy. So legally, they can't change it.
3) I have all the texts and screenshots from my conversations with A and Richard. When I compare the two, both their stories don't really match. Hence why I feel like I'm being scammed by both of them. One email said they were paid for, and one text said it wasn't. This is why I said the stories are inconsistent.
4) My experience and "story" is exactly the same. It never changed, and it never will change.
5) The fact that I was not present when A and Richard interacted at the shop, it is NOT my responsibility to pay. I have confirmation with law enforcement as well regarding this matter. I had no knowledge of their meeting or interactions, because I was told they were from Buffalo, not Steelcase. If I had told A or Richard that I am interested in buying tires, and I sent A to pick them up for me, then yes, that would be my responsibility to pay. But that interaction NEVER happened. So therefore, I am not responsible. The only two people responsible and who should be fighting it out would be A and Richard.
After the initial phone call and conversation, Richard had texted me again to follow up what A had to say. This is ridiculous, as I am now the middle person communicating between A and Richard. Besides, I had cut off all communication with A. If you want your money, talk to A, not me. How the hell do I know what interaction you guys had? I don't know anything.
The most unprofessional thing about Richard and Steelcase Tires? The fact that when I told him it wasn't my fault that he decided to let go of a set of tires to his long time customer, and trusted him that he would get paid. That's when he got pissed at me. What did he say? Here, I type word for word:
"I don't give a shit anymore. I'm taking you both to small claims court. I don't care about your problems. You have the tires on your car and you are now aware that he hasn't paid for them. I have never encountered a less empathetic person in my life. Your willing I let a 3rd party go down for tires that are on your car because your boy friend lied to you. Real class act both of you are."
Honey, you obviously have not met someone empathetic or don't know what empathy is. Are you getting that confused with sympathy? Because they are two totally different things. And just to clear things up, my job requires me to be empathetic. I deal with life and death in a blink of an eye, so don't be telling me I ain't empathetic. You obviously aren't empathetic nor have any feelings except anger, playing the "I'm not guilty" game.
Small claims court? With what case? The judge would laugh at you both for wasting his time because I had no clue what was going on behind my back; whatever agreement was agreed upon, it was between A and Richard, not me, plus I have all the evidence I need on my side. I have the original conversation with A, and a copy of that invoice without my information on it. When they look at the text exchanges between Richard and I, they would be able to tell who the real douchebag is. Case closed. Money and time wasted.
Class? Really? What do you know about class? You obviously have no class considering that last message you sent me, nor how to talk to people properly. Bitch please, once you find the definition of class and act like you have class, you can come talk to me properly.
Would I recommend people to go to Steelcase Tires & Mags to get tires? No. I haven't even been to the shop before, and I still wouldn't recommend people to go. The fact that I have to deal with an unprofessional individual, who was butt hurt because the truth hurts, tells me he can't handle reality. It is also very unprofessional how he used vulgar language to someone he's never even met before, even if a potential customer. So please steer clear of this individual and this shop as a whole. Especially when they don't take responsibility for their own actions, and start blaming other people for their wrongdoing. I don't care if this individual is the best race car driver in Canada or is involved with fundraising foundations, he crossed the line with me. I stand firm in my view that Steelcase Tires is not professional, and will rip you off. Save your money and go elsewhere.
Again, how is it my problem that he let go of a set of tires without taking a deposit or full payment upfront? REMIND ME AGAIN? Only hooligans would do that. Real professional shops wouldn't. I don't care how good of a customer they are in the past. There are still shop rules to follow.
The 2 culprits to avoid:
Richard
"A"
I would recommend Tires23 (located in Mississauga) or Simply Tire (North York), as both have great reviews and both offer packages for different cars/clubs around the city.
Tuesday, March 15, 2016
Motorama + Cars
This past weekend was the Motorama car show located at the International Centre.
I had a feeling this was similar to the Performance World show back about 10 years ago, as it was also held at the International Centre, and the welcome entrance display was also exactly the same. It always occurred during March (I remembered clearly because people would be complaining their cars would still have snow on it. Then again, there are those who have show cars and only show cars).
In 2007, a family member and I got into the Performance World show for free, as we knew someone who had all the access to all car shows at that time. I had never been to any of those shows so it was an exciting time.
After going to the show, I found it to be heavy in classic cars, restored cars, and a good section of imports. I didn't recall much vendors there. I think most of the vendors were located at the front entrance of the show. But the show itself was heavy in various modded cars. It was basically like Import Fest, except with a heavy emphasis on muscle cars.
There were a lot of modded cars. Cars that were illegal to drive on Canadian roads, but they were so done up, it looked really cool.
Fast forward 9 years later. The show has changed its name. Location remains the same. The date of the show remains in March. Admission for adults: $20.
The vendors were located in the first two sections of the car show. Let's just say there were 4 sections in total. So 2 of them were pretty much vendors, mixed in with a few cars on display. Almost all the cars in the entrance (we shall call that section 1) were restored classics. Section 2 was heavy on Nascar items and cars. Section 3 was the biggest area, with most of the cars. There were a few vendors here and there. Most of the cars were classics or muscle cars. There was the Scooby-Doo van, Back to the Future's Delorean, and Kitt from Knight Rider among others. Then section 4 was the smallest, and this is where the "imports" were held. I say that because not every car there was an import. There were some American cars as well.
Overall, Motorama was disappointing. They didn't have as many cars (in my opinion) as in the past. The restoration of the classic cars were pretty amazing. It's amazing to see classics from back in the day get glamoured up. But I was really disappointed in the modern cars. Some were just plain stock. Then there were those who were so "hella flush". Or what some like to call "stance nation bro". There is nothing cool about destroying a car's suspension and tires/rims when the tires stick out like it's about to fly away. It looks like a human trying to hold their pee when they walk. That's pretty much the picture I see when I see a hella flush car.
There were a couple of Genesis Coupes this year that were nicely done (not because I'm a fangirl, but they actually looked really good), one which won best in show. Being modded doesn't mean you have to make it all hella flush looking. But to me, it has to be tastefully modded. It has to look good. Everyone obviously has their own perception on what looks good and what doesn't. Having kickass performance mods and lightly modded exterior is the way to go. It's better to have little cosmetic upgrades than having too much going at once. When the car starts to look too busy on all the corners and curves, that's when you know you've done way too much to it, and in a bad way.
The whole stance look. Some people like it, some don't. I'm one of those who don't like it because I don't see a point. You can't turn properly. You can't drive properly. You have to avoid any rough roads. You can't drive it in winter. You can't drive it in bad weather, period. Sounds like any regular modded car. But the turning and driving part is the key. If you can't drive it, then what's the point? You spend all that money on tires and expensive rims, and you can't even turn it properly. What's worse is the tires would get worn a lot faster. To me, that's a waste of a good set of rims and tires. There is nothing cool about that.
Anyways, I didn't take many pictures during this show because I didn't have the energy or mood to do it. To me, it was a disappointment.
In other great news, it is March...which means...car cruising season is coming!! Not like I'll be going to every cruise due to a busy schedule. But stay tuned for some pictures, because those would be worth it.
I had a feeling this was similar to the Performance World show back about 10 years ago, as it was also held at the International Centre, and the welcome entrance display was also exactly the same. It always occurred during March (I remembered clearly because people would be complaining their cars would still have snow on it. Then again, there are those who have show cars and only show cars).
In 2007, a family member and I got into the Performance World show for free, as we knew someone who had all the access to all car shows at that time. I had never been to any of those shows so it was an exciting time.
After going to the show, I found it to be heavy in classic cars, restored cars, and a good section of imports. I didn't recall much vendors there. I think most of the vendors were located at the front entrance of the show. But the show itself was heavy in various modded cars. It was basically like Import Fest, except with a heavy emphasis on muscle cars.
There were a lot of modded cars. Cars that were illegal to drive on Canadian roads, but they were so done up, it looked really cool.
Fast forward 9 years later. The show has changed its name. Location remains the same. The date of the show remains in March. Admission for adults: $20.
The vendors were located in the first two sections of the car show. Let's just say there were 4 sections in total. So 2 of them were pretty much vendors, mixed in with a few cars on display. Almost all the cars in the entrance (we shall call that section 1) were restored classics. Section 2 was heavy on Nascar items and cars. Section 3 was the biggest area, with most of the cars. There were a few vendors here and there. Most of the cars were classics or muscle cars. There was the Scooby-Doo van, Back to the Future's Delorean, and Kitt from Knight Rider among others. Then section 4 was the smallest, and this is where the "imports" were held. I say that because not every car there was an import. There were some American cars as well.
Overall, Motorama was disappointing. They didn't have as many cars (in my opinion) as in the past. The restoration of the classic cars were pretty amazing. It's amazing to see classics from back in the day get glamoured up. But I was really disappointed in the modern cars. Some were just plain stock. Then there were those who were so "hella flush". Or what some like to call "stance nation bro". There is nothing cool about destroying a car's suspension and tires/rims when the tires stick out like it's about to fly away. It looks like a human trying to hold their pee when they walk. That's pretty much the picture I see when I see a hella flush car.
There were a couple of Genesis Coupes this year that were nicely done (not because I'm a fangirl, but they actually looked really good), one which won best in show. Being modded doesn't mean you have to make it all hella flush looking. But to me, it has to be tastefully modded. It has to look good. Everyone obviously has their own perception on what looks good and what doesn't. Having kickass performance mods and lightly modded exterior is the way to go. It's better to have little cosmetic upgrades than having too much going at once. When the car starts to look too busy on all the corners and curves, that's when you know you've done way too much to it, and in a bad way.
The whole stance look. Some people like it, some don't. I'm one of those who don't like it because I don't see a point. You can't turn properly. You can't drive properly. You have to avoid any rough roads. You can't drive it in winter. You can't drive it in bad weather, period. Sounds like any regular modded car. But the turning and driving part is the key. If you can't drive it, then what's the point? You spend all that money on tires and expensive rims, and you can't even turn it properly. What's worse is the tires would get worn a lot faster. To me, that's a waste of a good set of rims and tires. There is nothing cool about that.
Anyways, I didn't take many pictures during this show because I didn't have the energy or mood to do it. To me, it was a disappointment.
In other great news, it is March...which means...car cruising season is coming!! Not like I'll be going to every cruise due to a busy schedule. But stay tuned for some pictures, because those would be worth it.
Monday, March 07, 2016
Dear: Prelude Driver
Yes, I totally saw you. You in the red 5th generation Prelude.
I was driving and minding my own business, trying to focus on driving because it was a cold day and it had snowed a bit. For me, safety first.
I noticed this red coupe in my peripheral vision. Just there. Not going any faster than me or any slower than me. It was just side by side with me. It went on for what seemed like hours, when it was merely a few seconds. However, upon speeding up ahead of me, I saw the passenger sort of almost stick his head against the window to see who was driving (yes, I know my tints are a bit dark, but that's the point).
After that moment, what I saw was some dangerous driving maneuvers, trying to get my attention. The Prelude changed lanes without signaling (come on, why are cars equipped with turn signals?! they aren't decorations!!), and veered quite sharply directly in front of me, and then went back to his left lane. Then he starts braking hard, as to try and slow down to my speed.
There really are two things that crossed my mind at that time. 1) Guys do that to get a girl's attention or 2) they want to race. Most of the time they just want my attention, but this isn't Tinder. This is real life driving. You are operating a machine that could potentially injure or kill people if you don't pay attention. That is why I probably look zoned out every time I drive. Because that's what I'm doing: concentrating.
There are times that it may become necessary to warn a driver about something, whether a flat tire or maybe the gas cap isn't closed properly. Legit things to warn a driver about, so you go about and try to honk or get their attention to tell them. Still dangerous yes, but the intent is to warn them that something is wrong with their car. Either that, or the driver finds out the hard way.
In this case with the Prelude, there was nothing wrong with my car. It was two guys trying to get my attention, while doing dangerous maneuvers on the road. Stupidity is what I call it. Even if they are trying to say "nice car", you don't start driving like a maniac to try and get attention. Is it really that important to you?
As much as I wanted to cut in and out of traffic to avoid this driver, I couldn't because there was traffic everywhere. The highway was coming up anyways, so I just took my time and drove the limit. Meanwhile, the dudes in the red Prelude are in front of me. I ended up taking the highway whereas they continued forward.
In conclusion, yes guys, I did see you. But don't drive like maniacs next time to get a girl's attention.
Speaking about cars, there has been a picture circulating on Facebook about bringing Ertefa back. For those who don't know, Ertefa is GTA's largest car meet. Ertefa got shut down last year because idiots would show up and start doing donuts and burn-outs in a crowded environment.
In my opinion, if they bring it back, it will just be shut down again. There will always be a few bad apples in a basket of good apples. No matter how hard all the organizers try to make it a safe environment for everyone, there is always that one person who will ruin it for everyone. So far it seems that a lot of people do want it back, and Ertefa is finding a way to accommodate. Do I have high hopes it will continue to run? Nope.
My first/second and only experience going to Ertefa was back in the summer of 2013. I think I had gone to two different meets, one with my coupe and one without. There were exotics there, and a lot of imports. If I could sum it up, it was like a big parking lot with lots of modified cars. And the smell of weed was disgusting. The first time I was there, I smelled weed and got a massive headache because of it. I didn't enjoy my time there because the smell just ruined it. For those who say just "wear a mask", come on now. Who the hell brings a box of masks with them wherever they go? I never went to those meets before so I didn't expect the weed part.
The second time I drove the coupe, and thankfully I didn't smell weed. But that's the thing. Once you go to an Ertefa meet, you just don't go again after the first or second time. To me, it was just the same old repetitive thing. You pretty much see the exact same thing each week. Everyone is a complete stranger to me. There is always going to be some sort of drama with some person, and the presence of police just makes everyone nervous. I know in my previous posts I had mention about having police presence in order to have some sort of crowd control, but also having that interaction with car enthusiasts and cops to maintain a good relationship with them. Sounds easy on paper, but when cops see a douchebag doing donuts, burning out or randomly racing people on the streets, do you think they will just sit back and sing KUMBAIYAAAAA?
Obviously not. They will take action, and in return, the rest of the attendees suffer because of that one person misbehaving. So would I be in favour of Ertefa? Nope.
Having huge meets doesn't make it fun. Small tight-knit groups and cruises make it a lot more fun. Members are aware of each other already, meet ups are not as frequent but when they do happen, it's a more intimate group of getting to know all the drivers. Cruises are the most fun. It's way better than just parking the car in a parking lot and walking around trying not to get run over by a ricer. I could do that at Pacific Mall any time. Don't need Ertefa for that.
Besides, there is more to life than getting in trouble at Ertefa. To each their own.
I was driving and minding my own business, trying to focus on driving because it was a cold day and it had snowed a bit. For me, safety first.
I noticed this red coupe in my peripheral vision. Just there. Not going any faster than me or any slower than me. It was just side by side with me. It went on for what seemed like hours, when it was merely a few seconds. However, upon speeding up ahead of me, I saw the passenger sort of almost stick his head against the window to see who was driving (yes, I know my tints are a bit dark, but that's the point).
After that moment, what I saw was some dangerous driving maneuvers, trying to get my attention. The Prelude changed lanes without signaling (come on, why are cars equipped with turn signals?! they aren't decorations!!), and veered quite sharply directly in front of me, and then went back to his left lane. Then he starts braking hard, as to try and slow down to my speed.
There really are two things that crossed my mind at that time. 1) Guys do that to get a girl's attention or 2) they want to race. Most of the time they just want my attention, but this isn't Tinder. This is real life driving. You are operating a machine that could potentially injure or kill people if you don't pay attention. That is why I probably look zoned out every time I drive. Because that's what I'm doing: concentrating.
There are times that it may become necessary to warn a driver about something, whether a flat tire or maybe the gas cap isn't closed properly. Legit things to warn a driver about, so you go about and try to honk or get their attention to tell them. Still dangerous yes, but the intent is to warn them that something is wrong with their car. Either that, or the driver finds out the hard way.
In this case with the Prelude, there was nothing wrong with my car. It was two guys trying to get my attention, while doing dangerous maneuvers on the road. Stupidity is what I call it. Even if they are trying to say "nice car", you don't start driving like a maniac to try and get attention. Is it really that important to you?
As much as I wanted to cut in and out of traffic to avoid this driver, I couldn't because there was traffic everywhere. The highway was coming up anyways, so I just took my time and drove the limit. Meanwhile, the dudes in the red Prelude are in front of me. I ended up taking the highway whereas they continued forward.
In conclusion, yes guys, I did see you. But don't drive like maniacs next time to get a girl's attention.
Speaking about cars, there has been a picture circulating on Facebook about bringing Ertefa back. For those who don't know, Ertefa is GTA's largest car meet. Ertefa got shut down last year because idiots would show up and start doing donuts and burn-outs in a crowded environment.
In my opinion, if they bring it back, it will just be shut down again. There will always be a few bad apples in a basket of good apples. No matter how hard all the organizers try to make it a safe environment for everyone, there is always that one person who will ruin it for everyone. So far it seems that a lot of people do want it back, and Ertefa is finding a way to accommodate. Do I have high hopes it will continue to run? Nope.
My first/second and only experience going to Ertefa was back in the summer of 2013. I think I had gone to two different meets, one with my coupe and one without. There were exotics there, and a lot of imports. If I could sum it up, it was like a big parking lot with lots of modified cars. And the smell of weed was disgusting. The first time I was there, I smelled weed and got a massive headache because of it. I didn't enjoy my time there because the smell just ruined it. For those who say just "wear a mask", come on now. Who the hell brings a box of masks with them wherever they go? I never went to those meets before so I didn't expect the weed part.
The second time I drove the coupe, and thankfully I didn't smell weed. But that's the thing. Once you go to an Ertefa meet, you just don't go again after the first or second time. To me, it was just the same old repetitive thing. You pretty much see the exact same thing each week. Everyone is a complete stranger to me. There is always going to be some sort of drama with some person, and the presence of police just makes everyone nervous. I know in my previous posts I had mention about having police presence in order to have some sort of crowd control, but also having that interaction with car enthusiasts and cops to maintain a good relationship with them. Sounds easy on paper, but when cops see a douchebag doing donuts, burning out or randomly racing people on the streets, do you think they will just sit back and sing KUMBAIYAAAAA?
Obviously not. They will take action, and in return, the rest of the attendees suffer because of that one person misbehaving. So would I be in favour of Ertefa? Nope.
Having huge meets doesn't make it fun. Small tight-knit groups and cruises make it a lot more fun. Members are aware of each other already, meet ups are not as frequent but when they do happen, it's a more intimate group of getting to know all the drivers. Cruises are the most fun. It's way better than just parking the car in a parking lot and walking around trying not to get run over by a ricer. I could do that at Pacific Mall any time. Don't need Ertefa for that.
Besides, there is more to life than getting in trouble at Ertefa. To each their own.
Wednesday, March 02, 2016
It's March?!
I am amazed how time flies. It really does.
So I never got the chance to wish you all a happy:
Valentine's Day.
Chinese New Year. (GONG HAY FAT CHOY!!! GONG SEE FA CHAIIIIII!!!)
Family Day.
I was going to write something on those days but I got lazy. So here I wish you all, all those combined!
Now I haven't had much Valentine's day celebration in the past. I'm not the type of girl that will expect the usual girly stuff on that day. You've probably heard before from your spouse telling you, it's ok honey you don't need to get me anything for Valentine's day. The first Valentine's day you'd want to make a good impression. Anything after that will have to be a mutual agreement. If you both agree to not celebrate it, then don't celebrate it. But don't say it, and then suddenly celebrate it because they would probably get mad that they didn't get you anything. I'm sure with years to come, the vibe will die down a bit. As I said, it's all about the mutual agreement.
Next up is the Chinese New Year, or the Lunar Year. This year, it's the year of the Monkey. OO OO AHH AHH!! *scratches arm pits*
As a kid, getting red pockets was the highlight of CNY, especially when there's a huge extended family because all the uncles and aunties will be handing out red pockets EVERYWHERE! LIKE OMG! For those who don't know, married couples will be the one giving red pockets (i.e money) to unmarried kids. Nowadays, I'm just lucky for what I have. My parents still give me red pocket as per tradition, but it just feels so weird to accept it sometimes because they've done so much for me. I remember trying to give them all my pocket change when I was a child (those coins in those piggy banks...good times). So when CNY came, they would give me red pocket, and I would have red pockets for them too. They looked pretty surprised, and then reassured me I didn't have to give them anything because I was still a kid. Only mommy and daddy would do that. I was pretty hurt they didn't take my coins, but they said when I get older and marry, then if I wanted to I could. I was probably 6 or 7 when that happened, and I still remember to this day.
Seeing all the family on CNY was exciting, but sad at the same time because M isn't physically here anymore. I remember trying to be happy, but still broke down in a corner. It took some time, reassurance and prayer to make it a bit better. I still have that empty spot in my heart, which may never get filled.
Family Day was uneventful as I was working 16 hours. My family hates it when I do a double shift. It's true though, it does damage the body if it occurs too often. But I had to do it to get an extra day off so I could spend more time with family. Isn't it ironic. Working a double on Family Day so I could get an extra day off to spend time with family. It worked out in the end and I'm happy I got to spend time with family. I felt like a zombie after though because it was one of those odd shifts. It would start at 3pm Monday then finish Tuesday at 7am. Doing it once in a while is fine, but doing it constantly will just screw up the biological clock. 7 am to 11 pm is considered the ideal double shift, followed by 3pm to 7am. But the hardest is 11pm Monday to Tuesday 3pm. That's a night to day double, and I would not recommend that. I have never tried that shift, but I have seen people do that, and I would just not do it.
Recently, Holt Renfrew changed their Privileges program so that everyone this year gets a membership card to carry around (versus having to download a program into the cell phone first, then downloading the app to install a virtual card). I was quite excited when the card came in the mail because I wanted to pick up my birthday gift, and I couldn't do it without the card. So finally, when it came in, I went straight for the shop to pick up this gift. The gift this year is a leather luggage tag (and a mighty big one), wrapped in a nice gift box. I took mama with me, and had her open the gift. She really liked it so I told her she could have it. We ended up looking around HR and she was astounded at how crazy high the prices were for clothes. A normal looking T-shirt would cost $300+. We didn't buy anything, but when we're together we window shop 99% of the time.
For some reason, it took my brain a while to finally understand how this program works. HR will tally up how much you've spent the previous year in order to determine which tier you belong to. I had the misunderstanding that you could just accumulate all the spendings you had over the years and that's how it would add up as the years went by, but nope. Totally not. It's only based on the previous year spending. So say you buy a Chanel classic flap in medium in 2015. That alone is already $6,000+ so you automatically are in the third tier (Select +) for that year. Then say you bought another flap. That would bring you to the fourth tier (Front Row) for that year. So when 2016 comes, they calculate that you've spent 12k in 2015, so you will be in the Front Row tier. HR will then list out all the benefits you can use for the year of 2016 based on what you bought in 2015. However, everything gets "reset" at the end of January each year. So if you don't buy anything for 2016, that's ok too. In 2017 when the new card arrives, you will drop to the first tier (Welcome).
The tiers work as so:
1) Welcome ($0-999)
2) Select ($1,000-4,999)
3) Select+ ($5,000-9,999)
4) Front Row ($10,000-24,999)
5) Front Row+ ($25,000+)
From the previous year, I can see they definitely reduced the amounts. I believe Front Row+ used to be greater than $50,000 annual spending, but they probably realized that not many people would spend 50k at Holt Renfrew in a year. Same with Front Row. It used to be something like 25k to 49,999. Select+ used to be 15k to 25k. So they did play around with the numbers this time around, which makes it a little bit easier to attain, but not really.
I have not tried out any of the benefits (aside from picking up my birthday gift) so when I do, I'll do a review on whether it's worth it or not.
Next up? Periods. Women periods. Menstrual periods.
Every girl/woman goes through different experiences, but it always bugs me that guys just assume it's time for a girl to act all bitchy. I once knew a guy who said there is no excuse for girls to act bitchy when it's the time of the month. Well, you don't bleed out of your private area on a monthly basis, so what gives you the right to say such a thing?
Some girls experience mood swings before a period (hence the term PMS). Some have bad skin break outs before a period. Everyone is different. Then there are some girls who get violently ill when they're on their period. I know someone who would vomit because of the cramps and pain. For me, mine ain't all that peaceful either. The worst is when it interrupts your daily routine, like your job. I had gone to work feeling ok, but within 3 hours, I was hyperventilating, sweating, feeling dizzy and cramping like it was the end of the world. I was pulled out of work because of menstrual cramps. After some prescribed narcotics, I felt better. There was one time I had vomited because of the pain, and probably due to the side effect of the narcotic. But it annoys me when guys say it's not all that bad, when they have absolutely no idea what they're talking about. I don't know what kind of girls they dated, but having painful cramps that can be debilitating is very real. And this goes on every month. You can imagine how annoying it can get!
So a note to the guys: when your girl is acting bitchy, don't call her a bitch. Just listen to her and get her what she needs, whether it's hot chocolate, a rub on the tummy, or even a snuggle. It would mean the world to her.
That is all for tonight. Time for my brain to rest. Cheers!
So I never got the chance to wish you all a happy:
Valentine's Day.
Chinese New Year. (GONG HAY FAT CHOY!!! GONG SEE FA CHAIIIIII!!!)
Family Day.
I was going to write something on those days but I got lazy. So here I wish you all, all those combined!
Now I haven't had much Valentine's day celebration in the past. I'm not the type of girl that will expect the usual girly stuff on that day. You've probably heard before from your spouse telling you, it's ok honey you don't need to get me anything for Valentine's day. The first Valentine's day you'd want to make a good impression. Anything after that will have to be a mutual agreement. If you both agree to not celebrate it, then don't celebrate it. But don't say it, and then suddenly celebrate it because they would probably get mad that they didn't get you anything. I'm sure with years to come, the vibe will die down a bit. As I said, it's all about the mutual agreement.
Next up is the Chinese New Year, or the Lunar Year. This year, it's the year of the Monkey. OO OO AHH AHH!! *scratches arm pits*
As a kid, getting red pockets was the highlight of CNY, especially when there's a huge extended family because all the uncles and aunties will be handing out red pockets EVERYWHERE! LIKE OMG! For those who don't know, married couples will be the one giving red pockets (i.e money) to unmarried kids. Nowadays, I'm just lucky for what I have. My parents still give me red pocket as per tradition, but it just feels so weird to accept it sometimes because they've done so much for me. I remember trying to give them all my pocket change when I was a child (those coins in those piggy banks...good times). So when CNY came, they would give me red pocket, and I would have red pockets for them too. They looked pretty surprised, and then reassured me I didn't have to give them anything because I was still a kid. Only mommy and daddy would do that. I was pretty hurt they didn't take my coins, but they said when I get older and marry, then if I wanted to I could. I was probably 6 or 7 when that happened, and I still remember to this day.
Seeing all the family on CNY was exciting, but sad at the same time because M isn't physically here anymore. I remember trying to be happy, but still broke down in a corner. It took some time, reassurance and prayer to make it a bit better. I still have that empty spot in my heart, which may never get filled.
Family Day was uneventful as I was working 16 hours. My family hates it when I do a double shift. It's true though, it does damage the body if it occurs too often. But I had to do it to get an extra day off so I could spend more time with family. Isn't it ironic. Working a double on Family Day so I could get an extra day off to spend time with family. It worked out in the end and I'm happy I got to spend time with family. I felt like a zombie after though because it was one of those odd shifts. It would start at 3pm Monday then finish Tuesday at 7am. Doing it once in a while is fine, but doing it constantly will just screw up the biological clock. 7 am to 11 pm is considered the ideal double shift, followed by 3pm to 7am. But the hardest is 11pm Monday to Tuesday 3pm. That's a night to day double, and I would not recommend that. I have never tried that shift, but I have seen people do that, and I would just not do it.
Recently, Holt Renfrew changed their Privileges program so that everyone this year gets a membership card to carry around (versus having to download a program into the cell phone first, then downloading the app to install a virtual card). I was quite excited when the card came in the mail because I wanted to pick up my birthday gift, and I couldn't do it without the card. So finally, when it came in, I went straight for the shop to pick up this gift. The gift this year is a leather luggage tag (and a mighty big one), wrapped in a nice gift box. I took mama with me, and had her open the gift. She really liked it so I told her she could have it. We ended up looking around HR and she was astounded at how crazy high the prices were for clothes. A normal looking T-shirt would cost $300+. We didn't buy anything, but when we're together we window shop 99% of the time.
This is the new card they have for this year. This is the front. The back I won't show (for obvious reasons), but it will have your name and your card number.
For some reason, it took my brain a while to finally understand how this program works. HR will tally up how much you've spent the previous year in order to determine which tier you belong to. I had the misunderstanding that you could just accumulate all the spendings you had over the years and that's how it would add up as the years went by, but nope. Totally not. It's only based on the previous year spending. So say you buy a Chanel classic flap in medium in 2015. That alone is already $6,000+ so you automatically are in the third tier (Select +) for that year. Then say you bought another flap. That would bring you to the fourth tier (Front Row) for that year. So when 2016 comes, they calculate that you've spent 12k in 2015, so you will be in the Front Row tier. HR will then list out all the benefits you can use for the year of 2016 based on what you bought in 2015. However, everything gets "reset" at the end of January each year. So if you don't buy anything for 2016, that's ok too. In 2017 when the new card arrives, you will drop to the first tier (Welcome).
The tiers work as so:
1) Welcome ($0-999)
2) Select ($1,000-4,999)
3) Select+ ($5,000-9,999)
4) Front Row ($10,000-24,999)
5) Front Row+ ($25,000+)
From the previous year, I can see they definitely reduced the amounts. I believe Front Row+ used to be greater than $50,000 annual spending, but they probably realized that not many people would spend 50k at Holt Renfrew in a year. Same with Front Row. It used to be something like 25k to 49,999. Select+ used to be 15k to 25k. So they did play around with the numbers this time around, which makes it a little bit easier to attain, but not really.
I have not tried out any of the benefits (aside from picking up my birthday gift) so when I do, I'll do a review on whether it's worth it or not.
Next up? Periods. Women periods. Menstrual periods.
Every girl/woman goes through different experiences, but it always bugs me that guys just assume it's time for a girl to act all bitchy. I once knew a guy who said there is no excuse for girls to act bitchy when it's the time of the month. Well, you don't bleed out of your private area on a monthly basis, so what gives you the right to say such a thing?
Some girls experience mood swings before a period (hence the term PMS). Some have bad skin break outs before a period. Everyone is different. Then there are some girls who get violently ill when they're on their period. I know someone who would vomit because of the cramps and pain. For me, mine ain't all that peaceful either. The worst is when it interrupts your daily routine, like your job. I had gone to work feeling ok, but within 3 hours, I was hyperventilating, sweating, feeling dizzy and cramping like it was the end of the world. I was pulled out of work because of menstrual cramps. After some prescribed narcotics, I felt better. There was one time I had vomited because of the pain, and probably due to the side effect of the narcotic. But it annoys me when guys say it's not all that bad, when they have absolutely no idea what they're talking about. I don't know what kind of girls they dated, but having painful cramps that can be debilitating is very real. And this goes on every month. You can imagine how annoying it can get!
So a note to the guys: when your girl is acting bitchy, don't call her a bitch. Just listen to her and get her what she needs, whether it's hot chocolate, a rub on the tummy, or even a snuggle. It would mean the world to her.
That is all for tonight. Time for my brain to rest. Cheers!
Fraud Awareness Month
Happy fraud awareness month!
I heard on the radio that March is Fraud Awareness month. Whether that is true or not, I find it ironic that it was less than a week ago, a fraudster was caught up in a kidnapping.
Last Thursday, a man was found beaten and bound at the side of a road. His 2010 Bentley Continental GT was stolen, and then recovered a short time later. Police are currently looking for up to 4 suspects in this kidnapping case.
A brief recap: OCEANSKY goes down and another one: OCEANSKY
Sounds like a case of robbery gone wrong or something, but the plate on the Bentley (later as I discovered) was OCEANSKY. I've seen that plate somewhere before. Upon further digging, the owner is very well known in the car community. Friends of friends know him. His name? Reza Mokhtarian. If you've heard of Capital Trust Markets (based off in New Zealand) and Forex Trading, he was the one who ran it. He is also the founder of Mentor Tips
Years ago, he asked those to put their investments into this, because they would get a 15% return rate every month. His tactic is as so: become a millionaire in less than a year. That's how he (supposedly) became one so quick. I don't believe in that crap anyways. Anyone who holds conferences to talk about how to become a millionaire very quick is all a scam. You still have to pay money to find out how, and the tips are pretty useless (haven't tried, but voluntarily went to one of those conferences and wasn't a fan of how it was portrayed). When you think about it, the human mind is very selfish, especially when it comes to money, and a lot of money. Those who make a lot of money will not tell everyone how to do it, because then everyone will be millionaires. Then others will outdo you. So why risk that? This is why I don't believe in those things. They try to make it all sound so catchy and that you'll be a millionaire in no time. In reality, it won't happen overnight, and it won't happen in less than a year.
To prove he was rich, he got a mansion, bought exotic cars, and appeared to be well off. In reality, the home was not under his name, and the cars ended up to be rentals. People had invested, trusting they would get a good return, but when they tried to access their money, the system would show they had nothing. People would go after him, and well, just like all liars and fraudsters out there, they have their ways of making up stories to delay getting their money back. What he does is basically like a Ponzi scheme.
If you Google "reza ferrari chat", a huge thread comes up in who he is, and what he does. His Aventador is a rental, and so is his Bentley.
The kidnapping story just seemed so weird. If the people involved were former investors or just plain enemies wanting their money back, they might as well just ask him to force sign documents, or get money withdrawn, kidnap him then kill him. The fact that he was found beaten and not dead, suggests that it was a scare tactic, or it was a set up. But really, scare tactic? He's still not going to pay up. Maybe they all hope that after this, he would take it more seriously and return people's money. Who knows.
It reminds me of Lou Pearlman, the former manager of the Backstreet Boys, and N'Sync. Before he became manager of BSB, he had convinced investors to invest in his Trans Continental Airlines company, which only existed on paper. He defrauded investors over $300 million. When the Backstreet Boys became successful and was selling out concerts, he used their fame to try and pay back the investors. He convinced the Boys that each were only allowed a certain salary (it was around $300,000 for each), while the rest would go to his pocket to pay back his investors. As a screaming fan growing up, I'd always thought those 5 guys were super rich. In reality, Pearlman owed them millions as well.
Pearlman was finally caught in 2007 and was found guilty of running the longest Ponzi scheme in history and sentenced to 25 years in jail.
Another one in the car community is (we shall call him) Andre. Supposedly drives a GTR (last I heard, it was found in a lake) and knows a lot about it. Offers to help with car parts and doesn't want money. Yeah, because in the end when your parts get installed, your car falls apart and you are left to pay a huge bill to repair your car. Which costs more than just the "free" parts itself. Some GTR owners are still left without their parts, or money from this guy. They call him, email him, go to his home to get things back and are left empty handed, because the entire family acts like they're in a Ponzi scheme.
He's nice to people initially, and that's how people fall for his tactic. He works his way into people's lives by buying them things, whether it's jewelry, car parts, you name it. Once he establishes trust, then he will screw you over by not returning items or money. And when you start to go after him, he will run and get his mom to finish you off. The family will see you as a bad influence to him and will blame you for everything, when in reality, he's the one causing you to go crazy. You just want your stuff back. How hard is that?
Apparently it's difficult. A lot of people are still waiting for their items and money (which he doesn't have because they have gone towards lavish dinners with different girls). He is also another bad news in the car community. Shops are aware of him, GTR owners are aware of him, and I'm pretty sure other randoms in the car community know as well. In the end, it's buyer beware.
Don't say I didn't warn you. It is Fraud Awareness month after all.
I heard on the radio that March is Fraud Awareness month. Whether that is true or not, I find it ironic that it was less than a week ago, a fraudster was caught up in a kidnapping.
Last Thursday, a man was found beaten and bound at the side of a road. His 2010 Bentley Continental GT was stolen, and then recovered a short time later. Police are currently looking for up to 4 suspects in this kidnapping case.
A brief recap: OCEANSKY goes down and another one: OCEANSKY
Sounds like a case of robbery gone wrong or something, but the plate on the Bentley (later as I discovered) was OCEANSKY. I've seen that plate somewhere before. Upon further digging, the owner is very well known in the car community. Friends of friends know him. His name? Reza Mokhtarian. If you've heard of Capital Trust Markets (based off in New Zealand) and Forex Trading, he was the one who ran it. He is also the founder of Mentor Tips
Years ago, he asked those to put their investments into this, because they would get a 15% return rate every month. His tactic is as so: become a millionaire in less than a year. That's how he (supposedly) became one so quick. I don't believe in that crap anyways. Anyone who holds conferences to talk about how to become a millionaire very quick is all a scam. You still have to pay money to find out how, and the tips are pretty useless (haven't tried, but voluntarily went to one of those conferences and wasn't a fan of how it was portrayed). When you think about it, the human mind is very selfish, especially when it comes to money, and a lot of money. Those who make a lot of money will not tell everyone how to do it, because then everyone will be millionaires. Then others will outdo you. So why risk that? This is why I don't believe in those things. They try to make it all sound so catchy and that you'll be a millionaire in no time. In reality, it won't happen overnight, and it won't happen in less than a year.
To prove he was rich, he got a mansion, bought exotic cars, and appeared to be well off. In reality, the home was not under his name, and the cars ended up to be rentals. People had invested, trusting they would get a good return, but when they tried to access their money, the system would show they had nothing. People would go after him, and well, just like all liars and fraudsters out there, they have their ways of making up stories to delay getting their money back. What he does is basically like a Ponzi scheme.
If you Google "reza ferrari chat", a huge thread comes up in who he is, and what he does. His Aventador is a rental, and so is his Bentley.
The kidnapping story just seemed so weird. If the people involved were former investors or just plain enemies wanting their money back, they might as well just ask him to force sign documents, or get money withdrawn, kidnap him then kill him. The fact that he was found beaten and not dead, suggests that it was a scare tactic, or it was a set up. But really, scare tactic? He's still not going to pay up. Maybe they all hope that after this, he would take it more seriously and return people's money. Who knows.
It reminds me of Lou Pearlman, the former manager of the Backstreet Boys, and N'Sync. Before he became manager of BSB, he had convinced investors to invest in his Trans Continental Airlines company, which only existed on paper. He defrauded investors over $300 million. When the Backstreet Boys became successful and was selling out concerts, he used their fame to try and pay back the investors. He convinced the Boys that each were only allowed a certain salary (it was around $300,000 for each), while the rest would go to his pocket to pay back his investors. As a screaming fan growing up, I'd always thought those 5 guys were super rich. In reality, Pearlman owed them millions as well.
Pearlman was finally caught in 2007 and was found guilty of running the longest Ponzi scheme in history and sentenced to 25 years in jail.
Another one in the car community is (we shall call him) Andre. Supposedly drives a GTR (last I heard, it was found in a lake) and knows a lot about it. Offers to help with car parts and doesn't want money. Yeah, because in the end when your parts get installed, your car falls apart and you are left to pay a huge bill to repair your car. Which costs more than just the "free" parts itself. Some GTR owners are still left without their parts, or money from this guy. They call him, email him, go to his home to get things back and are left empty handed, because the entire family acts like they're in a Ponzi scheme.
He's nice to people initially, and that's how people fall for his tactic. He works his way into people's lives by buying them things, whether it's jewelry, car parts, you name it. Once he establishes trust, then he will screw you over by not returning items or money. And when you start to go after him, he will run and get his mom to finish you off. The family will see you as a bad influence to him and will blame you for everything, when in reality, he's the one causing you to go crazy. You just want your stuff back. How hard is that?
Apparently it's difficult. A lot of people are still waiting for their items and money (which he doesn't have because they have gone towards lavish dinners with different girls). He is also another bad news in the car community. Shops are aware of him, GTR owners are aware of him, and I'm pretty sure other randoms in the car community know as well. In the end, it's buyer beware.
Don't say I didn't warn you. It is Fraud Awareness month after all.
Wednesday, February 24, 2016
Sugar Daddy - My View
I was browsing the Toronto Star's website when I stumbled upon an article titled "Sugar daddy dating: Toronto men bid on first dates online".
Here is the link: Sugar Daddy Dating
Upon reading it, I felt quite disgusted. Disgusted because the founder of Seeking Arrangements, Brandon Wade, has now come up with different ways of "sugar daddying".
What is a sugar daddy? It's when wealthy guys (most of them are above 50) who are married (or not) who seek companionship and pay girls for their company. It can range from dinner dates to trips to having monthly allowances. It sounds pretty awesome right? Well, most of the time, an exchange for sex is also required.
Sugar babies are those who look for sugar daddies to get monthly allowances to pay off their loans and what not, and to "seek companionship". In other words, gold diggers.
People have correlated this sugar exchange as prostitution. I guess to a certain degree, yes. I agree it's no different than prostitution because a girl seeks a guy, keeps him company, probably has sex with them, and then the girls get paid for their company. Those who are involved in this dating game don't think it is, because it's more than just sex. It's like going on a date with someone and paying for their meals, or buying them gifts. Well yeah, you do that initially because you want to get to know the person, and see if you want to have them as a life partner. But to have 5 sugar babies at once, or 5 sugar daddies, that isn't a real relationship. That's prostitution.
WIth the high housing prices in the city, along with ridiculous tax hikes and just overall in general prices going up (and the terrible Canadian dollar), this becomes a main drive into why young girls start looking for sugar daddies to pay off their tuition and bills. They believe it's the easy way out, and if it's easy, then why not? A lot of us like to take the easy way out. It's what I call the lazy way. If you think taking the easy way out will be good for your future, you may want to think again. Once you take the lazy way, you never want to take the hard way out. And that will reflect on your future job prospectives and the way you perform at jobs as well.
According to the Global News and what they have reported, University of Toronto is the number one university in Canada to have the most sugar babies sign up for the year of 2015. Here is the link:
Congrats U of T for being number 1 in prostituting!
With the rise in tuition, it is not a surprise these students are signing up to seek sugar daddies in Toronto. Everything is money driven. And everyone wants to have the easy way out.
Let me tell you something. I didn't graduate long ago. I never had a sugar daddy. I paid for my tuition. I got off my butt to look for jobs and worked 2 jobs in the summer, and worked casually during the school months, in order to pay for my bills and just generally save. I worked a lot of night shifts because I knew the premium pay was there. I found jobs related to my field of study because I was in it for the work experience. The money came second, which I was fortunate that it had pretty good pay for a student. I didn't have a car at that time, so expenses were much lower. I took transit because it was the "easiest" way.
I still managed to graduate, with no loans, and no sugar daddies.
If you ask Generation X and part of Y (the early years), a lot of graduates worked hard to get to where they are today. No sugar daddies were needed. A lot of them knew what hard work meant, and a lot of them had to juggle 2 jobs or more, to make ends meet. Having a sugar daddy was unheard of.
Suddenly now in this generation, sugar daddies and babies are everywhere. Money is the number one drive. Who cares about hurt feelings? As long as you get your bills paid. Right?
Which brings me to another issue of this generation. I don't know how many times I've heard from friends, and people who I don't like, about how difficult it is to find the right person in this day and age. The "one".
Guys complain that the girls they meet are gold diggers, not independent enough, not pretty enough, not skinny enough. They complain these girls are too casual, dress like a skank, or just not smart enough. They don't feel appreciated.
Girls complain that guys just want to get in their pants. They analyze the guy's job, how much money they make, are they good looking, how do they dress, how do they talk, or treat them or their friends, prefer tall versus short, do they buy gifts spontaneously or not. They don't feel appreciated.
I could go on and on. Now not all guys or girls will think like that, but there is a good amount that will display it either right in your face, or sort of "under the carpet" (i.e they try to not say it directly but will give hints indirectly).
The most common trend I can see when both guys and girls complain about each other? They're all superficial points. The most common superficial point is money and sex. We are driven to the point that it seems like only those two points matter in this day and age. Having those sugar daddy websites will not help this population improve on themselves. In fact, it's getting worse now that these sugar daddy websites have popped up. Society is becoming way more disastrous. There is no moral right or wrong anymore, because everyone decides for themselves what's right and wrong; we have thrown away the concept of God and Scripture. We have become our own gods in deciding what's right and wrong. And this is very scary.
So many people complain about their dates gone wrong, and not finding the right person. Because we have thrown away our basics. Our morality. Our values. Girls and guys have one night stands with each other because it's "the norm" and feel if they don't, then maybe they won't have that connection. How ridiculous is that? Even if you do it for fun, do you not have any shame? Do you not value yourself?
I believe that if we throw away our worth and our value, and allow things like sugar daddies to embrace us while we have nearly hit rock bottom, it still doesn't change the fact that you were used for sex and money. Girls want money, guys want sex. And you wonder why this generation is going to garbage.
If we are to raise a generation of kids to believe that taking the easy way out is good, we are setting the next generation up for disaster. It is already a disaster, and it will only get worse. We have to keep persevering for a proper upbringing, and to bring value and worth to a person. The concept of sugar daddies is an easy way out of our daily problems. It's tempting, and that's exactly what the devil does. He tempts. Our weakness is money, and he will continue to use that against us, unless we stand up and fight against the temptation.
Which leads me to: cheating. A lot of those sugar daddies are married. Very few are single and mingling. Yet they go behind their spouse's backs to pay for young adults for companionship. What kind of example is this for the younger generation? That cheating is ok? And you wonder why the younger generation are messed up today. The older ones lead by example, and if this is what the younger generation see, they will think going behind their spouse's backs is normal and cool, as long as you do it in secret.
Divorce is now at an all time high of 50/50. We want to obviously reduce that percentage, but it's going to be hard if we have constant coverage and websites that deal with stuff like sugar daddies. And influencing the younger generation that it's ok to do it, because it pays your bills. It's the most evil type of marketing if you ask me.
A real relationship is about working together, helping each other, supporting each other through thick and thin, having set values and beliefs to pass on to the children, but most importantly, to love each other - through sickness and health, until death do us apart. It seems that the current generation do not know the basic foundation of what a relationship should really consist of. Who do we have to blame? The generation before us, for introducing such an atrocious idea to make life "easier" when in fact, it's becoming a disaster. The same generation who is responsible for raising the next generation is now responsible for creating a disastrous generation of lost souls.
Here is the link: Sugar Daddy Dating
Upon reading it, I felt quite disgusted. Disgusted because the founder of Seeking Arrangements, Brandon Wade, has now come up with different ways of "sugar daddying".
What is a sugar daddy? It's when wealthy guys (most of them are above 50) who are married (or not) who seek companionship and pay girls for their company. It can range from dinner dates to trips to having monthly allowances. It sounds pretty awesome right? Well, most of the time, an exchange for sex is also required.
Sugar babies are those who look for sugar daddies to get monthly allowances to pay off their loans and what not, and to "seek companionship". In other words, gold diggers.
People have correlated this sugar exchange as prostitution. I guess to a certain degree, yes. I agree it's no different than prostitution because a girl seeks a guy, keeps him company, probably has sex with them, and then the girls get paid for their company. Those who are involved in this dating game don't think it is, because it's more than just sex. It's like going on a date with someone and paying for their meals, or buying them gifts. Well yeah, you do that initially because you want to get to know the person, and see if you want to have them as a life partner. But to have 5 sugar babies at once, or 5 sugar daddies, that isn't a real relationship. That's prostitution.
WIth the high housing prices in the city, along with ridiculous tax hikes and just overall in general prices going up (and the terrible Canadian dollar), this becomes a main drive into why young girls start looking for sugar daddies to pay off their tuition and bills. They believe it's the easy way out, and if it's easy, then why not? A lot of us like to take the easy way out. It's what I call the lazy way. If you think taking the easy way out will be good for your future, you may want to think again. Once you take the lazy way, you never want to take the hard way out. And that will reflect on your future job prospectives and the way you perform at jobs as well.
According to the Global News and what they have reported, University of Toronto is the number one university in Canada to have the most sugar babies sign up for the year of 2015. Here is the link:
Congrats U of T for being number 1 in prostituting!
With the rise in tuition, it is not a surprise these students are signing up to seek sugar daddies in Toronto. Everything is money driven. And everyone wants to have the easy way out.
Let me tell you something. I didn't graduate long ago. I never had a sugar daddy. I paid for my tuition. I got off my butt to look for jobs and worked 2 jobs in the summer, and worked casually during the school months, in order to pay for my bills and just generally save. I worked a lot of night shifts because I knew the premium pay was there. I found jobs related to my field of study because I was in it for the work experience. The money came second, which I was fortunate that it had pretty good pay for a student. I didn't have a car at that time, so expenses were much lower. I took transit because it was the "easiest" way.
I still managed to graduate, with no loans, and no sugar daddies.
If you ask Generation X and part of Y (the early years), a lot of graduates worked hard to get to where they are today. No sugar daddies were needed. A lot of them knew what hard work meant, and a lot of them had to juggle 2 jobs or more, to make ends meet. Having a sugar daddy was unheard of.
Suddenly now in this generation, sugar daddies and babies are everywhere. Money is the number one drive. Who cares about hurt feelings? As long as you get your bills paid. Right?
Which brings me to another issue of this generation. I don't know how many times I've heard from friends, and people who I don't like, about how difficult it is to find the right person in this day and age. The "one".
Guys complain that the girls they meet are gold diggers, not independent enough, not pretty enough, not skinny enough. They complain these girls are too casual, dress like a skank, or just not smart enough. They don't feel appreciated.
Girls complain that guys just want to get in their pants. They analyze the guy's job, how much money they make, are they good looking, how do they dress, how do they talk, or treat them or their friends, prefer tall versus short, do they buy gifts spontaneously or not. They don't feel appreciated.
I could go on and on. Now not all guys or girls will think like that, but there is a good amount that will display it either right in your face, or sort of "under the carpet" (i.e they try to not say it directly but will give hints indirectly).
The most common trend I can see when both guys and girls complain about each other? They're all superficial points. The most common superficial point is money and sex. We are driven to the point that it seems like only those two points matter in this day and age. Having those sugar daddy websites will not help this population improve on themselves. In fact, it's getting worse now that these sugar daddy websites have popped up. Society is becoming way more disastrous. There is no moral right or wrong anymore, because everyone decides for themselves what's right and wrong; we have thrown away the concept of God and Scripture. We have become our own gods in deciding what's right and wrong. And this is very scary.
So many people complain about their dates gone wrong, and not finding the right person. Because we have thrown away our basics. Our morality. Our values. Girls and guys have one night stands with each other because it's "the norm" and feel if they don't, then maybe they won't have that connection. How ridiculous is that? Even if you do it for fun, do you not have any shame? Do you not value yourself?
I believe that if we throw away our worth and our value, and allow things like sugar daddies to embrace us while we have nearly hit rock bottom, it still doesn't change the fact that you were used for sex and money. Girls want money, guys want sex. And you wonder why this generation is going to garbage.
If we are to raise a generation of kids to believe that taking the easy way out is good, we are setting the next generation up for disaster. It is already a disaster, and it will only get worse. We have to keep persevering for a proper upbringing, and to bring value and worth to a person. The concept of sugar daddies is an easy way out of our daily problems. It's tempting, and that's exactly what the devil does. He tempts. Our weakness is money, and he will continue to use that against us, unless we stand up and fight against the temptation.
Which leads me to: cheating. A lot of those sugar daddies are married. Very few are single and mingling. Yet they go behind their spouse's backs to pay for young adults for companionship. What kind of example is this for the younger generation? That cheating is ok? And you wonder why the younger generation are messed up today. The older ones lead by example, and if this is what the younger generation see, they will think going behind their spouse's backs is normal and cool, as long as you do it in secret.
Divorce is now at an all time high of 50/50. We want to obviously reduce that percentage, but it's going to be hard if we have constant coverage and websites that deal with stuff like sugar daddies. And influencing the younger generation that it's ok to do it, because it pays your bills. It's the most evil type of marketing if you ask me.
A real relationship is about working together, helping each other, supporting each other through thick and thin, having set values and beliefs to pass on to the children, but most importantly, to love each other - through sickness and health, until death do us apart. It seems that the current generation do not know the basic foundation of what a relationship should really consist of. Who do we have to blame? The generation before us, for introducing such an atrocious idea to make life "easier" when in fact, it's becoming a disaster. The same generation who is responsible for raising the next generation is now responsible for creating a disastrous generation of lost souls.
Monday, February 22, 2016
Assumptions
Lately I've encountered people wondering where I have been, since they haven't seen me much at work. This varies between coworkers and patients. Truth is, I have been at work almost everyday. The tricky part is, I'm everywhere in the program...like Casper the ghost.
Some people can get offended when people assume wrong about them, but I try to see it as a fun way to open the conversation, especially when I haven't seen them for some time.
A lot of people assumed I was off for vacation the past few months. A "hey, haven't seen you for so long! Where have you been?? On vacation?!" opening conversation. In reality, I was off for a bit due to M's passing, then I got really sick from the lack of sleep from his passing. I had taken time off for personal reasons and a mini vacation, but then returned back to work.
My answer to the vacation part is straight forward for most part: yes, but before that I was off for personal reasons. Some of them know of M's passing and how it's been affecting me, so they know the pain of what it's like to lose a loved one/furry pet. Especially when one grows up with pets. There were a few times people asked why I looked sad, and I tell them about M. That would open up a conversation about pets in general, and they would also talk about their own experiences with pets, and what it's like to lose a beloved pet.
I remember one lovely lady who was listening into my conversation with another coworker about M's passing. This was in the beginning when it was still very fresh, and I did not know how to cope, except to talk about M. As she listened, it brought back memories of when she had a cat. We started talking about the good memories, and how smart cats are. It was a fulfilling conversation. She was really funny too, always made us laugh with her good humour. Unfortunately, she has passed on so there won't be anymore fun cat stories to share, but God bless her soul.
The other assumption that happened the other day was if I was on maternity leave. I nearly died laughing. The man meant no harm; he probably thought well, for a woman my age, I ought to be popping out babies. But in reality, that did not happen. There was no mat leave. I answered by saying I wasn't married yet. And the look on his face was O_O "My goodness, I'm so sorry! I feel so embarrassed! I didn't know!" I had to really calm him down, that it was an honest mistake haha. But he only asked because he hadn't seen me for quite some time.
My bestie and I work in the same program, and we look very different. Yet for some reason, people still get us mixed up. I am probably double her height, so that would be a dead giveaway. The bestie is getting married this year and a lot of people are aware. The other day, I was working with someone who I haven't seen in a while. She asked "so you're the one getting married". I gave her this funny look and replied "I am?! Not that I'm aware!" She asked if I was getting married to C and I said ohhhh right, I'm B but you're thinking of A! She felt quite bad about getting us mixed up, but hey I don't blame her. There are too many staff members to remember!
I remember going to the dealership to get a battery exchanged, and that thing is damn heavy. Totally didn't realize how heavy it was, and considering my back is not that strong, I couldn't lift it. I had asked the service guy if he could bring the new one to the trunk, and he had no problem with that. At this point, I was wearing the Chanel WOC under my winter jacket and the flap was opened. It didn't occur to me that with my jacket over the open WOC, it made my belly look big. The service man was nice enough to bring out the battery into my car, and then he asked "Are you expecting soon?" I gave him a puzzled look and said no.....
I think he felt really embarrassed. It's almost like asking a bigger lady if they're pregnant when they're not. They're just...big. In this case, it was my bag causing that pregnant look. It took me a few minutes to realize why he thought that, when I looked down at myself and said...DAMN YOU WOC!!! DAMN YOU CHANEL! YOU DECEIVING LITTLE BAG!
So what's the point of this? Don't take things too personally when people assume wrong things about you. Even if you are getting the same questions asked over and over, that's when you start thinking of creative ways to open the conversation. You never know, maybe that person is having a rough day. The last thing you want to do is to yell at them for assuming the wrong thing about you. And you know what? Laugh. Laughter is the best medicine.
Wednesday, February 10, 2016
Purse Adventures
As I was reading The Purse Forum's handbag thread, I came upon various experiences by women (mostly women) who encounter snarky remarks from strangers when they are out and about with their handbags. It was both good and bad remarks.
There was also a Youtube video posted by someone (I believe it got removed already) which showed two girls, one who was wearing a designer handbag. They had a small/micro camera hooked onto them and were basically going around town, yelling at all the ladies who were wearing bags (whether they were expensive or not), and saying things like "you'll never be me because you'll never own a bag like mine" or something to that degree. To summarize, it was a video about putting people down based on what they can/can't afford.
Now, don't get me wrong. I know there are far more serious issues out there in the world today that need to be recognized. But realize this is a blog, not a news reporting agency. I write based on what hits my head first, and sometimes there are so many things going on, it's hard to gather it all up and write something neat. This doesn't mean that purses are always on my mind though. But at this point, I definitely needed some sort of distraction.
Anyways, going back to what I was saying before.
The forum members got really annoyed at what they saw, because in today's society, flaunting one's wealth can be seen to others as a "show off" type of thing. And one reason why the non wealthy have a hard time dealing with the wealthy is because of that intimidation. The way I see it: we are all humans. It doesn't matter if one was given more than the other, but you're still human. One day you may have all this wealth, but the next day you could go bankrupt. Then what do you do?
The video may have gave a false ideology that all wealthy people are like that. They put others down, they bad mouth those who can't afford expensive handbags, they are all entitled brats etc. It's just a generalization, because in reality you have all types of people and all types of background, wealthy or not, who work hard to get their handbags. This doesn't mean they are wealthy. It just means they managed to handle their finances properly in order to be able to afford one.
I'm a regular working class citizen who pays my taxes. I work hard for what I have, and help others as well. To those who meet me off the streets, they won't know that. If I wore one of my designer handbags, they will just think I'm an entitled brat whose rich parents or boyfriend/husband bought for me. They can think whatever they want, but as long as I know what path I chose to get to where I am today, that's all that matters.
It's also about the attitude. If I gave a snobby attitude back, then of course they will have that image that all designer handbag owners are snobby. One of the things I read was about how random strangers will approach these ladies and ask about their handbags. Not that there is nothing wrong in asking about a product, but they will go into questions like how much did the bag cost, is it real, what kind of job do you have in order to afford it etc.
These are all legit questions. But that's just like me approaching a man or woman who drives a Lamborghini or Ferrari, asking them how much their car costs and what do they do for a living. You can easily search the price of those cars online, so it's not like the prices are hidden from the public. For someone to ask a stranger that, in front of public, it is intimidating. So I don't blame those owners for not answering, or for turning their backs because it is a personal question. If you already know the price range of those exotics, why would you go up to the owner and ask them? To me, that's just stupid.
Going back to the handbag price questions, same thing. The prices are readily available online on the company websites. It's not like it's hidden from the world (ok, minus Chanel but even when searching used handbags from consignment shops, that already gives you an idea of what it costs). So if ladies already know about the brand and about how expensive they can get, why would get go up to a stranger and ask them? You're pretty much just rubbing it in their face.
Another one was how random strangers approach the ladies and ask if they could touch their bags. Again, it's up to the owner to decide if they want to let their bags get touched or not. It's almost like how someone approaches a stranger and asks if they could pet their dog or cat. It's all about the attitude whether you really want people to touch your possessions or not.
How do I deal with stranger questions? I personally haven't had any strangers come up to me to ask me about my bag, whether it's intimidating for them or I don't know what else was going through their minds. I did have a couple of friends ask about the Chanel and how much it cost, but of course it was asked in front of a group of people. Now that can get a bit awkward. However, I answered by saying "cost enough for me" and that was that. But when we were more in a private setting, that's when I brought it up again and answered her question. It's a bit more challenging with strangers in a public setting because it's not like you can pull them aside to a quiet area and answer their question. People find ways to answer those questions in creative ways. I can only think of "priceless".
I do have coworkers admire the blue and pink Prada bags. The blue one always gets asked at work, and if I could bring it next time, so I say sure. They touch it, and I let them of course. Because I know how hard working they are, and most are busy with kids and raising them. If this is what makes them temporarily happy, then I'll do it. The pink Prada had a bit of a photo session while I was gone for my conference. Quite a few of them took pictures carrying it and posing with it, for memories and to also show their families. It was really fun and cute to see them do that and have so much fun doing it. And that's what brings me the happiness; when I see other people being happy and having fun.
In the end, it's all about the attitude. Handbag owners will get the same questions asked as those who own supercars. It's a matter of approach and response. The best ones are the creative answers, because those can spark some interesting conversations.
There was also a Youtube video posted by someone (I believe it got removed already) which showed two girls, one who was wearing a designer handbag. They had a small/micro camera hooked onto them and were basically going around town, yelling at all the ladies who were wearing bags (whether they were expensive or not), and saying things like "you'll never be me because you'll never own a bag like mine" or something to that degree. To summarize, it was a video about putting people down based on what they can/can't afford.
Now, don't get me wrong. I know there are far more serious issues out there in the world today that need to be recognized. But realize this is a blog, not a news reporting agency. I write based on what hits my head first, and sometimes there are so many things going on, it's hard to gather it all up and write something neat. This doesn't mean that purses are always on my mind though. But at this point, I definitely needed some sort of distraction.
Anyways, going back to what I was saying before.
The forum members got really annoyed at what they saw, because in today's society, flaunting one's wealth can be seen to others as a "show off" type of thing. And one reason why the non wealthy have a hard time dealing with the wealthy is because of that intimidation. The way I see it: we are all humans. It doesn't matter if one was given more than the other, but you're still human. One day you may have all this wealth, but the next day you could go bankrupt. Then what do you do?
The video may have gave a false ideology that all wealthy people are like that. They put others down, they bad mouth those who can't afford expensive handbags, they are all entitled brats etc. It's just a generalization, because in reality you have all types of people and all types of background, wealthy or not, who work hard to get their handbags. This doesn't mean they are wealthy. It just means they managed to handle their finances properly in order to be able to afford one.
I'm a regular working class citizen who pays my taxes. I work hard for what I have, and help others as well. To those who meet me off the streets, they won't know that. If I wore one of my designer handbags, they will just think I'm an entitled brat whose rich parents or boyfriend/husband bought for me. They can think whatever they want, but as long as I know what path I chose to get to where I am today, that's all that matters.
It's also about the attitude. If I gave a snobby attitude back, then of course they will have that image that all designer handbag owners are snobby. One of the things I read was about how random strangers will approach these ladies and ask about their handbags. Not that there is nothing wrong in asking about a product, but they will go into questions like how much did the bag cost, is it real, what kind of job do you have in order to afford it etc.
These are all legit questions. But that's just like me approaching a man or woman who drives a Lamborghini or Ferrari, asking them how much their car costs and what do they do for a living. You can easily search the price of those cars online, so it's not like the prices are hidden from the public. For someone to ask a stranger that, in front of public, it is intimidating. So I don't blame those owners for not answering, or for turning their backs because it is a personal question. If you already know the price range of those exotics, why would you go up to the owner and ask them? To me, that's just stupid.
Going back to the handbag price questions, same thing. The prices are readily available online on the company websites. It's not like it's hidden from the world (ok, minus Chanel but even when searching used handbags from consignment shops, that already gives you an idea of what it costs). So if ladies already know about the brand and about how expensive they can get, why would get go up to a stranger and ask them? You're pretty much just rubbing it in their face.
Another one was how random strangers approach the ladies and ask if they could touch their bags. Again, it's up to the owner to decide if they want to let their bags get touched or not. It's almost like how someone approaches a stranger and asks if they could pet their dog or cat. It's all about the attitude whether you really want people to touch your possessions or not.
How do I deal with stranger questions? I personally haven't had any strangers come up to me to ask me about my bag, whether it's intimidating for them or I don't know what else was going through their minds. I did have a couple of friends ask about the Chanel and how much it cost, but of course it was asked in front of a group of people. Now that can get a bit awkward. However, I answered by saying "cost enough for me" and that was that. But when we were more in a private setting, that's when I brought it up again and answered her question. It's a bit more challenging with strangers in a public setting because it's not like you can pull them aside to a quiet area and answer their question. People find ways to answer those questions in creative ways. I can only think of "priceless".
I do have coworkers admire the blue and pink Prada bags. The blue one always gets asked at work, and if I could bring it next time, so I say sure. They touch it, and I let them of course. Because I know how hard working they are, and most are busy with kids and raising them. If this is what makes them temporarily happy, then I'll do it. The pink Prada had a bit of a photo session while I was gone for my conference. Quite a few of them took pictures carrying it and posing with it, for memories and to also show their families. It was really fun and cute to see them do that and have so much fun doing it. And that's what brings me the happiness; when I see other people being happy and having fun.
In the end, it's all about the attitude. Handbag owners will get the same questions asked as those who own supercars. It's a matter of approach and response. The best ones are the creative answers, because those can spark some interesting conversations.
Monday, February 08, 2016
Cars vs. Purses vs. Heels?
Some of us have a passion to collect certain items or hobbies. It all varies from cards to figurines, from die-cast models to real cars, from purses to heels. So which are best investments? It varies, and you have to look at the market as well to see what is popular and what isn't.
I'm not a collector of high heels. In fact I hate heels. They are super uncomfortable, they are terrible for the feet, and terrible for overall posture. If you have a bad back already, heels just make it worse. However, I do have a huge collection of shoes. Mostly running shoes (haha). My tallest heel is probably no taller than 1.5 inch. That to me is already tall enough.
My mom used to tell me to be more lady-like by wearing heels more often. This of course was at a time when I participated in cross-country/long distance running and track and field. So my focus was on the best running shoes, not the tallest sexiest heels. She did her best by buying me heels, which I rarely wore (and still rarely do), so then she stopped. However, I was still forced to wear heels whenever there was a formal event or wedding. I'd love to show up to a wedding with a nice dress and comfy running shoes but that would just be terrible...or maybe not?
Christian Louboutin heels are sexy. I have to admit. I really like the black and red contrast. I would love to have a collection of those, but what's the point if they are just on display at home and never worn? The height would kill my feet and back. Their shortest heels don't look as nice as the tall ones, so there's no point buying the shorter heels just to say "Oh look I have them!" I'll gladly admire them on someone else who can rock them well, but otherwise it's just imagination for me. Plus pointy stilettos are hell to walk in. I'm pretty sure I'd trip and fall on my face.
I have seen women collect Louboutins and have them on display in their closets. When I mean collection, I mean they have like 50 pairs of the exact same heels. I have seen used Louboutins go for just under a grand so they still retain their value. But the most common scuff that is mentioned is that the bottom is scuffed up, because obviously it's a shoe. It's been worn so it will have scuff marks on it. And that's how the value goes down. To me, shoes/heels are just like tires. Eventually they will get worn out, so the value just goes down even further. Unless you keep them in the closet for many years and never wear them, I don't see a point collecting heels. It's like a car fanatic collecting tires in his or her's garage. Some people see it as good investments but I don't.
I have seen women collect Louboutins and have them on display in their closets. When I mean collection, I mean they have like 50 pairs of the exact same heels. I have seen used Louboutins go for just under a grand so they still retain their value. But the most common scuff that is mentioned is that the bottom is scuffed up, because obviously it's a shoe. It's been worn so it will have scuff marks on it. And that's how the value goes down. To me, shoes/heels are just like tires. Eventually they will get worn out, so the value just goes down even further. Unless you keep them in the closet for many years and never wear them, I don't see a point collecting heels. It's like a car fanatic collecting tires in his or her's garage. Some people see it as good investments but I don't.
Die-cast models. I started collecting them around the 2003 mark (with my first model being a BMW Z3 in 1999; received as a gift from my cousin). At that time I had no idea these pieces would be investment pieces. I liked them because they were miniature and so cool to play with. As time went on, and I learned about the various companies that make model cars, I aimed to buy the best ones. The rare models were also the one with better investments, but I had to like the models too. I didn't want to buy a rare model just for the sake of having a rare model.
I was fortunate enough to buy a 1/12 Lamborghini Murcielago 40th anniversary edition in the summer of 2008. I remember working a lot of night shifts as a student and saved up to get one. A lot of hobby stores were selling it for $600-700 plus tax. At that time the 40th anniversary edition was still available, but it had to be pre-ordered. I ended up paying $550 cash (as I bargained with the manager; my friend and I bought from his store back in the day) for it, and it took about 1.5 weeks before it finally arrived. It is my holy grail so to speak, and I do plan to keep it for a very long time. I know some hobbyists bought it and would keep it to resell it for the future for double the price. If you look on Ebay, a 1/12 40th anniversary model is going for $1,500+. That's because after 2008, both 1/18 and 1/12 models were sold out worldwide (2,000 and 1,000 pieces worldwide). If you were one of the ones who bought it back in the day, you are very lucky.
Not all models are going to have a high resale price. It really depends what model, and how sought after it is in the market. Something like a Nissan R34 Nismo would sell for a higher price than say...a Ferrari F430 or 360. That's not to say Ferrari is worthless, but it's more available than the Nismo. There are ones with limited worldwide pieces which are also highly sought after, but again it really depends. Is it a track car? A road car? Nascar? Formula 1? If the market is more into the road car, then the road car will be much more valuable than Nascar, because more people would want to buy that road car. For example, Nissan GTR R35 in 1/18. A road car but it is sold out (according to Autoart's website). I remember asking the store if they had anymore, and they said it had been sold out for some time.
I stopped collecting as space became an issue (and plus it's hard as heck to move all those models back and forth), but all I can say is...I definitely have way more die-cast model cars than shoes and purses combined. My cool factor just went up.
Now going to real cars. I think the person working a normal 9-5 job is going to have a more difficult time having a car collection than say...someone like Jay Leno. Unless your bank account is infinite, collecting real cars is going to be a challenge, unless you save up a lot or find other side jobs (hey, stripping counts but is not recommended. Props to the dancers though; it takes great strength and practice). Having 2 cars in a family home seems to be the average. But in a household full of gear heads, 2 is just the start.
Now imagine this. Husband and wife are both gear heads. Both husband and wife have a daily car each (because of working in different parts of the city). And both have a summer car they can take on nice days out. So that's 4 cars. Then of course if you have a family, you'll need a car big enough for the entire family. So that makes 5. Now this is assuming the other 4 cars are coupes, so either it will be impossible to fit baby seats, or there is no backseat period. So the gear head family would have 5 cars. Both hubby and wife better be working lots of overtime in order to make it possible!
That would be the ultimate goal for a gear head couple. Of course there are other ways to reduce the amount of cars in the family, but this is for serious gear heads. I definitely wouldn't mind having that many cars. The only problem is putting them all safely away at night. A 5 car garage? Good luck. I'm sure it can still work with a 2 car garage. Just put the 2 summer cars away. Boom done. Sounds easy on paper but insurance would be a nightmare in real life.
As most people already know, cars are depreciating items. As soon as you drive off the lot, the value already goes down by 11% and can reach 19% by the end of the first year of ownership. You can baby it as much as you can, but it still wouldn't add value to it. This alone is the main reason why owning a car is expensive. Because of depreciation. Some may think buying higher end models is better because it depreciates less, but that's not always the case. For example, I saw a nice 2014 Porsche Cayman S going used for close to $89k. Brand new starts at around $73k. The owner had added a bunch of options to the car, and in total he paid close to $128k. So yes, it was a lot of (useless) options. He had driven the car for a few months (from May to probably August or September of that same year), then decided he didn't want the car anymore. Sold it to the dealership, and dealership gave him about $78k back. And now the dealership is selling it for $89k. Adding a bunch of options does not increase the value of the car. As a base S, it's already good enough for what it is, so I would leave it be. There is no point adding a bunch of options (unless of course you have the funds for it).
Which is why I have the mindset to always get a base model. It's basic yes, but you won't be able to sit back, relax and watch movies while you drive. You can't do manicures or pedicures while you drive. The point is to focus on driving and driving alone. If you are a gear head, you test out the limits of your car but you need to be focused to do that. If the car is already good as a base model, then that's great already! Instead of spending money to get the S or GT, you might as well get the base, put some basic bolt ons, and tune it. Boom done. And then of course save the rest or use that money towards something else.
In the words of Meghan Trainor, IT'S ALL ABOUT THE BASE, BOUT THE BASE, NO OPTIONS!
Now onto handbags. This is probably the one that most people will see as useless and dumb. It's also common with gear heads and their wives. Hubby with cars, wife with purses. That seems to be the trend. Maybe not all, but it's a good amount I would say. The only difference is handbags will retain their value over time, as much as you don't want to believe it, but they do. Again, it really depends on which brands. Some brands will hold their value a lot better than others. It also depends on the market as well.
I have noticed a lot of women (and men) flocking to Louis Vuitton for their bags, wallets, suitcases etc over the years. I never really understood why, because a lot of their products are coated canvas. Supposedly more durable than anything, but I wouldn't really know because I don't own a handbag from LV. The price you pay for a LV coated canvas handbag is pretty similar to getting a saffiano leather Prada wallet. I think it really depends on preference as well. Would you prefer coated canvas or something leather? To me, I can get coated canvas from other contemporary brands. Heck, even they sell leather products. At this point, it's all about the brand and paying for the label.
On the used market, LVs still manage to retain their values, but I noticed not as well as before. It could be because older handbags were much more durable than the current line up, so the resale value of the older handbags are much higher than the new ones. I've noticed the newer ones sell for much less in the used market. As soon as there is a bit of discolouring or marks on it, it drops even more. From what I've heard, Gucci doesn't retain their value as well from before. Prada has been alright in the used market, although it really depends if it's a highly sought after product (eg. the double zip tote is popular). YSL, Celine, Dior, Givenchy and Fendi have been pretty good, whereas Miu Miu's resell value has tanked. The top 2 that have really retained their value are Chanel and Hermes.
Which brings me to...is it really worth spending 6K to 20K for a handbag? Again, it's all about funds and priority. Do not drop down 8K for a handbag if you can't properly feed your family. The worst thing to see is a mother wearing an 8K bag while her kids wear clothes with holes in them, while looking under weight. I have not seen that, but I wouldn't be surprised if there are people out there like that. I just hope one day they will get their priorities straight.
If funds are not an issue, and you want to start investing in a handbag, by all means go for it. If you decide to resell it in the future, you will get most of your cash back (especially if you really took good care of your handbag). It will also depend how popular the item is, and how much in demand they are. Example: Chanel classic double flap in medium and jumbo are hot in the market right now. Resale value is excellent, and Chanel recently increased their price again on classic items (as of January 29, 2016 here in Canada). Some ladies like to customize their bags by hot stamping their initials or names onto the bag itself. Just know that if that happens, it will also affect resale value (unless someone out there has the same initials as you). Customization is where purse charms come into play. There are many places out there that sell purse charms, or you can make it yourself. Those are just temporary items you can hang off your bag to give it your own style and taste, and if you ever decide to sell the bag, you can just remove the charms.
Some may think I'm trying to justify what I buy. To some degree, yes. That's why it's called a hobby. Eventually hobbies may die, so it's not something that will always be permanent. Interests can come and go. Having a hobby is fun though, although tiring when it comes to hunting down items, but it definitely keeps the mind busy. It's more fun when your partner can also understand and participates in the hobby. Sharing a hobby can also make the relationship way more fun and exciting!
Thursday, February 04, 2016
Update
Birthday has come and gone; it was also the most difficult birthday to go through.
People have said the first birthday without a special loved one is the most difficult to deal with, and that I can relate. The realization that you're one year older but also one year rolling forward without them by your side.
The first birthday without M. When the clock struck midnight, tears came rolling down. There was no way I could control my emotions at that point. I cried for a good half hour in front of his urn, wishing that he was here with me. This is the first birthday since I was 10 that I celebrated without him. Almost 2 decades later. It's a very long time, covering the most important transitions in a young person's life. In a way, it's almost like starting all over again. "Mom, when are we getting a cat?" It's like the child in me is asking all over again.
Looking at his pictures, it brings back all the great memories we had over the years. The happiness in his eyes, the smile that he had, and the smiles he brought to all our family and friends over the years. The hardest part is the last few hours of his life when it keeps replaying in my head. It is very difficult for those flashbacks to keep playing over and over again. The flashbacks battle with the good memories and that's how all the emotions come into play.
For half the day, I was pretty sad. To sum it up: I cried. Nothing at that point could make me the same person I was a year ago on the very same day. Half the time I was at work, and my mind was focused on work. Once work was done, it was back to reality and my sadness. It got to the point where I could feel my body becoming stressed, and I got sick. I didn't get sick intentionally, but it just so happened my immune system just broke down and now I continue to fight this cold. This is the second time since his passing that I have gotten sick because I was sad and crying.
Trying to move forward is the hardest part. I am thankful for a great supportive network; although friends want to get together to celebrate my birthday, they also understand it's a very tough time, and will accommodate accordingly to when I feel better to talk and hang out. It also brings me to another important point: do not take advantage of your family or friends or loved ones; do not take them for granted. When I look back at the last year of M's life, the only regret I had was not spending enough time with him. I was so focused on trying to uncover someone else's pathetic lying life, that I overlooked my loved ones. Once they pass, that's when you realize time is precious. It's sad, but sometimes it takes a passing to realize it.
I have made a promise to myself, that I will focus on spending time with my loved ones from this point going forward. God gave us life and life is the greatest gift.
Which brings me to another thought.
I had been watching (yes, again) more crime shows and stumbled upon a case. The Gonzales family murder. Sef Gonzales was 20 years old when he massacred his entire family. The reason? Because he was failing his courses, he was afraid his parents would take away his car and other entitlements. He also wanted to be the sole beneficiary to the family fortune. While growing up, his parents worked hard to make sure their kids would have a good life (what parent wouldn't?). The Gonzales also wanted their kids to be successful in life (what parent wouldn't?) so they pushed them to succeed. Unfortunately for Sef, he felt he wasn't living up to his parents' standards. I also think the entitlement he received over the years shaped who he then became: a murderer.
It reminds me of the Jennifer Pan case. She killed her mom, and injured her dad while staging an attempted robbery in the family home. All that because her parents' standards were too high for her. And also because her parents didn't like her boyfriend. Her parents met in Canada when they were both refugees. They married and had two children. Over the years they worked hard at their jobs, and saved enough to buy a two story home. They wanted the best for their children, but at the same time they wanted their children to succeed. They both established the foundations, and it was time for the children to shine. The thanks they got was a hail of bullets, leaving one dead, and one severely injured.
Both of these culprits sound like someone I used to know: a pathological liar, being entitled to everything from his parents (hint: check back to my PSA announcement entry). Except he hasn't killed his family. Yet, or not that I know of.
Going back to the cases, these days kids are raised with the sense of entitlement. And with technology being way more advanced than 20 to 30 years ago, there is a lot more that one can have access to, at the tip of one's fingertips. Back then, dial up internet was the only way to accessing the world wide web. In a way, it was my parents' way of controlling how much I could go on the internet. So when I was gaming and chatting online to other gamers, they would get pissed and pick up the phone to disconnect me. These days, there is no dial up, so these kids are going online without parental supervision, and chatting up strangers, or meeting them in person and being groomed. But I don't want to say "just kids" but even adults. Adults can also be groomed online and end up meeting the wrong person.
I see parents also paying for their children's cell phone bills. Come on, they're in grade 1. Why do they need a cell phone? This is already opening the door to that sense of entitlement for the rest of their life. I didn't get a cell phone until end of high school (which I was very thankful my parents were paying the bill). It wasn't until I started my summer school jobs that I was able to take over the bill and start paying myself. When you are finally able to achieve it, you have that sense of relief. And now I pay both my bills and theirs as well, as a way to say thank you, and also so that they don't have to worry about more bills.
I believe a lot of it has to do with the friends you make, and the way the parents teach their kids the way of life. I am thankful the friends I have were not into drugs or money or anything illegal. Part of it is also judgement. Parents teach kids to not be around "bad people". Some kids become rebellious and test out the waters, not knowing it is very easy to get sucked into that bad world. It takes 10x the effort to get out of it. Just like any other Asian parents, mine were (and I guess still are) strict to some degree. Growing up, it was all about achieving well in school, in order to go to a good university, get a good job, and have a good life.
I'm not sure if the intelligent gene skipped me but I was definitely not blessed with Straight A's. The math gene skipped me for sure, but my parents never gave up on me. They did their best to send me to tutor classes, regardless if I was doing well or not, and always told me to try my best. They don't expect me to have straight A's, nor have scholarships lined up or anything like that. As long as I tried my best, then it puts a sense of relief. With piano lessons, they found the best teacher available in the city to teach me while growing up. Those years were brutal. I knew my parents invested a lot of time and effort to make this possible, and I knew piano lessons were not cheap. My piano teacher threatened me each time a piano piece was not perfect, saying if I didn't improve by next week, then don't think about coming back again to learn.
Some people don't believe in tough punishments when raising kids, but I believe there has to be some degree of punishment for sure. But it has to be the right mix of punishment and love. I hated the threats and punishments whenever I failed, but I knew I had to achieve it. For example, with piano I knew it took a lot of time, money, and energy. But with 10 years of lessons, I knew I wanted something out of it, not just for myself but I wanted to do it for my parents. I pushed myself and in the end, I received my piano performer's diploma from the Royal Conservatory of Music. I wanted to be the first one in the family (both immediate and extended) to achieve this goal and I did. Graduating from piano and high school at the same time was exhausting and was a huge turning point in my life, but my parents were happy for me. Then again, I couldn't have done it without them, or without God providing me with great parents.
Asian parents also don't express their happiness very well either. You don't see them throwing a big celebratory bash for their kids when they graduate school or something. Instead, it's "well if you had practiced more, you could've gotten a higher grade". I wouldn't say it's the best motivation, but this can also affect a kid's self esteem as well. Especially these days, anything you say can affect someone. Maybe it's also the media that plays a role. When we are all exposed to media and what is said, or how it's said, we think it's the norm. So when we hear "old school stuff" being said to us from our older generation, we get offended. And vice versa.
With the Pan case, I believe a lot of second generation Asians growing up in the Western culture can relate. There comes a point where parents just don't know when their kids are all grown up, that they can stop controlling their lives (as we younger people like to put it). But as long as they are alive, kids will always be kids, even when they are 60 years old. Parents will always be parents. A great quote from my mom: "you will never know what it's like to be a parent until you become one. Then you will know. " And it's true, I will never know until then.
At the same time, kids will grow up to be adults (or so we hope...because there are still guys in their mid 30's who still act like they're 5), and eventually they will need to start making their own decisions with their life, make mistakes, and learn from them. When your kid can start making their own income, manage their life, learn from their mistakes and also show they can take care of you, that's when you know you have succeeded in raising them. Be a proud parent for achieving that. The goal will be there, but the path to getting there may not always be straight and easy. It may take one kid 6 months to get there, and for others maybe a year or 6 or 10 years. Either way, be supportive as a parent. Continue to encourage them through the thick and thin. In the end, it's not even about the goal. When they look back, they will see whether parents were there for them or not. And that's how I looked at all my goals and achievements. It wasn't the goals that I was happy for, but the fact that I have supportive parents, family and friends that were there for me during the good and some of the darkest moments of that journey.
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